Apocalypse: Regression

As the adrenaline from the fight wore off, Nick found himself standing before almost a dozen kneeling knights, who were paying homage to him as if he were their king or religious figure. The Black Witch’s explanation replayed in his mind—that they were treating him this way because they thought of him as her “avatar”—but all of that seemed to fade from the forefront as his mind finally cleared, and he went over the events of the fight in his head. A new thought surfaced and overwhelmed him, causing him to feel a little sick. He turned to Seo-ah, feeling like his stomach was in a knot.

“I’m sorry,” he told her, searching her eyes for some hope that she’d forgive him. He couldn’t understand why he’d done what he’d done.

“It’s . . . It’s okay,” Seo-ah told him, putting a hand on his face. It was as if she were looking at something in him he couldn’t see. “I know you wouldn’t have used it if you had another option. Even with it, we still almost lost you.”

“That’s no excuse . . . I could have asked . . .” Nick replied, rejecting her immediate acceptance of the situation. He had done something wrong, and he didn’t want to get off the hook so easily.

“You talking about the cloak? Cloak of Madness?” Allen pushed his way into the conversation. “Honestly, it’s not like it’s a big deal. I mean, with your charisma stat as it is, I sometimes find it hard to argue with you, and I’m your best friend.”

“Right . . . you’re his best friend,” Reggie scoffed with a laugh as he and Christina walked over.

But as Reggie laughed and Christina followed up with some teasing Nick didn’t hear, Nick began to wonder about the charisma stat. He had always just considered it a tool for his magic and something that made people see him as a little better looking—until Allen phrased it the way he just had. Now he was wondering if the Black Witch’s charisma had been part of the reason he’d gone through with using the Cloak of Madness so quickly. The cloak was, after all, her skill. She was the Queen of Charisma, one who had conquered the lands and united an entire nation by mastering that one stat. What was to say that the connection he had with her, the bond they’d somehow magically formed, hadn’t been created at a price?

It reminded him instantly of his venture into the yellow portal, where he and Adele had barely survived. He remembered how, even then, he had only been half in control of his actions, if that.

I can feel your doubt, and I understand your concern, but there’s no need for it. Banishing doubt takes time, communication takes effort, concern creates hesitation. This is not a world that can afford such luxuries. Every second, every ounce of effort, must be spent in service of protecting humanity. We must, at all times and with all our effort, push to survive. You’ve already seen the fate that awaits us if we do not succeed, the Black Witch admonished him, her voice coming through with crystalline clarity in his heart, and even though he agreed with all of her words as she said them, it was impossible to not feel like they were tainted with her charisma magic too.

“It’s really not a big deal, Nick,” Mr. Walters said as he patted Nick on the back. “Honestly, we all knew it was a possibility when we chose to fight alongside you. We all knew you might eventually have to just use that skill in a pinch without clearing it with everyone. From the beginning, we’ve all had that much faith in you.”

The Walters siblings nodded in agreement with their father.

“Personally, I don’t like thinking much during fights. The spell you use, it not only makes me stronger and faster, but it clears my head. It’s like a good battle meditation buff. Instantly gets me in the zone and ready to fight,” Lou threw in his point of view.

You all aren’t supposed to agree that easily, Nick wanted to grumble at them, but he couldn’t. He could only look at them, trying his best not to let his feeling of defeat cover his face.

“Boss, if you’re going to make me do something uncomfortable, I want you to at least ask me and compensate me first,” Topaz grumbled, the first dissenting voice in the group as she loaded her gun nearby. “I know you muscle heads are used to all the workouts, but even when I know it’s going to happen, it’s still not something I look forward to. Feels like my brain gets turned off, and I become just like Ms. Muscle Sister, Paladin of the Bench Press, over there.”

“Who are you calling ‘Ms. Muscle Sister’?” Adele demanded, mace in hand like she was going to smash Topaz over the head with it for the insult.

“Wait, are you talking about her or me?” Elizabeth asked, looking down at her chest. “Mine are bigger than hers . . . How come I am not the paladin of the bench press?”

“What do you mean, yours are bigger?” Adele looked at her chest, then at Elizabeths, and then back at hers.

“I can still bench a lot more than you. Why are you arguing?” Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “I’m clearly queen of the bench press.”

“Look, before you two argue, I just . . . I mean . . .” Topaz began falteringly, but then she looked over at Nick. “Fine. I don’t mind this time. I’m just saying…”

“It was weird . . .” Maria agreed with Topaz. “But I don’t know. You’re clearly more beat up about this than us, so there’s no point in being mean about it. Also . . . I don’t know . . .” Maria frowned as she looked at the ground. “I’d have died in that stupid crab dungeon if it wasn’t for you, Nick. I’d have died in the winter dungeon if it wasn’t for you. I feel like everywhere I go, I’m an inch away from dying because I’m not the hero I should be, the hero you told me I could be. It’s frustrating, so if you just skip over the niceties, I feel like it’s wrong, but I can’t bring myself to be mad about it.”

“That’s a good way to put it,” Allen said. “That’s why I said it’s no big deal. The only reason my mother is here is because this bastard never freaking listened to me when I didn’t consent to him blowing things up and calling in a terrorist threat.”

“It’s amazing when the guy denser than the anvil I work on always knows what to do somehow,” Reggie quipped as he looked over at Christina like he was expecting her to laugh too, but he only got a frown.

“Nick, is everything okay?” Seo-ah asked, squeezing his hand tightly as she looked at him. “You don’t seem okay.”

“I’m not,” Nick answered honestly, not wanting to ever hide anything from his companions. “I . . . I really need to ask you guys again . . . about how it felt when—”

“Avatar of the Goddess, I understand you need to talk about the battle with your companions, but our time is running short. If we don’t get moving now, we could fail in our mission,” the knight commander pleaded.

“Can you just wait a moment?” Nick asked the commander. “This is important.”

“Woah, when did you learn a that language?” Seo-ah blurted out, blinking in surprise.

“What?” Nick raised an eyebrow, confused about what Seo-ah was talking about. “They speak English, and I’m speaking English . . . right?” Yet, even as the words left his mouth, he realized that he hadn’t been speaking English earlier. In fact, he didn’t know what language he had spoken. But he knew from Seo-ah’s and his friends’ confused expressions that it wasn’t a language anyone in his group knew.

Instead, as he thought back on the words he had used and the words he had heard, he realized it was some Proto-Germanic language. However, before he could even ask how he knew the language, he could hear the Black Witch’s voice, once again penetrating his thoughts.

You’ve watched my dreams, and you’ve heard my voice. How would you not know my tongue? You and I are, after all, connected by the abyss of time, the disaster of relativity. It’s a closer bond than one you’ll ever have with your parents, children, or lovers.

These words caused Nick’s mind to lurch as he realized exactly how tight a grip she already had on him. A red flag began waving in his head, and he felt like every sense in his body was warning him of the danger ahead if he didn’t turn around and leave. However, before he could do that, the knight spoke again.

“Sir, please. You, the Avatar of the Goddess, must know how pressed for time we are. If we do not stop them now—if we do not destroy their supply train—the city will fall, and countless people will die. We must act now,” the knight commander pleaded. “We do not have time to wait.”

As much as Nick wanted to heed his panicked heart’s warnings, the knight’s words gripped hold of him. Even if he was scared of the Black Witch’s control, he was always even more concerned about people dying. To him, there were no innocents that deserved death and no people he wanted to see killed by monsters.

If you act confused, he’ll realize you’re not my avatar. Confidence and certainty are how fools rise to kingship while geniuses fall to squalor. You must act now. His troop is the only one we were able to sneak out. They are necessary to break the supply chain. If they fail, the long siege will let the ursine sappers destroy our ramparts and siege our lands. The casualties will be countless, the loss of human life immeasurable. If you act now though . . . think of the people you can save. Think of how much you can change the world . . . The Black Witch’s words pressed into him an even greater sense of urgency, but as he blinked a few times, trying to push her influence out of his mind, he found himself looking at Seo-ah.

“What is he saying?” Seo-ah asked. “What do they need?”

“There is a supply chain we have to disrupt. They’re saying that their base is under siege, and we need to help disrupt this supply chain in order to alleviate the siege. If we don’t, the sappers may take out their fortifications, and all the people inside will die,” Nick explained the situation to the others as quickly as he could, the sense of urgency within him growing even stronger.

“Then we have to go,” Mr. Walters quickly said, puffing out his chest. “We have to do the right thing. With our help, they will stand a much better chance.”

“I can handle the recon if you’re worried there will be too many enemies,” Allen assured Nick. “We can make a call when we see what we’re up against.”

“That’s right. With ViVi, we don’t have to go in blind,” Nick agreed. Then he paused. “I think. I’m not sure what type of stealth they may have at their disposal. Hold on, I’m all for going in, but let’s at least call back to the base first and let them know what’s going on.”

“Good idea,” Adele said while glaring at their alchemist. “They can send a priest here to help heal Topaz after I pay her back later for that muscle nun comment.”

Turning away from his two bickering companions, Nick reached for his comm, the small device crackling to life in the palm of his hand. “Kaylee?” he asked.

“Nick?” Kaylee's reply was tinged with static. “We're rallying the troops. The guild is—”

“Listen.” Nick hated to interrupt, but he was short on time. “This situation is crazy. The monsters to the south are a lot tougher than we thought, especially the ursines, and it seems there are a lot more than we expected. We’re about to press into a large battle, and it’d be great if you’d have the troops already organized and have some backup prepared for us.”

“Sorry, we’re still doing our best. The groups haven’t all come back yet, and we’ve had to fend off a few waves of wild fauna,” Kaylee replied. “It’s stopped us from leaving the base.”

Nick winced at the mention of defense. He hated thinking that his base was being attacked when he wasn’t there to help defend it.

“Are you going to be okay?” he had to ask, knowing there was no way he could prioritize helping others when his own people were under attack.

“We’ll be fine, and we’ll have those troops out and heading in your direction as soon as possible. I can see where you are on the map from your comm device,” Kaylee assured him. “You can trust me, boss. I won’t let you down.”

“Alright, then I’ll do that. I’ll trust you,” Nick assured her and himself as he nodded his head, looking up to see the others were in agreement. “We’ll trust you.”

“Thanks,” she replied after a brief pause as Nick put down the communication device and looked over at the knights.

“Alright,” he told them, his brain automatically switching to their odd Proto-Germanic language as he began speaking. “Take us to the supply chain. We’ll help you break that siege and save your people.”

“As expected of Our Lady’s Avatar. Command us, and we shall follow,” the leader of the knights replied.

“Then rise and lead the way. We move out now,” Nick told them, signaling as he did for Allen to send ViVi ahead of them.

“And Nick, if you have to use the cloak, don’t hesitate. We’re with you this time,” Seo-ah told him as they began their march. “We’re all with you.”

“Indubitably,” Mr. Walters said, patting Nick on the back. “We’re all trusting you here, every one of us.”

Trust . . . The word sat in his heart. He wanted to tell them more about his ill-fated connection with the Black Witch but didn’t feel like he had the time. He knew that if he wanted to earn their trust, then when these fights were over, when they’d saved these people, he needed to come clean about the day’s development and have an honest talk with them. For now, though, he could only do his best not to betray their faith in him. The same faith he had in them.