Another Me

I finally got home well after eight. Ms. Mirth had bought us snacks before taking us back, but I was still starving. The last person was we were waiting for was another boy. Because he was the most seriously injured out of all of us, it was close to six when he was finally released. He was still bandaged and would need follow up care. He also wasn’t a senior like the two sitting beside me but a junior who had rushed out to “help”. His fierce attack had downed one before being overwhelmed due to his lack of a decent defense.

My mom was sitting at the dinner table staring at the door as I walked in. I could tell she cried but wasn’t currently. She had called me around the same time the last kid had been wheeled out. It wasn't until I assured her repeatedly and switched to a video call so she could see I was ok, that she finally calmed down. Even so, I quickly found myself wrapped up in a hug as soon as I dropped my duffle bag.

She wrinkled her nose as she did. I had the gargoyle's orange-red blood still on me and it stank. She spun me around and gently pushed me toward the bathroom. "Go and shower. I'll reheat dinner. Then after you eat, you're going to tell me what’s going on with you." My mom's voice brooked no argument. So, I grabbed a change of clothes and was soon standing under the warm spray of the shower.

As I scrubbed away the grime, I decided to test the 'create water' spell. I hadn't used it yet because the book listed it as a low-level utility spell and casting it inside was bound to become messy. Water spells tended to use movements that were very similar to dancing. My arms snaked out and flowed like I had no bones while my hands gracefully danced between movements. Because it was a basic spell, I didn’t need to use my feet or body. So, I recited the words as I waved my arms and soon a ball of water appeared before me. It didn't stay there as gravity took ahold of it. And with a splash, my water ball disappeared down the drain. My mom was waiting for me, so I didn’t try again.

My mom had food on the table as I came back out wrapped in a robe. For that I was extremely grateful because I was starving. Her patience lasted until I finished eating twice what I normally would have but then she started asking, “What happened? When did you get magic? Why didn't you tell me?" She shot out questions like a machine gun and I didn't think she was going to stop anytime soon.

I finally interrupted, "Mom, I was going to tell you. In fact, a lot happened and if we hadn't been attacked, we would have already talked. Let me start at the beginning. About a week ago, I had a dream and woke up being able to cast a few spells." I paused trying to pick my words carefully, "I think it showed me the way to get more spells, but the process is... complicated." I had debated on starting with my “memory loss” but after knowing she worried about me not being able to cast, I wanted to start on a good note.

I planned on glossing over the dream and then move on to either the fight or me not knowing common sense things, but my mom disrupted my speech, "Really? That's ok. Your mother will help you."

The thought of my mother "helping me" made me shake my head and quickly add, "The process isn’t something you can help with.” I saw my mom raise her eyebrow at my hurried response. I was too nervous.

“Does it have anything to do with Victoria coming over every night?”

“Ahh umm no, not really.”

“And it’s ‘private’?”

“Yes.”

“I see.” She stared into my eyes, and I felt she knew everything I wasn’t saying. She continued to look at me and then abruptly changed the subject, “I’m going to schedule a doctor's appointment for you.”

I knew this was a stressful subject for both of us and was glad to let her. So, I replied, “There’s no need, I feel ok. The doctor said I will be fine in a few days.” The fact that I barely felt an injury that took months to heal normally was amazing to me.

“Not that kind of doctor’s visit.” What other kind of doctor was there in this world?

“I’m not crazy.” I quickly pleaded my innocence.

That reply caused her to giggle, “Stop joking around. I should be able to get you in tomorrow afternoon so come home right away. Now, get some sleep and we’ll discuss your magic tomorrow night.”

She left after a final goodnight but I was so confused. If it wasn’t to look at my injuries and it wasn’t a shrink, where were we going tomorrow?

***

School was livelier than it had been last week. The seniors were being treated as heroes even though they lost their game. The fact that they had interposed themselves and fought against the gargoyles had spread. Kids had posted videos of them fighting the monsters off. If there were ones of the junior and me, they weren’t on the school’s form like the others. The lack of coverage meant we weren’t mentioned in these stories which was fine by me. I only fought to stay alive. But while I was okay with blending into the crowd, I saw the junior in the hallway boasting how awesome he was. He’d seem more believable if he wasn’t still bandaged up. I ignored his antics and went to homeroom.

Hellcat TV had the results of all the games and events that happened over the weekend. What wasn’t mentioned was the attack. Such a big thing was completely ignored as if it never happened. I had waited for them to talk about it because I hadn’t forgotten what Ms. Mirth had said. That they were targeting something. I had wanted to know what it was so I could stay away.

Mr. Schmell was teaching us the vortex theory or “minimum Y value” today. I heard his excited voice saying, “If you can predict the path or ‘vortex’ of a spell’s attack then you can reduce the amount of energy you will need. Remember that the further away from you your spell manifests the more energy you’ll need to consume. Being able to save energy can win you the battle and even a small amount of energy can save your lives. Therefore, it is common practice even for attack spells to originate near the caster and not their target.” He continued to explain. ‘Y’ was always the spells point of origin while ‘X’ changed. Sometimes it was a target, something you needed to block, or something that was moving. The class was interesting but for whatever reason, He kept calling on me to answer questions.

During 'Harmonic Spell Casting' Miss Phillips would hover around my location and listen to my group singing. She introduced a couple of new songs for the class to learn but other than handing out the scores of music, she ignored the other groups. Mr. Stagnik wasn't much better and asked me to answer a few questions about earth magic. The saddest part was while I could answer questions like 'In order to produce a commercially viable oil deposit, there must be a source rock, a reservoir rock, a seal rock, and a ‘Trap' and 'Chemically, oil and gas are both ‘Hydrocarbons', but when asked what 'Earth magic encompasses ' I didn't answer correctly. And because it was such a basic question, my wrong answer caused the class to laugh and Mr. Stagnik to frown. Seriously though, who named it earth magic when it included crystals, plants, and metals as well.

I left class feeling like everybody in this world was picking on me today. Even the kid that gave me the first letter showed up and I had to give him the “I’m not ready to date” excuse I had come up with. Getting letters wasn’t uncommon. Each of the girls on the cheerleading squad got them and didn’t take them seriously. It was more of a bragging thing. I just didn’t want to deal with it. Thankfully, my day quickly reversed. Mr. Richard from World History ignored me, and my friends filled me in on all the gossip as Ann pushed all her extra snacks onto my plate during lunch. The biggest one was that the senior cheerleaders were going to pay off the bet with the other school. Rumor had it that they bet a night with the MVP of the winning team so one of their members was on the chopping block. As to how that was decided, it wasn't my concern. I was just glad our squad wasn't that stupid.

My next class was with Mr. Rogers. As soon as I walked in, he looked over at me and said, “You’re injured. Get changed and go to the library for the rest of the week.” He didn't get within three feet of me, as he informed me. When I left, I could see a look of relief on his face and one of distress on Carl's. Carl must have wanted to talk to me about modeling, but I couldn't stay. I was both relieved that I could finally go to the library and mad that I couldn't practice taekwondo. By the time I got there half the class was over, but I still looked for books on defensive magics and willpower strengthening techniques so that tomorrow I could study them.

Miss Vellum acted normal during my English class but Mr. Montgomery in the Physics, 'Natural Laws and How to Shape Them to Your Will' used me as a test subject and wanted me to alter one of my spells. He obviously heard about me casting and once I mentioned my earth spell, he gave me the density formula to try enhancing it. I had to stand in front of the class and try changing it. The formula wasn't complex, just volume multiplied by the density equaled my mass.

A little nervous, it was because I was unsure what would happen. Could I even change a spell I had? I never tried. I envisioned my mass increasing but not the volume of rocks I would create and then cast. My skin turned stone gray in seconds. I looked like a weathered statue in a white dress and could barely move. It wasn't that my skin wasn't flexible but that my arms were so heavy that I lacked the strength to do anything with them. They hung uselessly at my sides. I was just happy I didn't fall over and flash everybody.

I let the spell go and my skin turned back to its original flesh tones. I cast again and pictured the mass being normal but shrank the volume to be just my left leg. It petrified and refused to budge. I let it go and looked at Mr. Montgomery. "Very good, I see you understand the basic principles of shifting attributes. You can sit back down." He seemed happy with my results but from what I read in Stephanie's books; it wasn't that hard to do.

Mr. Montgomery called a few other students and I got to see other students using formulas to change their spells before the class bell rang. On the way to my final class, I got a message from my mom that read, [Made appointment, come home right away]. I was a bit curious what she had planned. After a night, she wasn't as upset as I expected her to be. While not happy, she acted normal. If anything, she seemed resigned and a little helplessness as she made me breakfast.

I didn't want to say the wrong thing, so I just sent, [I'll take the bus after school] and sent a message to let Janet, Ann, and Victoria that I was going home early before putting away my phone.

My mom told me to wash up and then took me to the "doctors" which turned out to be a gynecologist. It wasn't that I didn't know they existed, it was just that I only knew they checked a girl’s privates. Other than that, I had no idea what to expect. My mom escorted me in and filled out the paperwork for me and then I was taken to the examination room. The nurse that brought me back had a professional smile on her face and handed me a medical gown. She must have seen my confusion because she said, "Is this your first time here? Just take off all your clothes and put on the gown. You can get on the table and the doctor will be in shortly." She gave me a reassuring smile that was more real than the one she had prior and continued, "Just relax and follow her directions. It'll be over quickly. I'll leave you to get changed."

I had gotten physicals before and figured how bad could this be? So, I got undressed and put on the gown. The back gapped but the temperature was set so I wasn't uncomfortable. A tall older woman came in after knocking on the door. She was carrying a clipboard and a pair of glasses swung on a cord that was around her neck every time she took a step. She closed the door behind her and walked in. She greeted me in a friendly tone, "Hello Miss Bonds, my name is Doctor Linson and I'll be doing your exam today. I understand your mom filled in the information. I'm going to ask you a few questions before I begin. You can be honest; all your answers are confidential."

She took out her clipboard and in a more serious voice asked her first question, “Do you have irregular periods?” But I didn’t know. Stephanie never wrote about her periods, and I never had one.

I ended up giving a generic answer of, “I think they’re regular” but even I heard the confusion in my tone.

She marked something down on the paper and asked, “How bad are your period cramps and do you have any uncomfortable itching?” Was that even a thing?

“I can’t remember ever having a painful period or any itching.” Well, I couldn’t.

“Are you having sex?”

“…” I know she said it was private and confidential but being asked so straightforwardly I blanked on what to say.

“Stephanie, you can trust me. I can tell by your reaction that the answer is probably yes. Are you using condoms or another form of birth control?”

I decided to spill the beans and answer truthfully, “It was just once and it just kind of happened.” Which was a nice way of saying I was drugged out of my mind and didn’t care. But now that she brought up birth control, the thought of becoming pregnant crossed my mind. I hadn’t ever thought of myself as a real girl, so I never thought about it. I began to worry. I didn’t want kids, much less give birth to one! This was horrible.

“It’s ok. Why don’t you get on the examining table, and I will make sure everything is alright.” I did and then she added, “now put your legs in the stirrups.” Once I followed her directions, she draped a sheet over my legs and let me relax for a minute. I didn’t. This was already more complicated than some old doctor grabbing my sac and telling me to cough. I tensed up even more when Doctor Linson moved a rolling table over with a few tools on it. A metal gun like tool that caught my eye. Its long “muzzle” kind of looked like a duck bill and I could only imagine what that was going to be used for.

She put on rubber gloves and said, “I’m now going to examine the vulva and labia for abnormalities, such as irritation, swelling, redness, and cysts. Spread your knees apart, try to relax as much as possible, and breathe deeply. Try not to tense your muscles.” She waited for my acknowledgement and then used her fingers to check me. It wasn’t sexual but having anybody touching me down there, kind of was. I felt awkward. I stared at the ceiling hoping she’d finish sooner.

“I’m now going to check your cervix.” Because I was looking up, I didn’t see her grab the metal duck billed gun thing. I just felt a cold object sliding into me. It was uncomfortable and I heard her saying, “Try to relax” as she pushed it into me. Once it was in, she did something and I felt it swell in me. There was a pressure and some discomfort, but it was brief. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die at this point. Why was having a woman stare up into me even a thing?

Her cheerful voice cut off my thoughts, “Ok, everything looks good. I am going to do a pap smear.” And then I felt a sharp pinch down there, that caused me to shift away from her. What the hell? “See that wasn’t so bad.” She removed the device and continued, “I need to perform a bimanual exam to check the health of your ovaries and uterus and you’ll be all done.”

As she talked, she took a tube of lubricant and started applying it to her gloved fingers. I began to wonder where she was planning on sticking them and the thought of running away crossed my mind. Before I could put my thoughts to action, her right-hand fingers pushed into my vagina while her left-hand started pushing on my stomach. I was a little relieved because lube in my mind was used for a different hole.

She pulled out and tossed the gloves into a medic bin. “You’re all done. I don’t see anything you need to worry about. If you haven’t had your period since you’ve had sex, I recommend a urine test to see if you’re pregnant. I can do that test here but I need to send out the pap smear. I’ll let you get dressed. There is a sample cup here if you feel you need the other test.”

She let me get out of the stirrups before leaving the room. I got dressed and grabbed the cup. I needed to know. So, when Doctor Linson came back there was a cup waiting for her. I won’t go into how much harder it was to get that sample as a girl. It just was. She took the cup without saying anything and came back a little while later, “It’s still a little early to be 100% sure but the test shows that you’re not pregnant. I won’t mention this but if you don’t get your period, you should take a home test two weeks after it was due. I’m going to call your mother in to go over the general results and how to take the prescription.”

She left again before I could ask her what she was talking about. Soon, I was sitting with my mother as the doctor went over my results. The “prescription” turned out to be for birth control pills and the real reason I thought my mom brought me here. I wasn’t sure if I had to go through the exam or not to get them, but I was sure that her end goal was those pills. We left the doctor’s office and went back to the apartment. She handed the bag to me and said, “I’m giving you these so you can protect yourself. I don’t want to. It’s just that I think it has something to do with your new magic. Being able to cast will keep you alive. I couldn’t live with myself if I denied you trying to get tougher, and something happened to you. This world is dangerous, and you need to be prepared. Just promise me you won’t do anything against your morals. Don’t pursue power if it makes you sad or have regrets.”

She really did know everything. “I’ll be careful. I’m going to test it once and if it doesn’t work, I’ll give up on my idea. It’s too complicated.” I didn’t say a lot of what was on my mind because nothing I said would make her happier.

She nodded to herself, gave me a tight hug, and replied with a little melancholy in her voice, “I understand. You can test it, just be safe. I love you.” She released me from her hug and said, “Go take the first pill. You don't have to wait for your period with this version.”

I left to get ready for bed, while she went to her room. When I came back with a glass of water, I could hear her talking on her phone. Her voice was low enough that I wouldn't be able to hear her unless I got really close to her door. I didn't but went back to my room and took out the birth control pills. They were in a plastic sleeve and when I pulled them out, I noticed that they were green and had a strange shimmer to them. Without much thought, I popped the first one out of its protective cover and tossed it into my mouth. With a swig of water, I swallowed.

It wasn't until I changed and laid down that the pain began. It started in my belly and spread outward. It went from annoying to agony in a matter of moments and I broke out a cold sweat. "Chemical inhibitor detected, Analyzing... DNA Blocker Detected... Purging..." As the robotic voice ended the pain that came quickly, left just as fast. I looked over at the desk where the package of birth control sat. Could I not take them? I closed my eyes and decided to think about it tomorrow.