An Egg’s New Job

Life and work has been kinda dragging on for the last while. The mirror is even more painful, and I just feel listless. Wake up, go to work, do work, leave, come home, play video games, rinse and repeat. I am just sitting at a table by myself during lunch one day. When I see a figure in front of me. I look up to see Chloe.

“Heya Cutie! Like how are ya doing?” She bubbly says as she sits down.

I look up and sigh “It’s been ok, can’t complain about anything. Just surviving you know?”

“Actually, like, not really. I gave that up like a long time ago. I decided to be who I really was, and I became, like much happier. It’s fun being airheaded.”

“Sadly I don’t think that would work for me. It’s not like I can change who I am.” I start to stand up “sorry, my lunch is over. Thanks for trying, it helps a bit.” I head back over to my desk. I continue my work and I see Chloe leave the break room and head back down to her desk. She sits in the same aisle as Luna and Chloe. Just another thing that separates me from the other three, I think wistfully. But that is just the way it is. I can hear the three of them whispering to each other, but I ignore it as I work.

The clock hits 5 and I stand up to leave work. I turn down the aisle I am in and I see the passage is blocked by everyone.

Lily steps forward “We are having a party at my place, and you are coming.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I would just ruin…”

“Shhhhhhhh. Z. You are coming, you don’t have a choice. You’ve been out of it for the last couple of weeks. Normally you talk with us and join our fun during work. You’ve distanced yourself and we aren’t having it. Come on.” Lily puts her arm around mine and marches me out to her car.

I allow myself to be marched to her car. I guess social interaction is probably for the best. Luna opens the car door for me and I sit down. I try to psych myself up, this should be fun. But why do I feel more hollow than I ever used to be?

We get to Luna’s house again and I get out of the car. I wait for Luna to get out before heading to the door with her. We move into the living room and wait for everyone else to show up. After a few minutes I realize I am thirsty “Ummm Luna? Do you mind if I grab a drink or some water or something?”

“Oh ya, the kitchen is that way. Grab whatever you want, make yourself at home.” She points through a doorway. Luna then mutters something I can’t quite hear.

I head in that direction and find the fridge. I open the door to the fridge trying to find something to drink. I am surprised to see 5 jars of pickles. I find canned iced tea and head back. I can see that everyone else has arrived as well. “Luna? Why do you have a metric ton of pickles?” I question as I get back close to where I was sitting.

All of the girls just laugh in response. Before Chloe answers “Well, it's just that pickles are, like, amazing. Right Lulu?”

Luna cringes slightly “Yes pickles just hit the spot sometimes. And please don’t call me that. You know I hate that name, and that character. That little yordle shit anyways.”

“Wow, you play League? I have a very love/hate relationship with that game. It can be fun with people I know. I am not that good at it, and the player base is super salty. That and it isn’t really my type of game.” I say with just a hint of frustration.

“What is your type of game then Z?” I hear Lily ask.

Quickly I respond “Oh that is easy. Mass effect. I love the blend of RPG and shooter elements. I have played many times. I always say I am going to do something besides Inflitrator. But it never happens. Something about playing a badass sniper chick, dead even before you know there is a threat.”

A smutter of giggles is the first response I hear, before Alice says “You play FemShep?”

“Oh of course, the voice acting is better, and if I am going to stare at a butt for hours and hours on end, I would rather it be a shapely attractive butt.”

“Alright, lets get this party started” Luna says a bit forcefully over more giggles. She heads towards the kitchen with a little bit of speed in her step.

I am so confused, why are they all giggling at everything I say? I don’t have much time to think about it as Luna quickly gets back with some shot glasses and liquor. Luna quickly lines up the glasses, pours the booze, and we all take some shots. I feel the whiskey burning through my veins loosening everything up.

We all chat about work for a couple of hours, just venting about stupid people and computers. All the while continuing to drink our cares away. After downing her 5th shot, Chloe pipes up “like, let's play some strip poker! Now I, like, know some people won’t want to strip, like, nekkid yet. But we can at least go down to, like, our panties right?”

“But, but, I’m not currently wearing panties.” I slur out having drank 6 shots of my own.

Luna slides over next to me saying “What do you mean currently?”

“Ummmm. I bought some for Halloween… they were surprisingly comfortable.” I drunkenly blurt out quickly growing bright red in the process.

Lily interrupts before Alice can question the statement. “We can unpack that one later, there was talk of some poker?” Lily then takes some cards out of seemingly nowhere and drops them on the table and shuffles. I join in because the booze has robbed me any sense of forethought or inhibition. Plus these girls are all hot as fuck, and what red blooded human wouldn’t want to play strip poker with them?

The game progresses getting more and more competitive as it goes along. Everyone is slowly losing pieces of clothing. But I seem to be losing them quicker. At this point all I have left is my pants. I am holding a 3 and a 5, I normally would have folded but I had “Big Blind” so if I forfeit my pants would disappear, and the river dropped me into a low straight. I continue the hand. After the flop we see the Jack of Diamonds appear. Then for the 5th and final card the 4 of spades. I drop my hand confident in my straight. When I see Chloe giggle in response and drop a pair of jacks, giving her a full house. Beating my straight and leaving me pantsless.

“Well I guess that means I am out. Good game everyone.” I mumble as I attempt to get out of my pants.

Off to my right I hear Luna “Wait, wait, wait, I have an idea. You are a few pieces of clothes ahead of the rest of us. What if you continued playing, but for each hand you lose you put on another set of clothing, from what others have lost. But the person who you lose to, gets to decide what you put on?”

The girls quickly nod in agreement. “Fuck it, lets go, it will be more fun than watching at least”. I rejoin the table and the game resumes. We continue to drink and play for a while. I am losing harder than I was previously. If I were sober I would think it is a conspiracy against me. Everyone but Chloe and I are out, she is surprisingly good at poker, she has on a shirt, and I am wearing a smattering of clothing from everyone. Some pieces are looser than others, but all decently fit.

“Hey Z, like how about, like double or nothing? If I, like, win this hand you allow me to make your face, like really, nice and pretty to join the pretty clothes. If you win, like, we can hide in one of the rooms and, like, I will remove what is beneath the shirt as well.”

Being too drunk to think of the consequences I quickly agree. Chloe occasionally wears tight shirts to work, and is very shapely.

The deck is shuffled and I get dealt my hand and it is a 4 and 10 of hearts. A terrible hand, but since it is the two of us I have to play it out. The flop is played onto the table, the ace and 5 of hearts, and a 7 of spades. I start to get excited since I am just one card away from a flush. I can barely hold my excitement as the turn is dropped onto the table, it is the 10 of spades. A slight bit of fear is now hiding my excitement. If this card isn’t a heart, I will have a measly pair to show for this whole thing. A card is burned and the river is dropped onto the table, and with it my hopes and dreams. Jack of spades. My only hope now is that Chloe has a worse hand than I do. I look her way and see a massive grin. “Fuck.” I flip my cards to show that I have nothing, and Chloe slowly does the same. The first card is the 8 of spades, and her final card is the 9 of spades. She managed to draw into a straight flush to finish out the game.

I feel her hand pull on mine as she giggles away. I am too shocked to say or do anything. She takes me upstairs into one of the rooms mentioning that “sometimes I stay in this room so I have my supplies here”. She sits me down on a chair in front of the vanity and gets to work on my face. Despite being drunk she still seems to know what she is doing. It doesn’t take long before she spins the chair so I can see myself in the mirror. It is all bright pinks and whites to match her own looks. “Doesn’t this look, like, way better cutie? Luna did a good job for Halloween, but like, I think this suits you so much better. But we can get you proper clothing later. The office needs another bimbo after all.” Again before I am able to think of much of a response she drags me by the hand back downstairs.

Everyone is waiting patiently in the living room waiting to see the results, when we turn the corner I hear giggles and compliments. “Wow she is super cute like that!” and “Z does look good, but I am not sure the office could handle another one of you Chloe.” I sit down and join in on the fun. We all continue to chat for a while as the clock ticks on.

People are starting to go to bed and I go to reach for my phone. I hear Luna say “Don’t worry about uber you can stay here for the night. Come with me, there is a spare room.” I follow Lily back upstairs into the room. She sits down on the bed and gestures for me to do the same. I sit next to her and we continue to talk for a bit. At some point she puts her hand on my leg and starts rubbing it, gently up and down. I stop responding and just look down at her hand. Then back up to her face and I can see her intently staring at me. “Z I am going to kiss you unless you say no. Normally I would want you to be sober so you were fully consenting, but I can’t wait any longer.” She then leans over and kisses me. I fall backwards onto the bed and she follows me, keeping her mouth on mine. I clumsily move my arms around hers to embrace into the kiss. She allows me to, and does the same. We lay there kissing for a few minutes, I can only think I must have died and gone to heaven. At some point between one of the kisses I yawn deeply. Luna just pats me on the head and cuddles with me as we both fall asleep. My last thought of the night is that she must be uncomfortable because her clothes seem to be bulging near my lower back.