LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 93: Siegfried’s True Feelings
As I watched Althea vanish into the closed gate, feeling like she was being accompanied by the fairy Ciel's voice saying, "Don't worry, leave it to me," I looked around, but felt nothing.
Surely, she had followed Althea. Leaning against the gatepost of the academy, I slumped down.
"...How pathetic..."
I muttered involuntarily.
Just to escort her to the academy... If possible, I wanted to accompany her all the way to the Headmaster's room.
Sigh...
I sighed as I looked up at the sky.
The King said, "Only the Pope and the Headmaster are waiting there." And I was taught the spell to get there. If I chanted the spell in front of the academy gate, the path would open.
If the spell opened the way, I intended to follow.
But what was the reality? I couldn't see anything, feel anything, yet Althea could see the "path." Thinking about it made me feel a little uneasy.
Althea might be taken far away by the Pope and the Headmaster, triggering a sense of anxiety within me.
Shaking my head,
"...No, this kind of thinking won't do... As someone who will eventually rule a kingdom, I must have a fair and broad perspective... Moreover, it's a turbulent time with stars gathering, and even though we're from the royal lineage, cooperation with the Illumi religion is necessary..."
Telling myself that, I tried to think of something brighter.
"Come to think of it..."
The other day, when I was appointed as her escort knight, His Majesty mentioned something that bothered him.
―When I was seven years old, Althea went to that room through the 'secret garden.'―
It was around the time when I saw a fairy kissing a two-colored rose in the secret garden.
"Was that really Althea after all...?"
I had thought about it several times.
But all I knew was that the girl wore a dress the same color as her white-silver hair and the two-colored rose. Since I couldn't see her face properly, I couldn't be sure.
The first time I exchanged greetings with Althea face to face was when I was twelve years old.
Until then, even if she was Regalus's sister, I had thought she was just another woman around me. But as Regalus said, she was indeed different.
Her hair color seemed to change between white-silver and platinum blonde depending on the sunlight... I thought. And above all, I never felt any disgust towards her from the beginning, which was strange.
The biggest difference was... I had absolutely no interest in her.
On the contrary, she seemed more interested in things like horseback riding and swordsmanship training. Of course, most young ladies didn't prefer such things. Some might learn horseback riding as a refined skill, but they wouldn't visit the stables. Because they smelled "like animals."
But she would come to the stables and talk to the horses with a smile.
"At that time, I thought... if the fairy girl really existed, I wished she would be like Althea... I never thought it was really her though... Father also has his moments."
I chuckled as I murmured.
Thinking about Althea warmed my heart.
Seeing Althea's smile made me happy.
As I felt my face naturally break into a smile, I suddenly remembered the fear of that day.
That day, when Althea's magic was sealed...
"Come to think of it... I didn't feel alive at that time..."
When I thought Althea, whose magic was sealed, might never wake up again, my body moved on its own.
Even if it was a violation of academy rules, I couldn't help but see Althea's face.
Even if it was taboo, I couldn't help but use the royal family's secret magic.
The feeling of not being able to sit still or stand still at that time, I understand now.
"...I... I 'like' Althea..."
I've always treasured Althea as if she were my own sister.
But the quality of that cherished bond differs between Princess Liliauge and Althea.
If Liliauge were to introduce me to a man she liked... I'd investigate him, of course, but if there were no issues, I'd genuinely offer my blessings. But if it were Althea... I doubt I could genuinely bless her from the bottom of my heart... Probably.
...Honestly, due to the fear instilled in me from frequent encounters with "women" since childhood, I always believed that loving a woman was out of the question for me, that connecting with someone's heart was impossible. But with Althea...
If I were to tell His Majesty, he would undoubtedly be delighted to propose an engagement to Lord Monclair for me. But I don't want just a formal engagement. Like my father and mother, I want to truly connect with her heart. To do that, I have to convey these feelings to Althea...
"I don't know what to say..."
I'm at a loss. If I were to confess my feelings and Althea were to reject me...? I find myself thinking it might be better to maintain our current relationship rather than risk breaking it.
Neither my father nor my mother would be suitable for consultation. Naturally, neither would my sister-loving brother Regalus. Oliver and Cartlis... no, they wouldn't work either. They would undoubtedly make things worse. Especially Oliver...
Thinking that far, I snap back to reality.
"...What am I thinking...? First and foremost, I should pray for Althea's safety..."
Indeed, no matter how much I yearn, it's meaningless if she doesn't return. Moreover, it's certain that the two leaders of the Illumi religion and Holy Sacrament Academy are concerned about Althea.
I look up at the sky again.
It's another perfect day with not a single cloud in sight. It's hard to believe that the stars are moving in such an unsettling way.
And so, I step away from the gatepost of the academy and stand up, facing the closed gate.
I silently close my eyes, hoping only for Althea's safe return.
