LIGHTNOVELONLINE 5. How Very Cis (Tess)
After all the revelations and confessions back and forth, Amy and I were finally both quiet again.
My mind and my emotions were all in turmoil as I tried to sort myself out, and tried to get my head around the whole situation.
So she'd been a guy, or at least she thought she was a guy up until midnight last night. She claimed she wasn't trans but the fact that she refused to tell me her deadname and looked nauseous at the idea of he/him pronouns left me doubting.
Then when I asked if she wanted to be turned back to her old self she completely broke down into tears, which pretty much convinced me she was trans. She was probably in denial about it, until I put that question to her and forced her to confront her feelings.
Meanwhile I was still dealing with a boat-load of guilt over what happened. I didn't know what I was doing, I was messing around with stuff that I didn't understand. I tried to summon a Goddess like my granny wrote about, and instead I got a confused trans girl from Toronto.
And somehow my summoning spell turned her into a girl. And changed her clothes and ID, and made her roommate not notice anything was different. I hadn't forgotten how my phone seemed to dial her number on its own this morning either.
It all seemed too much. Nothing in granny's book mentioned that kind of power. That might have been stuff the Goddess could do, like granny wrote about getting a wish granted. I had to assume a Goddess could do all kinds of miraculous things.
Then there were all the coincidences. Like granny's Goddess had silver hair and purple eyes, and so did Amy. Or at least, so did Amy's video-game character. And I was convinced the Goddess's name was Amethyst, which again matched Amy's character. So how or why did Amy get transformed into the real-life equivalent of her character?
"Hey Amy?" I asked as I looked at her.
She'd been sort of staring off into space, maybe daydreaming or maybe she'd been lost in thought like me. She blinked and looked back at me, "Yeah?"
"I was wondering about that game character you showed me on your phone. I'm not a gamer so I don't really know much about that stuff, but is the character something you create, or is it random, or how's that work? What I mean is, who decides what the character looks like?"
"Oh," she was blushing slightly again as she replied, "It varies from game to game. Some have lots of customization options, some don't. Or sometimes you have to play the game to unlock options. Gods and Gorgons is pretty much wide open in terms of character design. So um, that's how I designed the character."
I could tell she was a little embarrassed about it, but I wanted to clarify what she said. "So you picked the silver hair, and the purple eyes? And did you pick the name too?"
Her blush grew a little brighter as she nodded, "Yeah. I um, I don't know I just like the look? I try to keep the same look in all my games. And um, I usually use the same name too. Like with the violet eyes, the name Amethyst just seems to fit?"
"It's a good look." I said with a warm smile. "Sort of exotic. And you're right, the name really fits."
From her blush and the way she kept hesitating I had a feeling the character was a bit of wish-fulfilment on her part. So while the name and the body were from a video-game character, I had a strong suspicion it's what she wanted for herself.
That didn't bring me any closer to answering the real mysteries, but it was certainly an interesting coincidence that her chosen name and desired appearance both matched things granny wrote about her Goddess.
"Sorry," I said as I looked at her again. "I have one more question about that game. In the picture you showed me, your character was holding a wood staff. What sort of stuff did she do? Like did she fight with the staff, or was that some sort of wizard thing for casting spells?"
Amy replied, "She's a cleric. She can fight with the staff, but it's also enchanted to aid with spell-casting. She um, channels the divine magic of her Goddess through it."
"Ah," I nodded. It felt like another piece of the puzzle fell into place. Or at least, the number of coincidences just hit critical mass. "Do you always play a cleric?"
"No," Amy shook her head. "I mean, some games don't use that term. And some games it's not really applicable? When I'm with a party, I usually take the healer role? But I still have attack options, it's not like an army medic where you don't fight. Why are you so interested in the game?"
I hesitated. If she was still in denial about being trans she might react badly to what I was thinking, and I didn't want to make her break down again. And it was all speculation anyways, I really didn't have anything solid.
In the end I sighed, "I'm just grasping at straws I guess. Trying to figure out if there's a connection between you and the Goddess I was trying to summon. I had an idea. Probably silly, probably wrong. But you got changed to look like your game character right? And your game character looked sort of like how granny described the Goddess? I was wondering if you were some kind of cleric or intermediary for her. Like the Goddess apparently had a wood staff, and I remembered your character had one in the picture you showed me?"
Amy frowned, then shrugged. "It's just a game though. My character's a cleric but I'm not. I'm not religious, I don't even go to church or anything like that. And like I said, I don't always play cleric characters."
"Yeah," I sighed. "Like I said, the idea was probably silly and probably wrong."
Amy nodded slowly, and both of us were quiet again for a while.
After another minute or two I broke the silence again. "All the stuff that changed, did it all happen at once? Like you said all your clothes were different, and your ID and everything? Did that happen last night? Or I guess, was it already different when you woke up?"
I added, "The stuff you had on when you appeared here last night, the U-of-T shirt and the jeans and boxers, I'm assuming that's what you were wearing when the summoning spell grabbed you?"
She blushed, but nodded. "Yeah, that's what I was wearing. And no, when I first woke up this morning I'm positive my clothes were all still normal. My mirror's on the inside of my closet door, when I opened the door to look in the mirror I'd have noticed if my clothes were different then. It wasn't till later on that I realized they'd changed."
"Was that before or after we talked on the phone?" I asked next.
Amy's expression shifted to a thoughtful frown for a few moments. "It was after. You called while I was looking at myself in the mirror. Then I freaked out and got back into bed. Then my roommate came in and acted like he didn't notice I'd suddenly become a girl. I called you back. And after that, I realized my clothes had changed."
She added, "I don't know when my ID changed. It wasn't till after I was dressed that I started searching for my wallet and keys, then I found that purse with all my stuff in it."
"Ok," I said as I tried putting together a bit of a timeline. "So the first thing was around midnight I tried to summon a Goddess, but somehow summoned you instead. When you appeared here you'd already changed into a real-life version of your video-game character. Then you fainted, and broke the circle and returned to your home. And when you returned home, you didn't change back to your original self."
I continued, "Second thing, around nine this morning my phone came on and dialled your number all by itself. Until then I had no idea who you are or how to get in touch with you."
Amy looked surprised when I mentioned that, she obviously didn't know about it. Though I wondered how she thought I got her number.
She didn't interrupt so I continued, "Third thing, at approximately quarter after nine your roommate spoke with you but somehow didn't react to how you'd changed. Either he didn't see it, or he thought you always looked like that. And fourth thing, some time after nine-thirty your clothes all changed to fit your new body. And potentially a fifth thing, your ID changed. Or that might have happened along with one of the earlier occurrences, we don't know."
"What do you mean your phone called me by itself?" Amy finally asked.
I shrugged, "You were only here in my living-room for about a minute last night. You appeared, looked around surprised, then fainted and you were gone. I had no idea who you were or where you'd come from. I mean, I guessed you weren't from too far away because of the U-of-T logo on your shirt? But seriously, I had nothing. I cleaned up, put the furniture back where it belonged and went to bed."
"Then this morning I was sitting here looking through granny's book again trying to figure out what happened last night. My phone was on the coffee table, when the screen came on by itself. The phone app opened, and a number appeared and it dialled you. I picked it up just in time to hear you answer, and I recognized your voice from last night."
Amy frowned and ran her fingers through her hair, "So what are you getting at? Like with the list, the four different things? Are you saying they're all connected? Or are you saying they're all separate?"
I thought for a few moments then replied "I think they're all separate. And actually I think I should re-number them. One was my summoning grabbed you instead of the Goddess. Two was you somehow transformed to look like your game character. I think those have to be separate, because when you broke the circle the summoning ended and you went back home but you didn't change back to normal. Then three was my phone calling you on its own, four was the thing with your roommate, and five was your clothes and ID all changing."
"So what's it mean?" she asked. "And if you're right, then I'm assuming you only did the first thing? So who did the other four things?"
I grimaced, "This is just a guess, and might be way off base, but I'm wondering if my summoning somehow got the Goddess's attention or woke Her up, but instead of helping me out maybe She decided to help you instead? Except if that's the case, then why wouldn't She tell you or contact you or something."
Amy was frowning again, then shook her head "Why though? There wasn't any connection between us before that. And I'd certainly never heard of this goddess person. So why would your summoning get her involved with me?"
"It's a huge long-shot," I replied, "But maybe She somehow sensed an affinity with you? I mean, you obviously like the name Amethyst right? You said you use it for most of your game characters? Same with your looks. You said you try to make all your characters look like that. So that name and that appearance has a strong emotional connection for you."
I added, "And this is probably just coincidence but at the exact moment I summoned her, you were playing a cleric character right? So you had a character with an appearance and name you had a strong emotional connection with, and that character was a cleric acting in service of a Goddess in the game? I don't know, maybe I woke Her up but you got Her attention."
Amy shook her head again "So then what? She's just following me around using magic in some blind effort to try and be helpful? It's not like I'm asking for any of these things to..."
Her voice trailed off as a number of expressions flickered across her face. Finally her eyes widened as her cheeks went red and her expression settled on a blend of shock, guilt, and angst.
"Amy?" I asked warily. "What is it? What's wrong?"
She looked anxious as she gulped, "The last three things on your list? I actually did ask for them. When I was first looking at myself in the mirror, I remembered seeing you last night and I figured you'd know what was going on. So I wanted to get in touch with you. And a minute later you called me."
After a pause she continued, "Then when my roommate walked in, I was freaking out and didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was happening to me so I didn't want to discuss it with him. I wished we could put that conversation off till later? And he didn't notice anything wrong, then he left me alone."
"And the clothes," she shook her head slowly. "None of my clothes would fit so I thought, why couldn't whatever happened to me also happen to my clothes and stuff? Next thing I knew my entire wardrobe had changed."
I almost had to suppress a smile. She's not trans, but instead of wishing she'd turn back into a guy she wished all her clothes would change to fit her new body. Right, I'm sure that's how every cis guy would respond after waking up in a female body.
Instead I managed to keep a straight face as I focused on the actual problem. "So maybe my theory's not that big a long-shot after all? Maybe the Goddess is paying attention to you, and helping you out when you need it."
Amy didn't respond right away, she just had a thoughtful nervous frown on her face.
