Chapter 20: Prayer for Loving Sorrow
“Hm? What… is that? An ‘animal’? Well, I guess it looks kind of cute, but those hairy appendages remind me a little bit of Catastrophe. Are you sure you want to create something that resembles that mean old grump? Mm, if you’re sure. Since you love it that much, I will too. Forever and always.”
- ?
———
The Knight
The Polus Astrologians carefully transport the Knight onto a strange resemblance of a carriage with colossal scale akin more to a fully-sized building rather than a transport for travel. Steel-lined halls greet its view as the being persists with its feigned act of unconsciousness, and multiple rooms scattered about contain a puzzling array of contraptions and appliances of unknown use. What draws its curiosity, however, are the large flaming balls of light attached to the ceiling and providing illuminance to the rest of the quaint interior of silver and copper. I cannot feel the breath of Creation stirring in this place, so what exactly is calling forth those heatless flames? How very interesting.
It is inevitable for new innovation and technology to spring forth from humanity over the course of its slumbers, but this particular age is one filled with fascinating curios. No matter how much time passes, the joy of discovery remains a small, flickering wisp: a remnant of a being once enraptured, and perhaps even still, with the beauty of change. The Knight must adapt to the shifting periods or else it will be left behind as a relic of old.
Eventually, the Polus enter a room with simple furnishing. The arrangement bears a resemblance to that of an inn’s quarter, yet an air of greater sophistication settles throughout as it is set upon the bedding and given leave to rest in the privacy of solitude.
An anxious slap hits the side of its helm. Aegis pokes his head out of the world’s veil and blubbers with hushed tears as he continuously beats upon the Knight with anxious blows in an attempt to revitalize the motionless body. His efforts hurt not, but it is a rather amusing sight.
“Fear not, Aegis. I am well,” it says, setting the baby atop the soft mattress and letting him explore the newfound wonder. “It was necessary for me to suffer such abuse if we are to keep this identity hidden.”
He does not listen to its words; rather, the room’s contents prove to be of more pressing matter to the child. His current query is that of a clock, ticking away as he claps his hands with amused gurgles. Hm, kindred souls we are—united in a shared curiosity.
Aegis is not the only one who wishes to explore this new age. Perhaps an expedition to the neighboring chambers is in order.
“Would you like to see more?” it asks. The child shouts out in glee - much to the Knight’s panic - and bounces about with a restless energy begging to be released. Unfortunately, release he cannot for some time.
“Not at this moment. We must wait for the day to set.” Aegis turns around and glares at it with a look that can only be described as loathing and scoots himself over to the corner, brooding with a darkness only one who has suffered immeasurable heartbreak as can.
Time ticks away. The sky outside the window transforms into a flowing canvas of amber and bright pink until it, too, descends under the cover of dusk. The child watches the outside pass by, star-speckled irises shining in enamorment as he awaits for the promised time to come, but the plights of fatigue are still yet a challenge for one so young: His face droops; his eyes fall; slumber takes hold, gently cradling him into the land of dreams.
The soft dim of candlelight is its only waking companion now. Those flaming balls above vanish without a trace as the night festers, and not a sound breaks the silence for twilight’s spell has granted rest upon the occupants of the transport. It is the perfect moment for leave; however, It wouldn’t do to explore alone lest he suffer the child’s wrath upon his awakening, thus its only repose is to mingle alone in the cool, chilly air.
But it is not alone for long. An uninvited visitor has come.
“… My beloved. What are you doing?”
It does not look at the phantom. It desperately ignores their touch. I expected this. The dusk has always been the domain of wraiths.
“I told you already. I am forging a different path.” The Knight attempts to respond with indifference, but it can feel its mind slowly deteriorating. Their soft breath creeps upon its neck in gnawing bites of chills and shivers; their tender hands wrap around its waist, warmth begging to be embraced. However, it must not give in—not when it has finally resolved itself to be free.
“What about our promise? Are you truly going to abandon them?”
“We know not how the future shall unravel. Perhaps the Comet will fulfill your wish in my stead.”
“You know that to be false. Their desire to reach for yonder skies can never be buried; they will shatter the firmament, and they will bring ruin upon my children.”
“Aegis is your child as well.”
“A child that never should have been born.”
The Knight raises its hand, and it swiftly grasps its own neck. Choking, sputtering… it crushes the flesh as air comes wheezing out in anguished throes, pain rising up to every wretched part of its body, until the phantom begins to shimmer back to the depths of nothingness.
“I… will not allow myself to defile her image any longer,” it gasps. “You are but an amalgamation of my doubts—a hollow, empty illusion for which my penitence shall always bring forth. But make no mistake: My beloved would never say such words. She would cherish every life, weep for every death, no matter how wicked their soul may be steeped. For that is her devotion as their Mother; that is her love for all of humanity. I no longer need a warden to chain me to her duty, so begone.”
“You will never see her face again if you get rid of me.”
“I would rather her smile remain a fleeting memory than have my vile conscious conjure such mockery.”
“Then… I suppose this is goodbye.”
Goodbye. Yes, I suppose it is.
“You have been my companion since the very beginning. Always tormenting me with my failure. Always reminding me of what I couldn’t protect. But, nonetheless, you have been by my side. When my pain brought me to that perilous precipice of despair, you were seated there beside me.
“But there is no place for regret any longer. Sleep now, and on the day of my final agony, I shall welcome you once more.”
The phantom glimmers with a final, sad smile, and cups its face with their fading hand. “Farewell. I shall be waiting.”
They are gone, carried away into the boundless sky above. Permanently. An ache in its heart throbs with a mournful pang, as if a very piece of itself has ceased to be, but along with it, a sense of freedom it has not felt in a very, very long time.
Farewell, my sorrow.
A rousing stirs from behind. The Knight looks back and finds a yawning Aegis reaching out towards it with drowsy gurgles. The child is feeling concerned. It can feel it; his desire to comfort the still-shaken being.
“You can still yet rest. There is no need to wake now.”
But the baby refuses, staring at it with eyes drenched in worry. The Knight can’t help but chuckle to itself, for with the departing of one companion comes another—although this one drools quite a bit.
“Alright. Let us set out, then.”
The two silently exit the room and begin to wander about the darkened construct. Shadows given life by the moonlight’s glow serve as their guide, manifesting trails of pale luster leading to great troves of marvel. One such location contains a strange, cylindrical metal vessel attached with steel rods that creep above the ceiling. Another houses a rectangular oddity with a large arm-sized opening in the middle. The Knight senses a sorcery within, but sadly it can only be operable by one who can stir Creation.
Aegis babbles a covetous cry, pointing to the trinket and kicking his feet as he squirms atop the being’s head.
“Hm. I do not detect malice within, but you must not let curiosity bid control over your will. Evaluate the danger, the consequences, and the—”
He ignores it and fidgets with even greater strength. Perhaps it is foolish to teach such lessons now. Never the matter, I am quite interested in this contraption as well.
With a careful raise, Aegis puts his tiny arm in the apparatus. A thin, green light twirls forth and begins to surround his body in aura, washing away at the impurities and dirt until his face shines with a crystal-like gleam. Hrm, how interesting. They have devised a method to allow even the simplest of minds to invoke a spell. Fascinating.
The baby appears to be quite entertained by the spell as well, partaking in a little laugh as he swings his fist through the glowing sparkles. Perhaps a little too loud, for the sharp stomp of a boot breaks through the stillness and rapidly approaches them. It does not even need to speak before Aegis vanishes.
“Hm? Who’s up at this hour?” Dariel emerges from one of the pathways and lights up with joy as he spots the Knight leaning inconspicuously upon the wall. “Oh, you’re awake! Thank the Stars you’re a sturdy one; I was afraid Annalay might have put you to sleep for good.”
He glares at the imprint still left on its armor, eyes darkening in an expression of annoyance before returning to his cheery self. “Um, don’t worry about that. We’ll get you fitted with our blacksmith’s very best once we reach the capital, courtesy of Annalay’s salary.”
“Hehe, I appreciate your concern,” it says with a soft chuckle. “I just awoke a moment ago and wanted to explore my surroundings a bit. It’s a beautiful night, you know? A moon this bright would weep with grief if I were to merely stay resting within.”
Dariel peeks out of the nearby window and nods in understanding. “You’re right, we haven’t had a night like this in a long while. I’m a bit embarrassed for not noticing.”
“Really? That’s odd. What were you doing roaming out this late for, then?”
“O-Oh, um, it was actually to check up on you,” he whispers with a blush. “The Astrologians already assured me that your health was in good condition, but I wanted to see for myself. I hope you don’t mind, especially after what Annalay did.”
“Don’t worry about it! Lady Annalay had every reason to test me, although it would have been nice if she held back just a bit more.”
“Unfortunately, restraint is the furthest tenet away from her values. But how is your body? Are you still feeling sore at all?”
“Nope, I’m as healthy as can be.” I redirected my flesh and bones away from the blow upon the moment of impact, so all her fist wrought was a covering of steel and a hollow layer of skin.
“Phew, that’s great. On the bright side, thanks to this whole ordeal, we were able to find out the order you belong to.”
“Really?” the Knight muses. It has copied the style of the one Polus call Valkyrie, albeit to inferior degrees, so there should be no complications with masking itself as one of their kinsmen.
“Yep! You’re probably with the Order of the Stalwart Principality. They’re quick, nimble, and can put up a mean fight while dancing around their foes. Lorelai was originally with them before she became a Throne, so hopefully we’ll find someone who can recognize you there once we, well, figure out a way to get rid of that miasma around you. Um, I wonder if we’ll even be allowed to take you in…”
Dariel paces about, mind seemingly cluttered with a barrage of thoughts, before suddenly stopping and letting his face relax into a worry-less, blank stare. “Hm, I guess it doesn’t matter. Worst comes to worst, I can just use my status to force our way through.”
“Is that… something nobles can usually do?” the Knight asks.
“Not usually, but my grandfather is the Chancellor and he’s pretty trusted by the people so we’ll probably be fine. I think.”
He sheepishly rubs the back of his head before attempting to divert the topic away with an awkward stutter. “A-Anyway, I’ll guide you around the capital once we arrive - see if we can help stir any of your old memories - and I’ll even show you some of my favorite spots! There’s an eatery that’s really popular called Mary’s Tavern and, oh, there’s a theatre in the entertainment district I really like as well and…”
Dariel continues on with his excited ramblings for some time, allowing the Knight to have a moment of contemplation. It has not intended to become so familiar with the naive officer, but perhaps their relationship shall prove to be of great advantage upon their arrival. A noble is a powerful ally in the battlefield of wits that is politics. And, above all, the man is trusting—very much so. Yes, he shall do nicely.
“…oh, I have an idea: Why don’t you explore this carriage with me? Truth be told, this is the latest model from Ishmahab, so I’m a bit unfamiliar with its features. It’ll be a lot of fun! What do you say?”
The Knight smiles.
“It would be my pleasure.”