Aegis Online

(Hey hey! Chapter nine, huh? Honestly, I’m amazed I even made it this far, but, thanks to all the lovely people who’ve read my story, I’m confident that I can keep bringing the updates on-schedule! Every Monday, like clockwork! Oh, I also have a Patreon, if you somehow feel like supporting me! It’s true that I can’t really offer anything, but it’d mean a lot to me if you would all consider it. Anyway, enough talk, and ON WITH THE SHOW!)

Houseworth hums solemnly. “Of course, mistress Kylie. If you would prefer me not to say anything, than I will make sure to refrain from informing your parents. However, if they ask directly, I’m afraid I won’t be able to defy my programming…”

I nod, understanding that, despite whatever Houseworth wants, he’s still bound by rules, just like any of us. However, my phone goes off again, followed by the doorbell. I answer as I quickly dress in jeans and a baggy black hoodie, shoving my front-door keycard and wallet into the huge pockets of my sweater.

“Yo! Finally, I’ve been trying to get hold of you all evening! Let’s hang out; I wanna talk to you about something.” Jeffrey’s voice crackles through the speaker as I jam my feet into my battered black sneakers. The door opens as I reach the bottom of the stairs, Houseworth’s voice reminding me not to stay out too late. On the doorstep, Jeffrey turns, grinning. His tousled blonde hair looks as messy as ever, resisting any and all attempts to subdue it via combing. The porchlight above us causes his hazelnut-coffee eyes to glint and twinkle merrily as he holds up a bag, steam wafting invitingly from it.

“Perfect timing Kyle, I got us McDonald’s! Two double-cheeseburgers, two large fries, and two sodas! Now, come and hang out with me in the park, I… I need to talk to you about something… quite important.”

Swallowing a nervous lump in my throat, I slap a smile onto my own face and agree, knowing that I can’t really turn Jeffrey away at my door. He’d give me no end of shit about it at school, so there’s not much point trying to escape. Tugging my hood up, I tag along beside him as he meanders towards the small green area that once used to be a common, but trees and flowerbeds have turned it into a pleasant, lush little park, even a couple of benches scattered throughout.

Sitting on one of the benches underneath a glowing halogen, Jeffrey tears the bag open, using the ripped foil as a tablecloth of sorts, and setting out our food. “Now, before we eat, I wanna discuss something that happened in Aegis Online. I saw that big-time streamer! You know, the pro? WildRoseOfTheWest? She’s playing some kinda spellcaster, too! She was with a friend, and I maaay have put myself on her shit-list. I thought her friend was you!” he laughs, and I shiver in trepidation.

“Y-yeah? Why?” I ask, finally breaking my silence, but Jeffrey shrugs. “I dunno, man, I just got the same kinda vibe from her friend that I get from you. She was way cute, though. She was… happy, like she was really LIVING, y’know? Seriously, why’d I have to be so dumb?? If I hadn’t made such a twat of myself, I would’ve liked to talk to her. Even her name is pretty, too. Kettrin…”

I open my mouth to respond, but he cuts me off. “So, why did you decide to change your usual name? I’ve known you in games as Callex for almost as long as we’ve been friends. Come on, did you really think you could fool me? And… why the female avatar?”

I can feel myself growing cold and I must have paled, since Jeffrey looks concerned. “Look, if you wanna crossplay, it’s not a big deal, I know a fair few people who do that, but… it’s just strange, you know? I mean, we’ve known each other since we were kids, right? I can tell when something’s eating you from the inside. Anyway, I wanted to tell you something, but... I also want YOU to tell me what’s making you so tense. You’ve looked like that before, but never this bad.”

I almost fall off the bench, and Jeffrey reaches out to steady me. I bite my lip, feeling uncomfortable with keeping the truth of my identity a secret, but… what would happen if he found out anyway?

“I know you may not really want to share, but I need to know if you’re gonna be okay. I don’t get what’s making you like this, and I’m kinda freaking out, Kyle. Tell you what, I’ll tell you what I wanted to tell you, and then, if you really don’t want to share your burden, at least let me help you. Okay?”

I flinch a little as he says that name again. That horrible, not-me name. But, he’s right. I’ve known him long enough to know that he won’t just let this go.  “Alright… I’ll agree to this, but… only if we eat first…”

He grins, an expression of relief crossing his face as he sits back and gestures to the still-hot food. “Go ahead, dig in!”

The silence as we tuck into the burgers and fries lasts only as long as it takes to finish them, but seems to stretch on into eternity. Sucking down the last of his soda, Jeffrey breaks the hush.

“So, the thing I was going to tell you... is that I’m gay.”

My jaw falls open, and he chuckles slightly. “Well, judging from your reaction, you hadn’t noticed! How? It’s not like I hide it, though I’m not blatantly open about my sexuality.” He shrugs, swirling the dregs of his soda cup and rattling the ice inside. “But yeah, I thought you knew so I never mentioned it before, but, since you didn’t, I’m glad I told you. I’ve known for years, so it kinda seems obvious to me.”

The quiet returns as I try to process this. My best friend… is gay? And has been for ages? How?? How had I not noticed? Had I truly been so wrapped up in my own situation that I simply hadn’t paid attention to what was happening around me? Jeffery’s foot nudges mine, breaking me out of my reverie. “Well, I told you mine, so now you’ve gotta spill yours. If you can’t say it, then… sing it!”

 He tugs his phone out and begins playing an upbeat, jaunty piece of piano music on repeat. I recognize his ringtone sound, but it’s the full piece, rather than the snippet he’s set. As I listen, words slowly start to fall into place, and I close my eyes, drawing a breath, and then starting to sing, huskily at first, before putting a more feminine tone into it.

“There is something I would like to tell you,

 I figured it out a day ago!

I feel great, and it makes me really happy,

And I love you so I’d love for you to know:

Have you heard of L-GB-T-Q+? Well, I am the T!

I have a heart, and a brain, that’s of a woman’s,

Yes, I’m Trans, and I’m proud, to be me!

A-a-aaand, just in case you were wondering,

Yes I’m pretty sure, it’s not a trend!

And thou-ough this experience is different for everybody,

I have experimented, and I really, really, really like

Being called a girl, so… hahahaha… yeah…

Thanks for listening, now you know more about me,

Something I have always been.

I am a part of something really beautiful,

Because she-yes, SHE- iiissss… meeeeee….”

Silence falls, broken only by the piano chords as the piece finally tinkles to an end, and stops. I scrunch my eyes up, waiting for Jeffrey to respond. The bench creaks, and my eyes snap open as he places his hand on my shoulder. “So… you’re a girl? Not a guy? Am I getting that right?”

I swallow, and nod shyly. “Y-yeah… I mean, now I know, it was kinda obvious. Always sort of… hanging back when it came to P.E, never wanting to swim without a t-shirt on, feeling out-of-place with boys… feeling jealous of other girls….”

Jeffrey smiles. “Well, if you’re a girl, then that’s who you are. Do you have a new name, or something? I guess you won’t want to be called… you know… again?”

With a quick nod, I admit that I’m temporarily going by Kylie for now, but… “Could you keep this a secret? Just… call me Ky when we’re in public or at school? Please?”

He grins and pokes my shoulder. “Of course, it’s not my place to share your secret, Kylie.” I smile, blushing a little as someone uses a name I can tolerate in real life.  Picking up the refuse from our meal, Jeffrey and I head back to my family’s apartment, and he grins at me on the doorstep. “It’s nice to actually meet you, Kylie, and I can’t wait to find out what name you end up picking. Anyway, g’night! See you in-game?”

After a night of restless tossing and turning, I wake, almost as tired as if I hadn’t slept at all. Houseworth’s greeting of “Good morning, mistress Kylie!” sends a thrill down my spine as I prepare for school, making sure I’ve got my homework, my bag, all the usual detritus that the school system insists on making us poor, helpless students drag around, day after day, before heading for the grav-train terminal.

 I already miss the world of Aegis Online, how bright and lively it feels in comparison to the dull, dreary city around me. The grav-train’s humming roar isn’t quite loud enough to distract me from my thoughts, however, and I fall into a mild funk as the stations pass, one after another, my body on autopilot.

Sliding into my seat just before the electronic scanners register who’s present or absent, I breathe a sigh of relief as the green light on my desk winks on. True, I was trying to make it impossible to get questioned, but being late wouldn’t look good when my parents found out. Tardiness is a big thing with them, and I recall a few times where being ‘on time’ was as good as being late.

As soon as the lesson starts, I get a message on my phone. It’s from Asteria!  Surreptitiously checking my phone, I scan the lines of text, catching Jeffrey’s gaze as he slides into his seat, a couple minutes late as usual, shooting him a small smile.

‘Hey, Kettrin, ya li’l cutie! I hope you’re okay, I’ve been worried about you, but I didn’t wanna bother you, either.  I’ll be in-game today; I hope you’ll join me!  Something awesome’s happened! A new dungeon has been discovered, and I want you to explore it with me! Love, Astie!’

Just as I finish sending an affirmative, the bell rings as the teacher enters, and I hurriedly tuck my phone away. Ms. Hawkshead is almost psychic when it comes to phones, sweets, and other ‘contraband’. If I get caught, I’ll lose my phone for the day in an instant. The lunch break can’t possibly come soon enough…

Finishing my lunch in record time, I excuse myself for some fresh air in the courtyard, pulling my phone out and checking the messages. There’s a reply from Asteria, and I have to hold myself back from squeaking. She’s looking forwards to our ‘date’ tonight?! Ohhh, this girl’s going to give me a heart-attack…

While I’m free to use my phone, I send a message home. Houseworth will pick it up, since I marked it for the AI’s attention, and since the pod is connected to his sensors, he can run a diagnostic on it better than any human. I know there’s no issues, but… better safe than sorry, right? Especially with a janky old military-surplus immersion pod.

The rest of the day drags slower than the imminent heat-death of the universe, and with about as many casualties, thanks to the last lesson being a double presided over by the terminally-dull Mr Simmons, his droning monotone actually putting half-a-dozen students to sleep. That’s a new record! The final bell can’t come soon enough; I can feel myself beginning to doze off! This old lecturer is like the Dark Souls of teachers! What is this, a boss-battle against a Beholder with nine petrifying beams instead of just the one?!