Accidental Multiverse Planeswalker

“Jane, we can't keep doing this.” Eric said and sighed as Jane dove into the back of the vehicle to look at her notes again.

“The last seventeen occurrences have been predictable to the second.” Jane said and opened her computer.

“You're an astrophysicist, not a storm chaser.” Eric said.

“I'm telling you that there's a connection between these atmospheric disturbances and my research.” Jane said and didn't notice her intern, Darcy staring at the large sideview mirror. “Eric, I wouldn't have asked you to fly out here if I wasn't absolutely sure that...”

“Jane.” Darcy interrupted and pointed. “I think you want to see this.”

Jane closed her computer laptop and moved to the back of the vehicle and saw a bright blue light forming above the clouds. “What is that?”

Both Jane and Eric went to the sunroof and looked at the thing.

“I thought you said it was a subtle Aurora!” Eric exclaimed.

Jane looked at Darcy pointedly. “GO!”

Darcy nodded and put the vehicle into gear as she stepped on the gas pedal. Jane and Eric fell down inside onto seats and then moved to the front of the vehicle to sit properly before Jane readied a video camera to record the event.

The vehicle that looked like a cross between a jeep and a panel van, hit several large bumps and divots in the desert field they were driving across.

“Get us closer!” Jane shouted.

“No duh!” Darcy shouted back.

“Just go!” Jane shouted and leaned out the window.

A swirling dark cloud touched down in front of them and then several bright sparks and an explosion happened. The van drove on for another few seconds, then Darcy panicked and turned the wheel away from the swirling vortex.

“What are you doing?” Jane shouted and grabbed the wheel to put it back towards the vortex.

“I'm not dying for six college credits!” Darcy shouted.

They fought over the steering wheel when another explosion happened. Darcy screamed and slammed on the brakes, the vehicle spun out of control, and two loud thumps were heard before the vehicle came to a stop half a spin later.

The three people inside exchanged startled looks, then they dove out of the vehicle and ran over to the two bodies laying on the ground.

“I think that was legally your fault!” Darcy said in her defence.

“Get the first aid kit!” Jane said and knelt beside the tall blond man while Eric checked the other body. “Do me a favor and don't be dead. Please!”

The blonde man made several panting breaths before he rolled over and stared up at Jane's face.

“Whoa! Does he need CPR, because I totally know CPR.” Darcy said as she held the first aid kit.

The blond man lasted only a few moments before he groaned and fell unconscious.

“This one's alive, too.” Eric said as the man groaned in pain.

Darcy went over to him and gasped. “Jane! You can have that one! This one's mine!” She said and knelt by the man before she kissed him soundly, pretending it was CPR.

“He's unconscious again.” Eric said.

“Yep! I've still got it!” Darcy said, proudly.

“Where did they come from?” Jane asked and looked around. The weather phenomenon had completely dissipated and left a clear sky above them.

Suddenly, the blond man shot to his feet and he started muttering the word 'hammer'.

“Yeah, we can tell you're hammered.” Darcy said, her hand on her chosen man's chest.

“Eric!” Jane gasped when she looked down where the blond man had been laying. “Look at this! We have to move quickly, before it all changes.”

“Jane, we have to take them to the hospital.” Eric said.

“They're fine. Look at him.” Jane said.

“Father! Heimdal! I know you can hear me! Open the Bifrost!”

“Hospital.” Jane said to Eric. “You go. I'll stay.”

“You.” The blond man said and pointed at Jane. “What realm is this? Alfheim? Nornheim?”

Darcy pulled out a taser and armed it. “New Mexico.”

The man looked at her mockingly. “You dare threaten me, Thor, with so puny a weap...”

Darcy fired and two prongs hit his chest and he shook and trembled as he was tasered, then he fell backwards with a thump.

Jane and Eric stared at her.

“What? He was freaking me out!” Darcy said in her defense.

Eric sighed and struggled with the large man and dragged him over to the weird vehicle. “The next time... you taser someone... make sure he's already in the car first!” He spat and took several breaths.

“At least my guy's all nice and calm.” Darcy said.

“Give me a hand with him.” Eric said.

“Gladly!” Darcy said and started kissing the unconscious man.

“That's not what I meant.” Eric said and the two of them had a difficult time moving him.

“He weighs a ton!” Darcy said and they manged to sit him on the back bumper. “Can you feel all these muscles? They're like steel!”

“I didn't notice.” Eric said and pushed the guy backwards. The loud thump of his head hitting the floor echoed through the air.

“Hey! Be careful!” Darcy shouted.

“I'm sorry. I thought he would fall on the other guy.”

“He did!” Darcy pointed.

Eric saw one shoulder had turned the second guy enough to whack his head on the floor without protection. “Sorry.” He said and pushed the man's legs inside, not even bothering to be gentle about it. “Jane! Come on!”

Jane did one last look at the markings in the sand before she ran over to the vehicle and hopped in.

As they drove away, they completely missed another object coming through the clouds and impacting into the desert sand.

*

“Uhhh.” I groaned and felt a throbbing headache and that I was moving, then whatever I was in hit a bump or something and bounced me right back onto my head again. “OW! Goddammit!”

“Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. We're taking you to the hospital.” A happy woman said as she leaned over me and then she kissed me passionately.

I was a bit too shocked that someone would kiss a slightly charred man to push her away. I cast diagnostic spells on myself and saw several small fractures in my finger bones and one on the back of my head. I also had a severe concussion.

The woman broke the kiss and gave me a sad look. “I thought you would kiss better when you were awake.”

I formed a bacta needle in my hand and she jumped back from me. I injected small amounts into my fingers where the breaks were, assuming I had somehow stopped something with my hand or my head. I put little bits into the sore spots on my arms, legs, and chest as well before I rolled onto my side and groaned. It felt like my brain had slid around unfettered inside my head and it throbbed with pain.

“Good god, don't move!” The woman exclaimed, then she let out a little screech as I shoved the needle into the back of my head and injected the rest of the bacta into it.

“What's going on back there?” Jane asked and I caught my breath.

“Padme? Is that you?” I asked and I wanted to jump up to look at her. I knew I couldn't, not until my skull healed.

“Was that a name? I don't recognize it.” Padme said.

“Please let it be you.” I whispered and closed my eyes. “I've missed you.”

Everyone was quiet for several moments.

“Great, even unconscious men fall for her instead of me.” The woman whispered.

“We're almost at the hospital.” A man's voice said.

“No... no hospital.” I said and grabbed some kind of handle. The image of 'Unknown Vehicle' formed in my head as I pulled myself up into a sitting position. I found that I was half-sitting on another man, so I touched him to push myself off. An image of 'God of Thunder - Unworthy Human' formed inside my head. “Where the hell am I?”

“Here we go again.” The woman wearing glasses said. “Are you going to spout weird names, too?”

“You're speaking English, so I have to assume I'm somewhere in North America. I can't tell by the accent, though. It's been way too long since I've been here to remember things like that.” I said and the vehicle came to a stop in the parking lot of a hospital.

“Let's get you admitted and checked over.” Padme said and hopped out of the vehicle's passenger side and walked around to the rear door. She opened it and I stared at her. “What? Is there something on my face?”

I reached out and cupped the side of it. The image of 'Astrophysicist - Female' formed in my head. I sighed and let her face go. “You look like her; but, you're not her.”

“Come on.” The woman held a hand out to me.

“No.” I said and pulled myself up into a chair. “Give me a minute.”

The woman sighed and looked at the other man. “Eric, give me a hand with the blond one.”

“I'm not carrying him again.” Eric said and hopped out. “I'll go grab a wheelchair and...”

“I said...” I paused and cast Sonorus on myself. “...NO HOSPITALS!”

All three of them yelped in fright and jumped slightly.

“What the hell was that?” The woman wearing glasses asked me as I cancelled the spell.

“Me getting your attention.” I said and felt energy flowing through me as my Prismatic Regeneration finished. I cast a diagnostic spell on myself and nodded.

I then cast several diagnostic spells on Thor and found that he had some major fractures, bruises, and also a concussion like I had. I quickly gave him the same treatment I gave myself, plus a few extra needles on the larger fractures. I also stunned him to make sure he didn't wake up until he was healed. Unlike me, he didn't have regeneration or anything.

The two women and one man stared at me.

“My name is John Hansen and I was born and raised in Kansas. I honestly don't know how I arrived here.” I said and they seemed to relax. “Can I ask you what your names are?”

“I'm Darcy and the old guy is Eric.” The woman with the glasses said. “I was supposed to be your future wife until you declared your love for my boss, Jane.”

“I don't love her.” I said and then sighed and I put my head in my hands. “She's a dimensional doppleganger for the woman I did love.”

“What does that mean?” Darcy asked.

“He's from a parallel dimension.” Eric said. “I don't know how that's possible.”

“No, not parallel.” I said and rubbed my face as I waited for Thor to wake up. “I'm from another dimension. Stating that they are parallel implies that they are similar.” I looked down at the man on the floor of the vehicle. “Having the embodiment of a Norse god visit you, means I am definitely not anywhere near where I came from.”

“Wait a second. He's really Thor?” Darcy asked and I nodded. “Well, damn.”

“We need to get him out of here.” Jane said and closed the back door, then she and Eric climbed into the vehicle and drove us away from the hospital. Everyone was silent as we drove across town and stopped at the place they were staying.

“Do you mind if I stay here for a while?” I asked and climbed out through the back door. “I need to get my bearings and find out what I'm supposed to do here.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Jane said.

“YES!” Darcy yelled and hopped out, then she ran around the back of the vehicle and comically slid to a stop next to me. “Sweet Adonis! You're huge!”

I looked down at her and estimated her height at barely five feet and four inches. “I suppose I am.”

“Can you help me with Thor, please?” Jane asked.

“Of course.” I said and easily lifted the unconscious man out of the vehicle and put him over my shoulder in a fireman's carry.

Darcy and Jane stared at me.

“Just tell me where you want him.” I said.

“I-inside. Second door on the right.” Jane said and I walked over to where Eric had the door opened for me.

“Thanks.” I said and entered their place. I deposited Thor in the small bedroom and went back out to sit at the table they had there.

Jane, Darcy and Eric came in and gave me questioning looks.

“Please, don't let me interrupt.” I said and waved at their setup. “You've got important things to do.”

“I guess we do.” Jane said and the three of them went over to their workspace.

Darcy hooked up a video camera and they watched it before they started printing out still frames from it. Jane caught her breath and ran over to a larger printer, then ran back to her computer. She sent two different pictures to the new printer and ran back over to wait for them.

“Eric, you have got to look at this.” Jane said and handed him the first printed image.

“Yes, it's a nice starscape shot.” Eric said. “What am I looking at here?”

“Do you recognize any constellations in that?” Jane asked.

Eric looked at the photo and his eyebrows rose. “No, actually. I don't.”

“Exactly!” Jane said and handed him a different picture. “This was taken from the footage I shot last week. It has our constellations in it.”

Eric looked at it and nodded. “What's your point?”

“Eric, the first one I showed you was from tonight while we were under the aurora. The sky we saw out there wasn't ours!”

Eric stared at her and then down at the photos as Darcy printed out more of them and stuck them up on the board without looking at them.

“I'm sure what we saw was the horizon of an Heisenberg-Rosen Bridge.” Jane said and went back to the computer to print off a picture of it.

“What's that?” Darcy asked.

“It's a theoretical model of a real wormhole that connects two separate points in space-time. Things can pass through harmlessly if certain precautions are taken.” I said and the three of them looked over at me with shock on their faces. “What? Is there something on my face?”

“No, your muscles distracted us from seeing your brains.” Darcy said.

I couldn't stop my bark of laughter. “Ha! That was a good one.”

“Thanks!” Darcy said, looking pleased.

“I don't want to know how you know that, do I?” Jane asked.

“No.” I said and had to look away from her. “You don't know how weird it is for me to see you wearing jeans.”

“I suppose my hair's different, too.” Jane said, a little perturbed.

“Kind of. The last time I saw her, she had grey hair and always kept it tied back. It made her look so refined and sexy.”

Jane blushed a little and then she heard what I said. “Did you say I had grey hair?”

“Yes, she skipped the last rejuvenation cycle because she said she wanted to look more distinguished for her next one hundred birthdays.”

Darcy's and Jane's mouths dropped open in shock while Eric sat down on a nearby chair.

The printer beeped and Darcy grabbed the picture without looking at it and put it up on the board. When she had it secured, she seemed to come out of her shocked state and then she caught her breath. “Jaaaane!”

Jane shook her head slightly, as if to clear it, then she went over to the board that was covered in pictures. “Oh, my god.”

Eric looked as well. He didn't say anything and just sat there, stunned.

I sighed and walked over to the board to look for myself, since no one else was going to tell me what was going on. It was a slightly blurry image and it showed something like smoke rings and soft orange light. Inside that light were two distinct human figures, one close and one farther away.

“This was a frame from the footage?” I asked and they nodded. “It does look like an explosion.”

“Two of them, actually.” Darcy said. “They scared the crap out of me.”

“Can you show me the footage?” I asked.

“Sure.” Darcy said and took my hand to lead me over to the laptop. She sat me down and leaned on my shoulder to press her breast into my neck, then she whispered. “Are you sure you're not in love with the doc?”

I nodded. “I've got two warring versions of her in my head and I'm having trouble reconciling them into two different people.” I whispered. “The last place I was, I met someone else I used to know well. She had the same face, the same likes, the same passions, and she even acted the same.” I looked over at Jane staring at the image. “I honestly don't know what to make of her.”

“Good.” Darcy said and she grabbed my chin to turn my head to face her. She didn't say anything else and started kissing me.

Unlike the last time, I wasn't half-out of my mind in pain, so I kissed her back as good as I could. She made a pleased sound and then collapsed into my lap and kept kissing me. I hugged her tightly and made out with her for several minutes as I lightly caressed her thigh.

Darcy shivered slightly and broke the kiss with a surprised look on her face. “You just... I just... wow.”

“Can you show me the footage now?” I asked.

“I'll show you anything you want.” Darcy whispered and gave me a quick kiss before she turned around on my lap and brought up the file in another video player and started it.

We both watched it and it was quite scary, especially since they were driving right into the end of a theoretical wormhole. I watched the fight over the wheel from the perspective of Jane's hand, saw the two explosions, then Darcy screamed and slammed on the breaks and the vehicle went out of control. There were two thumps and the vehicle stopped spinning.

“Now that's using my head.” I joked.

Darcy laughed, then she blushed in embarrassment. “I'm sorry about that, John. I really, really am.”

“I just saw that it was an accident.” I said and kissed her cheek. “If you want me to forgive you, I do.”

“Thank you.” Darcy whispered and I gave her a soft and tender kiss.

“If you two are done, what did you discover?” Jane asked.

“It's a wormhole.” I said. “I can't tell you how I got caught in it, though.”

Jane sighed. “I guess we have to wait for sleeping beauty to wake up.”

“He's going to be out until morning.” I said and she looked surprised. “I can tell. I'm a medical doctor.”

“Oh, god! I love you!” Darcy exclaimed and kissed me passionately.

That made Eric and Jane laugh.

“Relax, Darcy. He's not going to sneak off in the middle of the night.” Jane said and Darcy broke the kiss. “You aren't, are you?”

“No, I told you. I have no idea how I got here. Now that I am here, I don't know what to do.”

“Me!” Darcy volunteered and put her hand up.

“You're already sucking his face off and you're cuddled up on his lap.” Jane said. “I'm sure he has some idea that you're interested.”

“I think so.” I said and made an unsure face. “I'm sure there's a baseball reference about it.”

Darcy grinned and grabbed my hand to press to her chest, then she pushed it down between her legs. “You just hit a home run!” She said and stood with my hand in hers. “You passed first, rounded second, sped past third, and now you're about to cross home plate and score with me!”

I chuckled as she dragged me out of the main room and into her hers before she slammed the door shut.

Darcy turned around as she let my hand go and she pulled off her thick sweater. Her chest was packed tightly into a much smaller bra. “It keeps me warmer this way.” She said and unhooked it to let her girls out. She sighed with relief and I grabbed onto them to start massaging them. “Ohhhh... mmm...”

“By the way, I give the best massages on multiple worlds.” I whispered to her and kissed her.

“Massage later. Screw now.” Darcy said and pushed me away, then started unbuttoning her pants.

I pulled off my shirt without unbuttoning it and she gasped.

Darcy bit her lip as she stared at me. “Good lord.” She whispered. “How much can you bench?”

“Three-fifty.” I said and didn't tell her that was under a thousand times Earth gravity.

She moaned and then yanked down her own pants and tried to kick off her shoes, only they were trapped by her pants. I eased her back onto the bed and slipped her shoes off for her, then took off her socks and kissed her feet. She giggled and then glared at me, so I pulled off her jeans and kissed my way up her legs.

“Oh god... oh, god, ohgod.” Darcy whispered as I approached her very damp panties. She looked both nervous and full of anticipation, so I touched the fabric and rubbed her a little through it. “OHHH!” She gasped and had an orgasm, thoroughly soaking her underwear.

“I think you and I are going to have a lot of fun together, Darcy.” I said to her and pulled her panties down and dove between her legs.

“OHMYGOD!” Darcy yelled and quickly lost herself to the sensations.

By the time I was buried inside of her, she was professing undying love for me and promised to never let me out of her sight, because no one else would ever take me from her. Only she was allowed to feel this good.

When I whispered that I was fiercely monogamous, she asked me to marry her and then came so hard that she fell unconscious. She didn't even feel it when I finished inside of her and her body worked on its own to automatically milk me as much as possible. I held her close and went to sleep still inside of her, so she would know that I hadn't ignored her needs when she lost consciousness.

*

Jane gave us a pointed look as we came out of the bedroom. Darcy clung onto my arm like a lifeline and she kept whispering that I wasn't allowed to look at Jane, because I was hers and hers alone. We had sex that morning and she told me that she had always had horrible boyfriends and also very bad breakups, because they all thought she was too clingy.

I brought her to a stop beside the breakfast table and turned her to face me. “I want you to know right now that I find you endearing. That you are as fierce with your love as I am, just makes me all the more devoted to you.”

Darcy gave me a surprised look, then she blushed. “John, you... you don't have to say that.”

“I waited until now, just so you would know I was serious.” I said and gave her a kiss before I sat her down at the table. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“Anything is fine.” Darcy said, her face still red.

“Lobsters and caviar?” I asked and she snorted a laugh. “No? What about lamb chops and gravy?”

Darcy laughed. “I want an actual breakfast, you nut! Eggs and bacon! Crispy for both!”

“Scrambled, sunny-side up, or over-easy?” I asked.

“You can make them over-easy without busting the yoke? Really?” Darcy asked.

“If that's what you want, you'll have it.”

“I'll have it, just to see you do it.” Darcy said.

I chuckled and kissed her cheek. “As my lady asks, she shall receive.”

Darcy looked quite happy at my words.

“Anyone else?” I asked.

“No, we were thinking of going out.” Jane said.

“Not a problem. I'll be done in a couple of minutes.” I said and quickly made up Darcy's breakfast. “There we go.” I said and gave her a plate and sat down beside her. “Shall I feed you first or should we eat together?”

“Okay, you're like the perfect boyfriend.” Darcy said and kissed me. “We can eat together for now and you can feed me tonight.”

I nodded and we ate our great smelling breakfast together while Jane sat there and stared longingly at us the entire time. It wasn't that she was jealous of us, it was that she wanted someone to do it with.

As if summoned by my thoughts, Thor opened the bedroom door and came out wearing nothing except his pants. Jane stared at him and watched him pull on a t-shirt that was just the right size for him. Darcy, being the protective person that she was, handed him a box of pop tarts to stop him from stealing any of our breakfasts.

Thor tore into them and ate them as if they were a snack. We left the rented place and walked over to a local diner. Jane then paid for Thor to eat his fill, not knowing that he was going to eat three full breakfasts and two pieces of apple pie while she asked him questions about the wormhole and how he arrived here.

When Thor finished a cup of coffee, he exclaimed it was good and smashed the cup on the floor and asked for another. Darcy and I had to clamp our mouths shut to stop our laughs. We leaned against each other as we shared amusement over Jane's indignation with Thor's behavior and her berating a Norse god. We both knew that she was already smitten with the man.

When I had viewed the footage of my arrival, I saw that I had missed a golden opportunity to connect with Padme's double. She had apparently imprinted with Thor during that first meeting and would forgive him for any transgression.

Several locals entered the diner and sat down at the counter.

“Yeah, Izzy! You missed a great time out at the crater.” One of the men said.

“They're saying that some kind of satellite landed out in the desert.” Another one said.

“Yeah, we were having a good time with it, until the feds showed up.”

“Excuse me.” Jane said and looked over at them. “Did you say there was a satellite crash?”

“Yeah.” One of the men said.

Darcy and I exchanged looks and then looked at Thor, who was happily eating.

“What did this satellite look like?” Eric asked.

“I don't know anything about satellites.” The man said. “But, it was heavy. So heavy that no one could lift it.” He turned back to his buddy. “They said it was radioactive.” He chuckled and Thor stood and strode over to him. “I had my hands all over it.”

Thor pat the man's shoulder. “Which way?”

“Uh... about 50 miles west of here.”

Thor turned and walked towards the door.

“I wouldn't waste my time! It felt like the whole army was coming when we left!”

Jane hopped up and followed Thor through the doorway.

“Let's go.” I said and took Darcy's hand and followed them. Eric was right behind us.

“Where are you going?” Jane asked Thor as several cars avoided running into him while he walked down the middle of the street.

“50 miles west of here.” Thor responded.

“Why?”

“To get what belongs to me.” Thor said.

“So, you own a satellite now?” Jane asked as he came to a stop.

“It's not what they say it is.”

“Well, the government seems to think that it's theirs, so you just intend to go in there and take it?”

“Yes.” Thor said and smiled. “If you take me there now, I'll tell you everything you wish to know.”

“Everything?” Jane asked.

“Yes. All the answers will be yours, once I reclaim Mjolnir.”

“Mew mew?” Darcy asked. “What's mew mew?”

No one said anything for a couple of seconds.

“Can I have a word, Jane?” Eric asked and she and Darcy went over to the side of the street.

I stayed beside Thor and smile at him. “You know they're talking about you, right?”

“Yes, I can hear them.” Thor said.

“They are having a hard time accepting that people like you exist.” I said.

“Of course. Asgardians haven't visited Midgard in ages.” Thor said.

“Oh, they made a decision.” I said and we turned to look at them.

“I'm sorry; but, I can't take you.” Jane said.

“Then this is where we say goodbye.” Thor said and awkwardly took her hand and laid a kiss on the back of it.

Jane looked flustered and unsure of what to say or do. “Um... thank you.” She said and laughed softly.

“Jane Foster. Eric Selvig, Darcy Lewis, John Hansen. Farewell.” Thor said and bowed slightly to us.

Jane smiled, Eric bowed slightly back, and Darcy did a cute little curtsy.

“Actually, I'd like to have a word or two with Thor, if that's okay. I'll meet you back at your place later.” I said and the others nodded.

Thor and I stood there and watched them walk away.

“I'm sorry that they don't understand.” I said and turned to face him. “I have something important that I need to find as well. I only tell those I'm going to spend a lot of time with about it, though.”

Thor smiled and pat my shoulder. “I have a feeling you've seen battle.”

I smiled back. “More than any man deserves to.”

“Ha! As have I, my friend.” Thor said. “I must depart if I am to reach my destination before nightfall.”

“Actually, I'll drive you there.” I said and waved at the side of the street.

Thor looked and saw a large black Hummer there. “Now that is a proper vehicle!”

I chuckled and walked over to it before climbing inside.

“Yes, very roomy.” Thor said and closed the door. “Onward, my friend!”

I started it up and drove us down the street and out of town. It was odd to be at the end of a long trail of vans and cars, though. Once we were outside the town limits, I debated passing all these vehicles and decided not to. I did not want to be pulled over for speeding, especially with no license. They were going fairly fast anyways.

Thor laughed as he stuck his head out the window and his hair blew around in the wind. “Yes! This is definitely a proper vehicle!”

*

“Sir! We have an unregistered Hummer behind us.” A tech person said from the back seat. “I have them on camera.

“Show me.” Agent Coulson said as he turned in the passenger seat and was handed a laptop.

“I've checked the database and there's no issued plate with those numbers.” The tech said. “There are two occupants and... they are slowing down and turning with us towards the security station? What the... just a minute, sir.”

Agent Coulson watched as the tech called the security station. “Have them stopped and asked what they are doing here.”

The tech nodded as their vehicle passed through the security checkpoint with the rest of the SHIELD vehicles.

“Sir, you're not going to believe this...” The tech started to say.

“One of them claims to be the owner.” Agent Coulson said.

“How did you know?” The tech asked.

“I've been an agent long enough.” Agent Coulson said. “Tell them to wait and I'll be right there.”

*

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Friend John?” Thor asked me.

“It's better than breaking the supposed law, and their people, trying to get your Mew Mew back.” I said.

“BWAHAHAHA!” Thor laughed and clapped my shoulder. “Your Darcy is a treasure!”

“So is your Jane.” I said and his grin was wide.

“She is quite intriguing, is she not?” Thor said.

I nodded and watched as a short man approached the Hummer. His suit and his countenance screamed 'agent' and I smiled at him as he came over to the Hummer and he stepped up onto the runner to look in through the open window.

“Which one of you claims to own the object?” He asked.

Thor put his hand up. “I am Thor and...”

“I'm John.” I said and held a hand towards the agent. “It's nice to meet you, Agent...” I prompted.

“Coulson.” Agent Coulson said and shook my hand.

“We're terribly sorry for just showing up like this; but, it's not like we could call you and make an appointment.” I said. “We would have been here sooner, if this place wasn't such a big secret that everyone but us in the town knew about it.”

Agent Coulson gave us a pointed look. “I suppose asking you what it is, is pointless.”

“Actually, the guy that told Thor about it, knew it wasn't a satellite. He couldn't say what it was, just that it was heavy and unmovable.” I corrected.

“Then what is it?” Agent Coulson asked.

“It is my hammer, Mjolnir.” Thor said. “My father enchanted it to only be lifted by me.”

“That... is oddly specific.” Agent Coulson said.

“If it's agreeable, we would like to see the thing and have Thor retrieve it, under monitored circumstances, of course.” I said and heard a small crack of thunder. “Probably before that storm finishes forming.”

Agent Coulson turned his head to see storm clouds starting to swirl in the air over the area. “All right. Park your illegal vehicle by the side of the road and I'll escort you inside.”

“It's not illegal where I came from.” I said and he gave me a pointed look. “I haven't been to a local DMV to change the plates. I just got here.”

“Do you have a valid driver's license?” Agent Coulson asked.

“I do; but, not for this state.” I said. “I don't live here and I was just travelling. Circumstances have recently changed and it looks like I'll be staying here for a while.”

Agent Coulson nodded and stepped off the runner.

“I'll just be a minute.” I said and backed up twenty feet, then I drove off the side of the road and slammed on the brakes. The Hummer slid around and stopped perfectly perpendicular to the road to be easily driven out.

Thor laughed and clapped my shoulder. “Proof by example, Friend John! Good show!”

“Thanks.” I said and we got out to see two surprised faces, one on the security guard and one on Agent Coulson. The agent shook himself slightly and pointed to the sign in sheet.

Thor went first and signed his actual name, Thor Odinson. I went next and signed Donald Duck, because I couldn't resist the temptation. I made sure to scrawl it and added nice loops, too.

Agent Coulson nodded and we entered through the security fence. He led the way and we followed him through the oddly long walkway to get to the spot. The monitoring equipment was flickering and one of the techs complained that it was just barely holding on through the electromagnetic interference that the object was giving off.

Both Thor and I entered the space where the hammer stood on kind of a pedestal and the agent stayed by the entrance. He nodded to the techs and they all focused their equipment on Thor as he approached the thing.

“Finally, I will be myself again.” Thor said and took a proper pose to lift the hammer, and slid his hand around it. He smiled and pulled... and nothing happened.

Thor lost the smile and his other hand joined the first and he pulled hard. The hammer didn't move. He struggled for several minutes before he let the hammer's handle go and looked up into the ceiling and yelled out his frustrations with a loud roar. He dropped to his knees and hung his head.

“Why... why...” Thor whispered.

I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I'm sorry.”

Thor nodded and stayed there on the ground.

I reached over and touched the handle of the hammer to gain a copy of it. “Oh. I see.”

“What is it?” Agent Coulson said.

“The hammer was enchanted by his father as he said. The only change is that Thor has to be worthy to lift it once more.” I explained.

“So, you're saying that hammer will never move from that spot.” Agent Coulson said.

“No. You can remove the spot from around it, as the crater shows. The hammer will remain.” I said.

“I guess this isn't a temporary situation after all.” Agent Coulson said and there was a beep. “It seems Dr. Foster is here to retrieve her research.”

“You took her things?” Thor asked with a bellow and stood.

“Easy, there.” I said and he gave me a glare. I squeezed his shoulder to keep his attention. “Fighting them all on the way out is not a good idea, even if we knew what stuff was hers to take with us.”

“You would fight with me?” Thor asked.

I smiled. “Of course I would. You're my friend.”

Thor nodded. “I wish to retrieve her things.”

I turned to Coulson. “Why did you take her research?”

“It's essential to this investigation.” Agent Coulson said. “We need to know how any incursion can appear on Earth and threaten the population.”

I glanced at Thor and he shrugged. “Can we check that you haven't damaged anything? Jane should be happy that you're taking care of her things, at least.”

Agent Coulson gave me a pointed look.

“We won't enter the room and you can stand beside us to make sure.” I said and he nodded.

Agent Coulson led us through the temporary base to where they had stored Jane's equipment and notes. “As you can see, it's in excellent condition. We'll be going through it all and adding it to our own research in anomalies.”

I let the Force flow out and covered everything in the room. I gained images for everything as I pretended to visually examine everything. “Thank you, Agent Coulson. I appreciate the courtesy you've shown us.”

Agent Coulson gave me another pointed look. “You're not actually going to fight your way out of here, are you?”

I chuckled and shook my head. “There's no need.” I said and clapped Thor on the shoulder. “Come on, my friend. Jane is waiting for us.”

“She doesn't know we are here.” Thor said.

“She will.” I said with a knowing smile. “Agent Coulson? Do you want to walk us out or should we let the ten agents around the corner shadow us as we find our own way?”

“How did you know?” Agent Coulson asked.

“Fresh gun oil.” I said and his eyes widened. “It's one of the drawbacks of having a clean area without smells in it. Any strong smell will carry.”

“Is that what that smell is?” Thor asked.

“Yes, it's specialty oil used to make mechanical parts of weapons run smoothly.” I said and waved at the hallway. “Agent?”

“I'll walk you out.” Agent Coulson said and then mumbled as he walked by us with a little device close to his mouth. “Remind myself that I need to get R&D to look into scentless gun oil.”

I gave Thor a nod and he nodded back, then we followed the agent all the way back out of the facility.

Jane looked shocked to see us. “THOR!” She gasped.

She really is totally smitten with him. I thought and watched as she hugged him. It was a little painful to see, because she was my love's doppleganger. It was a bit funny that it was only in looks, though. Their personalities and their behaviours were completely different.

“How did you get here so fast?” Jane asked.

“We drove!” Thor said and pointed to the big black Hummer.

“Where did you get that?” Jane asked.

“It doesn't matter.” I said and waved her over to her vehicle. “We've overstayed our welcome already.”

“But, my equipment...” Jane started to say.

“They are taking good care of it.” Thor said. “We saw it and it is fine.”

Jane sighed in relief. “I'm glad they aren't tearing it apart.”

Thor nodded and the three of us walked over to her vehicle. It was only driven off the road and would need to be backed up and turned around to leave.

“Thor? Why don't you drive with Jane going back? I'm sure she has a lot of questions for you, now that you're kind of stuck here.”

Thor nodded. “I really should explain.”

Jane looked very happy at this. “I'll get it started and we can go!” She said excitedly and hopped into the driver's side.

I walked with Thor over to the passenger side and turned him away from both Jane and the agent still watching us. “Give her this. It's her personal journal.” I whispered and slipped the little black book into his jacket.

Thor beamed a smile at me and then hugged me tightly. “You are a great friend, John! She will be so happy!”

“I know.” I said. “See you back at her place.”

Thor nodded and climbed into the passenger side of the vehicle and Jane did as I said, she had to back up, made a mess as she turned the awkward vehicle around, then she sped off with Thor without even looking back at me.

“That must have hurt to give that up.” Agent Coulson said from beside me.

“It really did.” I said and turned to him. “Nice stealth move, by the way.”

Agent Coulson smiled slightly and blanked his face again. “I should arrest you for stealing it.”

“The original is still in the secured area.” I said and his eyes widened slightly. “It's a copy.”

“How did you get it?” Agent Coulson asked.

“Trade secret.” I said. “By the way, how do I contact you?”

“You don't. We find you.” Agent Coulson said.

I chuckled. “Nice.” I said and pulled a small communicator from my pocket to hand to him. “My name's John Hansen. Good luck finding any electronic records of me.”

“Your name's not really Donald Duck?” Agent Coulson asked with a straight face.

I laughed and put a hand on his shoulder as I used the Force to touch everything in his pockets. “I just couldn't resist.”

“You need a lot more scrawl to pull it off. The loops were a nice touch.”

“I thought so, too.” I said. “If anything happens or you need me for anything, call me.”

“I'm sure I'll think of some reason to call someday.” Agent Coulson looked down at the small mechanical thing in his hand.

“I have a much better version of that; but, I can't advance your tech too much, can I?” I said and walked over to the Hummer.

“What do you mean by that?” Agent Coulson asked.

I laughed and stood up on the Hummer's door runner to look at him over the top of the vehicle. “Have your people analyze the metal it's made from.” I said and climbed into the Hummer. I honked the horn at him as I drove out of my parking spot and then I stepped on the gas.

About halfway back to the town, I pulled off of the road and started to recreate Jane's equipment. I packed as much of it inside the Hummer as I could and stacked the rest on top and secured it with straps. I used the Force to create a barrier over it to protect it, then drove at a normal speed the rest of the way back to Jane's place.

When I parked, I wasn't surprised to see Jane and Thor were up on the roof and talking animatedly with each other and had her journal open as they looked up at the darkening sky. I stepped out of the Hummer and there was a startled shout from inside the building.

“There you are!” Darcy exclaimed and ran over to me. “Where have you been?”

“I was fulfilling Thor's request to get Jane's equipment back.” I said and waved at the Hummer. “Grab Eric and we can get this stuff back inside and hooked up properly again.”

“Jane's going to be so happy that Thor did this!” Darcy said and kissed me, then she ran inside to get Eric.

*

Life seemed to settle down after that. For the next few weeks, Jane and Thor talked a lot and she showed him her equipment and how it worked. He explained it from his perspective and it gave her more ideas about refining her work.

They really were well suited together and I couldn't help comparing him to myself and her to Padme. We had the same kind of dynamic and seeing her with someone else, hurt more than I thought it should. She wasn't the same person, despite looking identical, and I wasn't the same person or was someone that she needed. I helped out when I could, just because I could. I wasn't necessary, though.

Darcy saw this and she tried to keep me involved with the research, even as she learned a lot more about astrophysics and advanced her own learning. I did my best to support her, too.

I really need to figure out what I am supposed to be here for. I thought and looked over at Jane sitting with Thor at the table. No, that can't be it. She already has someone else.

A ruckus started to happen on the main street as people started talking loudly and pointed.

Only I noticed this, since I was leaning by the door.

“It's a beautiful theory, Jane.” Eric said as he drank a cup of coffee. “You won't be able to convince the scientific community about any of it. Not without hard evidence.”

Just then, a knock came on the glass doors.

“BONYOU!” A large bearded man shouted through the door. He stood there with two other men and a very beautiful woman.

Thor looked up and saw them as Eric dropped his cup with a smash. “My friends!”

The four people entered the place and Thor greeted them enthusiastically. Darcy's mouth hung open in shock.

“I don't believe it.” Eric whispered.

“Oh! Excuse me.” The bearded man said and bowed slightly. “This is Lady Sif and the Warriors Three.”

“My friends, I've never been happier to see anyone; but, you should not have come.” Thor said.

The three men chuckled.

“We're here to take you home.” The blond one said.

“You know I can't go home. My father banished me.” Thor said. “I must remain in exile.”

“Thor, you don't understand.” Lady Sif said. “Odin has fallen into Odinsleep and your brother has assumed the throne.”

“He is ruling the place like it's his own little kingdom.” The bearded man said and the others looked at him. “Yes, I know what that sounded like. It's still true.”

“You have to come back with us and help us deal with your brother.” Lady Sif said.

Just then, several screams were heard from outside. We all went to the doors and opened them to look out at the swirling thundercloud. The townspeople thought it might be a tornado and panicked a little. The people around me knew differently as the cloud touched down and there was a loud thump sound that quickly reached us.

“Was someone else coming?” Darcy asked and the Warriors Three shook their heads as the cloud dispersed. It was too far away to see what came out of it. The sounds of explosions and the black smoke could be seen, which meant it wasn't good, whatever it was.

“Jane, you must leave.” Thor said.

“What are you going to do?” Jane asked.

“Thor's going to fight with us!” The bearded man exclaimed.

“My friends.” Thor said and clapped him on the shoulder. “I am just a man. I will only get in the way, or worse, get one of you killed.” He said and waved his arm. “But, I can help get these people to safety.”

“Well, if you're staying, then so am I.” Jane said.

Thor smiled at her. “We need some time.”

“You'll have it!” The blond man exclaimed and they all scattered.

I stood there for a moment to assess the situation.

“Get moving people!” Darcy shouted and the town evacuation began.

Less than ten minutes later, as people scrambled for vehicles to flee in, a twenty foot tall metal man strode into town. Its face seemed to light up and then an energy blast shot out of the face and blew up the liquor store.

“NOOOOO!” Some random man shouted, then ran away as the metal giant blew up a car nearby.

“Keep it distracted.” Lady Sif said and took off running to gain a better vantage point and the Warriors Three walked down the main street toward the enemy.

The giant metal monstrosity paused in its walking and blasted a gas station, which exploded into a huge fireball and lit several nearby buildings on fire. It strode out of the blast, completely unhurt.

“I wished I could do that for a long time.” I whispered as I created another vehicle for the last group of people to flee in. “Go! Go!” I said and they climbed in and drove off. I ran over to where the others had gathered to watch the fight.

Two of the warriors ran ahead and then waved to the bearded man. He laughed and ran forward as his two friends grabbed him and threw him at the giant metal man.

“RAAHHHH!” The bearded man yelled and hefted his axe to strike... and the metal man punched him and he flew off to the side to slam into an abandoned vehicle.

The giant metal man approached the downed Warrior and bent over slightly as it charged up its face beam. Lady Sif jumped from the roof of a nearby building, soared across the street, and landed on its back to jam a long metal spear through the back of the thing's throat and lodged the spear's end into the pavement.

The metal giant seemed to power down as it slumped over, and Lady Sif looked pleased.

Before she could gloat over the glorious kill, the metal man seemed to glow internally and then its hands folded backwards and its arms started shifting the metal plates around. The chest and legs shifted next as the head turned all the way around to point the glowing face at Lady Sif.

*BSSSSHHHH!*

Lady Sif lunged to the side and avoided the blast and fell to the pavement with a grunt. “RUN!”

The giant metal man stood up, leaving the spear in the pavement where it was, and resumed its walk through the town. The face glowed again and I could see it was aiming for the one that hurt it.

“Dammit!” I shouted and ran forward.

“JOHN!” Darcy yelled.

“No! Get back!” Lady Sif shouted and waved me away as the metal monstrosity let another blast go, only it was a solid beam this time and it dragged it across the pavement right towards her.

I dove forward and activated my personal shield device as I tackled her to the pavement. The beam hit us and stayed there, concentrating it on us.

Lady Sif stared at me with wide eyes as the bright beam failed to kill us.

“The shield's only going to last for another few seconds.” I said as my belt started to spark. “I hope your friends are good at catching!”

“What do you...” Lady Sif started to say as I picked her up. “...MEAN?” She yelled as I threw her and the shield failed at the same time.

*KABOOOM!*

“NO!” Darcy yelled as I was thrown across the street and through the plate glass windows of the diner.

“Go! Now! Run!” Thor said to Jane, Darcy, and Eric. The four of them tried to run away as the metal man's next shot hit the Warriors Three holding Lady Sif. The street below them blew up and scattered them in different directions as windows blew out over most of the street. I opened my eyes and saw Thor talking to an injured Lady Sif.

I pulled myself over to the diner's empty window and heard the Warriors Three saying they needed to fall back and took everyone with them. I sighed with relief that I hadn't moved on during that explosion and leaned against the wall. I hadn't been a crispy critter or had most of my bones broken in a long time, either. I had forgotten how much it hurt.

I used the Force to push out all the glass and metal shrapnel from my broken body and applied dozens of needles to try and heal myself. I sat there and cast spells on myself as I watched Thor walk confidently down the street towards the metal giant.

“Brother, whatever I have done, however I have wronged you, I am truly sorry.” Thor said. “But, these people are innocent. Taking their lives will gain you nothing.”

The metal giant stopped walking and powered up the face beam again.

“So, take mine and end this.” Thor said, his voice full of resolve.

I tried to stand and my legs were still shattered. “Dammit!” I shouted and collapsed. I had to use the Force to put my bones back into place and used more bacta injections. I didn't have a direct shot at the thing, either. I couldn't take the chance of hitting Thor.

The street wasn't wide enough to summon a Firefly and a droid tank might not damage the thing. I thought hard about the people and things I could create and then it hit me.

“Battle Droids!” I gasped and started summoning them. “Their heavy plasma rifles should do some damage!”

“NOOOO!” Jane yelled and I saw Thor being thrown twenty feet or so away from the giant metal man. She ran over to Thor and they mumbled a few words, then Thor stopped breathing. Jane started crying and I saw the giant metal monstrosity walk away.

Was this it? Did I just screw up why I was here? I asked myself as the bones in my legs finished knitting together and healed. I had ten droids now and I wasn't sure what to do with them.

A loud whistling sound came from the sky and I looked out to see something approaching at a great speed.

“Jane! Come on!” Eric grabbed her and dragged her away.

“Jesus.” I whispered and stood up as my damaged skin and flesh reformed around me.

Thor's hand shot up from the ground and caught Mjolnir as a massive bolt of lightning slammed into it and Thor's body. The bolt widened as Thor was slowly covered in metal plates and scales, almost like armor, then Thor slowly stood up.

The Warriors Three cheered and Lady Sif looked very pleased at having her friend back.

“Oh. My. God.” Jane said, her face full of disbelief.

Thor stood there, in all his glory, as the giant metal man turned around. The face opened again to blast him and Thor's hammer hit it and directed it into the ground, then another strike sent the metal man flying a dozen feet away and knocked it to the ground.

A storm started to form above the town and I realized that this was my chance and cast Notice-Me-Not charms on the droids and myself.

“Activate shields and go!” I said to the droids and formed my Firefly outfit around me as I jumped out of the diner to follow them. Their shots peppered the metal giant and burned holes through the metal skin. It was neat to see that there was nothing inside, which meant it was either completely magical, or the tech was miniaturized to the point that it would be indistinguishable from magic.

I ran over to it as Thor whipped his hammer in a fast circle and flew up into the middle of the storm. I knelt and touched the thing, gained an image of 'Destroyer', and created a lightsaber. I copied Lady Sif's idea and stabbed it in the joints. The neck, the shoulders, the elbows, the hips, and the knees.

The damn thing shifted again, moved new metal into the joints, then it started to stand up as it powered up its face weapon again. I reformed my personal shield just as the beam hit the pavement under me and blew me and the droids away. It had already learned to not bother hitting me directly.

Thor gestured to the giant metal man and the storm grew as the wind picked up. The thing looked confused as it was easily lifted from the ground and up into the air. It tried, quite fruitlessly, to shoot Thor with its face beams. Thor wasn't having any more of that and flew down to slam Mjolnir right into the thing's faceplate and crumpled the head, cutting off its attack and apparently knocking it out.

The giant metal man fell onto the street, created a nice sized crater, and Thor walked out of the middle of the storm as it dissipated and faded away. My droids took advantage of this and continued to pepper the giant metal man full of holes and I used my lightsaber to chop it up at all the joints; feet, knees, hips, shoulders, elbows, and wrists.

Agent Coulson's car skidded to a stop near Thor and the others down the street. As he got out, he saw Thor taking a happy looking Jane into his embrace. “You need to be debriefed!” He shouted as Thor used Mjolnir to fly away. “Dammit.”

I quickly dismissed the droids and my lightsaber as I walked over to everyone and dropped my Notice-Me-Not spell.

“JOHN!” Darcy yelled and jumped into my arms. “I thought you were dead!”

“I get that a lot.” I said and kissed her. “What did I miss?”

“Everything!” Darcy said.

“We have to follow Thor.” Lady Sif said and gave me a pointed look. “How did you survive?”

“I'm tougher than I look.” I said and pointed to the Hummer. “I'll drive.”

“You need to be debriefed!” Agent Coulson exclaimed.

“Well, come along.” I said and he looked surprised. “You can even ride up front.”

“Thank you.” Agent Coulson said. “Men, secure the alien wreckage.”

“Preferably in separate boxes and shipped separately.” I commented.

“Good point.” Agent Coulson said and nodded to the men.

The Asgardians, Agent Coulson, and I climbed into the Hummer and Darcy and Eric took Jane's vehicle. I drove out of town towards the site that Thor had originally come from and Darcy followed me. Agent Coulson asked a bunch of questions and we answered as best as we could. There was no reason to lie, not with everyone seeing what had happened.

I did keep most of my antics out of it, except for saving Lady Sif. That seemed to make her uncomfortable and I was sure I knew why. I parked the Hummer and Darcy parked beside me before we all climbed out. Thor and Jane were standing at the site and were discussing something, then stopped when they saw us.

“We must return quickly.” Thor said to his Asgardian friends and the Warriors Three and Lady Sif quickly bid us farewell and went over to where the muddled designs were still in the sand.

“Do you really have to go?” Jane asked.

“I give you my word that I will return for you.” Thor said and kissed her hand. Jane stared into his eyes for several seconds, then she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.

I didn't want to watch that, so I walked over to Lady Sif.

“What do you want?” Lady Sif asked, a little confrontational.

“I want to apologize.” I said and her eyes widened slightly. “I shouldn't assume that a warrior of your stature would need saving. I let my own desire to protect you override my common sense.”

Lady Sif's entire demeanor changed and she quickly gazed at me from head to foot. “I may have overreacted as well. You were only being chivalrous.”

I gave her a crooked smile. “I can't help myself by protecting beautiful young ladies.”

Lady Sif blushed slightly. “You obviously know nothing about Asgardian ages.”

I took her hand and gave it a gentle kiss. “When you've lived for a million years, I won't consider you young anymore.”

Lady Sif's mouth dropped open from shock and I walked back over to the others.

Thor and Jane reluctantly broke their kiss, stared into each other's eyes, then Thor let her go and walked over to his friends. He called for Heimdal and the storm cloud formed and swirled.

“Farewell.” He said to us, nodded at me, and the Bifrost Bridge opened up and sucked them into it.

Jane stared at the spot and then looked up into the now clear sky. “He's gone. He's really gone.”

I chuckled and she turned to glare at me.

“What's so funny?” Jane asked.

“Are you an astrophysicist or not?” I asked her and she caught her breath. “What was all that research for, anyway?”

“You're right!” Jane exclaimed and looked at Eric and Darcy. “Let's go! We have a lot of work to do!”

“I need a ride back.” Agent Coulson said.

I nodded and gave Darcy a kiss. “I'll see you later.”

“You better.” Darcy said and ran over to Jane's vehicle. It drove away, almost frantically.

“You know, I still can't figure out what that thing she's driving is.” I said and walked over to my Hummer.

Agent Coulson climbed in beside me. “I don't think there's an official name for it.”

I started the Hummer up and put it into gear. “I see you had a bit of trouble out here.”

“You could say that.” Agent Coulson said.

“You didn't write. You didn't call.” I joked and he smiled slightly.

“They broke your communicator trying to take it apart.” Agent Coulson admitted.

“That's why I didn't tell you it would break if you opened it.” I said.

“Standard procedure?” He asked and I nodded. “Understandable.”

We were quiet for a few minutes before he spoke again.

“You wouldn't happen to know why the debris in orbit started clearing up after you and Thor arrived, do you?” Agent Coulson asked.

“Do you really want me to tell the truth?” I asked.

“If it wouldn't compromise my personal safety or that of the people of Earth, yes.”

I smiled. “Nice qualifiers there.”

“I try.” Agent Coulson said.

“I call them harvesters. They gather up things in space and convert them into usable materials.”

“Anything in space?” Agent Coulson asked.

I chuckled at the implied threat he thought they could cause. “They are set to remove any non-functioning mechanical device, debris, parts, and anything else that's not supposed to be in orbit.”

“How long will it take?”

“About four months. I started them around the ISS and they are working their way out from there. When they are done with the high orbital area next month, they'll move to the mid and low orbits to clear the space out completely.”

“You're giving me a lot of information there.” Agent Coulson said. “Aren't you worried we'll catch one and figure it out?”

I laughed. “If you can somehow figure out how to make them visible again, as soon as you try to open them up, they'll blow themselves apart for self-preservation.”

“So, they're autonomous.”

“Almost completely.” I said. “Plus, even if you did somehow reverse engineer them, what good would they be to you? I already have enough to clear out the orbital space around the whole planet. What would you do with making more? Let them float around and become more debris?”

“That's a good point.” Agent Coulson said. “What other technology do you have access to?”

“Are you sure you want to know that?” I asked him.

“I reiterate my previous statement about safety.” Agent Coulson said.

“Well, there goes me telling you about power generators the size of your head that last for hundreds of years and give off no radiation.” I said and saw his surprised face, which made me laugh. “They are easily converted into bombs.”

“Oh.” Agent Coulson said. “Yes, that would be bad.”

“Extremely.” I said. “It's the same with the personal shields and energy shields for vehicles. One good hit to the power systems and kablooie.”

“Is there anything you can give me?” Agent Coulson said.

“Sure.” I said and pretended to reach behind his seat and created a Stun Gun that I had made for the Stargate program. “Here you go. I even disabled the failsafes.”

Agent Coulson took it gingerly. “What is it?”

“It's a Stun Gun.”

“We have those.”

I chuckled. “No, I mean it literally shoots a stun beam of light to hit individual targets up to 500 feet away accurately and groups at twice that.”

“You're kidding.”

“Not even a little bit. It's also completely made with Earth materials that can be easily reproduced.”

“It's not from Earth?” He asked.

“Not the original design, no. I had to work on it for a while to get it to work like that.” I said and handed him a pamphlet for it.

“How many more of these do you have?” Agent Coulson said and quickly read through the pamphlet.

“That's a copy of the prototype. I would need time and resources to set up an automated factory for it.”

“Wait, an automated factory?” He asked, once again surprised.

“Sure. Once you get the materials set up to be dumped into the reclamation bins, it makes the materials it needs and constructs them.”

“Reclamation bins?”

I handed him another pamphlet and he devoured it.

“I need to talk to my boss about all of this.” Agent Coulson said and then smiled. “He will definitely agree with the reclamation bins. You don't realize how much waste an aircraft carrier produces.”

“You can throw anything into them. Metal, plastic, glass... and biological matter.” I said and his eyebrows raised. “I'm just letting you know to keep a security camera on it at all times.”

“Thanks for letting me know.” Agent Coulson said, a bit wearily.

I chuckled. “Relax. I've never had to use it for that. It was set up near a cafeteria where I was working before and they threw everything in there, including broken dishes and an old live chicken.”

“Excuse me?” Agent Coulson asked. “Did you just say a live chicken?”

“It was old and no good for either eggs or meat.” I said.

“Why would you...”

“Oh, it wasn't me. The kitchen staff did it. When I found out later, they lost the privilege of using it for two weeks.” I smiled at the remembered result. “Everyone refused to eat in the cafeteria by the end of it and begged me to let the staff dispose of the garbage that had built up.”

Agent Coulson smiled and nodded.

“It makes concrete bricks as a by-product, too.” I said and drove into town.

Agent Coulson huffed. “Of course it does.”

“Hey, I put the local hardware store out of business because they wouldn't believe me or sell them for me.” I said with a grin.

“Ha! Okay, now I believe it.” Agent Coulson said as I came to a stop beside several other vehicles. “You wouldn't happen to have...”

I reached behind the seat and produced a case for the gun.

“Thank you.” He said and put the gun inside with the two pamphlets. “By the way...”

I held out another communications device. “You can take this one apart.” I said and passed him a comm badge from Voyager. “This one's for you.”

Agent Coulson stared at it for a minute and then looked at me.

I opened my coat and showed him the one I wore. “Just tap it and say my name and who you are. Like this.” I tapped my comm badge. “John to Agent Coulson.”

My voice came out of his at almost the same time.

“To end the call, tap it again.” My voice said from my mouth and his comm badge, and I tapped mine to end it. “That one will melt if you tamper with it.”

“How does it work?” He asked.

“It's an intraphasic static signal that uses subspace relays to quantify and boost the wavelength of the broadcast. Once a link is established, two way communication happens. It's usually polite to talk in turns, just so you don't miss anything in the conversation.” I said, completely making it up off the top of my head. I had no idea how it actually worked, just that it did. I didn't want to say that, though.

Agent Coulson blinked his eyes at me and looked speechless.

“It'll work from here to about halfway to Mars without a relay.” I added to distract him.

“Mars.” Agent Coulson whispered.

“Only halfway. I haven't been here long enough to send out a few little gifts for the astrological community to use.”

“Like what?”

“Live feeds of the Martian surface, for one.” I said and his eyebrows rose again. “They're not ready for more than that yet. At least I don't think so. I'll need to look into that.”

Agent Coulson sat there and stared at me. A knock came on his window and he rolled it down.

“Sir, we've got the... pieces of the thing... loaded up onto three separate trucks.”

“I'll be right over to ride with the lead vehicle.” Agent Coulson said.

“Yes, sir.” The man said and walked away.

“Good luck.” I said as he opened the door and he picked up the case with the gun inside. “Try to not hurt yourself explaining all of this.”

“My report is going to be very groundbreaking.” He said and stepped down to the ground.

“Ha! Because the Destroyer broke all that ground. Nice one.”

“Is that what it was called?” Agent Coulson asked.

“I'm pretty sure. I think Thor might have mentioned it. Or one of the other Asgardians. It's all been kind of a rush.” I said to cover up the fact that I had an image of the thing in my head and got the name from that.

“Of course.” Agent Coulson said. “I'll contact you as soon as I know anything.”

I nodded and he shut the door. I drove down a side street and came back to the place Jane was staying at. Inside was a flurry of activity, as I knew it would be. I wasn't even noticed as I entered and sat down off to the side. They were in brainstorming mode and I would only be in the way if I tried to insert myself into the conversation.

I cast a silence spell around myself and created a security panel. It beeped happily at me and I chuckled. “Yes, you can have fun while you give me a sit-rep on the Earth's technology level and perhaps let me have a clue where I am.”

“Beep boopboop.”

I laughed. “Yes, little buddy. I know you can't tell me exactly where in space-time. Even you can't get that level of access.”

“Beep.”

“Yeah.” I said and sighed. “I thought helping Thor go back home was what I was here to do, except...” I looked over to where Jane was bent over one of her pieces of equipment that had gotten some great readings of the storms that had been in the area. “...I get the feeling that I'm supposed to be here for her. The problem is, she is definitely in love with Thor and won't give me the time of day.”

“Boop beep.”

“I know, I know. Unrequited love sucks, doesn't it?” I asked and sat back before I looked at the display. “Well, the local tech level is almost non-existent. The bigger cities are much more modernized and have a few extra things. That's good to know.” I said and looked through the space program of different countries. “Okay, that's pretty pathetic.”

“Beep. Boop beep beep.”

“You think they're holding it back on purpose?” I asked and it beeped again. “That could mean one of two things. One, they are cheap bastards and don't want to go into space. Two, they are too scared to go into space because of what's out there.”

“Beep.”

“Yeah, with what we all just went through, I'm leaning pretty heavily towards number two as well.” I said and kept browsing around the internet. I was looking for anything important or significant that had happened in the recent past. Nothing came up, so I closed the search function and glanced around the place.

The three of them were still in a heated debate about something, so I slipped Eye behind my back under the coat and cancelled the silence spell.

“I'm telling you that you'll be famous if you publish this.” Eric said.

“I don't want to be famous for my theories. I want it to actually work.” Jane said.

“You would need an immense aperture apparatus, about ten nuclear power plants to power the thing, and a focusing object the size of a building.” I said.

Eric, Jane, and Darcy stared at me with their mouths open.

“That's especially true if you don't have a receiving object to catch the other end of the wormhole. The math needed with two apertures is ridiculous already. Trying to figure out how to do it with without the actual destination? Yeah, no thanks.” I said and walked over to the door. “I'm going out to help clean up the town. See you later.”

They didn't stop me as I left and I walked down the street towards the closest damaged area. I would need to kind of cheat and not do anything openly besides physically moving things someone my size and strength could normally move. I needed to wait until dark to do the real repairs.

As I started clearing out some of the debris to load onto a nearby truck to vanish later, I saw several people were watching me. That didn't bother me. It was that one guy with a penetrating stare. I didn't let him know I saw him and kept working as I used the Force to send out a thin tendril to him. The image 'Hawkeye' appeared in my head and he was a sharpshooter with an uncanny ability to hit impossible targets.

I immediately copied it and used the Force to find anything he carried on him, which was nothing. I knew then that he worked for Agent Coulson. Or Coulson's boss. No one would be around the town without something in their pockets, unless they were up to something. That thought made me laugh, because I didn't have anything in my pockets, either.

“Something funny about all this destruction, mister?” A man asked as he walked over to me. “By the way, that's my truck you're loading up.”

“I was just thinking that if I had to do all this by myself, I should just buy the town and hire others to do it for me.” I said with a grin.

“You've got a spare hundred bucks? That's about all this town's worth now.” The man said and laughed.

“John Hansen.” I said and held a hand out to shake the man's hand. “I'll pay for the wear and tear on the truck. Or if you want, I'll fix it for free.”

“Jesus, really?” The man asked and shook my hand. “Dave Farland.”

“It's nice to meet you, Dave. I'm a mechanic and I can fix anything.” I said and handed him a small chunk of concrete. “Make yourself useful and help me clean this place up for thirty bucks an hour.”

Dave laughed as he grabbed the debris and chucked it into the bed of the truck. “You're actually gonna buy the town?” He said, continuing the joke. “Good for you!”

“Did I hear someone say they're paying for a clean-up crew at thirty bucks an hour?” Another man asked from twenty feet away.

“He sure did!” Dave said and laughed.

“I'll be right back!” The other man said and ran off.

“You're in for it now.” Dave said and grabbed some more debris.

“Only if more than a hundred people show up at once.” I joked and kept working.

Ten minutes later, about a quarter of the town's population showed up in hundreds of vehicles. Puente Antiquo had a population of 2,175 residents, which meant about 540 people showed up. Dave burst out laughing and then he kept laughing as I was asked to provide proof of payment.

I reached into my pocket and used one of my gold jewels and their special ability to create local currency. I pulled out a huge wad of cash and unfolded it to wave it around. Everyone cheered and started to work immediately.

“Be careful! Any large things, multiple people move it or just leave it where it is and I'll get it later!” I shouted and everyone waved. “This is just to clear the streets of debris! If you own a shop, take people aside and get them to help you clean up inside!”

“Who's going to pay for the damages?” Someone asked.

“I am!” I said and everyone started talking. “I'm buying the whole town!”

They all started laughing.

“You're a real kidder, mister.” One of the men said and started loading another truck with debris.

I looked at Dave and he was still laughing at me. “I'm not paying you to laugh.”

“HA HA!” Dave laughed and started working again.

It took three hours to get all of the smaller debris loaded onto trucks. Everyone looked happy to have most of the mess cleaned up, except for the huge chunks of concrete and pavement and the burned out cars.

“You all did a great job, everyone.” I said as they all gathered around.

“It was over too quick.” Someone said and a lot of people agreed.

“I'm throwing in a bonus for that.” I said and they all started talking and asking how much. “Form a line and get your donations.”

“Donations? I thought we were getting paid?” Someone asked as they lined up.

“You don't pay taxes on donations.” I responded and everyone cheered.

I gave everyone two hundred dollars, Dave included, and I told the ones with truck loads to bring them over to Jane's place and I would unload them out back and would fix their trucks during the weekend.

They all thanked me and I said that they should thank themselves for helping to clean up their town. It made them proud of accomplishing such a task so quickly and they all went home, except for the trucks and their loads. I really did unload them myself and told them to come back on the weekend to get the trucks fixed, free of charge. They left happy, too.

“I don't see a garage around here for you to fix them in.” Darcy said from the back door.

“I'll have one built and ready by the weekend.” I said and walked over to her. “How's your brain? Is it thoroughly crushed by astrology signs?”

Darcy laughed. “You better not joke about that with Jane. She'll...” She let out a shriek when I tried to hug her. “Shower first!”

I chuckled and puckered my lips.

“They don't look too dirty.” Darcy said and gave me a quick kiss.

“You do remember what I did with them last night, don't you?” I asked with a grin.

Darcy blushed. “G-g-go!”

I laughed and walked by her and went to her room to shower. I was halfway done when she entered and she looked up my face. I cupped hers with my hands and gently kissed her, then I picked her up and pressed her to the shower stall wall and made love to her right there.

*

The entire town was shocked when they got up the next day and everything was fixed. The wrecked and burned out cars were replaced, the craters were filled in and covered as if they were never there, and the poles and wires were all reconnected. It wasn't until the owners of businesses went to their wrecked places that they saw those were all repaired as well. In fact, everything seemed brand new.

“Somebody call the mayor.” Someone said and a dozen people ran off to do that.

Only one person took a small device out of his pocket and called someone else.

*

“So, John.” Darcy said as she cuddled into my chest after we had morning sex. “When are you leaving?”

I took a deep breath and let it out. “Honestly? I don't know. If I had some idea of why I was here, since Thor was obviously not why... even if I was caught in the Bifrost's effects... I could tell you how long I needed to stay.” I said and lifted her head. “Now ask me if I want to stay with you.”

Darcy opened her mouth to ask, then sighed. “I don't know if I want to know.”

I smiled and gave her a tender kiss. “I'm fiercely monogamous, just so you know.”

“You are?” Darcy looked down at my chest and back at my face. “You're a little too hot to only have one girl on the go.”

I had to laugh at her opinion. “It took me a long time to get my body to this stage.” I said and gave her another kiss. “I've been in questionable relationships before; but, I usually find one woman to spend my time with and I stay with her for as long as I can... or until she's tired of me or tosses me aside.”

“Who in their right mind would ever toss you aside?” Darcy asked.

“Someone who was shortsighted and didn't realize the potential of having me around.”

“Do you mean the tongue thing or the foot massages?” Darcy asked with a pleading look.

“It's the riches and never having to be alone for the rest of their lives.”

“You're rich?” Darcy asked as I rolled her over and moved down her body.

“Of course I am. I have you.” I said and dove between her legs.

“I'm rich, too! I'M RICH, TOO!” Darcy yelled and had the next of many orgasms.

*

Two days later, SHIELD agents were all over the place and had scanning equipment and other things moving around the area. They checked everything that had been fixed or replaced.

Darcy and I sat on the roof of Jane's rented building with our feet hanging down as we watched them.

“You're not going to tell them it was you, are you?” Darcy asked.

“Nope.” I said and hugged her with one arm.

“Why not?”

“They'll want me to fix everything they have and probably only in certain areas.” I said and she looked surprised. “I can't be everywhere at once. I'll probably only be brought in for the major disasters that SHIELD agents were involved in.”

“Oh. They would keep you locked up.”

“You got it.” I said. “How do you like the new eyes?”

“I'm still speechless that you fixed them in under ten seconds.” Darcy said. “These sexy new glasses are awesome, too.”

“What are they telling you about the people in front of us?”

“The usual. Shield agent. Secret Hydra agent. Aim agent. Traitor. Thief.” Darcy said and showed me the datapad with her observations on it. “Poor Phil. He's been working his ass off rotating the men out for us to check them.”

I chuckled and told Eye to send the latest data to the datapad I had given to Agent Coulson the day before when we found the first secret agents infiltrating their supposedly secret agency.

“Ooo, here comes the big boss man.” Darcy said and pointed to a black SUV as it drove around the search teams.

“What's his name again?”

“Nick Fury.” Darcy said and gave my cheek a kiss. “Just form your sunglasses and look for yourself.”

“Nah, where's the fun in that?” I said and turned my head to kiss her on the lips. “I've got you to watch over me. I'll be fine.”

Darcy grinned at me and moved my arm off of her shoulders, then she pushed me off the roof.

“HEY!” I shouted as I flipped over the edge and then fell down and slammed into the pavement in front of the place.

“What? You're fine!” Darcy said and laughed.

“So cheeky.” I said as stood up to brush the dust off.

The black SUV came to a stop beside me.

“I give that landing a three out of ten.” A tall black man with one eye said as he stepped out of the passenger side.

“Yeah, I didn't expect the half-gainer either.” I said and turned to face him with my hand out to shake. “How do you do? I'm John Hansen.”

“I know.” Fury said and ignored my hand. “I came to talk about your inventions.”

I smiled as I used the Force to touch him anyway. “How many men have been shooting themselves or others with the prototype Stun Gun?”

Fury gave me a pointed look. “You knew that would happen?”

“Of course. A non-injury causing stun weapon that doesn't give headaches or hurts? They had to try it out for themselves when your tech guys were done with it.”

“I'm tempted to not have you build the factory, just because of that.” Fury said.

“Just wait until the first group gets them. You'll be severely lacking personnel for about half a day.” I said with a grin.

Darcy laughed from the roof and I waved to her.

“I'm really interested in your matter converters.” Fury said.

“I know.” I said and motioned to the garage on the side of the building that I had created the night before. “Step into my office.”

Fury looked around before he entered. “This is just a garage.”

I barked a laugh. “You were expecting a high tech lab?”

“Actually, yes.” Fury said.

“It's in the back.” I said and walked over to the back wall. “Do your men want to come in to keep an eye on you? The door has to close for the back wall to open.”

Fury gave me a look, then did some hand signals at the men in the SUV. One came over to him and he nodded at me. I didn't bother telling him I knew all about military hand signals.

“S, H, A!” Darcy shouted.

“Thanks, Honey!” I shouted back and hit the switch. The outer door closed and I pretended to pick up a tool and formed a Stun Gun. I shot the guard and Fury rolled to the side and had a pistol out and pointed at me.

“Drop. The. Weapon.” Fury said in a deadly voice.

“Sure. The Secret Hydra Agent's been dealt with.” I said and tossed the Stun Gun onto the table I pretended to get it from. The back wall opened up and Fury had a hard time keeping me in sight and not staring at the lab.

“Welcome to testing central.” I said and walked inside as I ignored Fury's gun. “It's not surprising that physics is slightly different here than where I come from.”

“Coulson was right? You aren't from here, as in this planet?” Fury asked.

I chuckled. “I knew he would figure it out. There were too many clues for him to not speculate.” I said and a medical droid handed me a datapad. “On the plus side, the bacta is only reduced to 90% efficiency. I'll have to tweak it a bit to work better here.”

“What's bacta?” Fury asked as he walked into the lab with his gun still drawn.

“It's a biomedical fluid used to speed up healing in biological specimens.” I said and smiled at him. “If you want, I can give you your real eye back as a test.”

Fury gave me a pointed look.

“No? How about an upgrade?” I asked and walked over to one of the lab tables and opened one of the drawers. “Brown, brown, brown... ah, here we are.” I said and picked out a little clear container with a floating eyeball inside. I walked over to him and held it out. “Just pop your eye out and slip this one in. It takes a few minutes to make the right connections, so it'll be blurry for a while.”

“You're kidding me.”

“No.” I said and another medical droid handed me the manual for it. “This is how you work it.”

Fury stared at the half-inch thick manual.

“It's in default mode, so you need to read the manual to learn how to unlock the advanced features.” I said with a knowing smile. “No cheating and getting it all at once.”

“You're really giving me a working eye?” Fury asked and he still hadn't holstered the pistol.

“It's mechanical and not biological.” I said and didn't bother telling him that I had adapted it from both a Terminator's and Android 16's mechanical eyes. That wasn't essential information. “It still works by interpreting electrical signals from the brain.”

“I'll need my guys to look at it first.” Fury said.

“The internal components will melt as soon as you try to open it.” I said and put it down on top of the manual near where he stood. “It's proprietary technology and I can't have anyone stealing it.”

“What about someone putting it into an advanced scanner?” Fury asked and eyed the eye.

“It reads as a real eye, even in an airport security scanner or an x-ray machine. It's designed to pass for human, so have fun with it.” I said and walked over to another table. “A replacement will cost you a hundred thousand dollars.”

Fury let out a curse and that made me laugh.

“How did the rejuvenation test go?” I asked a medical droid.

“Like the bacta, it is only 90% as efficient.” The droid responded.

“Damn, that adds a lot of time to be tanked. We'll have to do more experiments and see if the improved bacta can be adapted when we complete it. Thanks, B5.”

“You're welcome, sir.” B5 said and walked over to the small tank of regeneration fluid.

Fury stared at the thing, then he looked around the lab at the other four droids. “You have a fully working AI?”

“Who doesn't?” I joked and he glared at me. “Sorry, I meant that I have more than one. Each are created individually and become their own existence, even with the same programming.”

“And they're stable? They aren't going to take over the world or anything?”

I barked a laugh. “Of course not. I've dealt with something like that before.” I took a deep breath and let it out.

“Beep! Boop beep beepboop.” Came from my back.

I took Eye out from his protective pouch and pet it. “Yes, his self-sacrifice was worth saving the world and you are a worthy successor.”

“Beep beep.”

I chuckled. “We need to wait for the internet to get a bit better before you can check it for hidden AIs.”

“You can talk to it?” Fury asked. His gun was holstered and the eye and the manual were gone.

“I picked up Droid-speak a long time ago.” I said. “R2 units are the best and the worst.”

A series of beeps and boops came from my comm badge.

I tapped it. “What am I supposed to say, R2? You are the best and worst!”

“Beep booooop beep.”

I laughed. “You're right. I can be, too.”

“You have an AI in something that small?” Fury asked, surprised.

“What? No, R2's out back in the ship. He doesn't roam around much, so I leave a comm signal open for him and the others to listen to.”

Fury stood there and digested that tidbit of information. “You don't mean a sailing ship, do you?”

“Maybe for the sea of stars.” I said and R2 beeped at me. “I know. I hate that we have to map the thing out again because it's so different.”

“Map what again?” Fury asked.

“The galaxy, of course.” I said and he looked stunned. “I wouldn't suggest telling your bosses that. They're scared enough about going out there without actual confirmation that there's actually something out there.”

“Are you from... out there?”

I shook my head. “I was born and raised in Kansas. I was a farm boy and I loved farming.” I sighed. “I say loved, because I've got it down to a science and I can make it self-sustaining in less than a month.”

“You... need to go to the mid-west as soon as possible.” Fury said.

“I've planned a trip for next month with Darcy. She finishes her first college degree this month and she's taking a break before she goes for another.” I smiled. “Astrophysics. Who could have guessed that?”

Fury gave me a look, then he sighed. “We're way off track from why I'm here.”

“Right.” I said and turned to face him. “I assume you want one of the matter converters for testing?”

“Yes, I do.”

“They can't take it apart.” I warned him. “It will self-destruct and consume itself. The effect will spread out and dissolve anything in the room... and probably most of the room as well... before it stops.”

Fury saw the look in my eyes. “Did anyone die?”

“Not that they told me.” I said and gave him a pointed look. “It's not a toy and it can't be weaponized. It is a tool for construction.”

“Not everyone shares that view on tech like this.” Fury said.

“Oh, I know.” I said and handed him a datapad. “Look at that and tell me what you think.”

Fury took the device and started to read. As he did, he shivered a little.

“I had to reconstruct that data from observations only, because the last thing I saw was a small moon disintegrating and nothing was left afterwards when it was converted into its component atoms.”

Fury whispered a curse and handed me back the datapad. “I won't ask for a copy of that. It's too dangerous to just have the data.”

“Yeah.” I said and put the datapad down. “It gives people ideas.”

Fury nodded. “When can you deliver one of them?”

“Next weekend. I'm repairing the trucks we used in the clean-up this weekend.” I said.

Fury nodded and then his face went serious. “Are you responsible for the entire event?”

“Heck, no.” I said. “You saw the thing that did it. It was sent by Thor's brother, whoever that was. Once Thor dealt with the thing, he and his friends left to confront his brother.”

“I meant the clean-up.” Fury said.

“I paid 500 people to work for three hours and we all did it.” I said, truthfully.

“After that?”

“I spent a good portion of the rest of the day emptying the trucks out back.”

Fury squinted his eye at me. “Where is all that debris?”

I smiled and waved a hand around us. “You're standing in it.”

Fury looked around and then back at me. “You converted it.”

“The materials would have been dumped anyway, so I used them.” I said. “What about the gun factory?”

“I'm still debating that.” Fury said.

“Understandable.” I said and motioned to the exit. “I'm also working on adapting special power generators to work here with the slightly different rules for energy conduction. As they are now, the inherent energy is too free flowing and we have to design better resistors to restrict them.”

Fury looked thoughtful as we walked over to the separating space and the wall closed behind us. I hit the switch and the garage door opened.

“I want to ask what you do with all the infiltrating agents, except I honestly don't care. If you're dumb enough to keep them around to use them to feed false information to Hydra and Aim, you deserve to have your organization compromised.” I said.

“Insulting me isn't going to help you.” Fury said and glared at me. “I could shut you down right now and kick you off the planet.”

I smiled. “You don't have the authority to do that.”

“Is that a challenge?” Fury asked.

“No, it's just the truth. I'm a registered citizen without a criminal record, I pay all my taxes, and I own half the businesses in town and I'm silent partners in the rest of them.” I said. “The most you could do is put pressure on the local government officials and the police to harass me. They love me after what happened, so that'll blow up in your face if you try.”

“We'll see.” Fury said.

“If you attack me or my friends, or keep blocking Jane Foster from doing her legitimate research, I'll go to that fancy new helicarrier you're building and I'll reveal it and its stealth capabilities to the world.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Fury responded, his face blank.

“Your computer protections need a lot of updating, by the way. All those Hydra and Aim agents left a bunch of backdoors into the systems of the bases they occupy and especially on the helicarrier. The secret commands to commandeer it for Hydra during a crisis was enlightening, let me tell you.”

Fury stood there and stared at me. He looked quite speechless.

“Let me know if you want new computer cores installed that are unhackable.” I said and picked up the unconscious agent and carried him over to the SUV. “You should disarm him and maybe tie him up. Hydra bad.” I said to the other man and put the Hydra agent in the backseat. “Have a good day.”

Fury kept staring at me as I went inside Jane's place and then as I appeared on the roof and walked over to Darcy.

“That was awkward at the end.” Darcy said as I sat beside her and put an arm around her.

“Yeah, pissing contests seem to be the norm for military organizations.” I responded.

Darcy smiled. “That's because they're usually run by men and they want to measure their dicks. If women ran it...”

“...we would all be wiped out from one of them having a bad hair day.” I joked and she smacked me, then she smiled.

“You're not completely wrong. I can be a real bitch if my hair doesn't behave some days.”

“Now you know why I take care of you every morning.” I said and kissed her.

“I love you, too.” Darcy said and cuddled into my side.

Fury gave me one last little glare before he climbed into the SUV and it drove off.

“You're still going to help him, aren't you?” Darcy asked.

“Of course. I've read SHIELD's mandates and the agent manuals. They really are trying to ensure the safety of the human race from any and all threats, both foreign and domestic. It's just so full of liars and traitors that they are stumbling over their own feet trying to do good while the others stop them from interfering with their organization's plans.”

“It shouldn't be that complicated.” Darcy said. “Shouldn't everyone want to help humanity?”

“It's the 'making a profit while doing it' part that gets them every time.” I said and she nodded. “Isn't it great that I don't need any money?”

Darcy laughed softly. “What was the 'hundred grand for another eye' thing, then?”

“Motivation to at least try it.” I said and put my other arm around her. “If he does try to get them to dismantle it, I'll donate the money to your favorite charity.”

“My awesome hat fund!” Darcy exclaimed and we both laughed.

*

During the summer break while we were in Kansas and I was fixing the farms there, several major events happened. I only slightly regretted that I had been working on fixing the waning food growing situation of the area while things were happening elsewhere. Darcy didn't, though. She liked that I was with her to hold her while two scary monsters wrecked part of New York City.

The other thing that happened was a weapons technology mogul named Tony Stark was kidnapped while in the Middle East. It made me laugh that he would be so arrogant to perform a weapons test near a war-torn area like that. He eventually escaped and then made some kind of armoured suit and went back to that area and took care of things.

The government of the United States did not like that at all. Neither did SHIELD. According to them, Tony had stepped way over the line by taking the law into his own hands and created weapons tech to handle it. That he wouldn't share it with them was what irked them and they tried to force him to hand over his personal property. He refused, of course.

Another company wasn't going to take that, so they committed espionage and stole the plans from Stark and found the son of an old rival of his father's, Ivan Venko, who helped Hammer Industries create an army of drone soldiers. Heavily armed and armoured drone soldiers. They wrecked the Technology Expo and several people were killed in explosions and as collateral damage during the battle.

“The whole world is going crazy.” Darcy whispered as she cuddled into me. We sat on the comfy couch in the living room of the Kent House and watched the latest news reports about how the big green guy called The Hulk had escaped and the other greyish-yellow monster called The Abomination had been captured.

“It's okay, Honey.” I whispered and kissed the top of her head. “I won't let anyone hurt you. Ever.”

Darcy lifted her head to look into my eyes. “You promise?”

“I give you my word that nothing in this universe will ever harm you.” I said and reached into my pocket to pull out the personal shield device I had developed. “This will even protect you from time and space distortions.”

Darcy let me go to hold the grey metal thing that was the size of a belt buckle. “It's pretty ugly.”

I snorted a laugh and kissed her. “That's the base form and it can be changed to disguise it. I can make it look like anything you want, from a bracelet to a brooch.”

Darcy gave me a grateful look. “Thanks, John. Thank you very much.”

“You're mine, Darcy. I'm going to keep you with me for as long as you can stand it.”

“So, forever.” Darcy said.

“Plus a day.” I said with a smile and she looked pleased.

“Beep!” Eye beeped at me.

“Really? Good work!” I praised him and he beeped happily.

“What is it?” Darcy asked.

“He's found the Hulk's energy signature and is tracking him.” I said and she gasped. “I'm not going to go and confront him yet.”

“Oh, okay. Don't scare me like that.” Darcy said and shivered.

I gave her a tender kiss. “My priority is helping you achieve your dreams and the rest of the world can wait.”

“You're too good to me.” Darcy said and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

I picked her up and brought her up the stairs to the main bedroom. I laid her on the bed and she had a look of anticipation on her face. I snapped my fingers and did the trick of switching my clothes for the air near the floor and she stared at my naked body. I did the same to her and let her see me grow instantly hard for her.

“That's so damn flattering every time.” Darcy whispered.

“You're gorgeous.” I said and started kissing my way up her body.

Darcy always loved it when I did that, as if I was worshipping her, so I made sure to spend a good amount of time doing it and letting her know that I would do it for her whenever she allowed me to. When I reached her womanhood, she moaned in anticipation and I smiled at her before I dove between her legs.

Ten minutes later, I wiped off my chin and continued my ascent to her head. I stopped for quite some time when I reached her massive chest and kissed and licked them all over. She had another orgasm from that and I moved on. Her neck was a little ticklish and she liked it when I teased her with just my tongue. I did so for a few minutes and she had a huge smile on her face when I finally reached her mouth.

“I love you so much.” Darcy said and cupped the sides of my face.

“I love you, too.” I said and kissed her passionately.

I knew it was true, because not once had thoughts of Padme or Jane entered my head for the entire time that Darcy and I had been away from her presence. It was the constant sight of her pining over Thor that was bothering me and not that she wasn't mine.

Who needed a doppleganger of my lost love from ages ago when I had a beautiful and sexy woman right in front of me? Right, not me. I could make a Padme clone if I wanted to, and I didn't. She was long gone and Jane was not her. I had forgotten my motto of living my life anew each time I travelled and I couldn't keep lingering on the past.

Two hours later, Darcy was asleep and I left her to go down to sit on the porch in my rocking chair. I stared out at the familiar fields that were already back to full production, thanks to the dozens of families that had practically praised me for saving their livelihoods. I told them the same thing I tell everyone else. I only started things and it would be their hard work that kept it going.

I think it's time to start changing things. I thought and looked up to the sky at the moon. I think a proof of concept is needed before I start on Mars.

It was time to introduce the people of Earth to Naboo environmental domes.

*

Darcy took to meditation and organizing her mind like a duck to water, because she was already really smart and had great mental faculties. When I gave her Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem, she fainted for about ten minutes, then she made love to me for an hour before putting it on. When she did, we spent the rest of the day in bed.

Now, she always wore it under one of her hats and she would randomly walk by me and tell me she loved me before she kissed me soundly and walked away, shaking her ass at me. I always chased her down and we would have sex. Who knew that being smarter made some women hornier?

I finished up in Kansas, to a lot of the local people's disappointment, and I had to shake a lot of hands and hug a lot of women and their kids. Being a local hero was a big thing and Darcy loved the attention. When people waved to us, she would wave back like Queen Elizabeth to make them laugh.

“I think I'm going to miss being here.” Darcy said as we climbed into the Hummer.

“Not having anything to do is a little addictive after being so busy.” I said and started the vehicle up.

“Are we really driving all the way back to New Mexico?” Darcy asked.

“No, I'm just giving the people what they want.” I said and honked the horn.

The gathered crowd to see us off waved and Darcy waved back like the Queen again. They all cheered and applauded as I drove away from the town. Once we were out of sight, I slowed down and apparated the vehicle to a cleared out space behind the Kent Farm and skidded to a stop.

“AHH!” Darcy shouted and slapped my arm. “John! You're supposed to warn me before you do that!”

“Your big beautiful breasts don't jiggle as much if you know beforehand.” I said with a grin on my face.

Darcy glared at me and then sighed. “They aren't beautiful.”

“You and I have very different opinions of beauty, apparently.” I said and climbed out of the Hummer.

Darcy followed me and didn't react as I dissolved the Hummer and created a Firefly.

“All aboard.” I said as the boarding ramp dropped. I led her inside and up to the cockpit, sat her down, and sat beside her. “Back to New Mexico and use the new stealth system.”

The Firefly faded away as the chromium armor used the same technique as the new helicarrier to hide it from sight. We rose up into the air and then flew up into the sky.

“Wow.” Darcy said as we flew near the upper atmosphere and then arced back down. “That was fast.”

“The ship can travel a light year in about 8 seconds when it drops into hyperspace.” I said and she gasped. “We can't really go anywhere until we get a map of the local space.”

“John, you... you're an astrophysicist's dream come true.” Darcy said.

“Would showing you a three dimensional hologram of the complete solar system impress you?” I asked and she moaned a little. “I'll take that as a yes.”

Darcy nodded as we landed behind my garage that didn't look any bigger on the outside, despite being twice as large on the inside. “I've been in the lab. There's nowhere you could have something like that.”

“Not yet.” I said with a smile.

“How long?”

“A couple of hours. Setting up the holomatrix takes a while.” I said and led her from the ship.

“Where?” Darcy asked.

“I'll make another garage. The holodeck needs a lot of room.”

“A... a holodeck.” Darcy whispered. “Like in Star Trek.”

“Exactly.” I said and kissed her. “You go inside and catch up with Jane while I work.”

“O-okay.” Darcy said and went to the door and looked back at me. I waved at her and she waved back, then she went inside.

“Beep boop beep.” Eye said.

“Yeah, I probably should have waited to spring that on her.” I said and cast a Notice-Me-Not charm on the land and then held a hand out to create another garage that was identical to the last one. I entered it and dissolved everything inside, then cast expansion charms to make it twice as big inside, then started creating the components to install.

*

Jane, Eric, and Darcy had stood at the side of the room for nearly twenty minutes and stared at the scaled down model of the entire solar system. They didn't move as a tiny little comet slowly floated by their heads and the tail just missed their faces.

“That's Halley's Comet.” Jane whispered.

“It's in real-time, too.” I said and walked into the thing, making them gasp, as if I was going to disrupt the real planets by moving through their orbits. “All the moons and near-planet objects are here as well.”

“Good god.” Eric whispered and his hand reached out and stopped before touching Pluto. “I could write a dozen papers on this alone.”

“Go ahead.” I said and he looked surprised. “I can download the information onto a datapad for you or give you a thumb-drive to have Jane's computer print it off for you.”

“I would like that very much.” Eric said.

“We're all co-authors!” Darcy exclaimed and Eric chuckled.

“I won't abandon my team.” Eric said.

“How is this possible?” Jane asked.

“Advanced technology from a possible future.” I said and she gave me a pointed look. “No, it's not Asgardian. I haven't been near any of that and I'm not sure I need it.”

“Why?” Jane asked and looked a little perturbed at me dismissing anything having to do with Thor.

“I can already traverse planets if I want to. It just takes more information. I wouldn't mind looking at their Bifrost, though. A wormhole generator that doesn't need a destination receptacle? That's pretty powerful. Of course, I'd have to discover how they are using it, too.”

Jane looked like she would want that as well. “Hold on. You make it sound like you have a way to make it with a fixed end.”

I smiled and shook my head, halfheartedly.

“Those things you said about the math being difficult for fixed positioned wormholes wasn't you just blowing smoke out of your ass?” Jane asked.

“I knew you didn't like me.” I said with a chuckle. “Thanks for the confirmation.”

“I... I didn't say that.” Jane said and looked a little embarrassed.

“You might as well have.” Darcy said and walked over to me to hug me. “You've just been humoring him this whole time, haven't you? You don't want him here.”

Jane gave Darcy a sad look before she sighed. “It's just too difficult to believe that he knows so much about things he shouldn't know about.”

“Yeah? That's what you really think?” Darcy asked and walked over to her. “Is it?”

Jane didn't say anything and only nodded.

Darcy pulled off her hat and Jane gasped at the diamond encrusted tiara she wore. “Try this on.” She said and pulled it off. She seemed to slouch slightly. “That thing is really addictive.”

“It is.” I said and formed another one round her neck and made it invisible.

Darcy caught her breath and turned to face me.

“Thanks for defending me.” I said with a smile.

Darcy nodded and turned back to put the tiara on Jane's head. “Now look at him and think about everything that's been happening!”

Jane's breathing started to get heavy as the diadem took effect and opened her mind up to let her make certain connections that she had been avoiding or ignoring. “Oh, my god.”

“No, that's Thor.” I said and she blushed. “I'm just a traveller that's ended up somewhere that he doesn't believe he's supposed to be. Now that I'm here and found Darcy, I'm staying for as long as she'll have me. If you don't want me around you, that's easily fixed. You won't see me ever again, despite me still being here with Darcy.”

“She can't kick you out of her lab. That's not right.” Darcy said and pulled the diadem off of Jane's head and put it back on her own before she pulled her hat on over it. “Aww, it doesn't double the effect?”

I chuckled and walked over to her. “No, there's only so much brain a person has and I could give you a hundred of them and it won't make you any smarter. You have to already be smart for it to work like it does.”

Darcy smiled at me and kissed me. “You're so sweet.”

“Nah, I'm a complete bastard and I've tricked you into falling for me with my undeniable charm and bottomless pockets of wealth.”

Darcy laughed and kissed me again. “Hand some of that over, will you? We need lunch from the diner.”

I gave her a huge wad of cash. “You're not countering the bastard part?”

“What for? You admitted it.” Darcy said with another laugh and walked over to the door. “I'm taking the Hummer.”

“It's barely a block away.” I said.

“So?” Darcy said and left.

“What... what was that thing?” Jane asked in a whisper.

“It was a copy of a mind-expanding enchanted object that helps you think.” I said and both she and Eric stared at me. “You can't tell me there's no magic in the world. You saw Thor being resurrected with lightning and causing a storm with an enchanted hammer to defeat the Destroyer.”

Both of them closed their mouths and had to nod.

“You're both free to use this space as much as you want. I'll have chairs and desks in here later for you to work.” I said and walked over to the door. “I'm going for a walk. Let Darcy know, will you?”

Eric nodded and I left the room. I stopped just outside and listened.

“I've been such a fool.” Jane said.

“You have been overly dismissive of him ever since he arrived with Thor.” Eric said. “Were you scared that he was going to distract you or something?”

“No, I... it felt like he wanted me... like, sexually... and that was all. He didn't want me for who I was, only for who he thought I used to be. Or should be. It's all too confusing for me.” Jane said.

“He did say that you weren't her.” Eric said.

“Yes, he did. I've also caught him staring at me too many times to count, with a sad face.” Jane said. “I've really come to hate seeing that disappointed look every time I'm in the same room as him!”

Eric sighed. “All right, I'll make sure he knows that you really do want him to stay out of the lab.”

“He knows that already.” Jane said and sighed herself. “Darcy's the one that's not going to like it.”

“She's going off to college to study. She won't be here to run interference for him anymore.” Eric said.

“Okay. Yes. That's a good point. Don't say anything until she leaves next week.” Jane said. “Even if he has all the knowledge of the universe in his head, I can't stand being in the same room as him for more than a few minutes to get it from him.”

I had heard enough and walked out of the yard and down the street. I cast a Notice-Me-Not charm on myself and no one looked at me. I saw Darcy in the diner talking to the owner and the waitress and I kept walking. I walked all the way out of town and let Chi energy flow through me.

I lifted up into the air and flew under my own power across the desert and slowed down to look at the work crews dismantling the temporary base that had been built around the hammer's old location. I closed my eyes and replayed that whole thing in my head. If I had known anything about it beforehand, I could have changed so much.

I opened my eyes and flew another thirty miles into the desert before I came to a stop and landed in a bare patch of flat sand. I brought up the image I wanted and held a hand out to create a Thunder Hammer, the generic version of Mjolnir. It still had the same abilities and the same conditions on it. I stared at it on the ground in front of me and I knew that I wasn't worthy.

I had been selfish during some of my lives. I had killed innocents. I had even murdered people. It was all to protect others; but, it was still a heavy weight on my mind. Even all these years later, I still thought about them and the mistakes I made. I always strove to do better each time and I always did my best to help those that needed it.

This time... this time I was stuck. I usually had a definite purpose when I showed up somewhere. Here, I was floundering around and going through the motions. I had hoped by helping SHIELD that I would feel a purpose, or even a desire for a crusade. I stood there and stared at the enchanted hammer as I realized that each world I went to, I had always accomplished something.

This time I hadn't, despite being right there in the middle of things with Thor, I didn't actually do anything. My presence hadn't been required and that irked me. It irked me a lot. I lifted my head to the sky and I shouted out my frustration, just like Thor had when he tried to pick the hammer up that first time.

“RRAAHHHHH!” I yelled and dropped to my knees as I closed my eyes. My mind wouldn't settle down and kept telling me that I had to do something. I had to find my purpose for being here. I growled and opened my eyes to stare at the hammer. “Why? Why am I here? WHY?!?”

The hammer didn't answer.

“RRAAHHHHH!” I yelled again and grabbed the handle, stood up, and threw it as hard as I could.

The force of the sonic boom blew away the sand around me and I caught my breath.

I had just picked up the hammer and threw it.

I held my hand out towards the white streaking air trail and I felt the connection with the hammer. It stopped dead about a mile away, then it zoomed back towards me. I stood there and waited as it streaked back across the sky, then I prepared to catch it. It slammed into my hand, my body turned to absorb the impact, and my fingers clamped tightly around it.

I felt power and energy flow through me as armored scales and armor plates formed around me and a tiny storm cloud formed above me. A bright bolt of lightning struck me from it and more power surged through me, elemental power, and my body and mind absorbed it as 'Power Of Lightning' formed in my head. It was a devastating attack that combined with the Thunder Hammer, could be wielded at any time, storm cloud or no.

I removed the cape, because it was too bulky, and transfigured the armor into something more practical looking. The funny thing was, I didn't feel any stronger and flying was only achievable using the hammer. It was a good thing I wasn't limited by only having Thor's powers. I made the hammer invisible and hung it on my belt, then I lifted up into the air.

I could feel the air currents and the potential for electricity around me. It was a heavy feeling to be so connected to an elemental force of nature. I smiled and flew all the way back towards the town. My little crisis of conscience had ended with me discovering something fundamental to my mental health.

I was worthy.

I landed just outside Jane's place and changed the Notice-Me-Not spell to only apply to Jane. I entered through the doors and Darcy turned to smile at me, then she walked over to give me a hug.

“Hey, where have you been?” Darcy asked and pulled me down into a kiss. “Also, what's with the spiffy new armored clothing?”

“I had a few things to work out for myself and I'm trying out a new casual look.” I said and hugged her. “I also realized that you'll be moving away when school starts.”

Darcy sighed. “I have to stay on campus. It's too difficult to travel from a private residence to get to classes every day.”

“I can make us a place right in the middle of the main campus grounds and no one will ever find it.”

“You can? That's great!” Darcy exclaimed and brought me over to the table to eat. “I was going to be lonely all year without you there.”

“Who is Darcy talking to?” Jane asked Eric as we sat down.

“She's talking to John.” Eric said. “Are you feeling all right?”

“No, she isn't. There's no one there.” Jane said. “And I'm fine.”

Darcy and Eric stared at her.

“She can't notice me anymore.” I said and the two of them turned to stare at me. “She can still see and hear me, she just doesn't know she is.”

“How?” Darcy and Eric asked at the same time.

“How am I fine? I just am.” Jane said and kept eating.

“It's a spell called Notice-Me-Not. I set it for only her, so I can keep my word to her that she would never see me again.” I said and started eating the hot turkey sandwich with fries with gravy. “This is good. We have to get this more often.”

Darcy leaned over to whisper in my ear. “She really can't see you?”

I waved my hand in front of Jane's face and then snapped my fingers beside her ears. Jane didn't react at all.

“I really want to go down on you now.” Darcy whispered and kissed my ear.

“Everyone else can still see me.” I said and Darcy smiled.

“We'll wait for Eric to go to bed first.” Darcy leaned back to her side of the table and kept eating.

An hour later, Jane was an unknowing witness as Darcy gave me a fantastic blowjob while I laid down, completely naked, on top of Jane's desk that was full of notes and papers. She didn't even have to explain what she was doing, because I was laying on top of several printouts of the solar system and the dangerous near-earth asteroids that could threaten the Earth.

“I'm as shocked by this as you are.” Jane said and Darcy hummed in agreement, then I pet her head to let her know I was close and she stopped moving and licked me with her tongue.

“This asteroid right here.” Darcy said as her hand kept stroking me. “It has to be dealt with.”

“I don't know how.” Jane said and leaned over to look at it.

I couldn't stop my moan as I shot my load up into the air about two feet, then the next shot went up a foot, then the rest just rolled out.

Darcy looked very happy at getting me to react like that. “I'm sure there's a few people we can contact about it. Like SHIELD. I'm sure they have something to take a shot at it.”

Jane nodded and stood up straight. “I'll collect the data and get it ready to send.” She said and turned to the side to work on her computer. She didn't see Darcy licking off her hand or going back down on me to clean me up.

“You're so bad.” I whispered.

“Yeah, and you loved getting to show off to her without her seeing.” Darcy whispered and gave me a quick kiss. “I'll meet you in the bathroom.”

I nodded and walked away, still completely naked, and Darcy whistled at my butt. I stopped and slapped it for her, which made her clamp her mouth shut to stop her laugh. I blew her a kiss and entered her room to start the bath. She joined me a short time later and we had a great time as we laughed and carried on.

*

I locked up my lab and left the holodeck open, bid Eric goodbye, and waited for Darcy.

“I'm going to miss you.” Jane said and hugged her. “I've already signed you up for the third semester's internship.”

“Thanks, boss.” Darcy said. “You can always call or stop by.”

Jane smiled. “I've got too much work to do here.”

“As have I.” Eric said. “I even had SHIELD approach me for a special energy project.”

“That's a little outside your normal field of work.” Jane said.

“Well, the money's good.” Eric said and she nodded. Government contracts were always lucrative.

“Well, good luck you two. Don't you dare have fun without me.” Darcy said.

Jane and Eric nodded.

Darcy climbed into the Hummer and we drove off down the road, looped around, and I made the Hummer unnoticeable. We went back around to Jane's place and boarded the Firefly. Ten minutes later, we were at the university and walked over to the main campus. Right in the middle of the quad was a weird looking art sculpture.

“You're kidding.” Darcy said and looked at it. “We're going to live in that?”

I chuckled. “No, that's just an illusion that everyone sees. The tower is hidden behind it.”

“Really?” Darcy asked with a skeptical voice.

“I said it was right in the middle of campus.” I reminded her and took her hand. “It's okay. Once we're close enough, they won't notice us entering it and you'll see what we're really living inside.”

Darcy went with me as I walked towards the sculpture, then it faded away and she gasped. “No way!”

“Welcome to the Rookery.” I said and led her inside the copy of the Lovegood's home. I gave her a quick tour of the place and ended it at the top room that was converted into a main bedroom.

“If I didn't love you before, I certainly do now.” Darcy whispered as she looked out over the sprawling campus. The view was spectacular.

“Love is so easily bought.” I joked and hugged her from behind.

“You know what I meant.” Darcy said and leaned back against me.

“I did and I'm glad that I can do such simple things to make you happy.”

“Simple, he says.” Darcy whispered. “Are you really taking me out to handle that asteroid next weekend?”

“As a budding astrophysicist, you need some hands-on experience.” I said with a smile.

Darcy smiled back and then she turned around in my arms. “Let's go get my classes registry confirmation and then we can christen the bed.”

“Now that's the best plan I've heard all day.” I said and kissed her.

*

Darcy's classes were brutal. She had to cram so many of them in to get the right basics for the courses she needed to take next semester. If she didn't have the diadem or me there to help her, she might have barely passed her courses. With my encouragement and her own mental faculties, she managed to pass with an eighty-nine percent, which was the highest in the course.

By the third semester's end and the start of the internship she would be taking with Jane again, Darcy had made the Dean's List and received an award, a certificate, and a bursary. She was so pleased by it that she had me make love to her doggy style, on the top of the Rookery, and in full view of everyone. No one could see us because of the illusion; but, we could see everyone else.

“They would... mmm... kick me out... ohhhh... if they saw us.” Darcy panted and moaned.

“Don't forget... getting arrested... for being... smoking hot.” I said and bent down to kiss her back and grabbed her breasts to squeeze them.

“OHHHHH!” Darcy moaned and came really hard.

*

The welcome Darcy received from Jane was full of relief and love. Eric had pretty much disappeared when he left to work for SHIELD. Their little energy project had turned out to be a full blown program that Eric had been working on for nearly as long as Darcy had been away.

“It's really, really great to have you back.” Jane said and let Darcy out of the tight hug she had her in.

“Really? I couldn't tell.” Darcy said and rubbed her sides.

Jane laughed and leaned her forehead against Darcy's. “I missed having someone around so much that I almost want to see John's disappointed look again.”

“You know he's not that bad.” Darcy said and glanced at me. I gave her a big smile and two thumbs up.

“I know.” Jane sighed. “It's just been difficult not having you here to keep me on track.”

“Well, I'm all ready for it.” Darcy said. “What are we doing first?”

Jane smiled. “My equipment and that hologram has been detecting an odd astrological occurrence.”

“Do tell.” Darcy said.

“The planets seem to be coming together and forming a line and the moons are moving out of the way.”

“No way!” Darcy exclaimed.

“It's true! Come and see!” Jane said and took Darcy's hand and led her into the holodeck.

“It's a convergence.” I said and Eye beeped at me. I took him out and looked at the display. “Uh oh.”

Darcy gave me a pointed look as if asking me what I meant.

I showed her the security panel's display.

“It really is a convergence. The gravometric energy alone is going to cause havoc.” Darcy said.

“That's what my equipment told me.” Jane said. “If the stresses get high enough, it might even start causing spacial distortions!”

“How long do we have before it finishes?” Darcy asked me.

“Three months.” Jane and I said at the same time.

“It's going to mean a lot of tracking and moving around for us.” Jane said.

“Wait, moving?” Darcy asked and looked around at the room. “What about all of this?”

“Even if we knew how he built the thing, we can't dismantle it and take it with us.” Jane said.

“But... all his work...”

“I know.” Jane said. “It can't be helped. I've let the lease lapse and I have to be out by the end of the week. We have just enough time to unhook and pack up my equipment before we have to vacate.”

“Oh, no.” Darcy whispered.

“It's okay.” I said and kissed her cheek. “I own the place. It's not going anywhere and you can always come back here.”

Darcy sighed with relief. She really liked it here, because she said that the sky was always so clear.

“Don't worry. We'll be perfectly safe travelling around the world while we try to track down these potential ruptures.” Jane said and looked around the room. “I wonder how you turn off this thing?”

There was a kind of winding down of energy sound and the model of the solar system faded away before the lights went back to full power.

“Oh. That's how.” Jane said.

Darcy looked around the black room with large gold squares all over the surface. “I wonder how all this works?”

“I can give you tutoring lessons in your spare time, assuming you have any.” I said. “I doubt you will, if Jane's determined look is any indication.”

“Let's get started!” Jane said and took Darcy's hand to lead her from the room.

I went outside and locked the place up, then went over to Jane's vehicle. It looked pretty bad, so I used my Repair ability on it and it returned to pristine condition. I opened the back and looked inside to see a mess, so I quickly reorganized everything and cleared out the space for her equipment. It would be a tight fit, since she had constructed a few more devices while Darcy was in college.

“Before we start loading things, I just need to straighten out the back to get everything to fit.” Jane said as she went to the vehicle and opened the back. She stared at the cleaned up area and looked stunned. “I could have sworn I left a huge mess here.”

Darcy smiled at me. “Let's just start loading. You can worry about your bad memory later.”

Jane smiled and nodded. The pair got to work and Darcy would just hand me stuff and I would pack it away for her and Jane would climb in and pack her own things away. Needless to say, Darcy worked much faster than Jane did.

“I definitely miss having you around.” Jane said and gave Darcy another hug. “You always make things so much better, just by being here.”

“Thanks, boss.” Darcy said with a happy smile.

It took several days for them to get everything packed, then Jane had to pack up her personal things. Darcy didn't have a lot left there, because she still hadn't unpacked from coming back from college.

“Don't you have anything you want to take with you?” Jane asked as she handed Darcy one of her suitcases and started to pack another.

“I had most of my clothes and things at college and my bags are already in the backseat.” Darcy said and gave me a look. I nodded and ran out to the Hummer, grabbed her bags, and quickly piled them into the backseat on the passenger side.

Jane and Darcy came out with their arms full of bags and piled them behind the driver's side. They went back inside and did one last look around.

“I'm really going to miss this place.” Jane said. “It's the best combination of work and living space I've ever been in.”

“I'm sure the owner wouldn't mind renting to you again.” Darcy said and I nodded.

“I certainly hope so.” Jane said and locked the doors. “My instructions were to just drop the keys in the mailbox after locking up.”

I plucked the keys right out of the mailbox before it closed and gave them to Darcy.

“Then this is it.” Darcy said and looked at the place that had been a life-changing event for her.

“Yeah.” Jane said and put an arm over her shoulders. “Now the real adventure begins!”

Darcy smiled. “I think this is the only course at college that's going to give me class credits for travelling the world.”

“That's right! Let's get going!” Jane said and dragged her over to her vehicle. “We have a long drive ahead of us and then we have to load all of this onto the charter plane.”

“A charter plane?” Darcy asked and gave me a pointed look. I shrugged.

“I couldn't trust my equipment would be handled properly if we took a commercial flight.” Jane said and they climbed inside. The vehicle started right up and Jane looked at the steering wheel with surprise.

“Something wrong?” Darcy asked.

“No, it's just... nothing.” Jane said and put the thing in gear. “Here we go!”

I pointed to my eyes and then at Darcy. She smiled and nodded. I stood there and watched them drive away until they were out of sight. I dissolved the Hummer and installed a shield barrier over the building that was tied into the naquadah generator in the basement. No one unauthorized would be entering the building.

I walked around the building and went up the boarding ramp to the Firefly and went to the cockpit. “Let's go. Monitoring distance.”

“Yes, sir.” The Firefly said and the ship lifted off.

“Beep beep?” R2 asked.

“Yeah, I don't know what to do, either.” I responded. “Darcy's going to be busy helping Jane for the next three months, if not longer.”

A string of beeps and boops came from R2.

“You're right. No one seems to have noticed that there's a dozen Naboo habitat domes scattered around the moon's visible surface.” I chuckled. “Let's go make some major changes to Mars and see if anyone mentions it.”

“Beep beep beep!” R2 said.

“Yeah, it should be fun.” I said and sat back as the Firefly zoomed up and out of the atmosphere. We passed by the International Space Station and I nodded. “Remind me to make a few little tech donations to NASA. Those astronauts shouldn't be suffering like they do after a tour of duty.”

“Boop beep.”

“Oh? You think that'll work?”

“Beep boop beepbeep.”

I chuckled. “Just showing up to give them a ride home would be a great prank.”

Eye beeped at me and I checked him.

“Good catch, Eye. The schedule is just about to change and they are rotating people out in a month.” I said and he beeped at me several times. “I think we can pull off the space shuttle illusion if we modify the top hatch to match the docking ring on the station.”

Two sets of beeps and boops responded and I had to laugh.

“Okay, okay! Stop begging. We can pull off this epic prank on the way back from Mars next week.”

Happy beeps filled the cockpit with the Firefly's own laugh joining in.

*

“Commander, the space shuttle Enterprise is requesting permission to dock.” The comm officer on the ISS told the man in charge.

“Vhat?” The Russian Commander asked and floated over to the man. “Zey are not scheduled vor another three weeks.”

“They said there was a change in the schedule and the weather was clear, so they came up early.” The comm officer said. “They are also going to perform long overdue maintenance on the station to make sure it's safe for the next crew to return.”

The Russian laughed. “It's about time zey did so.” He said and pat the man's shoulder. “Have zem dock and I will greet zem.”

“Yes, sir.” The comm officer said.

“Everyone! Start packing up! Ve're going home early!” The Russian said over the intercom and a series of cheers echoed throughout the station. The last few weeks of a tour of duty was always the longest.

*

The relieved looks on the crew of the ISS was both good and sad. I caught their bagged things as they floated them through the docking hatch and I stuck them to the wall behind me. I had turned off the gravity on the Firefly for this part of the prank, so they wouldn't realize the difference between a real shuttle and the Firefly's internal structure.

“Ve are quite happy to see you.” The Russian Commander said and guided the items through.

“I can see that.” I said and nodded to the woman that was very carefully handing through a delicate experiment and the results.

She smiled at me as I caught it and then as I carefully stuck it to the wall behind me. “Are you sure you have the internal space to take all of this?”

I chuckled. “I've got a few tons of space cleared out for you all and even personal bunks with storage.”

“Thank god.” She said and grabbed her own large bag of clothing. “I had enough flack from the brass about bringing 'pretty things' onboard the last time.”

I laughed and caught her bag to stick to the wall far below her experiment. “They don't understand that it's nice to just relax and not conform to rules occasionally.”

“Exactly!” She said and reached a hand out for me as she gently pushed off from her anchor point.

I caught her hand and carefully pulled her through the hatch, then put my arm around her and hugged her to stop her momentum.

She blushed. “Th-thank you.”

“You are quite welcome, Susan.” I said and eased my hold on her. “Handholds are at ten o'clock and three o'clock behind you.”

She nodded and carefully pushed off of me with only her right hand, floated around in a circle, then grabbed the one at ten o'clock and pulled herself out of the way.

“You're lucky she's married.” A man said and pushed his own small bag of clothing at me.

“I think you meant 'unlucky'.” I said and caught his bag and stuck it to the floor before I reached for his hand. “I've got a thing for beautiful and intelligent women.”

The man chuckled and caught my hand as he floated through the hatch. “Lucky for her husband! Ha!”

I nodded and caught him in a similar manner to stop his momentum, which made him laugh more. He pushed off of me and took the three o'clock handle and moved down the hallway to float beside the still blushing woman. The rest of the crew, six in total, came through the hatch.

“I do not like leaving it unmanned.” The Russian said as he exited the station last and closed the hatch behind him.

“It'll only be that way until we get you down to the planet's surface. The next visit will be for maintenance and the place will look completely different for the next crew that'll arrive in a month.” I said and closed the Firefly's hatch and secured it. “Let's get you situated in your personal bunks for the flight back into the atmosphere.”

“This is always the hardest part.” One of the crewmen said as he went down into his personal space and made an appreciative sound. “Going back to a full G after being weightless for three months is a real bitch.”

“I was on double shift this time, so you can suck it.” Another man said with a laugh and passed the first man his things. “The extra pay and everything I got done this time will be worth feeling like an old man for the next six months.”

“I hear that.” Another man said and entered his own space. “Wow, this place is great!”

“I agree.” The sole woman said as she entered her own space. “My results might change how we perceive the cosmos.”

I floated close to hand over her things. “What were you studying? Photon acceleration or cosmic radiation?”

Susan blinked her eyes at me as if stunned. “It was both.” She said and caught her bag of clothing. “How did you know?”

“It's part of the research my girlfriend is studying with an astrophysicist.” I said and very carefully handed down her experiment.

“She wouldn't happen to be Jane Foster, would she?” Susan asked and stowed the experiment inside the locker at the foot of the bunk.

“My girlfriend is her assistant.” I said.

“That figures.” Susan said and I raised my eyebrows at her. “She's gotten popular because of that astrological even last year that proved her research into stable wormholes.”

“It was kind of a big thing meeting a fabled Norse god.” I said and she gasped. “You didn't know that?”

“No, they just said an object came through and proved it was possible.”

I chuckled. “Well, I guess they technically didn't lie about it, since an object did come through. Thor's legendary hammer.”

“Mjolnir?” Susan asked.

“Yeah, that's the one.” I said.

“No wonder it caused storm surges and electrical disturbances.” Susan said.

“That it does.” I said and floated into her compartment. “Lay down for a moment and see if the straps are enough to hold you.” Susan nodded and eased herself into the bunk and started to put on the straps.

I stunned her and gave her several bacta injections to restore her back to normal. I finished securing her and left her bunk to do the same to the others. Once they were all secured and healing, I went to the cockpit of the Firefly.

“Undock us and get us flying in the right pattern for a space shuttle returning from space. They should all be healed by the time we land.” I said. “As soon as we drop them off, we'll take off again and come back here to replace this old station with something much better.”

We undocked and flew in the long flight pattern to return us to the Earth's surface like a real shuttle. I had been right and the astronauts were all healed up by the time we landed at the private airfield. The people there were scrambling around, completely shocked, because the shuttle that hadn't even been prepped to go to the launch pad, was landing three weeks early.

I had a hard time not laughing my ass off at the astronauts when they woke up on the tarmac in comfy recliners and their experiments and bags of clothing were around them. “It was nice meeting you all.” I said and waved as I walked back up the ramp to go inside the ship.

“WAIT!” Susan yelled.

I stopped walking and turned to look at her.

“Who are you?” Susan asked.

“My name's John Hansen.” I said and gave her a bow. “I would have liked to meet you under different circumstances, Susan Storm.”

“It's Richards. I got married just before the mission and didn't get a new uniform.”

I chuckled. “Make sure you tell him how lucky he is.”

“I will.” Susan said and looked at the ramp. “Hold on a minute. A shuttle doesn't have a ramp!”

“No, it doesn't.” I said with a grin and ran inside. It closed behind me and I heard her yell as the ship lifted straight up and turn around, then we flew up into the air. “Tell me you recorded her face!”

“Beep!” Eye said and I sat on the flight couch as he replayed the scene for me.

We all laughed and beeped at the expressions on her face and the other astronauts.

*

It didn't take long to modify the International Space Station. I let it look the same on the side facing the Earth and added new areas on the back of it. I used a combination of Alliance and Federation technology as I constructed new living spaces, gravity controlled rooms, entertainment spaces, observation decks with powerful telescopes, and new labs.

I even added a new communications room and gave them their own comm channel on the satellite network I had set up. “Boy, are they going to be surprised.” I said with a chuckle and left signs and instructions all over the place. I boarded the Firefly and we flew back down to Earth.

We had just entered the atmosphere when an emergency howl came from Eye.

“What is it?” I asked and he showed me readings for a Heisenberg-Rosen Bridge that was different from the Bifrost Bridge. It was also at one of SHIELD's secret research bases. “Get us there now!”

The ship changed course and accelerated down through the air towards the secret base. It still looked like the space shuttle, so I was sure we were going to cause a huge media splash as we streaked across the sky.

“Gunner! Get ready to take the shot! I want that wormhole collapsed or shunted away!” I said and the Firefly changed angles to point straight down. “Do it!”

A bright light cut through the sky and slammed into the ground near a basic building and started to burn through tons of rock in seconds. Gunner held it on until Eye beeped at him.

“I'm going in!” I said and tucked Eye behind my back into his protective pouch, ran to the ramp, and jumped. I gathered my Chi and flew faster than gravity was pulling me down and flew through the hole. The air around me seemed to compress and then I flipped over at the last second and landed on my feet with the sound of thunder cracking and an explosion of wind. That was new.

“Jesus!” Fury shouted as he, several security guards, Eric Selvig, and two other people wearing odd clothing were blown away from the remains of the platform that I had apparently just crushed.

“I'm sorry about that. It's my first time flying straight down through a quarter mile long tunnel of solid rock.” I said and walked over to where Eye was beeping at me to go. I touched the device and gained a copy and not of the blue cube thing it was holding. I reached for it and my personal shield activated as a concussive beam hit me. I turned to look at one of the two oddly dressed men.

“Do not try to claim what is rightfully mine.” The man with long black hair said.

I placed a single finger on the bright blue square, to show him my defiance. “AAHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed as a million images formed in my head in barely a second. I yanked my finger away and dropped to my knees, because I finally felt for myself what Gloria had suffered for all of her life.

My head felt like it had split open and blood started to flow out of my nose. I pinched it closed with my left hand and formed a wand with my other hand and pointed it at my own face. I cast Obliviate on myself to remove everything from the last ten seconds instead of trying to remove the images one by one. The blood flow stopped and the headache receded only slightly.

“I warned you.” The man said and strode over to me. “Lesser beings should know their place.”

“Yes, you should.” I said and waited until he was right next to me. He looked like he was going to backhand me away from the thing, so I smiled as I let the wand go and gripped my invisible Thunder Hammer that hung on my belt. He started to swing his arm towards me and I jumped to my feet and shoved the hammer up into his chin as hard as I could.

The sound of his jaw shattering was loud in the silence and the force of the blow launched him up into the ceiling. His head hit so hard that it embedded into the solid rock and then jammed there. He twitched several times as he let his weapon go and it dropped to the floor. I used the Force this time and touched the weapon, then I grit my teeth as I gained a thousand different images.

I dropped to my knees again and had to Obliviate myself once more before I used the Force to check the man hanging from the ceiling. I gained 'God of Tricksters' with the Mortally Wounded affliction and he was also an Asgardian. He had Illusion powers, strength, magic, and a few other abilities that were just copies of things I already had. I used the Force to cut his air off and ended him quickly.

“How the hell did you do that to Loki?” Eric asked me.

“Loki?” I asked and he explained about him being Thor's brother and the one responsible for the giant metal man the year before. “Oh. Damn. Thor is not going to be happy with me.”

“Why is that?” Eric asked.

I pointed at the now still man that hung from the ceiling. “Loki just suffered massive brain damage and suffocated to death.”

Everyone in the room looked up at the thirty foot high ceiling and realized it would take a while to get the body down. I wasn't going to help them and hung my hammer on my belt again.

“You need to stop your experiments.” I said and cast several spells on the staff weapon. One to cover it in cloth, one to wrap it in ropes, one to shrink it down, and the last to levitate it into one of my pockets.

“You can't take that.” Fury said as he walked over to me.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because it's evidence in a crime.” Fury said.

“Considering I stopped him before he took anything, did he commit a serious crime?”

“He entered a secured base without authorization.”

“So, trespassing. It's a misdemeanor and he won't even serve an hour in jail. If he was alive.”

“I'm going to have to take you in as well.” Fury said and nodded at the guards.

“For what?” I asked.

“Murder, destruction of private property, and also trespassing.” Fury said.

“What murder?” I asked with an innocent face as I apparated the body to the ship.

“That one right there.” Fury said and pointed at where the body used to be.

“Sir, there's nothing there now.” The other oddly dressed man said and came over to us.

I finally saw his face and smiled. “Hi, Clint. I wondered where Fury sent you after New Mexico.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Clint said.

“Sure, sure. Tell Natasha I said hello. I can't do it myself because she won't answer when I call.”

“I don't know who you're talking about.” Clint said.

I chuckled and walked over to the hole I had burned through the ground. “Remember, take my advice. Stop your experiments. If Loki came through this time while you were using it, heaven knows what could come through if another portal opens.”

“You can't leave.” Fury said. “You've damaged this facility and...”

“What damage?” I asked as the platform repaired itself and lifted me up slightly. I floated up into the hole as I waved to their shocked faces and I kept casting Repair spells to fill in the hole until I reached the surface. I flew into the ship and the ramp closed behind me. “Damn, damn, damn.” I said and picked up Loki's body to carry it to the cockpit.

“Beep beep.” Eye said, sadly.

“Yeah.” I said and put Loki's body down and stuck him to the floor. “I could create a clone and let him take over Loki's role.”

A series of beeps and boops answered me.

“You're right. That's not fair to Thor.” I sighed. “I don't want to hurt him, though.”

“Boop beep beep boop.”

“Tell him it's a clone?” I asked and Eye beeped agreement. “I... well, that... it might just work.”

“Beep beep.”

“Yes, we can hope.” I said and sat back. “Let's go home.”

The Firefly flew us back to the college campus under stealth and landed on top of the main building. I had constructed and hidden a proper landing pad there a while ago. I jumped out with Loki's body and I flew over to the Rookery under my own power and walked down inside to put it into a room and cast preservation charms on the body and then locked and sealed the door.

Now I just had to wait for Thor to show up and to explain. And to apologize.

“Beep!” Eye said and I took him out again.

“Yep, we made the news.” I said at the info on his screen. I went to the living room and turned on the television to see footage of the space shuttle streaking across the sky. “At least they didn't see the PAW being....”

The announcer said that they just received shocking new exclusive footage and showed the shuttle emitting a bright light and it burned a hole in the ground.

“...never mind.”

It was surprisingly good footage and it actually caught me jumping down into the hole.

“Oops.” I said and whatever it was zoomed in to show the hole. It skipped a bit and there I was, clear as day, floating up slowly and entering the shuttle's ramp. I wasn't surprised when my comm badge beeped at me.

“DARCY to JOHN!” Darcy yelled.

I sighed and tapped my comm badge. “Hi, Honey. Guess what I did today?”

“You screwed up!” Darcy shouted.

“I screwed up.” I agreed.

“I've got over six hundred messages on my phone so far and I only know thirty people at the college!” Darcy exclaimed.

“I know. I'm sorry.” I said. “I didn't think... I didn't realize...”

“No, you just did what you wanted and look at what's happening.” Darcy said. “Make that seven hundred... seven twenty... ugh!” She grunted and then caught her breath. “No. No no no.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“Shut up for a second!” Darcy snapped at me. “I have to take this call.”

The comm went dead and I sighed again.

“Eye, can you...”

“I'm sorry, Miss Lewis. Your presence on our campus represents a significant risk to the other students if your boyfriend is involved in things like this.”

“He's not my boyfriend anymore.” Darcy said. “I didn't know he could do something like that and I'm in as much shock as everyone else that knows him. Or thought they knew him.”

The man sighed. “I'm not sure what to say to that.”

“I'll make a public statement tomorrow at the local news station for you to release. I'll disavow everything and make sure that no one associates him with the college, then praise your programs as the best in the world.” Darcy said. “As the Dean of Sciences, that's going to be some great free advertising for you and could get you some nice donations.”

The man was quiet for a full minute before he spoke. “Make sure you do it first thing in the morning. I'll call the station and set it up for you.”

“Thank you, sir. I appreciate you reconsidering your position on this.”

“Don't make me regret it.” The man said.

“You won't, sir. I promise.” Darcy said.

I hit the end button and sat back on the flight couch. I cursed at myself a dozen times before my comm badge beeped.

“Darcy to John.” Darcy's sad voice said.

I thought about not answering, then hit it and sighed. “You're not going to forgive me for this, are you?”

Darcy was quiet for several moments. “I want to.” She said. “It's just... this is a huge mistake to make.”

“I know, Honey.” I said and sighed again. “I mean, Darcy. I'm sorry.”

“Sorry isn't going fix this, John.”

“What about tons and tons of money?” I asked.

Darcy went quiet for another few moments. “I'm sorry. I can't be with you anymore.” She said and I thought I heard her cry a little. “Not for any amount of money.”

“I... I'm sorry, too. I'll try to make it up to you somehow.”

“John...”

“No, not to get you back. I know you've made up your mind and you won't change it once you do. You never have.” I said. “You can keep the Rookery and I'll leave enough money here for you to live comfortably for the rest of your life.”

“John, you... you don't have to do that.” Darcy said in a whisper.

“I know that. I just... I wanted you to know that you were her.”

“Her who?” Darcy asked.

“My one. The one I picked in this world to be with.” I said and she didn't say anything. “I might find someone else to sleep with; but, I won't be telling them anything. Only you deserved to know the real me.”

“J-John, you... why are you making this so hard?” Darcy asked and started crying.

“I'm not trying to. I'm only telling you the truth. You were the one for me here, even with Padme's doppleganger right there, you still stole my heart. That deserves a lot more than a lifetime's worth of money from me.” I said. “In fact, I think I'll make a little donation to the college for all the trouble I've caused them or about to cause them. Too many people have seen me on campus with you.”

“Y-yeah.” Darcy said.

“Don't cry, Darcy. You were a great girlfriend and I couldn't have asked for a better one.”

“J-John...” Darcy said and cried harder.

“Thank you for everything and I'll try to make this right. I promise.” I said and she kept crying. “Goodbye.”

“G-g-goodbye!” Darcy exclaimed with a sob and the call cut off.

Several soft beeps came from Eye and R2, who was listening over the comm.

“Thanks, guys.” I said and looked around the place. “I better dissolve all my stuff from here, so when she does come back, she won't be reminded of me.”

“Beep boop.”

“She'll accept the Rookery, I'm sure of it. She loves it here.” I said and stood up. “I guess I should redecorate for the same reason.”

“Beep?”

“Yes, new everything. Let's get to work.”

Two hours later, the inside of the Rookery looked completely different, Loki's body was back on the Firefly, and we flew back to New Mexico. Invisibly, of course. I wasn't making that mistake again.

“Beepbeepbeep.” Eye said.

“That figures.” I said and took him out to see that Fury was gathering people to hunt me down.

Agent Coulson went to Tony Stark to get Iron Man, Natasha was reassigned to get the Hulk, or his human persona Bruce Banner, and Fury himself was going for someone code-named Captain America. A little digging told me he was Steve Rogers and he had been a popsicle for about 70 years in the arctic and lived.

“I would like to meet him, at least.” I said as the Firefly landed. I looked out the viewport at Jane's place and sighed. I had forgotten that I didn't have a room there. I always slept with Darcy. I put my head in my hands and thought about where to go.

“Boop beep.” R2 suggested.

“You know what? Screw it. Why not?” I said. “High orbit, please. I'm staying on an Alliance Space Station.”

“Beep beep?” Eye asked.

“Nope. I'm putting it in full view of everyone.” I said. “Let's see what the world thinks of that.”

A long series of beeps and boops answered me.

“Ha! Yeah, they probably will try to come after me up here, especially if they notice the space shuttle docked to the side.” I said and smiled. “Eye, start a search for people trying to call me on the telephone, even though I don't have one.”

“Boop?”

“Sure. Cross reference whatever list that makes with the people we've met. If I know them, patch them through the satellite network.”

The Firefly came to a stop in high orbit and I formed a space suit around myself and then apparated outside and created an Alliance Space Station. I had fully automated it a very long time ago and heavily modified it to have more offensive weaponry than a whole fleet of galactic ships. It even had ten planetary assault weapons onboard, because 'overkill' was not a word I paid any attention to.

I sat down in the communications center and the telephone rang. I laughed at Eye's sense of humor. “Good one, buddy.” I said and hit accept as the display came to life. “John here.”

“It's really you!” Susan gasped. “Wait, how did you connect to our secured network? It's supposed to be voice only!”

“I'm just full of surprises.” I said. “What can I do for you?”

“I... well, I don't really know. I just saw you on the television and tried every John Hansen in the New York phone book.”

I laughed. “You were so focused on trying to get through that you forgot that you didn't really have a reason to talk to me?”

Susan blushed. “Essentially.”

“How are you feeling after your time in space?” I prompted.

“Oh! Right! How the hell did you do that?” Susan asked me.

“I did a lot of stuff, so you need to be a little more specific than that.” I said with a smile.

Susan glared at me and took a deep breath. “How did you get a shuttle? How did you know the flight schedules? How did you make it fly like that? How did you heal us all?” She took another breath. “Where did those recliners come from? Why did my experiment not suffer any degradation from moving between a weightless environment to a gravity enriched one?”

“Is that all?” I asked.

“No. The most important one is last. Who the hell are you?”

I chuckled. “Okay, in order. It's not a space shuttle, it's just disguised as one. NASA is easily hacked. It has 46 reaction thrusters and two reactor cores, one for flight and one for weapons.”

Susan sucked in a sharp breath.

“I healed you with a special biomedical fluid that repairs and restores the body to full health. I made the recliners and left them for you, so I assume NASA or the army took them on you. Your experiment was put under a stasis field until it was removed from its container.”

“Oh, my god.” Susan whispered.

“As for who I am, my name is John Hansen. I was born as a farm boy and raised in Kansas.” I said and she gave me a glare. “I also have access to technology that's quite a bit beyond anything humanity currently has.”

“How far beyond?” A man's voice asked from off the screen.

“I have a hyperdrive that can cross the Milky Way Galaxy, the long way, in about six days.”

“That's not possible.” The man said and leaned into the shot to press his cheek to Susan's.

“Your lucky husband, I presume?” I asked and she nodded.

“Reed Richards, John Hansen.” Susan said.

“You would need to map out every spacial anomaly and planetary body in the galaxy to make those kinds of calculations.” Reed said.

I let a smile grow on my face and both Susan and Reed raised their eyebrows.

“How long did it take you?” Reed asked.

“About eight months for a thousand automated factories in the Kuiper Belt that sent out automated drones with mapping equipment and astromech droids onboard, not to mention communication satellites and relays that they seeded along the way.”

“Good god, you really did it.” Susan whispered.

“Will you share that data with me?” Reed asked.

I blinked my eyes at him. “Excuse me? Did you just politely ask me to share my data?” I asked and he nodded. “You're not demanding it or threatening to take it?”

“Heavens no.” Reed said. “I'm sure if I put my mind to it, I could probably do it myself. I just don't like wasting time repeating what others have already done.”

I gave him another huge smile. “You sir, are a gentleman.” I said and checked the comm system. “You'll need a ten tetrabyte drive to hold it all.”

“I'll need several minutes to make one.” Reed said.

R2 beeped at me and I laughed. “Never mind! I can just send you an R2 unit.” I said and created one, then teleported it to right behind them. “There you go. Just use a standard data adapter and plug him into any display device.”

Both Reed and Sue turned to look at the R2 unit that was beeping at him.

“He's warning you to not abuse him, because he can mess your computer up.” I said. “By the way, he is probably going to fall in love with your computer.”

Susan turned back to stare at me. “Did you just teleport something into our secured lab?”

“Nope. It's just a figment of your imagination.” I joked and she gave me a skeptical look. “It's not as amazing as you think. I'm in orbit over New York right now.”

Susan and Reed sucked in sharp breaths.

“You're in orbit.” Susan said with an odd tone in her voice.

“Right now.” Reed added as he plugged R2 into his computer.

“I recently broke up with my girlfriend because of the publicity thing that prompted Susan to call me. I had nowhere else to go, so a space station seemed like the best option.” I said and they both nodded. “Would you like to visit? It's pretty roomy up here.”

Susan cursed and R2 beeped and booped at her.

“He liked your expletive and offered several others.” I told her and she looked surprised. “He's quite the conversationalist if you can speak droid and can stand hearing swear words all the time.”

“Beep boop boop!” Both R2 units said.

“You know she's going to want the ability.” I said and they beeped together.

“Yes, please.” Susan said. “It's just too fascinating to pass up.”

“I'll pass.” Reed said. “I have much better things to concentrate my brainpower on than learning a new language. Thirty-seven human ones is enough for me.”

I chuckled. “You don't have to learn it. I can just copy the ability to you.”

Both of then turned to look at me.

“I'm serious. It takes only a second with you and a droid in the room. That's it.”

“I think we will accept your invitation.” Reed said and turned back to a different display as he looked at the galaxy data. “Good heavens, it's true. This little droid has the entire galaxy on its memory system.”

“It makes piloting through the expanse a lot easier.” I said. “I'm a bit hesitant to go outside the solar system, though. Recent events have brought things to the forefront for me.”

“You're talking about SHIELD gathering people to hunt you down?” Reed asked.

“Yes. I'm not going to ask how you know. Fury still hasn't plugged the backdoors into his computers.”

“You offered?” Reed asked.

“Last year when I rooted out most of the Hydra and Aim agents out of SHIELD for Agent Coulson and Fury left them in place.”

Susan smiled. “Fury is a bit stubborn.”

I chuckled. “A bit? I just saved him from having something stolen and now he thinks I'm the threat and need to be dealt with, despite me helping SHIELD for nearly a year with tech and non-lethal weapons.”

Reed turned away from the galactic data to look at me. “Provide him with a decoy and then explain.”

I thought about that. “You know, that's a good plan. I think I'll do that.”

“You're welcome.” Reed said.

“When can you come and get us?” Susan asked.

“Have you disseminated your experimental data already?” I asked, a little surprised.

“Yes. We've confirmed that a blast of cosmic radiation helped the flora of Earth mutate and evolve.”

“Nice.” I said. “I can be there in ten minutes.”

Susan laughed. “I can't even do my hair in ten minutes.”

Reed nodded. “Perhaps tomorrow morning will be a good time. We can gather supplies and prepare for an extended stay.”

“It's all normal gravity up here, too.” I said and Reed looked disappointed. I chuckled. “You can relax, Reed. The labs have variable gravity from zero to a thousand.”

Reed smiled. “I've just thought of several experiments that need heavy gravity.”

“Of course you have.” Susan said with a soft laugh. “All right, John. We'll see you tomorrow morning at around nine.”

“Do you want me to cook breakfast or are you getting takeout?” I asked with a smile.

“Definitely takeout, just so I can see how you handle it.” Susan said with a matching smile.

I laughed. “All right, see you then. Bye, Susan. Reed.”

“Bye.” Susan said and Reed nodded to me as the screen went blank.

“I'm going to take his advice.” I said to Eye. “Help me come up with a good lure.”

“Beep boop.”

“Oh, yeah.” I said and levitated out the wrapped weapon from my pocket. “I almost forgot about this.”

A series of beeps responded.

“As long as I don't have to touch it.” I said. “What's a good location?”

“Boop beep.”

“The Great Wall of China? Really?”

“Beep.”

I chuckled. “If you want to go that badly, we can just go. We can put the lure somewhere more accessible.”

“Boop beep beep.”

“Sure. We don't have to pick them up until tomorrow morning. We can brainstorm about it while we're walking along the top of the wall.”

Eye beeped happily at me.

“Hey, R2? Want to come along instead of staying on the ship?”

“Beep.”

“I'm pretty sure it's almost completely smooth. You shouldn't have any trouble.”

“Boop beep boop.”

I chuckled and left the communications room. “I'll repair any wear and tear you get on your delicate little wheels.”

“BOOP BEEP!”

Both Eye and I laughed at him cursing at me.

*

We had a great time spending the day on The Great Wall of China. I didn't even bother trying to hide myself or R2, which worked out great, because everyone absolutely loved R2. We were stopped hundreds of times to take pictures and R2 would curse at them, which made Eye and myself laugh. The Chinese people marvelled at his autonomous functions and praised him constantly.

You wouldn't think a droid could get a swelled head or an ego boost. R2 would have proved you wrong.

We picked up Susan and Reed the next morning and they both marvelled at the ship and then at the space station after we docked.

“You could take over the planet with this thing.” Susan commented as she settled down in the lounge beside me on one of the large couches.

I had given them a full tour and Reed, Johnny, and Ben were already unloading his things for him.

“Ha! I wouldn't need a station to do that. Just Eye and a few Fireflys. And the satellite system. Oh, and having the internet. That's essential.”

Susan laughed softly. “So, you don't need a station that has all that?”

I laughed, too. “Touche madame, touche.”

Susan touched my upper arm. “I'm really sorry about my brother inviting himself along. Once he heard I was going back to space and we weren't going with NASA, or he had to qualify as fit by their standards, he pretty much latched onto my ankle and wouldn't let go since yesterday.”

I laughed again. “You're not apologizing for Ben?” I asked with a grin and she joined in my laugh.

“That's on Reed. They've been inseparable since they were kids.” Susan said and her hand moved up and down on my arm, feeling the muscles. “Johnny, he... I've always had to apologize for my brother.”

I nodded. “It's understandable. You're the responsible one and he's the one causing all the trouble.”

“All the goddamn time!” Susan said and rolled her eyes.

I pat her hand on my arm. “I'm glad he has someone like you to look out for him.” I said and then tilted my head slightly. “I should probably add that in for Reed, too. He seems overly focused on things and I've only known him since yesterday.” I didn't tell her I had the image of a 'Focused Scientist' in my head from him.

“Unbelievably so. He latches onto something and won't let go.” Susan said, fondly.

“You, huh?” I asked cheekily and she blushed a little, then she nodded.

“I hope you keep poking him occasionally and remind him that he needs to take care of you, too.” I said and she smirked at me. “Good for you.”

“Thank you.” Susan said and her hand kept doing its little caresses on my arm. “I was very sorry to hear your ex-girlfriend denounce you publicly on television.”

I sighed sadly. “Jane loves it, because she gets her dedicated assistant Darcy back.”

Susan gave me a questioning look.

“Darcy's not distracted by wondering where I am or what I'm doing.” I said. “Well, she still is, it's just for a different reason than wanting to be near me.”

“She's avoiding meeting you.” Susan guessed and I nodded. “I suppose the people are scared that you're going to use whatever that weapon was on them.”

“It's a Planetary Assault Weapon that I nicknamed the PAW. The Firefly has one and Gunner has a ball whenever he gets to use it.”

Susan's hand slid down my arm and took my hand. “Why did you use it this time?”

“I needed to disrupt an unstable Heisenberg-Rosen Bridge that appeared inside a secret SHIELD base and a disgraced and exiled Asgardian had used to come to Earth to subjugate us.”

Susan gasped and used her free hand to cover her mouth. “No!”

I chuckled. “The news is portraying what happened as a weapons test. The thing is, they aren't completely wrong. That was the first time using the energy beam weapon to dig through the Earth.”

“How did you know you could disrupt the wormhole like that?” Reed asked as he entered the room with Johnny and Ben. Reed sat beside Susan and the other two men sat on the opposite couch.

“I've seen footage of a focused explosion shifting a stable wormhole from one event horizon to another. I deduced that an unstable one without a focusing end, would be shunted away or closed with the same destructive energy hitting the starting point.”

Everyone stared at me with surprise on their faces.

“Yes, SHIELD has been running experiments on an energy source and it went out of control and created a portal that a powerful being used to come here.” I said and they didn't react or respond. “Either you're too shocked by that or you don't see it as a big deal.”

“It's a little bit of column A and some of column B.” Ben said with a smile. “It's always interesting hanging around with Reed.”

Susan snorted and then laughed. “Yes, interesting is one word for it.”

“Terrifying, scary, exciting, mind-blowing...” Johnny said with a grin. “...it's a fun ride!”

Ben smacked his arm. “I agree, ya underwear model!”

“Ow!” Johnny said and hit him back.

“Didn't hurt. Try again.” Ben said with a chuckle.

“He's half your size.” Susan said with a roll of her eyes.

I couldn't resist and silently cast Strength on Johnny. “Try it again.”

Johnny sighed and wound up his arm comically, making Ben and Susan laugh, then he punched Ben's flexed arm. Ben flipped up and over the couch from the blow and landed on the floor.

“Holy crap!” Johnny exclaimed and jumped to his feet. “What just happened?”

“That's what I'd like to know.” Ben asked as he stood up and his arm was clearly broken.

“Oops. I'm sorry about that.” I said and walked over to Ben as I pulled a needle out of my pocket and cancelled the effect on Johnny. “I keep forgetting people aren't as tough here.”

“Whoa, what's that for?” Ben asked and backed up from me.

“It's that biomedical fluid!” Susan gasped.

“You got it.” I said and waved Ben forward. “You won't even feel it.”

“If I do, I'm smacking you good when my arm's working again.” Ben said. “I hate needles.”

I chuckled and touched his arm, saw where the break was, and injected the fluid right into it and then moved his arm slightly to align the bones. “Give it five minutes.”

“Jesus, I didn't feel it at all.” Ben said and looked down at his arm. “Where's the needle hole?”

“It heals as it's extracted.” I said and put the needle away.

“I would enjoy examining it.” Reed said.

“It has components not accessible from Earth, so there's no way to recreate it here.” I said and held out a vial of it. “I can give you the recipe if you want, too.”

Reed stood and walked over to take the vial. “No, thank you. I like discovering things for myself.”

I nodded and he walked back across the room.

“Ahem.” Susan said and Reed changed direction, bent down and gave her a solid kiss on the lips, then he left. She looked at me with a smirk on her face and I chuckled.

“Now explain what happened!” Johnny said as he stared at his fist.

“I gave you a temporary Strength boost. I hadn't realized how much of a boost it would be. I hadn't used it in a while on anyone but myself and I haven't needed it in a very long time.” I walked over to Johnny and clapped him on the shoulder. “I already ended the effect, so don't worry about hurting yourself or anyone else.”

Johnny relaxed and flopped down onto the couch. “I'm sorry about that, Ben.”

“Hey, don't worry about it, kid.” Ben said and sat beside him. “John fixed me right up.”

“No way! It's already healed?” Johnny asked and lightly poked where the arm had been broken.

“I've got to get me some of that stuff. The guys at the boxing club would be falling over themselves if they could go all out and not have to worry about bruises and busted lips!” Ben said.

“You wouldn't need a whole needle for that. Only a few CCs for light bruising and cuts. Major burns would need half to a full needle, depending on the damage. You need several needles if the area is wider than your arm and dozens if it's most of your skin.”

“That sounds like experience talking.” Susan said with a soft tone of voice.

“Third degree burns over 85% of my body at one point. I was in an explosion and had to soak in a tank for four days.”

Ben whistled, Johnny looked sick, and Susan had a sympathetic look on her face.

Susan stood up and walked over to me. “I'm very sorry to hear that.” She whispered and took me into a hug.

To my utter surprise, she was the perfect height for me at five feet six inches and fit perfectly into my arms and against my body. I really liked it, so I wrapped my arms around her tightly and ducked my head down a little to hold onto her properly.

Susan must have felt the change in me, because she whispered into my ear. “I hope that's a banana in your pocket, John.”

I didn't respond for several moments, then I eased my hold on her to look into her eyes and smirked at her. “It is if you want it to be.”

Susan smiled back. “Yes, it better be a banana. Anything else could be... troublesome.”

I nodded and let her go, stepped back, and pretended to pull a banana out of my front pocket to give to her. “There you go.”

Susan laughed and accepted it. “You just happened to have a banana to pull out when I asked about it?”

I grinned at her. “You should see where I pull the strawberries from.”

Her brother Johnny burst out laughing, because he hadn't missed the banana implication at all.

*

It took a week for Fury to gather his team together. I kept a close eye on them, actually Eye did and told me about it. Tony and Bruce were building a machine to try and track down the alien sceptre. It took them a day to work out the science and then another day to build the detector.

I wasn't idle and had come up with a neat idea. I made myself a costume, one that was similar to Superman's without a cape. I changed the chest symbol to an 'H' instead of an 'S' and made the main costume color white instead of blue. I also left off the external underwear and kept the slim belt to hang my invisible Thunder Hammer from.

I walked out of my room on the station wearing it and I heard someone suck in a sharp breath. I turned to look and Susan stood there with wide eyes as she stared at me. “How does it look?” I asked and held my arms out and did a slow turn to show off the whole costume, back and front. “It's heavy armor.”

“It's... very... form-fitting.” Susan whispered and blushed as her eyes went to my crotch.

“I went with white, so people would associate me with good and pure feelings.”

“You should add wings for that.” Susan said.

I chuckled. “I'm going to be flying, so that's going to be implied.”

“I doubt anyone's going to be impressed when you fly down there in a ship.”

“Who said I was using a ship?” I said and lifted up off the floor.

Susan caught her breath and stared at me again. “That wasn't a tractor beam or something?”

“No.” I said and landed. “That's exactly the look I was going for. Thank you.” I said and walked over to her. “I'll be gone for a while as I bait the trap. If you need me for anything, just use the comm.”

Susan looked up at my face and then she blushed a little. “J-John, you... you can't look at me like that.”

I smiled. “You've noticed that I think you're the perfect height.”

“Yes, I... why?”

“The greatest loves of my life have been your exact height, beautiful, and intelligent.” I said and took her hand, bent down and kissed it, then stood and let it go. “I have never pursued anyone that was attached to a boyfriend or married, so you never have to worry about me making a move on you or trying to undermine Reed in any way. Love is too fleeting for me to ruin it for anyone else, just because I find someone adorable.”

“J-John...” Susan whispered and blushed again.

“I give you my word that the little bit of harmless flirting that I've done is just that, harmless. Joking around with friends is a great stress reliever and I use that whenever possible.” I said. “Also, the dynamic you have with your family is one that I've occasionally enjoyed myself and I would fight really hard to let you keep it.”

Susan took a deep breath and let it out. “Thank you, John. I appreciate that.”

“I'm glad, because I'm sure that Reed's decided he's never leaving here, except to take a ship out to do more experiments.”

Susan laughed softly. “He did discuss that with me, after I learned that Ben has been training on flying the Imperial Starship all week.”

“I think Ben would marry it if it was legal.” I joked and Susan laughed again. “I better go. The heroes are waiting for the villain to make his grand appearance.”

“Don't make it too complicated.” Susan said and put a hand on my chest. “Don't play around with them, either. Just be yourself and explain.”

It was my turn to take a deep breath and let it out. “I'll try.”

“That's all you can do.” Susan said and her hand rubbed my chest slightly before she stood on her toes and kissed my cheek. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” I said and walked down the hallway.

“You really should have underwear or something on under that.” Susan commented.

“I don't like having visible pantie lines.” I said.

Susan's laughter followed me all the way down to the docking bay.

*

I had the Firefly drop me off in the upper atmosphere and had it follow me down to the bait site. I had created a huge fake lab in the middle of Death Valley in the Badwater Basin, and put Loki's Clone there with the sceptre weapon. Neither of us could touch it without suffering pain, and I wasn't sure why. So, it was mounted on the wall of the throne room and God of Tricksters sat on the ornate throne. It was really pretentious and fit the mood perfectly.

Eye beeped at me from my hidden comm badge and told me that the assembled team members were just arriving at the site. I poured on the speed and didn't bother trying to hide myself or my passage over towns and cities across California. I wasn't worried about any sonic booms either, because I was already at Mach 3 by the time I was in the lower atmosphere.

I slowed down when I saw several vehicles parked a distance away from the secret lab. I created contact lenses with Dumbledore's enchantments on them and saw the names of the people there. Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Iron Man, Bruce Banner, several shield agents including Phil Coulson, Fury's second in command Maria Hill, and surprisingly, Thor.

I knew I needed to make a dramatic entrance, so I looped around them and the lab, then flew into sight and angled down into the space between where they parked in the large open area around the secret lab and repeated the same thing I did inside the SHIELD secret base. I gathered the air around myself and compressed it, then flipped over to land on my feet and let the air go with a crack of thunder.

A huge blast of salt and silt flew out from where I stood and I didn't move as everyone seemed to react to that. The normal shield agents took cover and aimed their guns at me while Phil and Maria kind of took cover and whispered orders to the others and they observed me as the salt and debris fell back to the ground.

Captain America pulled his shield from his back and took a fighting pose. Black Widow also took a fighting pose and had a hand hovering near a pistol. Iron Man took a bracing stance and his gauntlets glowed with a charged particle beam as his shoulders opened and little missiles were revealed. Bruce Banner just looked constipated.

Thor, completely unlike them, let out a loud laugh and strode over to me. “Friend John! It's so good to see you after all this time!”

I laughed as well, because Thor was breaking the situation's tension much better than I ever could. I held my arms open to hug him and we shared a manly hug for a moment before he stepped back.

“What brings you here to this evil lair that my wayward brother has constructed?” Thor asked me.

“It's a fake.” I said and he looked surprised, as did the others. “Fury gathered the members of the Avengers Initiative to come after me when I saved him and his facility from Loki killing them all and destroying the place.”

Thor frowned and turned to look at the others. “Is this true? Is my brother not here as Fury said?”

The others looked uncomfortable and Maria was talking to someone on her headset.

“It's true and Loki is here, even if Fury didn't know that.” I said and Thor turned back to face me. “Only it's in two different respects and not the ones you think they are.”

“I do not understand.” Thor said.

“I'll explain while I take you inside to meet someone.” I said as I clapped him on the shoulder and looked over at the assembled team chosen to fight me. “You're all welcome to come in as well.”

Phil and Maria exchanged looks and then nodded. Everyone resumed normal poses and were still tense, so I used the Force to touch all the heroes and gained their images in my head.

“I didn't detect you arriving on Earth.” I said to Thor and led them across the distance to the secret lab.

“Father's method of sending me here was unorthodox.” Thor said. “I'll be using the tesseract to return with my brother.”

I did not miss the worried looks on Maria's and Phil's faces. “That was how Loki arrived at the SHIELD facility. My satellites detected the unstable wormhole and I flew over with my ship and used an energy beam to disrupt it and collapse it before it could do any more damage than it already had.”

“That's why you did what you did?” Maria asked.

“If anyone had bothered to ask me about it, I would have told you.” I said and gave Phil a look. “Let me guess, you told them you could contact me and they took it from you and melted it.”

Phil didn't say anything and didn't nod or shake his head, either.

“Did the small amount of pure gold contribute to SHIELD's coffers?” I asked and Maria gave me a pointed look. “I'll take that as a no.”

“You were explaining what happened.” Black Widow prompted me.

“Thanks, Natasha.” I said and she gave me a pointed look, too. “I arrived and didn't know what was going on, just that Fury and Eric were playing with a new energy source. It was a blue cube and...”

“That is the tesseract.” Thor said.

“Oh. No wonder I couldn't do anything with it.” I said. “Anyways, Loki, whom I've never met and had no idea who he was, blasted me with a sceptre weapon and my personal shield activated and saved me. When I collapsed after trying to touch the cube, he was going to backhand me away from it.”

Thor sighed. “You retaliated.”

“I did. I hit him so hard as I stood up that I shattered his jaw and embedded his head into the solid rock of the ceiling.”

Thor stopped walking and stared at me. “You are not lying, are you?”

I stopped walking just outside the door to enter the lab. “No. It surprised me as well. I just wanted to make him take notice and to not dismiss people because he believed they were beneath him. I never expected...” I sighed. “By the time I checked him, he was already brain damaged and dying. You never leave a dying enemy suffer, so I suffocated him.”

“You... you killed my brother.” Thor said, his voice flat.

“Unfortunately, yes. Eric didn't tell me who he was until after he was dead.”

Thor squinted his eyes at me as he reached for the hammer on his belt. “John, I must...”

“Wait.” I said and put a hand on his hand touching his hammer. “I told you that I wanted you to meet someone first. Please don't react until you do. Please.”

Thor didn't move his hand from his hammer and looked slightly angry. “You have a short reprieve from my wrath. Do not waste it.”

“Believe me, I am fully prepared to face it and to accept any punishment you deem fit to give me.” I said and his face lost the anger. I turned away and opened the door. “He's waiting for us in the throne room.”

I led everyone inside and a few of the people gasped at the walls of weapons of all different kinds, from swords to heavy plasma weapons. The hall of droids was just as interesting for most of them. The hall of ships made them all stare with wide eyes, because there was no way to have all those things inside the small lab. The throne room doors opened on their own and we all walked in.

“Who dares to enter the new base of my rule over this puny planet?” The God of Tricksters said as he rose from his throne.

“There's no need for the theatrics, Lock. I've already told Thor that Loki's dead.” I said and Lock's face changed from anger to a huge smile.

“Then let me welcome you to my false domain!” Lock said, happily.

Everyone was stunned as Lock's outrageously gaudy royal outfit transformed into pants and a shirt.

“Thor, I'd like for you to meet Loki's identical magical clone, Lock.” I said and motioned for him to walk forward.

“No, that... this... how can...” Thor mumbled and kind of stumbled as he made his way over to Lock.

“John created me when he realized who he had mistakenly killed.” Lock said and met Thor partway across the room and held him steady. “It took a lot of healing and magic to fix the damage and to restore me to full health.”

“It took me six tries creating him, each stage more difficult than the last. He kept dying before I managed to get everything healed enough to stabilize him, and even then I had to rely on android parts in his brain to do it.” I said. “I knew then that even if I had tried to save Loki's actual life, it wouldn't have worked.”

“I'm a miracle of circumstance!” Lock said, happily. “I shouldn't exist! Isn't that great?”

I chuckled at everyone's shocked faces. “His personality is completely different as well, apparently. That can happen, especially if the clone had a different emotional growth period from the original. Since he was pretty much a fluke and knows it, he's really happy about being alive.”

“I really am.” Lock said and looked into Thor's eyes as he sighed sadly. “I'm really sorry that you lost someone you cared about. I would have enjoyed meeting him.”

“I... I am... sure that you...” Thor shook his head. “Are you really his clone?”

“According to John and his advanced medical scanning equipment. We have the same genetic DNA sequencing and everything.”

“And his powers.” I said and a few of the others gasped. “Just like me, he doesn't need to use them in his daily life. That's not the point of having powers. You help as many people as you can and just do your best every day. No one can ask you to do more than that.”

“He's right.” Captain America said. “I wanted to become a soldier because I knew I could make a difference and help my country, even if I was a scrawny little guy. I was picked for the Super Soldier program precisely because I had that view.”

I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “As one old soldier to another, I'd like to hang out and talk sometime.”

Captain America smiled. “I think I'd like that.”

“What about the SHIELD facility you compromised?” Maria asked.

“Loki compromised it and would have destroyed it, and both you and Fury know that. I actually repaired the damage done and left without revealing where I was. Unlike me, Loki was there to get the tesseract and he would have used that thing to do it.” I said and pointed to the wall.

They all turned to look at the glowing sceptre.

“I knew you all would be coming for it, so I put it out in the middle of nowhere with no people around, just in case you all decided to fight me.” I said and walked over to Thor. “I have Loki's body in a side room. You are welcome to take it back to Asgard and let them know that they no longer need to hunt for him to punish him.”

Thor put a hand on my shoulder and gripped it tightly. “I must take you back as well, John.”

“I know. Ignorance of a crime is no defense. I did kill him and I'll face the consequences.”

“I'll go as well.” Lock said.

“No, you will just confuse everyone.” Thor said. “You look just like him and...”

Lock changed his face to look like an average man. “Is this better?”

Thor stared at him.

“He is Asgardian and you know your father doesn't like it when Asgardians interfere on Midgard.” I said.

“Well said, John.” Lock said.

“You can never wear Loki's face. Ever.” Thor warned him.

“What about as a joke?” Lock asked.

“No, not even then.” Thor said and Lock sighed. “You can come.”

Lock smiled and nodded.

“So, does this mean we're not going to fight?” Iron Man asked.

“I think we're all past that point, Tony.” I said.

“Hey, how did you know my name if I've never lifted the helmet?” Iron Man asked.

“Television media.” I said.

“Ha ha! Yes, I am pretty popular.” Iron Man said. “It shouldn't surprise me that you watch television.”

“You need to see it in three dimensions. It only takes the holodeck ten minutes to convert an entire hour long episode into life-sized holograms.” I said and they all looked stunned, except for Thor, who just looked confused. “Anyways, what do we do now?”

“We return to the helicarrier for a debriefing.” Maria said.

“That might be a bit difficult.” I said and she squinted her eyes at me. “I'm not wearing any briefs for you to take.”

Both Maria's and Black Widow's eyes dropped right to my crotch. Maria blushed slightly and looked away while Natasha just gave me a good look before her eyes went back to my face. I winked at her and she shook her head slightly, so I shrugged a little and she smiled back.

“I need to retrieve my brother's body as proof.” Thor said and I led him over to the side room. Inside was a respectful and decorated burial chamber from Norse legends that Eye had found on the internet. Thor pat my shoulder and gathered up the burial cloth that Loki was wrapped in and carried it in a princess carry out into the throne room. “Let us begone from this place.”

Maria and Phil both lifted down the sceptre from the wall and looked like they didn't know what to do with it now. I created a case for them to put it in and they looked grateful until the case was closed and they went back to full business mode.

I led everyone back through the different halls and outside, then I snapped my fingers. The building and everything inside dissolved away into nothing, as did the things the SHIELD agents had stolen.

“That was all an illusion?” Agent Coulson asked. “Or a hologram?”

“No, it was all real.” I said and held out a comm badge towards him, gave it a look, then tossed it up into the air and dismissed it. “You won't be contacting me for a while if I'm going to Asgard.”

Phil nodded, knowing it for the dismissal it really was. They all climbed into their various vehicles and it left me standing alone.

“I'll just fly alongside, shall I?” I asked Maria and floated up into the air by the lead car. “Don't worry, I won't attract too much attention.”

Maria sighed at me out her window and waved forward. “Let's just go. Fury can worry about it later.”

The vehicles pulled out and I flew at a casual pace above them. Every single agent, Phil and Maria included, kept looking over to see that I was still flying alongside and slightly above the caravan.

I wasn't surprised to see the large transport carrier waiting for us at the nearby airport. What I was surprised by, was all the people with cameras and video cameras. Of course, I slowed down and waved to them all, adjusted my flight pattern to give them great shots of my costume, and then I floated standing up straight above the caravan as the rest of the team piled out of the cars to enter the transport.

I landed when Thor exited his assigned vehicle and I led him into the transport and showed him where he could secure the body to give it the protection it needed for the flight.

“Thank you, John.” Thor said.

I nodded and let Lock sit beside him as I stood off to the side and let the others sit down and secure themselves.

“You're really just going to stand there?” Maria asked.

“I could sit in your seat and you can secure yourself on top of me as you use me as a chair.” I offered.

Maria glared at me for a moment, then she let her face go blank. “Can you at least grab a support strap? The pilot is nervous to take off with you standing in the middle of the aisle like that.”

I chuckled. “Not a problem. I'm a pilot and can reassure him that I know what I'm doing.” I said and walked up into the transport plane's cockpit. I had a quick conversation with the man and shared the story of flying on a C-17 for the first time and getting the rubbernecker tour, which made him laugh. He started the plane up and then taxied to the runway with me standing there slightly behind him.

I pat his shoulder, promised more talking when Fury was done with the debriefing, and then went back to the cargo area. I stood right in the middle of the aisle and crossed my arms as the plane took off.

“You're pretty arrogant.” Maria said.

“You're confusing confidence and arrogance. You see, I'm just confident in my ability to stay stationary during flight. If I was arrogant, I would have flown on my own, probably backwards, and led the plane to the helicarrier while I guided it the whole way with proper hand signals and everything.”

Hawkeye chuckled. “That would be pretty arrogant.”

“You're willingly going to another realm to face judgment for killing someone.” Black Widow said. “That's pretty arrogant, considering they could sentence you to death for it.”

I gave her a warm smile. “Once again, it's confidence. Even if they did sentence me to that, which they won't, it wouldn't work. I'm immortal.”

The others all took in sharp breaths at my words, even Thor. Lock just nodded.

“How old are you?” Phil asked.

“I'm old enough to buy alcohol in every country in the world.” I joked.

Hawkeye laughed. “You're almost as good as Natasha at avoiding the question while also stating the truth.”

“It's a gift.” I said and looked at Natasha. “If you ever want to undo some of what they did to you, let me know.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Black Widow said and looked away from me.

I walked over to her and knelt on one knee in front of her seat as I cast Silence on everyone else. “I helped someone else with a similar condition. If she hadn't been married at the time, she promised me that she would have had my child and not her husband's as a thank you.”

Black Widow gasped and her head whipped around to look at everyone looking over at us. Hawkeye was mouthing something and she couldn't hear him.

“I silenced them and they didn't hear what I just told you.” I said and stood as I pat her shoulder. “Things like that are private and I won't compromise you by revealing your secret.”

“You... how...”

“It's one of my abilities to determine powers, abilities, and ailments.” I said and walked back over to stand in the middle of the aisle, just to annoy Maria. “Let me know when you want the silence lifted, Natasha.”

Natasha made several hand signals to Hawkeye and he stopped talking. “I like the quiet sometimes.”

I smiled. “You should visit one of my moon biodomes. It's really peaceful.”

“That was you?” Black Widow asked.

“Oh? Did someone actually notice? I haven't seen anything on the news or in the newspapers.”

“Fury's been actively debunking the sightings.”

“Ha. That figures.” I said. “I suppose that's why no one's mentioned Mars, either.”

Natasha looked surprised. “I hadn't heard about that.”

“Don't tell me you guys missed the nice new space station hanging in high orbit near the International Space Station, too.” I said and she smiled slightly. “How is he explaining that? Light flares? Space debris? Smudges on telescopes?”

“All of the above.” Natasha said. “What else have you done?”

“I've upgraded the ISS to be standing room and it has normal beds for the astronauts. I've also advanced Eric's and Jane's astrological research by a few decades and given Reed Richards and his family access to my space station and the futuristic labs there.”

“Fury wondered where those four disappeared to.” Natasha said.

“Once again, a little call would have done wonders for you.” I said and she gave me a pointed look. “It's true. Reed's wife called me on the telephone and I rerouted it to the space station to answer.”

“We didn't know you could do that.” Natasha said.

“Ha! Good one.” I said and she raised her eyebrows at me. “I gave Phil a communicator that could contact me halfway to Mars unaided. Why would telecommunications on Earth be a problem for me? I literally gave you the means to do it yourself with a more basic version of the communicator.”

Natasha didn't respond and just gave me a blank face.

“So, is that enough of an interrogation for you?” I asked and she looked surprised again. “I'm not stupid. I know you're excessively smart and manipulative. You use your skills to the best of your ability, your beauty included, to achieve your goals... or those of your employer.”

Natasha sighed slightly. “Is anything you told me true?”

“It was all true. Every single bit.” I admitted.

“But, you knew I was pumping you for information.” Natasha said.

“Of course I did. That doesn't mean I'm immune to your charms.” I said and smiled warmly at her. “Or want to be.”

Natasha blushed slightly and nodded.

“Blushing on command. Very nice.” I praised her.

The blush disappeared. “How could you tell?”

“I've been intimate with a woman who was the elected Queen of her people. She was in full control of her facial expressions and emotional reactions in certain situations. I always enjoyed flustering her and making her actually blush, especially when she was in her Queen persona.”

“How did you do that?” Natasha asked and I could tell that she was curious about it.

“That is a bit too personal to say outside of a bedroom.” I said and her eyebrows rose again. “I'm going to be busy for the next little while, so I have to decline your offer.”

“I didn't offer you anything.” Natasha said, a bit angrily.

“You offered me a genuine reaction.” I said with a smile.

Natasha stopped herself from retorting, huffed at me, and looked away.

“Thank you.” I whispered and she didn't react. We both stayed silent for the rest of the flight.

After the plane landed, I lifted the silence spell and Steve, Tony, Maria, and Phil were yelling as loudly as they could. I burst out laughing and they all glared at me.

“S-sorry, I couldn't resist.” I said and cast healing on them to heal their throats.

They all looked surprised and I pointed to the dropping ramp. Everyone unstrapped and we filed out of the plane and onto the deck of the aircraft carrier. We walked over to the main tower part and I touched the wall as I opened the door for everyone to enter ahead of me. I gained the image of 'Helicarrier' and followed the others inside.

“So, you actually had the balls to show your face again.” Fury said as I entered the room.

“Before you accuse me some more, you should let Black Widow make her report first. She has some important information that is essential to your understanding of my motivations.”

The others all looked to her and she looked at me.

“I set the fake lab trap to get you all together to talk. There was no attack by me or by my creations.” I said and she nodded.

We all sat down around a large round table and Natasha verbally delivered her report. She included everything we had talked about, except for my offer to fix her sterilization.

Fury gave me a searching look. “What are Iron Man's powers?”

“He's a billionaire philanthropist, an inventor, and a shameless womanizer... at least until Pepper brought him to heel. Now he's just intelligent, confident, and arrogant.” I said and a couple of people chuckled.

“He's not wrong.” Tony said as his faceplate popped up. “Pepper's awesome.” He looked around. “Can I get something to eat or drink? That desert was pretty hot.”

I waved my hand and dropped baskets of fruit, vegetables, cases of soda pop, and a large bottle of thirty year old Whiskey.

“Sweet.” Tony said and grabbed an orange and the bottle of alcohol.

“Tell me about Hawkeye.” Fury prompted me.

“He's a surprisingly good shot and can hit things at a ridiculous distance with anything in his hands. He prefers arrows, though. It's not a power, just a lot of excessive training.” I said.

“Thor.” Fury said, probably in the hopes of getting a few secrets.

“He's an Asgardian and the God of Thunder.” I said and didn't say anything else.

Thor nodded slightly.

Fury looked slightly frustrated. “Black Widow.”

“She's a former Russian spy that defected to the good side, even if she's still doing the same things for the good guys.” I said. “Once again, it's all extensive training and not any powers.”

“Captain America.”

“He's been enhanced to the peak of human endurance. He doesn't really have any powers.” I said and they all looked surprised, especially Steve himself. “He can do a lot of amazing things; but, they aren't powers. Just training and having a reinforced body that lets him use all of his potential strength and agility and not at the limit that a normal human brain has that stops people from hurting themselves.”

“What about his shield?” Tony asked.

“A great invention.” I said and held a hand out to Steve.

Steve smiled as he slipped it off of his back and handed it to me. I pulled my hand back with it to throw it and everyone at the table ducked.

“Relax.” I said and tossed it gently. The frisbee-shaped shield almost casually bounced off the left wall, floated down to the front window and bounced off of the bulletproof glass, ricocheted off the right wall, and floated back to my hand.

“Okay, that was shockingly amazing to see.” Tony said.

“Doing it like that is completely useless in battle with no significant force behind it.” I said and handed the shield back to Steve, who looked amused at the whole thing.

“Bruce Banner.” Fury said.

“Latent mutant that didn't have his genetic activation when he was a teenager. When he had his lab accident and was exposed to a lethal dose of Gamma radiation, it bombarded his mutant genes and forced them to mutate him into what he became.”

Everyone stared at me with shock on their faces.

“What?” I asked.

“How the hell did you come up with that?” Bruce asked.

“It's pretty obvious, since all of your attempts to remove your powers by both conventional and unconventional means, have failed. It's because you've mutated and it's a part of you.”

“N-no, I... no. The Hulk is a monster and...”

“Blonsky is a monster.” I interrupted him and he closed his mouth. “You just want to be left alone.”

“How do you know that?” Bruce asked.

“I've been tracking you since the incident in New York.” I said and both Bruce and Fury gave me a significant look. “I would have approached you a long time ago and dealt with you, if you were the monster you think you are.”

“Dealt with me.” Bruce said with a huff. “He wouldn't let you do that.”

“No, he wouldn't.” I said with a smile. “He always saves you, doesn't he? Just when you're about to die, by any means, he comes out and saves you.”

The implications of my words made everyone at the table cautiously look at Bruce.

Bruce sighed. “Yes, I tried to eat a bullet once. The big guy spit it back out.”

I walked around the table and put a hand on his shoulder. “Bruce, trust me. I know what you've gone through.”

“How could you?” Bruce asked. “You don't become a giant green rage monster.”

“I meant about wanting to kill myself.” I said and everyone looked at me. “This was long before I knew who I was and what my existence was going to be like. I had a family and I did my best for them. Or thought I did. I made a mistake with my daughter as a child and she grew up to be a horribly selfish person. She ruined my family and my wife died while estranged from her.”

Bruce just stared up at my face.

“When my daughter came home, all of eighteen and had spent all of the family's money, I gave up on her and on life. I handed her the worthless deed to the farm and walked out into the fields one last time. I had nothing left and nothing to live for.” I said. “What luck I had at that moment as a flaming meteorite appeared and crushed me down into the fields I loved so much.”

“Oh, god.” Maria whispered and covered her mouth. She must have guessed what I was going to say next.

“After I woke up in the hospital with all of my bones crushed and most of my skin and flesh burned away, I realized I hadn't died and I should have. It took me years to recover. Hundreds of skin grafts and months of rehabilitation to learn how to function again. I was not a pretty sight for a very long time.”

“Jesus.” Tony whispered.

“But, I lived. On and on.” I smiled a huge smile. “After the comet ran me over...”

“Stop!” Maria gasped.

I let Bruce's shoulder go and walked around the table to where she stood. “My sincere apologies.” I whispered to her and took her hands. “I was only going to say that I found out then that no matter how I tried to die, either by accident or by choice, I always lived. Something inside of me always saved me.”

“A-always?” Maria asked. “How many times...”

“Ten. This last time didn't count, because I used my power and escaped just before the universe collapsed in upon itself. The Bifrost caught me as I was passing by this universe and dropped me here with Thor.”

“So that is how you arrived.” Thor said. “I had always wondered and our mystics could not detect you to discover your origins.”

I let Maria's hands go and cupped the sides of her face with my hands. “I really am John Hansen. I was born and raised in Kansas. Just not Kansas from this reality.”

“Inter-dimensional travel.” Tony said and then his eyes widened. “Wait, you just said you escaped the last universe as it collapsed.”

I nodded and let Maria's face go.

“Then you're really, really old. Like Earth old.”

I laughed. “No, I've checked. This Earth is about 4.5 billion years old. I'm only just over three billion.”

Everyone just stared at me and no one moved or said anything.

“So, is that it for the debrief?” I asked and no one reacted. “Thor, we really should get going. Asgard isn't going to wait forever for us to arrive.”

Thor shook himself and stood. “Yes, Friend John. Let us depart.” He said and looked at Tony. “I require your brain to construct a device for the tesseract to be used safely.”

“Uh, sure.” Tony said, his face still stunned.

Thor looked at Fury. “You will return Asgardian property immediately.”

Fury snapped out of his shock. “I can't hand over...”

“I feel it is here and I can simply take it back without asking politely.” Thor said, quite pointedly.

Fury sighed and nodded. He sent Maria to get the case it was in and Phil handed Thor the case with the sceptre inside. While we waited for Maria, Thor told Tony how to build the mechanism for the tesseract's use. Fury almost slapped himself in the forehead over how simple the device was. Tony quickly fabricated it and Maria handed the case over.

Thor removed the tesseract and inserted it into the device. “Lock, take the other handle. John, grab his shoulders and I will hold onto Loki's body.”

The others gathered around us to say goodbye and both Maria and Black Widow gave me odd looks.

“If I'm not sentenced to a thousand years in prison or something, I'll come back. We can talk and perhaps work a few things out.” I said to them.

“How many women have you been with?” Maria asked and Black Widow shook her head.

“In all my time alive, I've only had a serious relationship with twelve women. I don't count the two failed ones, since I was the only serious one in those relationships.” I said and the two women looked shocked. “To be fair, I did have an orgy with a woman and eight magical clones that formed a bio-neural network together.”

“Jesus!” Tony gasped. “I thought I had you beat in the sex department!”

“I've had several millennia of practice while pleasing a woman, Tony.” I said and received two genuine blushes from Maria and Natasha. “Here's a parting gift for you, in case I don't get to return for a while.”

Two wardrobes appeared on either side of them.

“Enjoy.” I said and nodded to Thor.

“Farewell, my friends.” Thor said and turned his part of the handle. The tesseract activated and the bright glow of energy quickly flowed out of it and engulfed us.

I felt something was wrong and I reacted immediately as I covered myself in my own magic. I felt myself being gripped by a large hand, as if Death itself gripped me, before I was ripped away from the others and then flung out of the universe.

I would never know the impact my being there had caused.