LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 340
Chapter: 340
The left eye was closed, but the right eye was wide open.
Yet, I couldn’t see anything.
With one eye open, I should be seeing something, but my vision was hazy, as if thick fog had settled in front of me.
Unconsciously, I let out a small chuckle.
[…Your right eye has become murky. Is it a result of using your power? Are you okay?]
At that moment, hearing Lucy’s words, I opened my left eye and checked the state of my right eye reflected in the sword.
Upon closer inspection, as she said, the vibrant red color of my iris had faded, leaving a dull hue behind.
Gray, the color of ashes where flames once burned.
Confirming that my eye was indeed different from before, I instinctively understood.
This wouldn’t be something that could be fixed with regeneration.
I wouldn’t be able to use my right eye properly anymore.
I conveyed to Lucy, who was concerned if I was okay, that the prognosis for my eye didn’t look good.
“…Well, my eye isn’t okay. I can’t see anymore.”
[Hah… Do you think I wouldn’t know whether you can see with that eye or not?]
In response, Lucy let out a frustrated sigh, indicating she hadn’t meant to ask that.
[I was asking if you were okay, not about your eye. I thought you were shocked and lost your senses because you suddenly laughed. Are you fine?]
She seemed to be asking because she thought I looked unwell.
I chuckled and replied to her question.
“I’m fine, really.”
[…There’s no way you can be fine. One eye has become unusable.]
“Really, I’m okay.”
It was indeed a big deal to have lost one eye.
But I truly felt fine.
Because,
“I think it’s a price I paid to protect something much more important than just one eye, so it doesn’t bother me at all.”
Even though I had lost one eye, I had managed to protect something far more significant.
As I responded to Lucy like that, I looked at Yoon Si-woo, who was now breathing steadily with a healthier complexion than before.
While it was true that using my power had taken one of my eyes, just consider having not had that ability at all.
I wouldn’t have been able to defeat Beatrice, nor save Yoon Si-woo’s life.
Reflecting on that potential future, I couldn’t help but feel gratitude towards the power that allowed me to achieve such miraculous results with just one eye lost.
And I had gained this ability originally because I wished for my loved ones to be safe.
From my perspective, it was somewhat like having my wish granted, making it strange not to feel fine about it.
[…No matter how you look at it, what’s good about losing one eye that makes you laugh?]
But Lucy didn’t seem to believe that I was truly okay, regardless of my answer.
It seemed that I looked absurd for laughing even though I had lost an eye.
Of course, I wasn’t laughing because I was happy about being blind, so I explained to her.
“Ah, the reason I laughed is different. One of my constant worries has vanished.”
[Worry? What worry?]
“Um… the worry about whether I had unconsciously used my power earlier.”
[What do you mean… Wait, could it be…]
As I said this, Lucy, sounding troubled, murmured something as if she had realized something.
[…So, besides your eye, was there another part that’s been damaged?]
“Hahaha… Well, I suppose so.”
[…Where else is damaged?]
“Um… I guess it’s my sense of taste, so my tongue.”
[…Again.]
“…Huh?”
[…What else was damaged besides that?]
“……”
I tried not to answer, but Lucy’s continued questioning forced me to awkwardly smile and open my mouth.
“…My nose, my sense of smell too.”
Since the day I suddenly lost my sense of taste, the loss of sensation had been a constant worry for me.
How could it not be?
To suddenly lose a sense that felt perfectly fine.
Having experienced it firsthand, I knew it was indeed a terrible thing.
However, although I had taken losing my sense of taste lightly at first.
Even when everyone was freaking out over foods that tasted terrible, I couldn’t feel any flavor.
Though one of the joys of life had disappeared,
Losing my sense of taste wasn’t a terrible sensation to have while living and fighting.
So, I thought it was likely just a side effect of becoming a witch, and I could force myself to ignore it by pretending to be fine.
But once I realized that along with my sense of taste, my sense of smell was also gone, it was no longer something I could brush off easily.
The recognition of losing both senses came right after Yoon Si-woo woke up from his deep slumber.
On the day Sylvia had fussed about him smelling bad, urging him to wash up quickly.
I had been perplexed, wondering what smell she was reacting to.
At that time, I hadn’t thought deeply because I was overjoyed that Yoon Si-woo had awakened.
But as time passed and I thought back, it seemed suspicious, so I checked alone afterward, only to confirm my suspicions.
Sure enough, along with my sense of taste, my sense of smell was gone as well.
Of course, not having a sense of smell doesn’t greatly impact how one lives.
But unlike just losing my sense of taste, ever since I realized I had lost my sense of smell too, I couldn’t help but feel scared.
First, the sense of taste, then the sense of smell.
Then what follows?
What if one day I couldn’t see?
What if I couldn’t hear?
What if I couldn’t feel anything?
The fear of not knowing when I might lose another sense haunted me nightly, turning into nightmares that plagued me.
The only thing I could do to avoid revealing such torment outwardly was to try not to think about my lost senses and those which might also vanish someday.
If the people around me hadn’t sensed my agony and torment, it was likely because I had worked hard to appear as I was.
But now, I was liberated from those efforts and fears.
“…Anyway, I’ve been really worried about losing other senses out of nowhere, but once I found out the cause, I felt relieved, and it made me laugh.”
I spoke with a smiling face, clearly revealing my relief from shedding that worry.
And Lucy mumbled, as if she couldn’t understand my feelings.
[…I just can’t understand it. With your body in that condition, how can you be laughing just because one worry vanished?]
“…Indeed, I think it’s strange too, but I just can’t stop smiling.”
Even as I agreed with Lucy’s statement, I couldn’t help but suppress the smile spreading across my face.
This laughter wasn’t merely a relief from worrying; there had to be something else.
But why was I smiling so much?
Perhaps, I was,
“…Happy, maybe.”
[Happy? About what?]
Lucy inquired.
With a moment’s hesitation, I responded to her question.
“…It’s that my long-held worry about whether the senses I lost had no meaning actually did.”
Looking back, that was the case.
My sense of taste disappeared after the World Tree, which had been dead due to heavy contamination by magic, revived.
My sense of smell vanished after the cursed relic of the mermaids, the Tears of the Ocean, regained its true form.
“…It wasn’t meaningless. In the end, they were all used for me and the people.”
Things didn’t simply vanish without reason.
The hardships I had gone through didn’t hold no meaning either.
Today, I finally realized that.
That realization brought me a joy strong enough to make me forget all the struggles I had faced up to now.
“…I feel happy.”
The laughter flowed naturally from me.
[…Why would you be happy sacrificing your body for others?]
Like Lucy’s response, this might be a kind of joy that others cannot empathize with.
I once read a fairy tale called “The Happy Prince.”
The statue of the Happy Prince was adorned with gold and jewels.
Feeling pity for the poor, the prince asked a swallow to take the gold and jewels from his body and distribute them among the needy.
However, after endlessly giving away his riches, the prince was left bare and was ultimately discarded by the people.
When I read it, I couldn’t comprehend how it could still be called “The Happy Prince” despite such a sad ending.
But now, I understood the prince.
Surely the prince valued the happiness of those who had become happier than himself.
I too might one day become like the prince if I continue using this power.
However, just like the prince, I would not regret that choice.
While I was lost in such thoughts and smiles,
“Ugh….”
I saw Yoon Si-woo’s eyelids fluttering.
Seeing him as he seemed to be waking up, I quickly turned to Lucy with a sudden thought.
“Ah…! Can you keep my ability a secret from Yoon Si-woo? If he finds out, he’ll definitely not let me fight again, so please…!”
If Yoon Si-woo learns that every time I use my power, my body suffers in some way, he would certainly prevent me from using it, even in absolutely necessary situations.
However, I realized too late that if Lucy told him, it would be game over.
So, I pleaded with Lucy, who sighed and said,
[…Now I understand why I keep getting irritated when I see you. You two are very much alike. You don’t hesitate to sacrifice your own body for others. Watching you is quite exhausting.]
What she thought of me didn’t matter much, so I silently conveyed a pleading gaze toward her.
Then, Lucy sighed again and said,
[But since I can’t dislike you for being similar, fine. I’ll keep it a secret.]
“…Thank you.”
[…You foolish one.]
And right after that conversation,
“Ugh… S-Scarlet?”
Yoon Si-woo opened his eyes.
“Yoon Si-woo! Are you feeling alright?”
“How… What about the Witch of Sloth?”
“Don’t worry about the witch. I managed to take her down somehow.”
“Really…?”
He still seemed to be a bit dazed and unclear, but I diligently answered his question.
During this moment, Yoon Si-woo asked,
“…Scarlet, why is your eye like that?”
And I smiled in response to that question.
“…This? I’m fine, it’s nothing.”