Chapter 78: Failure
A sense of belonging.
Until when would it take before she could feel at ease? That her identity was truly that of Estelle Clareste and not just a dysfunctional version of a human being?
She always had troubles mixing in with the environment, but it did get better as she progressed through the years.
However, one thing was for sure.
She hadn't escaped the stage of denial yet. At least not that she knew of.
Her perceptions were half deluded, with her reality zoning in and out at random times.
She was a powerful being. Albeit possessing a great power, she also had desynchronized outlooks upon the world.
A strange cloud that floated around her heart and mind, causing her to never
The fact that somewhere deep within her heart, she was still treating this entire thing as a simulation. A stupid simulation.
A mastermind working behind everything she faced.
Like a game.
Yes, just like a game. Perhaps it was because of this sentiment that she was able to consistently throw herself into a pit of fire.
Back in her days as Reina, ultra realistic games already existed. The ones who got to try it were only rich people who could afford the entire complicated set of devices, but the technology was already starting to be developed.
Deep within her heart, Estelle still wished that the bomb that exploded wasn't her true end as Reina.
Perhaps, she was admitted into a hospital fast enough that she saved from the brink of death? That she just couldn't gain her consciousness back and thus had to be transferred into a simulation where she played the character of Estelle?
Did reincarnation even exist? Estelle, Heine, Minerva, Yulia, did everyone truly exist? Who could guarantee that everything wasn't just a game storyline made by this 'mastermind'?
No matter how long she lived inside this world, it seemed like the concept never stuck to her brain fully.
Ingenious ideas, things that were purposely made to be out of the box, her innovations, everything was based on the fact that she believed everything was not a cohesive world.
It was a world full of deceptive pits.
She, who wielded the power of Creation could materialize her wishes. What kind of power was that, and why was it allowed? It breaks the balance.
Similarly, Arayle's power countered her too much. To the point where if Arayle had even used fifty percent of her power at all times, Estelle's comeback would've been delayed for decades.
Where was the balance? Everything was so blurry, with the weak being too easy to trample and the strong being too hard to fight off.
Even numbers wouldn't help. If one was strong, then you had to be stronger than them to win.
If not, relying on things like intelligence or petty tricks wouldn't give you much leniency. It will only create a slight discomfort for the strong, but it was extremely easy for them to survive and retaliate.
For example, when Estelle was knocked out, didn't she survive what would've been a lethal injury to someone else who bore her physique?
Didn't she manage to win just because of that sole gap between them?
The man that attacked died quickly, there was no chance for him to pull off something like Estelle and return the blow back to her. He succumbed to his fate without much of a revenge ploy.
To Estelle, the world was a game where she was the main character.
Her decision impacted others the most, her actions brought great changes, and her demise would also, obviously, affect the game.
Because she was one of the main character. The good's counterpart, a Villainess.
A strong Villainess that will triumph over their enemies.
"A Villainess should be strong," Estelle mumbled. "I am strong, but it is nowhere near enough when the 'good' has an ultimate weapon that I'm severely weak against,"
Estelle sighed.
She was now standing on the uneven ground surrounding the storm. The originally tidy ground had been messed up due to the storm's outrage.
She floated to the sky one more time, this time preparing herself to not get dragged by the flow of things. To control the ring.
"Borrow me your power, eh? You don't want to be removed from my finger. Do something for me, then," Estelle brought her curled up fist right in front of her face.
The ring, with the pretty stone now mounted on it was charming and hypnotizing. It made one not want to remove their eyes from the object at all.
"Come, you annoying disaster. I'm going to wipe you out,"
Switching her thoughts to battle mode, Estelle brandished herself to contain the storm.
Determined to rid the city of any remaining chaos, Estelle closed her eyes as she channeled her mana slowly to the ring.
She recalled how the process went in the previous times.
Mana circulated around the surroundings and connected a path like fine line of thread between the two entities: the ring and the storm's core.
Estelle didn't know where the second stone would fit inside her now fully filled out ring socket, but she paid that fact no heed as she played around with her mana and let it submerge and intertwine with the storm's turbulence.
Like in the previous session, her mana acted as a path opener to the storm.
It was unknown whether the storm showed aversion or favor to Estelle's mana and the ring's strange powers, but a guide to the storm was created and now coiled around the supposed core.
[Yes.. It's this easy. It's easy. Control the ring... Calm down.] Estelle repeated, focusing her attention to the core's attainment.
The storm slowly died down, with Estelle's constant efforts dulling the effects bit by bit carefully.
She thought that everything was going to go well.
Only, right after the storm's last bits dispersed, Estelle felt a twist in her heart.
Like a string that existed inside her head was cut short and ripped apart.
This time, there were no screams. Before she was able to scream, she was already on the ground, lacking energy and unable to move.
[Hah.] Estelle scowled.
"I.. couldn't master it, huh?" Weakly, Estelle choked red blood out as her vision blurred. The last thing she heard were shouts of panic from the people she knew.
[Aah.. those guys will be even more worried.. Father...] Estelle laughed, wondering to what extent could her stupidity go.
She constantly made dumb mistakes, but somehow she always ended up safe anyway.
Well, she was one of the world's main characters. If she died, the story would crumble.
Even so, she was still distraught over what happened to her.
It was more of a form of frustration rather than shame from her failure.
According to her predictions and rate of mastery, she was sure that she'd be able to manage the ring's powers.
She could've sworn that she didn't collapse because she failed to contain the storm. The process went by so smoothly, why would it fail all of a sudden?
Estelle calmed herself down and considered her situation.
She had to make use of the time she had, so whenever she wasn't directly taking care of the disaster, she thought about the condition of current ongoing things.
Rather than Arayle, the bigger enemy seemed to be Elias.
Thinking about a certain Underworld's cheery Princess, she also recalled the presence of Yion and Kalis.
Then, her memories went back to Elias, who was a sly opponent.
[Don't tell me.] Estelle frowned. There was a high chance that her suspicion was true.
Arayle always hammered the same sentence at her whenever she asked about Elias.
That he was her teacher, the one that mentored her to use everything she had. That would include her powers, too.
The powers that countered Estelle.
If Estelle had to theorize about something, it would be that of Elias' direct usage of Arayle's type of magic.
The [Destruction Magic].
Whenever Elias used his magic, it was always near a perfection-level mastery.
Through initiation, Estelle was able to tell a slight difference between Arayle, who wielded her natural magic and the likes of Kalis, who borrowed the element from the Princess.
However, Elias leaned more towards the type of Arayle, who wielded an element so natural to them that it felt like breathing.
Just like when Estelle first tried to experiment with Creation Magic and ended up with a decent proficiency just because of casual testing.
If Elias was able to wield Destruction Magic to such a point, then wasn't it likely that he was a royalty from the Underworld?
It was a likely possibility.
Finishing up her straying thoughts, Estelle finally sought her surroundings.
"But.. where.. is this?" Estelle dazedly looked around. She saw nothing but a blank, white space- an endless dimension.
Where was she? Was this another collapse after she eradicated the storm?
What happened with the storm?
Is the city finally safe now?
Why was the smaller storm much more painful than anything she had ever experienced?
Even more than the larger storm.. even more than when she underwent exposure to Arayle's magic?
So many questions plagued her.
Her mind was still dazed.
Her heartbeat was still pumping from the massive pain she took in.
As she felt the discomfort, she felt like a lost child in the sea of void.
Shocked, Estelle then felt her body tense up as she heard an ambient noise starting up.
In the valley of nothingness, the sudden appearance of a sound made her jolt in place.
The sound seemed to come out of nowhere- she turned her head in all directions and still couldn't find out the source.
But she needn't wait for too long, as the perpetrator showed themselves quickly.
"You have exhausted your life force, my child," A gentle voice entered her ears, followed by a chuckle. "Welcome.. to the Eterna, where everything is nothing and nothing is everything,"