LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 1 – Midnight Snack
I looked down. Army fatigues. A gun in my hand. 9mm. I looked up. A shadowy figure wearing colonel fatigues stood before me. So it was going to be one of these. The figure spoke up, its speech slurred through a filter. “Private Cloudton, shoot the dog.” It gestured towards a puppy, a German shepherd, who was tied to a post, wagging its tail, blissfully unaware of the situation it found itself in. I took a slow, deep breath and let it out.
“Yessir, Colonel Cloudton.” I aimed at the shadowy figure, and fired. It stumbled back from the impact. I let the gun drop on the floor and made my way to the puppy, picking it up. It immediately licked my face as I did so.
“Private, you just assaulted a superior officer, that’s a court martial for you!” The figure lunged for me, but I simply turned on my heel and walked out of the tent. Why should I care about what the nightmare version of my father had to say? We’ve had the same song and dance for years now, eleven of them. I didn’t even hear him drop on the ground. I didn’t bother turning around to check.
This was my dream, after all. My mindscape, something I had control over, an environment I couldn’t be harmed in. No matter how much my brain tried to harm me, I had control. Which is why there was a dog park for the puppy to run around in outside the army tent. I appreciated my brain giving me a companion for tonight. But while putting the puppy down, I noticed what clothes the army fatigues had shifted to. A summer dress with a flower pattern. It was something new, something I wasn’t used to seeing. But it was just a piece of fabric, and nobody could see me in my head, so I shrugged it off and chased after the dog.
There was a weight on my chest. I sighed. Sleep paralysis after a nightmare wasn’t uncommon, but it was still annoying. In a dream, I could fight back, I could change the environment, change the assailant, I had control over it. Sleep paralysis, though? I just had to sit there and endure it. So I forced my arm to move with surprising ease for someone who should be paralysed, and I turned my lamp on. The weight on my chest didn’t disappear though, and so I opened my eyes to see what it was.
I was not expecting to find a cute stuffed toy sitting on my chest. Or for said toy, which looked like a cartoon bunny with a cat tail that had a white ribbon tied at the end, to tilt its head as it saw me look at it. “Good, you’re awake!” it said, and I sat up, making it tumble into my lap.
“No, I’m not.” A fake wake-up dream, that’s what this had to be; what other explanation would I have for a stuffed toy barely eight inches tall to be sitting in my lap, looking confused as if it was alive? I extended my will, tried to make the room change, tried to make the toy levitate away from me, but it didn’t work. It just sat there, and waved at me.
“Yeah, you are; I’d pinch you to prove it, but that would be mean!” It pointed right at my face, and that’s when it became clear this was waking life. And in waking life, I was an anxious mess.
“What, what are you? W-why are you in my room?!” I stuttered, my breathing and heart rate immediately picking up the pace. I wasn’t safe anymore. I had no control. And this was my room, an environment I was supposed to have some control over even when awake.
“I’m Potato Bun! A Companion and Guide! And I’m here because you!” Potato Bun floated up and poked me in the chest. “You, my girl, have been chosen to become a Magical Girl, thanks to the Spark you possess!” Potato Bun floated back, smiling wide, and I smiled back at Bun. Very awkwardly.
“I’m, uhm, I’m not, I’m not a g-girl. I, I think that’s obvious? A-at least somewhat?” I wondered why it thought I was one. Maybe it was my anxious demeanor that would be read as shy, or maybe it was my slightly-past-ear length hair I liked to tug on when nervous. Or maybe it was my slight build. Those were really the only factors I could think of that might throw me in the ‘girl’ camp for someone. Potato Bun shook their head at me, pointing to my chest once more.
“You possess a Spark. Only girls, or those close enough to girls, can possess a Spark. And only girls, or those close enough to girls, can transform.” Potato Bun, from completely out of nowhere, pulled out a magic wand. Not a thin stick of a one, this one seemed to have some heft to it, just by the way it looked, and had a crescent moon on one end.
“Uhm, you’re, you’re using really specific wording there. But, but I still don’t think I’m a g-girl, or or or close enough to one.” I pulled the blanket up higher, to cover my face, while my eyes darted around, scanning the room, wondering how I could get out of this situation. They kept falling on the wand.
“Well, there’s an easy test for that! Just grab the wand, say the transformation phrase, and if it doesn’t work you’re not a magical girl!” Potato Bun lifted up towards me. I gulped, audibly and loudly. My mouth felt dry, my hands sweaty. With an uncertain look, I reached out and grabbed hold of the wand. It felt comfortable to hold. While it was about the size of a microphone, it ended up not having the same weight to it. With unsure feet, I crawled out of bed.
“S-so. What, what now?”
“Now you say the activation phrase! You should know it in your heart.” Potato Bun was kind of right. I did know a phrase, but it seemed somewhat silly. Nevertheless, I took a couple deep breaths, to try and not stutter through it.
“Moon, Moon Wand Powers, Shi-Shine!” Despite my failed attempt, the moon on the wand did start glowing, the light went from a crescent moon to a full moon in a span of seconds, which then swiftly flew towards my chest, enveloping me in light.
I wasn’t aware of myself for the next few seconds. I guessed from the outside, it might have looked like an amazing lightshow. But from within? It just felt like sensory deprivation for half a minute. When I regained my senses, my head felt heavier.
Looking down on myself, the outfit reminded me of a certain digital pop idol, although with the color scheme being blue, pink and white. I blinked. I ran to my closet, throwing the door open to look into the mirror within. I had long pink hair tied into twintails, the outfit I alluded to, and my figure was decidedly not as masculine-looking as I was used to. I wanted to be sure, but I also didn’t want to be cliché. My passing interest in transformation stories had left me aware of how many of those transformed into women confirm it with a chest grab. So instead of any of that, I just loudly blubbered. “Wha, huh, how, wha, wait, why, what?!?!”
Of course, the last ‘what’ was loud enough to echo throughout the entire house. Something that was confirmed with the sound of footsteps approaching my room. After knocking on my door, my mom called out from behind it. “David! I’m coming in with a baseball bat! It is not to hurt you!” The door creaked open, and there she stood. No baseball bat in hand. Mom took a look at me, then a look at Potato Bun, then a look at me again. “Who are you? Where’s David?”
I hiccuped. “M-Mom, it’s, it’s me. I, I, I’m D-David. The the the--” I went completely nonverbal at that moment. Nothing except a high pitched whine could get past my lips. I tried as hard as I could to push the words out, but I just couldn’t. So I began using sign language. I had an easier time communicating with it than with my voice. Of course, ASL is a language you have to seek out to learn. Which did limit my ability to communicate with people when I went nonverbal.
“The plush toy is alive and woke me up and said that I’m a Magical Girl that can transform. But I tried telling it that I’m not a girl, that I’m supposed to be a boy, but it insisted that I try transforming and it worked and --” I managed to speak the next few words: “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry--” I was hyperventilating by this point, my thoughts occupied with worries of what mom would do to me.
Of course all of those melted away the moment she approached me and gently cupped my face. “Deep breaths, David, deep breaths, in for four, out for four. It’s going to be fine, it’s going to be okay, I’m here. Does this hurt?” She looked down at my outfit, since her hands were busy. And that made me think. It didn’t hurt.
With my voice once again stuck from anxiety, I signed my reply. “It doesn’t hurt, it just feels weird. Because I’m supposed to be a boy, but I’m physically a girl now, I think, I didn’t check, and I don’t mind it. I. I think I kind of like it? And I don’t know what that means.” Mom nodded at my response.
“You take your time figuring that out, sweetie, I’m here for you no matter what conclusion you reach.” She then turned towards Potato Bun, as her expression shifted from caring and protective to angry and protective. She reached out for Potato Bun and grasped it by the head, holding it right to her face. “Okay, listen here, you piece of shit, what is this about my child being a Magical Girl? What kind of bullshit are you trying to recruit David for?”
Potato Bun was trying to wriggle its way out of my mom’s grasp while answering. “Magical Girls are those possessing a Spark, with the ability to transform and fight the Nightmares born of the fears and anxieties and extreme emotions of humans! Without them the world would fall to ruin under the influence of Nightmares!”
I could see Mom hold on tighter. “So a child soldier. You’re trying to make my kid a child soldier, in some secret war. I will not have it. Tell David how to transform back, and then fuck off.” She threw Potato Bun against the wall hard, but it just bounced off.
“Mrs. Mom--”
“That’s DOCTOR Pamela Cloudton to you, Mr. Recruiter.”
“I’m Miss Potato Bun. Doctor Cloudton, David has to fight! And will end up fighting! Those possessing a Spark have a strong sense of justice, of right and wrong, a moral compass always pointed in the right direction! Even if you try to stop her, she will eventually end up transforming of her own will, to protect those she cares about!” Potato Bun rubbed her temple while floating up, hissing from the hit. “And it is my job to be there for her when that happens.”
Mom turned to me. “David, you okay with Potato Bun using those pronouns for you, or should I make her stop?”
I signed back, “I don’t mind them? Still not sure why, because I think I should mind them, but I don’t. It’s odd.” Mom nodded.
“Again, give it some thought sweetie, I can try using them for you as well if you want. Right now though, you need to change back into your pyjamas and go to sleep, it’s nearly midnight and you have school tomorrow.” Mom gently rubbed my cheek with her thumb to comfort me further, and I shakily smiled at her and nodded.
“Well, the phrase to transform back is ‘Moon Wand Powers, Dim.’ I don’t know why you’d want to transform back right now. We need to go on patrol for Nightmares!” Potato Bun threw her fist in the air.
“M. M-Moo.” I was trying my best to push the phrase out. “Moon Wand P-Powers, Di-Dim.” The change back didn’t feel as drastic as the first transformation. I just glowed for a second and then the light poofed away, like a projection over me disappearing. Mom held my hand and helped me get to bed.
“David is a sixteen-year-old high school student with an anxiety disorder. He will not be going outside at midnight to hunt for creepy crawlies because some fucking mascot told him to.” Mom kissed my forehead and tucked me in, brushing my hair slightly. “You, Miss Potato Bun, better not try and recruit my kid again. Or I will find out whether you’re full of stuffing or have actual organs.” She turned off the light and made her way out of my room, stopping on the threshold “Good night, David. And good luck with the feelings this situation brought up.” She closed the door and I my eyes, and shortly I was dozing off once more.