A Perverted Galaxy Far Far Away (Star Wars)

A/N: Here's the new Chapter! Which also means the next four chapters are up on my Patreon for early access as well as the chance to vote on the direction of the story!

Solutions are rarely perfect. Sometimes you've just gotta pick the option you can live with~

-x-X-x-

“You can’t be serious. MAYBE consider keeping control for yourself as a failsafe, but the Jedi High Council can’t be trusted with that sort of power any more than Palpatine!”

In fact, you’re the only person I’d consider trusting with that sort of power for any length of time… and only temporarily until this war is over and done with.

Tylo pauses at that, both in regard to Bo-Katan’s words but also her thoughts. He wouldn’t have expected her to advocate for keeping the biochips operational at all, to be honest. Nor would he have thought he would be the only person she’d trust with such power. Sure they had a decent relationship, but that was a lot of faith she was willing to put in him.

Then again, this was the woman who regularly begged him to choke her out while they had sex. In a way, it made perfect sense that Bo-Katan would have so much trust in him. Still, her words about the Jedi High Council… Tylo expects Aayla to speak up considering she’s quite literally ON the Jedi High Council. And she does. Just… she doesn’t say what he’s expecting.

“Bo-Katan might have a point.”

That sends a jolt of surprise through the room, even as Aayla looks at Tylo meaningfully.

Obviously, I do not consider the Council to be as bad as a Sith Lord who has managed to gain control of the entirety of the Republic. But… I have to admit, my faith in my fellow Jedi Masters, especially those who came before me, has been shaken over the course of this war so far. The Dark Side has blinded them… as evidenced by the fact that we are the only ones who have even bothered with uncovering this massive conspiracy.

That… is a very fair point. Outwardly, Aayla rolls her shoulders and huffs.

“I do not think giving control of Order Zero to the Jedi High Council is the solution. But nor do I think that keeping control for ourselves is the right course of action either. What we’ve done with the Clone Army so far has already been too close to slavery for my tastes as it is.”

Oh? Tylo stays quiet as Aayla makes her opinion known. Bo-Katan is the one who speaks up instead, huffing as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“By the laws of your Republic, the clones aren’t people and thus can’t BE enslaved. Besides, what if Palpatine finds out the biochips have been disabled and reacts poorly before we’re ready? What if he finds a way to reactivate them and carry out his plan anyways?”

The Clone Army’s freedom and right to exist is something we can figure out after the Sith Lord is dealt with. And it WILL be figured out. But until then…

Both Bo-Katan and Aayla raise good points. Though Tylo hadn’t expected either of them to be on the side they were on. No… that wasn’t quite right. He wasn’t too surprised that Aayla was on the ‘slavery is bad’ side and finding out that she had lost trust and faith in the Jedi High Council, while shocking, made sense in its own way.

But he is surprised that Bo-Katan is taking the stance of wanting to keep the biochips active and under THEIR control. Her rationale is sound to be sure, he just wouldn’t have thought she would be willing to condemn all of her clones and the clones of the others to potential slavery, even with him as their Master.

Of course, at the end of the day… Tylo himself didn’t want this power. Maybe a few hours ago when he was still steeped in the Dark Side he could have been persuaded but now? After destroying Plagueis’ holocron and engaging in that much needed Light Side Meditation with Aayla, Tylo was thinking as clearly as he’d ever been… and no part of him wanted to have absolute control over the Clone Army. He didn’t want to be able to give orders to the clones that they would have to be forced to follow against their will anymore than he wanted Palpatine to have that power.

… But he also had to agree with Aayla and Bo-Katan about not handing such control over to the Jedi Council either. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them in general… he just didn’t trust them with this. Their judgment was clouded, likely by design given Palpatine had been hiding his true nature right in front of their faces for a decade as Chancellor now.

All of that said… Tylo looks to Maris, only for the Zabrak Padawan to freeze up in response.

Please don’t ask for my opinion. Pleasepleaseplease…

Giving her a soft smile, Tylo gestures to the mainframe.

“Maris, what exactly are our options for permanently disabling the biochips? Can they be turned off without Sidious being aware of it? Can they be disabled without him being able to turn them back on?”

Oh! Options! I can do options!

Turning back to the terminal she’d been working at before, Maris’ fingers fly across the keyboard, the Zabrak Padawan’s lips compressing into a thin line as her eyes dart back and forth across the screen in front of her.

Silence falls as they all watch her work for a moment, with Tylo smiling slightly at the rambling tone that her inner voice takes on. He can barely make sense of some of the things she’s ‘saying’ to herself inside her own mind, but he remains focused on Maris all the same… mostly because he’s already made up his mind at this point and doesn’t want to be influenced any further by the women on either side of him. Finally, Maris looks up with a grimace.

Damn it…

“We technically can use Order Zero to destroy the biochips entirely… but if we destroy the biochips, some of the clones will die and ALL of them will exhibit symptoms for a period of time after the destruction. It’ll be rather… obvious. On the other hand, I think I can disable the biochips without Palpatine knowing they’re no longer going to work for him, but I can’t say for sure. And I can’t say with one hundred percent certainty that they can’t be reenabled either. Order Zero is pretty absolute though. Without access to it, it shouldn’t be reversible.”

… Right then. Well, that made this easy enough. Moving over to Maris’ side, Tylo nods to the Zabrak Padawan.

“Disable the biochips entirely and then set this base to self-destruct. We’ll destroy this place and Order Zero on the way out.”

Fuck he’s hot when he’s giving orders.

Maris stares at him with wide eyes for a moment before blushing at her own inner thoughts and turning to carry out his instructions. Meanwhile, Bo-Katan grunts from behind him.

“How do we know this is the only place where Order Zero is stored? What if there’s another lab, another holocron, and another Order Zero held elsewhere?”

Letting out a sigh, Tylo shakes his head.

“We don’t know. But I refuse to become a slaver. The Republic might not consider the Clone Army to be people for the purposes of slavery, but I do. Those clones, whether they’re yours or any of the other three templates… are people. They’re living, breathing, thinking individuals who deserve a right to make their own choices.”

Tylo grimaces.

“I know that as things currently stand, we can’t free them from their service to the Republic or the Jedi. Even exposing Palpatine as Darth Sidious wouldn’t end their suffering right away or I would do it in a heartbeat. But I swear to you all, right here and right now, that I’m not going to let things stand. Palpatine and Dooku will be defeated. The war will end. And the clones will be freed. More than freed, they’ll be taken care of. It’s the least they deserve after what they’ve done for the Republic and how they’ve been used by the Sith. That… that is my pledge.”

Silence falls at his words, with Tylo deliberately NOT seeking out reassurance or comfort by listening in on their thoughts. This is his decision and his decision alone. He never thought he would have the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders like this. Annie was supposed to be the Chosen One after all. But Annie Skywalker wasn’t here right now. Tylo Vondin was. And whatever consequences came of this… they would be his and his alone.

“… It’s done, Knight Vondin. And I’ve set the base’s self-destruct for sixty minutes from now, since we’re not in a hurry.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

They all follow him out of Darth Plagueis’ lab and down the hall to the exit. Tylo doesn’t stop to consider whether there’s anything worth taking with them from the base. The whole place is steeped in the Dark Side and so would anything that they decided to bring along. They were already taking one Dark Side Thing in the form of Asajj Ventress with them… so they really didn’t need anything else.

Of course, when they reach the landing pad, they find Janga, Boba, and Rook all waiting for them outside their ships. Tylo doesn’t hesitate to let them know what’s happening.

“Base is set to self-destruct in about fifty-five more minutes. Plenty of time for us to get out of here, but just so you all know.”

Makes sense. Jedi love to destroy shit they can’t control. Heh, probably couldn’t ‘purify’ that Dark Side taint after all so now they have to blow it the fuck up.

Tylo hides his wince as he picks up that thought even as outwardly Janga nods sharply. Seems Boba and Rook haven’t had a chance to tell her about the biochip or Order Zero just yet. And maybe Janga didn’t know about the biochips to begin with. Wouldn’t that be nice?

“Were you serious about helping me deal with Death Watch?”

Pausing, Tylo barely hesitates before nodding.

“Completely serious, yes.”

Let’s find out then, shall we?

“Then you’re with us. We’re heading straight for Mandalore.”

Ah, a test. One that Tylo was actually all too happy to pass.

“Alright then. Let’s get going.”

Janga hides her surprise, though he still hears it in her mind. However, just as he starts forward…

“Hold. We will all be accompanying you to Mandalore, so I see no reason that Knight Vondin should travel aboard your ship instead of ours.”

Everyone pauses at Aayla’s words, Janga’s head tilting to the side as she looks over at the blue Twi’lek.

“Oh? And here he said he couldn’t vouch for his fellow Jedi.”

Smiling placidly, Aayla simply shrugs.

“You will have need of a Jedi Master if you intend to go to Mandalore. Especially seeing as when we were last there, Tylo summoned another Jedi Master and his troops to the planet in order to help Duchess Satine Kryze with her own Death Watch problem.”

Tylo blushes at the reminder and also realizes Aayla is right. Obi-Wan Kenobi is probably still on Mandalore right now. Going there with just Janga would be… well, Kenobi isn’t a bad person or anything. He’s the quintessential Jedi in fact. But… he and Tylo have never truly gotten along. It’s sort of a quasi in law relationship, where Obi-Wan is Annie’s father and hates Tylo for being a bad influence on his daughter or something.

“I propose a solution. Knight Vondin accompanies you on your ship… and young Boba and her bodyguard Rook Kast accompany us on ours.”

Wait, what? Tylo throws Aayla a glance but she just smiles at him mysteriously. Well, it would be mysterious if he couldn’t read her mind anyways.

Janga Fett wishes for the chance to thank you personally, Tylo. I suggest we give it to her.

Huh?! Where was that coming from?! He hadn’t read anything like that in Janga’s mind! Eyes twinkling, Aayla notes his incredulity and smiles wider.

Trust me, Tylo. A woman knows… even when the other woman might not know it herself just yet.

That was ridiculous. There was no way that-

“Fine. We’ll all go to Mandalore together. Vondin, with me. Boba… be good.”

“Mom!”

The only one who doesn’t seem to like this idea is Boba Fett herself. Which… fair. But Janga just places a hand on the top of her head and she goes still.

“It will only be for a short while. We shall see each other tomorrow when we come out of hyperspace and land on Mandalore. Understood?”

“… Yes mom. Understood.”

And with that, Tylo finds himself hustling aboard Janga’s ship, suddenly all alone with the merciless, infamous bounty hunter… and a shackled, chained up Asajj Ventress in the brig of course. If not for everything that had happened so far, all of the secrets that had been revealed, and his own innate mutation giving him the cheat code to every social interaction, Tylo might have thought it some massive Sith Trap.

But no. Janga would never let Aayla have her daughter again if she were truly still in league with the Sith. That said… Aayla couldn’t possibly be right, could she? Surely Janga Fett wasn’t actually interested in doing that sort of thing with him after all their time as adversaries.

-x-X-x-

What was she doing? Janga herself didn’t fully know. The idea had only come to her a short while ago after she’d finished the repairs on her prosthetic hands. She’d been able to do a quick reboot and a patch job back in the now-destroyed Sith Laboratory, but only back on her ship with some downtime had she been able to enact full repairs.

Learning to live with synthetic hands had been a chore at first, but these days she was pretty good at it. In fact, at times she preferred the… extended functionality of such ‘hands’ in regard to how they helped her carry out her jobs and missions.

Tch. Jobs and missions. She’d been working for Count Dooku since the war began and he’d rescued her from the Jedi’s clutches only to find out that he’d not only known where her daughter was all along but sent Ventress of all people to stick Boba with the fucking Death Watch. To say Janga was furious would be an understatement.

But that didn’t quite explain why she was standing outside of the Jedi’s quarters late at night while their ship was in transit to Mandalore. It didn’t explain what exactly she intended to do next. Still… after a moment, she opens the door and steps inside. He’s waiting for her, of course. Smart one, this Jedi. He’s sitting at the table rather than on his bed and he’s watching her when she enters with an expectant look.

“Something you needed?”

She approves of his paranoia. But even still… how does she explain what she needs right now? How does she explain what she wants? Part of her just wants to reach out and take it. That’s who Janga Fett is after all. But is that really appropriate in this particular set of circumstances?

[ ] Janga thinks better of this and backs off for now - 1%