A New Hope Nier

'I should have known this was going to happen' I mentally groaned as I tried to blink away the left-over lethargy from the painkiller I had taken previously.

Now what I was groaning about was both A2 and E6 sitting in a couple of chairs they moved next to my bunk and creepily staring at me as I slept. Well, I assume E6 was staring at me as she was still wearing a blindfold.

"Human after checking the wound we must report it is healing at a highly accelerated rate and thus we are unsure if you had an explanation," E6 spoke and even if her tone was monotone, I could tell she was feeling worried by the way she was clutching her hands tightly in her hands.

I moved my previously messed up shoulder in a weak shrug and instead of a lance of agony ripping through my body, it was a dull ache that blanketed my body. I helplessly replied. "I have no idea as I literally just woke up here a day ago. Also, my name is Jake Barris, stop calling me just human."

The androids shared a look and replied in unison. "Affirmative." I facepalmed at my shitty situation. 'I mean why send me to this grim dark land when High School DxD was perfectly fine this time of year... Well, this is probably better than SoulsBorne Universe.' I thought wryly

"So, any thoughts on why I am healing faster?" I asked and E6 shook her head in denial. "We don't know all that much about humans as that's privileged information."

A2 snorted at her reply and both androids tensed before I snapped my finger getting their attention. "Did you have something to tell the class A2?"

She seemed to be deep in thought before she hesitatingly replied. "In my travels during my exile, I met a couple of twin androids who were caretakers for humans during one of their projects to save them and they shared a bit of the data on the experiments. It was shown that humans with abnormally strong souls are able to do weird things and even magic later on if trained."

I have a very strong suspicion that by training she means a hellish series of experiments/torture.

"So do you have the methods for that so-called training," I said leadingly.

She shook her head sadly replying apologetically. "I am afraid not as I saw no point with there being no humans on the planet. Or so I thought." She muttered at the end.

While the androids were just sitting there silently watching me as I dozed after our conversation, I heard a loud 'Bing' noise that almost made me roll out of bed to get my Hot Pockets as it was close to the same sound my toaster oven would make but I remembered that we have a different little toaster oven in the bunker.

As the androids were sharing a silent conversation, I was honestly depressed as it struck me, I was likely never going to eat a real hamburger with a Dr. Pepper again let alone any of the other luxury foods I was so used to previously.

I sat up and grabbed a flashlight and mirror to check my wound in better detail and after pulling off the bandages that were wrapped with way too much gauze it reminded me that they stripped me and checked me for wounds as I slept...

Shaking my head at the uncomfortable thoughts that crossed my mind as I doubted, they did anything bad to me. [Little did I know they filmed the whole process of checking my body and sent the video back to YoRHa to confirm my health.] E6 was right as I had lost all the skin where the projectile hit me and had a good bit of muscle exposed but now it was healed over but left a nasty-looking purple bruise.

"Jake we would like to request the aid of the twin androids that previously worked with humans' wellbeing," E6 announced as they broke their silent huddle.

I raised an eyebrow in confusion as I questioned. "But I am already healing up just fine is it worth getting more attention?" I asked tiredly as I knew at this point, I was likely going to be handled like loose sand in a windstorm as they would not let me go from their clenched hands in fear of me blowing away.

They both nodded in assent and A2 responded. "It was decided that E6 would approach them as being an active-duty member of YoRHa would provide a guarantee as well as she would be bringing the bandages from last night that are dirtied with your blood."

I was assuming that their sensors would be able to pick up a roundabout age for said blood on the bandages as I knew for a fact that old bloody things tend to basically turn black after the blood basically rots within a couple of days.

I just shrugged and winced at the pulling feeling from my shoulder and A2 grabbed my knee gently as a form of solidarity from my pain.

"Ok fine, go get them but if they try to do some experiment with me, I ask you to throw them out on their ass."

They nodded as though it was common sense. "If anything or anyone attempts to harm you they will face the full offensive force of YoRHa and the resistance army," E6 spoke making me ponder her question.

"Wait how exposed am I at this point?" I asked getting to my feet and started walking gingerly to the tool rack on one of the walls.

I was about to take down the pickaxe and hoe, but I remembered I now have beings that literally worship the ground I walk on, "Only the members of YoRHa and the leader of the resistance know of your existence at this moment." Wait a damn second, I caught her meaning. So basically, everyone in YoRHa is aware of me...

"Am I going to wake up to several dozen panty-flashing androids staring at me as I sleep..." I asked turning to look at the flummoxed E6.

A2 lost her shit and started laughing at E6 and pointing at her as she laughed but I cut her off as well. "You aren't any different with that body suit on as well miss diamond nipples."

The room went silent as E6 I could tell wasn't as brusque as A2 or really having much of a sense of humor in general but A2 went stock still and looked down at her chest almost questioningly. "Why are you looking at my nipples though? I am not capable of being pregnant?" She asked confusedly, I could hear the embarrassment in her voice, but I wasn't sure if she just realized it or was just embarrassed a human pointed out her glass cutters.

"Here help me carry this stuff outside while I teach you a bit about Humans and how degenerate we are."

A2 and E6 helped me carry out some tools outside the vault while I brought some stakes and a length of string.

"Ok E6 you can go ahead and try to find those twins while I work with A2 to start a farm as I will need fresh food sooner rather than later."

E6 didn't

seem to want to move as she stood there and I saw her kinda kick the floor a bit in almost childish disappointment. "I wanted to hear about humans though..." She spoke softly and was clearly staring at the ground as her pod started nudging her to move along.

I just shook my head in amusement and just chuckled. "Ok E6 either you can stay here, and we can have the talk while you help us work and you could go find the twins at a later date. Or we can have this particular talk later when you get back." I offered.

E6 nodded quickly replying. "Please save this conversation for me to be there and record it..." I almost had a heart attack as I realized these androids were going to take my word as gospel and unless I wanted to go off the deep end, I was going to quickly corrupt them ii I kept speaking so carelessly.

I could just imagine it... "Hey girls my dick is hard, and I have a case of blue balls which is a serious medical emergency could you please help me out?"

Yeah, that would go over well...

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