A Murder Wizards Adventure

"Wow, they found a token pretty quickly huh, did you teach them something to make them such good trackers, or was it just luck?" Minato exclaims to me as we watch the second event through the various cameras scattered throughout the forest.

The event started a few minutes ago and we saw as my Genin beelined it straight to the nearest token.

The other Jonin are also looking at me to hear the answer to Minato's question. Well, I say looking, but 'glaring suspiciously' would probably be more accurate for most of them.

Of course, Minato doesn't even think that I might be cheating, but as I have said many times, he really is just too kind.

"Must have been luck, guess one of them is carrying a rabbits foot or something." I carelessly respond, waving my hand in the air as if to dispel the suspicion of the other Jonin.

Not that the suspicion is misplaced, I 𝘢𝘮 cheating after all.

First I got Mantis to volunteer to be one of the exam proctors, well, I had to 'convince' a couple other Shinobi to not volunteer, and I'm pretty sure that Takeshi caught on to what I was doing, but he didn't say anything and I don't think he even told Hiruzen.

Then I just got Mantis to slip my little Genin a map I'd made earlier, after scouting out the forest and finding all of the tokens myself with invisible shadow clones.

As a side note, the things I can accomplish with a group of invisible clones are amazing, but I also don't like using shadow clones if I can avoid it, because it feels like I'm dying every time, and even if I don't fear death, that doesn't mean I enjoy it.

And I can say with confidence that I have experienced death more often than anyone else in the world, so I'd say I'm something of a credited source on the enjoyability subject.

Though, as I see my team heading to the next token, I do notice how they take a detour that I know for a fact should be unnecessary, thankfully that is when one of my aforementioned invisible clones pops itself, correctly judging that the information it can provide me with is more valuable than it's life.

This is why I dislike the Jutsu, because nothing is more valuable than my life, yet the clone Jutsu twists that, because it's the original's life that has that value, which causes a dichotomy in my clone selves.

Fucking annoying is what it is.

Anyway, it turns out that the reason my little Genin felt the need to take a detour is because of a giant snake, coincidentally appearing in their path.

I turn my head to the side and look at Orochimaru out of the corner of my eye and he meets my look with one of his own.

We lock eyes for a moment before he smirks.

Heh.

I feel myself making a similar smirk back at this development.

Looks like I'm not the only one cheating.

Good.

It will be more fun this way, a game inside of a game. Oh how I love convoluted games.

It's why I love Jokers Poker so much, there is just so much to keep track of and no way to know if everything you know is even true.

𝘈𝘩𝘩𝘯~

I love it so much, the unpredictability, the challenge, the possibility for defeat, no matter what you do, it's with a startling clarity that I suddenly realise something.

When was the last time I felt like that?

When was the last time I felt that challenge? That feeling as you blood pumps harder through your veins than ever before, and you are unsure if what lies before you is victory or defeat.

The feeling that only comes when you know you are one single, miniscule mistake away from failure, from 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩.

When was the last time I truly felt these things?

When did everything become so... easy?

What happened? How did I not notice?

I think I know why actually, why I'm noticing it now at least.

My latest Jutsu, Railgun.

It was the last thing I lacked, overwhelming firepower.

I have unmatched stealth, I'm fast, skilled, strong, durable, I have reserves that could make an Uzumaki blush, the only thing I lacked was stopping power.

But now? Now I would face Madara.

The thought makes me still in shock.

My entire life here, Madara and Hashirama have always represented the peak of the world.

No matter how strong I got, I would always be humbled by the fact that the two of them could slap me around like a disobedient step son.

So I wouldn't even think about fighting them, about even having a chance against them, I knew my limits and my limits were them.

But now? Now if I came across Madara or Hashirama.. I wouldn't run away or give up a futile struggle.

I would fight. Because I would believe that I actually have a chance at victory.

The revelation that I might actually be the like the next Madara, if a little lower, I'm not arrogant enough to assume I am above him, just that I might be able to win, since my fighting style relies on tricks and quick finishes, in any prolonged fight he wins every time, but if he doesn't know my abilities..?

Well, then I might win and the thought brings me indescribable sadness, the likes of which I don't think I have ever felt in either of my lives, not even in any of my clones have I felt so.. lost?

Is this how Madara felt, when there was no one good enough to fight him?

I know he loved a good fight, just like me. Did he feel this, this... emptiness?

Then, the moment passes, and I am myself again.

Point for sociopathy, emotions don't last, even the crap ones. But the fact remains, the emotions only dulled by my being.

But then, the world brightens again.

"Woah, your team found another token! Too bad Orochimaru-san's team found it at the same time, looks like there's gonna be a fight."

That's right.

Minato.

He's still here, and he is a genius beyond Kakashi, beyond anyone I've ever known.

He is the future Hokage and one of the strongest men to ever live, even now, he beats me in most spars, the only question is, what if we weren't holding back?

But he'd never accept that, to risk dying, or worse, killing a friend. He wouldn't do it.

Maybe this is part of why Madara and Hashirama fought? I don't know the story behind that after all. Maybe he felt the way I did, worried that there was no one left that could kill him.

That no one can give us that feeling of danger, the adrenaline of looming death.

Would I betray the village, turn against everyone, just so that I can properly fight Minato? Re creating the fight of the first Kage, only with the Forth Hokage taking his place, Kushina taking Mito's and me, Madara.

I look to my side, from where I was staring of into space, lost in though as I am.

I look at Minato's face, as he watches the screens, cheering on my Genin even though he doesn't know them, just because they are 𝘮𝘺 Genin.

I watch the way his face lights up when one of mine scores a hit, then he notices my stare and turns to me, a tilt to his head and a questioning expression on his face.

"Is something the matter Hana?" He asks, simply concerned for his friend and nothing else.

I look away first, facing back towards the screens with a small smile and closing my eyes, tilting my head upwards slightly.

Nah, why would I want to do any of that?

Life's pretty chill, and I like my wealthy, sexually active lifestyle thank you very much, betraying the village would be such a logistical pain in the ass.

Besides, I'm not Madara, despite the parallels, we are different people, it would be lame of me to just copy him because he's cool.

Nah, imma just stay here, with my friend, and enjoy our spars as they come.

Who knows, maybe someday he will invent some bullshit Fuinjutsu that will let us go all out without the risk of death?

Wouldn't be able to find out if he died.

With that thought comes another one.

I need to make some sort of inter-dimensional attack.

I open my eyes, and side eye Minato, who is looking slightly worriedly in my direction, I think the only reason he hasn't said anything yet is the happy smile still on my face.

"Hey Minato, after this, wanna spar?" I ask, already sure of the answer.

"Sure thing! I'll let Kushina know."

He doesn't even hesitate.

Because that is the kind of person Minato is. A man who will never hesitate for the sake of his friends.

Damnit, point down for sociopathy.

I have no experience with most emotions.

I don't even know what words exactly to use to describe what I'm feeling.

But I understand the gratitude I feel as Minato says nothing as I have to wipe away a tear, only offering me a supportive smile that just makes me want to cry more.

Goddamnit, this is so lame.

By the time I've gotten a hold of my self again, the fight is already over and my Genin are surrounding Anko as Tokara gets the token.

That was fast, it's not like I took long to get a hold on myself, which means the fight was over pretty quickly.

Heh.

I turn my head slightly so I can once again look at Orochimaru out of the corner of my eye, and when he notices my look, this time, 𝘐'𝘮 the one smirking.

Orochimaru doesn't disappoint and returns my smirk with one of his own.

Well, my team have pretty much passed, and they got two tokens too, which means only four teams are likely to pass.

If you're wondering why I would want that, it's because there are only four interesting squads here, and I don't want to waste my time watching nobodies fighting.

Instead, the tournament will be Orochimaru's team, Minato's, Choza's and my team.

I fully expect my team to lose around the middle of the tournament, but that's fine, anyone who makes it to the tournament can be promoted, so I have basically already won.

Looking at the screens, I see that team Minato is about to come across one of the no name teams.

"looks like both our squads are getting a fight this round." I mention to Minato, who acknowledges my words with a nod while focusing intensely on the screens.

I bump him on the shoulder to properly get his attention.

"Relax, Kakashi will probably just take them all out by his self, you don't need to worry about the brats."

Minato smiles at my reassurance, and just as I said, once the two teams come in to contact with each other, the other team is taken apart by Kakashi before they, or Kakashi's own team, can even realise what is going on.

Scary kid.

"Hey, Minato, when are you going to propose to Kushina?" I casually ask.

Due to my tone, it takes Minato a moment to actually process my words, but when he does he turns to me as fast as the flash that got him his moniker, and looks at me with an absolutely scandalised expression.

With his face just there, mouth opening and closing like a fish, I decide to speak for him, since he's clearly incapable of words right now.

"My friend, just propose already, it doesn't matter if there's a war on, it's not like a wedding needs to take a month or anything, and it'll make her happy."

Minato's face remains shocked for a moment before he basically pouts at me.

"Fine, but only if you do the same."

"You want me to propose to Kushina?" I ask, purposefully misunderstanding him.

"NO! I meant to Tsunade!" He exclaims, horrified at the thought, until he sees my mirthful face and realises I was just screwing with him.

Minato groans with a whine of 'why do you do this to me', while I simply think to myself.

Should I marry Tsunade?

I don't see why not, I'd become the patriarch of one of the founding clans of Konoha, I could break even more rules without punishment.

Decision made, I smile with thoughts of the future.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

I think the music I was listening to influenced this chap lmao, for those of you curious, the song I was listening to for the sappy part was 'fairytale' by alaxander ryback.

I think it won eurovision like, three times.

Also, would any of you sub to a pat/reon if I made one, despite already having a Kofi, which is just the exact same? Because if so, tell me and I'll probs make one.

There, i made one

Advanced chapters with the links below!

pat/reon.com/user?u=41732867 (get rid of the first slash)

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works

https://discord.gg/Pj3Dttwses