A Murder Wizards Adventure

The written exam was as boring as expected, there was some cheating but none of it was interesting enough that the Jonin present couldn't easily see through it.

And what a group of Jonin it is.

We are all watching the exams together, Minato and I quickly found each other and have just been hanging out, something we don't actually get to do that much.

But us two Sages are not the only people of note here, indeed, across from us sits Chōza Akimichi, the new head of the Akimichi clan, and teammates with Shikaku Nara and Inoichi Yamanaka, forming the classic Ina-Shika-Cho team.

Chōza has been studiously ignoring me, probably finding it awkward to talk with me considering the situation between me and one of his closest friends.

But more important than him, is one of the most dangerous people in the world.

Orochimaru.

Then again, every major fight I know about him being in either involved him picking on kids or getting his ass kicked by adults, so I don't know how dangerous I should really label him.

In fact, I am pretty confident that I could kick his ass rather easily, this confidence being backed up by the fact that I know for certain that Minato can kick the collective asses of everyone in the village, yet I can hold my own against him.

I could even have a chance at winning if I was willing to kill him, then again, if he was willing to kill me as well, we'd probably be about even.

Think about it, if we both fought each other full force, then I would be facing someone I can barely hit, and I will never really know where he is going to show up next.

Meanwhile, he will be fighting an opponent that he cannot see nor sense, with no knowledge of where I am except for when I attack.

It would basically just devolve into me attacking him, him teleporting behind me and missing his attack to dodge my next and appear where I shot it from, over and over again, like a demented game of cat and mouse.

But still, Orochimaru is an influential figure, and he is still friends with my girlfriend, so I gotta play nice anyway.

Not that I go through any extra effort to interact with him, the dude is seriously creepy.

Anyway, the first test is over and done with, so now it is time for the treasure hunt.

I settle down in the camera room for a good show, bringing out some snacks to share with Minato, I would have shared some with Chōza too, but he was way ahead of me and has already been eating some dango.

This will be fun to watch.

[POV: Anko Mitarashi]

When Orochimaru-sama said we would be taking the Chunin exam, I was really excited.

Not only does it sound like it would be super fun, but this would finally be a chance to properly show Orochimaru-sama just how much I have improved!

But now, I'm kind of bored.

Who knew the Chunin exam involved 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴? Are we here to be ninja or to be stupid pencil pushers?

Seriously, this sucks!

To pass the time after filling in the test, just because it's boring doesn't mean I'm 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥, I've been shooting spitballs at the other contestants.

There are exactly thirty of us, so I have had plenty of targets.

Orochimaru-sama said that there are two teams to look out for, the students of the Legendary Sages themselves, Minato and Hanabira.

Apparently, Minato has a super genius in his team called Kakashi, who graduated even earlier than Hanabira, who had set the previous record, without even having Shinobi parents at that.

But his teammates are just a disappointing Uchiha and some girl who's ass I bet I could easily beat, in a purely combative manner of course.

Then Hanabira's team, according to Orochimaru-sama, they have got plenty of real life experience, their Sensei not seeing the need to hold their hand through anything.

I ignore the part of me that wishes Orochimaru-sama would place that same level of trust in me.

They have a pretty decent Kenjutsu user, a Suiton user but the other one seems to be a bit of a mystery, but Orochimaru also said that he is Hanabira's favourite and is likely the trump card.

I wonder if I'm Orochimaru-sama's favourite, he does teach me more Jutsu than the other two, and he even taught me about all of that immortality stuff.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by the exam proctor, I didn't pay attention to their name, who claps his hands and waits until everyone's eyes are on him.

"Alright! That is your time up for the written portion of your exam, turn your papers over and I will collect them in a moment."

His piece said, he starts gathering up the papers, as he said he would, and right as he is standing back at the front of the room with all of our papers in hand, he just gives the room a look, and then sets the pile on fire and throws it away.

What the hell.

What was the point in all of that if you were just going to burn it anyway!?

"You. You, you, you and all of you, you all fail, get lost." He says, pointing alternatingly at various other participants before pointing a thumb to the door.

Most of them try to argue it, but I ignore them, Orochimaru-sama says that Ninja never do anything without reason, and we should seek to understand those reasons, to better predict the future or something like that.

So I try and figure out why those guys specifically got failed.

Unfortunately, I wasn't paying much attention to the others, stupid Anko, I should have been paying attention to everyone, no matter how boring it is.

So, by the time they have all been escorted out and we are left with only twenty one, I don't know the reason for their failure.

Orochimaru-sama would be disappointed in me.

The thought makes me cringe slightly, but I quickly smooth out my expression and focus properly on the exam this time.

However the proctor only tells us to wait for the next proctor and leaves.

But no one else shows up, so eventually people start socialising instead, and my teammates are both pretty boring people anyway, so I decide to see if I can't to some recon while we wait.

Heading over to a group of three that I know to be Hanabira's team, I decide to see if I can figure out the mystery guy, Ibiki.

They all notice my approach almost immediately which is interesting, not a lot of Genin have that level of awareness after all, Orochimaru-sama made sure we didn't have this same shortcoming and it seems Hanabira is the same.

I smile as I approach, but all three of them just return with cold glares.

Jeez, aren't we from the same village? Why do you have to look so hostile?

It's not like I'm here to gather information about you so as to better face you in the tournament.

Oh wait..

"Heya! My name is Anko Mitarashi, the next proctor sure is taking their time huh?"

I feel my smile twitch slightly at the lacking response my greeting gets, like, seriously? Why are you just staring at me?

Do you not know how socialising works?

"Ahem, what are you guys' names?" It annoys me that I even have to ask, but Orochimaru-sama has stressed the importance of keeping a cool head.

Thankfully for my sanity, they actually respond this time, though against my expectations, it's the one who looks the worst that speaks up.

"Sorry about that, you just act a lot like our Sensei, and he usually prefers we stay silent so he can give our instructions. Anyway, my name is Hayate Gekko, this is Ibiki Morino and Tokara, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Hayate give a tired smile that is clearly forced, but not in a mean, condescending way, more like he forgot how to smile and his doing his best out of politeness.

What a weird guy, he looks like he hasn't been to sleep, like, ever. The other two are hardly better either now that I think about it.

They all have this dead look to their eyes, Tokara looks like he's convinced someone is going to jump out from behind him and Ibiki looks like he expects the rooms walls to fall apart and reveal we are actually in Iwa or something.

What a bunch or weirdos.

"Cool, do you guys know what the next test is?" I ask innocently.

Orochimaru-sama says that since Ninja will always expect you do have an ulterior motive of some kind, so if you are fishing for information then it's best to give them something to focus on defending, so that they are less guarded about what you actually want to know.

As expected, their eyes squint slightly at my question, but I already know the next test, so it doesn't matter what they say about it.

Hayate answers again, I guess he is their spokesperson or something.

"I can't say we do, though, we might be willing to trade for the information, should you acquire it?" He clearly forgets to keep smiling as his suspicious words sound out, but he remembers after a moment and goes back to his frankly exhausted looking smile.

Honestly, it almost makes me pity him, which makes me suspicious of whether or not it's an act.

"Well, I do know the next test, I just wanted to know if you guys knew it too." I say with a sly smile, then, before Hayate speaks again, I lean close and put a hand over my mouth so no one reads my lips.

"The next test is a treasure hunt in the forest of death." I whisper conspiratorially.

Orochimaru-sama says to never give out vital information uselessly, but this isn't just giving it out, it's all part of a big plan.

Boy, am I smart or what?

Again, before they respond, because keeping people off balance is good for acquiring information, I speak again, not whispering this time.

"Do you guys think you will be okay the forest? I've been there before and it is super dangerous, with chakra beasts and everything!"

Here it is, the culmination of my amazing plan of getting them to talk about themselves and their abilities, what boy wouldn't want to brag to a cute girl like me after all.

Heh, truly my genius knows no bounds, no wonder I'm Orochimaru-sama favourite student.

But, right as Hayate is opening his mouth to answer, someone else speaks up for the first time.

"It was nice meeting you Mitarashi-san, but you won't be manipulating any information out of us I'm afraid." Comes the voice of the mysterious Ibiki, his eyes locked onto mine.

Crap. How did he know?

I give him a slightly strained smile and quickly deny.

"I'm not trying to manipulate anyone! I was just having a conversation!"

Ibiki regards me like a particularly stupid child, which really annoys me, and speaks slowly and thoughtfully, like he's measuring his own words.

"I suppose, if you were manipulating us, then you would be trying to trick us into giving out vital information."

"Exactly! I was just asking a question."

"Indeed, it must be my mistake then, you would have started with what you wanted to know if you weren't manipulating us."

"Exactly!"

Wait what? Wait a minute-

"Considering you already knew the answer to the question you first asked us, then you admit you were tying to manipulate us?" He says with a smirk as he leans back in his chair.

But I'm just confused.

What the hell just happened?

Did he just.. make me admit to manipulating them?

I feel my face flush in anger and embarrassment and I don't want to look at his stupid face anymore so I turn around and head back to my seat.

No, I do not 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘱 away, nor do I 𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘬 when I get to my chair.

What a stupid, know it all, smug, dummy!

It's then that the next proctor finally arrives, saving me from my embarrassment.

I hope Orochimaru-sama didn't see that.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I like putting electric boogaloo in my titles, it always cracks me up a little and I don't know why

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