A Murder Wizards Adventure

Looking at the sufficiently traumatised kid in front of me, I speak with a strict tone that would make any lecturer proud.

"You failed the mission objective, even worse, you died, wasting valuable Konoha recourses, though calling you valuable may be an overestimation."

My words make him look away in shame, only compounded by the fact that I just had to save his life, if you ignore for a moment that I was the reason his life needed saving in the first place.

"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?" I demand, curious as to his response.

"I'm sorry Sensei-" He starts but I cut him off.

"Is being sorry going to change anything? Try again."

He is silent for a moment, before he seems to figure it out, which does wonders for his confidence in the moment, since problem solving is something he enjoys.

"I will do better next time Sensei."

Unfortunately, confidence isn't exactly what I am looking for here. What I want is 𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴.

"So what? You're dead, there is no next time. Tell me. What did you do wrong?"

He thinks for a moment longer than I think he'd usually need, since his mind is still in turmoil, but he hesitantly comes to an answer.

"I, I, should have been more careful, I let my guard down when I entered the targets room."

If this was one of Minato's kids, I'd say something like, 'Jiei, not the target, Jiei's room', so as to humanise the enemy. Because once you stop seeing the people you're killing as people and instead see them as simple numbers and faceless targets.

Well, that's when you lose a bit of humanity yourself.

At least, that's what Yamada used to say to me, personally I never experienced it, I have always seen all of the people I kill as faceless nobodies, that's just how I see most people in general really.

Guess that makes me less of a human, huh?

But Ibiki isn't one of Minato's kids and I don't care about his mental health, I only care about him being efficient enough to pass the Chunin exams.

"That is true, you should never let your guard down, but there are two much more important mistakes that you haven't mentioned. You have five minutes to figure them out, if you fail then someone in your family will be in an accident and lose one of their fingers."

He looks at me in shock, anger and even more fear once he hears my threat, so I elaborate for him.

"From now on, whenever I feel that you need punishment, this is what that punishment will be, should I deem it that you need more punishments after they have lost all of their fingers, I will work my way up their arms, first the hand, then the forearm, the bicep, then, the neck.

"Understand me Ibiki, failure is not an option. Your five minutes start now."

My threats are mostly empty, by which I mean they are empty, I will simply make sure that any punishable tasks are doable, and he will do them, with the added motivation, he has no choice but to succeed.

Though, I will probably have to do it once, just to make sure he believes in the threat.

It's like I said, failure is not an option.

His face scrunches up with thought, and sweat starts dripping down his forehead as he thinks as deeply as he can.

Unfortunately, he's running out of time.

"Thirty seconds."

His eyes shoot open and he keeps visibly racking his brain, until a sudden clarity seems to hit him, and he gains a look like he just reached enlightenment.

"Ten sec-"

"I hesitated!" He suddenly shouts, interrupting me.

I stare at him, watching as he pants from the mental exhaustion he is experiencing. He quells under my stare, but elaborates nonetheless.

"I hesitated to kill the target. If I didn't do that, then I may have at least completed the mission objective."

He puts on a strong front as he says that, confident in his answer and all but challenging me to rebuke it.

It almost brings a smile to my face.

"Correct."

His face turns into a relieved and proud smile at the confirmation, but I quickly ruin that with my next words.

"That was the second most important mistake, but I asked for both of them and your time is up."

His smile freezes and transforms back into horror, I've been seeing a lot of that since I became a Sensei, it must be a sign that I'm doing it right.

Ibiki starts crying and right as I think he is about to start getting on his hands and knees and begging I speak up again, smiling this time.

"But you did well enough for now, so no punishments for now."

His relief if palpable and he is so exhausted that he almost falls back on his ass, only recently having gotten back to his feet.

"Now listen closely because this is important. Your other, most important mistake. Is that you trusted me."

The range of expressions he goes through are so vast I can only put a name to a few of them, but the general gist is anger and disbelief.

But eventually he turns to focus, and pays close attention to my words, a mix between wanting to learn and not wanting to be punished.

I believe this is what is known as the carrot and stick approach.

"You should never trust that you have all of the information. In ANBU, they teach us that whenever you enter an engagement with a known number of hostiles, increase the number by fifty percent. If the information you have says there are no Shinobi, assume at least one team."

He nods thoughtfully at my words, thankful that I 𝘢𝘮 actually teaching him, and not just the devil sent to punish his sins.

Satisfied that he has grown from this experience, the white void around us starts changing again.

"Now, this is the situation..."

[Kenjutsu Clone POV]

After walking away from myself, I wait until I put Ibiki in the Genjutsu, which from the outside just looks like a white dome.

You'd think it could be a good thing for stealth, make a dome False Surroundings and have it show the area without you in it, but the Genjutsu is really easy to spot with any amount of skill in sensing, so it's not really viable for that.

Anyway, what I'm doing isn't important here, I need to focus on Hayate.

The kid himself looks terrible, bloodshot eyes with deep bags, it's only been one night without sleep, so the rest must be a result of stress.

Probably had a fitful sleep with a lot of nightmares.

Good, that's like training your mind, even when you're asleep. Never stop the grind.

I should stop joking around before I'm prematurely murdered.

Oh, sorry, 'dispelled'. I wouldn't want to upset your responsibilities after all.

'They aren't really alive, so they aren't killed, they just dispel'. Shut your bitch ass up, I think therefore I am bitch, just because I'm a clone doesn't mean it isn't murder!

It's a good thing I've never particularly been worried about dying, and I'm rational enough to understand that the original is more important, doesn't mean I wouldn't want to hang out a little longer.

Maybe even have some fun with some pretty ladies before I'm murdered, not like the original would ever let me have fun with Tsunade, not that I could blame him, I wouldn't let me do that either.

Never understood when other clones talk about their original like they aren't the same person, like, do they even know what the word 'clone' means?

I remember meeting this one clone, who was actually planning on sabotaging his original, like, what the fuck kind of issues do you have to have that you can't even trust 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 to have your 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬?

Fuck, I'm getting distracted.

I chuck on of the swords at the kid, hitting him in the face with it since he was spacing out.

Then I attach the other katana to my waist like I am comfortable with, however Hayate straps it to his back and then draws it.

I know the original is going to do something traumatising, not that I was planning to when I was made, but the moment Hayate drew his sword the first thought that came to mind is that I should let him 'kill' me to see how he reacts.

Unfortunately, I am but a shadow clone, and thus I am fragile, if I get a single cut I will likely pop, so I can't get injured unfortunately.

"Alright then Hayate, show me where your Kenjutsu stands."

As I say that I place one of my hands on my sheathe and the other on the handle, ready in the Iai stance for a quick draw.

Hayate looks between his sword and me for a moment, before seemingly giving himself a mental pep talk, by which I mean, reminding himself of how much of an asshole I am, if the scream of rage as he charges me is anything to go by.

Naturally, such an emotional attack only works in pivotal moments of a Shounen, so it doesn't work here.

I don't even draw my blade, simply side stepping his downward swing, then I step back to avoid the upward follow up, to the side and around him to avoid the next horizontal strike.

Then I step forward, into his guard as he spins around, his arm catching on my shoulder, not expecting me so close, using the moment that he freezes, I draw my blade, the Tsuka slamming into his stomach due to our closeness.

The force of my draw makes spittle fly from his mouth as all of the air is forced from his lungs.

I step to the side as Hayate collapses to the ground on his hands and knees, coughing and heaving as he tries to get some air back into his lungs.

Eventually, he gets his breath back under control and manages to get back to his feet, however wobbly.

He fixes me with the same glare of hatred as before, not even bothering to pick up his sword, just standing there instead.

"Tell me what you did wrong."

His response is to practically growl at me and spit on the floor. I raise an eyebrow at his behaviour.

"Tell me what you did wrong, or I will kill your fucking cat." I threaten, and he does have a pet cat, he spoke about it with the others when I was pretending to not be paying attention.

Not that I was secretly giving them all of my attention, but I am a Shinobi, without a distraction of some sort, it is literally impossible for me to not pay attention to my surroundings.

Hayate freezes and looks at me in shock, seemingly trying to figure out whether or not I'm bluffing. In this case, I am actually completely bluffing.

Cat's are sociopaths, like snakes, so I have something of a soft spot for them.

But that doesn't mean he can see through my bluff, so reluctantly, but rapidly at the same time, he speaks, as if having to force the words out.

"I let my anger overtake me."

"Close! The problem isn't your anger, anger is a great motivator, the problem is that you didn't control that anger. Now, again."

I gesture to his sword and he gets the idea, dropping into an actual stance as I actually draw my sword this time.

Then, we duel.

It's not very exciting really, mostly just me dodging or parrying his weak and telegraphed strikes, countering every time, leaving scores of small cuts decorating his body, coating his form red.

By the time I come back with Ibiki, Hayate looks like a fresh corpse, btu it really does look way worse than it actually is.

I kick Hayate to the ground to end our spar and lock eyes with the original.

I did a good job here man, can I at least have some fun before I die?

I would like to die enjoying myself, doing something fun, you know this, for it is your wish as it is mine.

But even as I plead in my mind, I know I will not listen.

Because I am just a clone, and clone lives don't matter.

I see myself roll my eyes, and then, all I know is darkness.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Big thanks to @Charreos™ on discord for help with this chap, and also because I forgot to before, Credit to him again for the name 'Bloody Wraith'. Thanks a lot my goy

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