A Murder Wizards Adventure

"Moving on, I still want that full rundown." Tsunade says, bringing the focus of the room back to the task at hand, even if some people present seem to disagree with my presence here, no one is going to comment about it anymore.

"Ahem, right, well, we have two thousand two hundred men and women at our disposal, most of our forces are concentrated here, where the distance between our borders and the nearest landmass large enough to hold an army is smallest."

The one who speaks up is a companiable looking man with platinum blond hair and kind blue eyes. I assume he's a Yamanaka, because I seem to be the only civilian born in the tent, another point to nepotism I guess.

He then goes on to explain our troops' positions, general firepower, resources and tactical information, including the land itself and the defences built thereupon.

He then explains what our spies, informants and information gatherers have been able to gather about the enemy. It seems that I was about right in regards to their numbers and I also find out that we came just in time.

As it seems that they are planning a full scale assault some time from as soon as tomorrow to a few days from now. We are also informed of all the kekkei genkai's we may face, and there's a lot of them.

From the ice of the Yuki to Boil, Lava and even mud release not to mention the Hoshigaki, Hozuki and Funato clans and their command over the sea.

There are even reports that they've somehow managed to rope in the Kaguya clan somehow, so we will probably also have to deal with a few users of the Dead Bone Pulse, though honestly they will probably be a hindrance as much as a help to Kiri, what with their general reputation I don't doubt they will be fighting everyone when the battle begins.

After a few more hours discussing things, everyone eventually leaves to get some rest. Me and Tsunade don't suddenly rearrange everything with some genius plan, since they have been here for a while and are good at there jobs there isn't really any improvements to be made.

Though I did encourage the idea of sparking infighting with Genjutsu, due to the fact that their clans aren't the most united.

As everyone is leaving though, I make sure to leave behind Tsume and signal to her for a quick chat, to catch up.

"What's up Hana? I didn't think you'd be wanting to talk to me?" She says with her arms crossed and a contemplative frown on her lips.

Tsume has a wild look to her with her long, spiky and untamed brown hair her vertical slit-like pupils and elongated canine teeth and nails. She also has her clan's red fang markings on her cheeks as well as markings over her eyes and a dark shade of purple lipstick.

I am slightly confused as to why she would think I would want to avoid her, and I make sure to voice that confusion.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I want to talk to you? We've already covered that I am willing to ignore your disgusting animalistic attitude, no matter how much you act like a feral animal, you are still a friend, not to mention Jun's unfortunate wife."

I try to keep my voice comfortingly friendly but she still winces at my words as if she was struck.

I don't know exactly what's going on but by the fact that Tsume of all people is avoiding meeting my eyes, I can only assume that it's something serious.

Tentatively, she starts speaking, a slight grimace on her face belaying hidden pain.

"You, you don't know? No ones told you?"

"Told me what, Tsume." My voice is strained with annoyance that she won't just get to the point already.

"It's Jun, he, he's dead."

What.

As if hearing my thoughts Tsume keeps talking.

"I don't know all the details, ANBU secrecy and all, but it was a few months ago, around the start of the war, his squad was ambushed, not far from here actually. Him and Tatsuya, they didn't make it. Jack got lucky though, he survived enough that we know it was Kiri-nin that killed them. That's why I'm here you know? We may not have been in love but he was the father of my daughter. I-. I just want to kill them."

I don't react for a moment, even as Tsunade, who had been listening in, places a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I don't judge her for wanting to kill them, she want's revenge and she is straight forward enough a person to be able to admit that. I respect the honesty.

At least it was only the assholes and not Shiori or something, I think bitterly.

I unclench my fists long enough to put a hand on Tsume's shoulder. I look her in the eyes and we share a humourless smile that holds nothing but the promise of violence.

"It's a good thing then, that they outnumber us so."

"Heh, no need to compete for kills eh?" She responds with a savage smile.

I just grin and give her a nod before walking past her, only to realise that I have no idea where I'm going and subsequently looking to Tsunade for direction.

She gives me a sad, wry smile before leading the way to our tents. Normally this would be where I'd make some joke about sharing a bed or something, but I just don't really feel like it, instead I just head to my tent and get ready for a good nights sleep.

I want to be well rested for the morrow after all.

I don't see the way Tsunade looks worriedly at me as I walk through the tent flap, nor do I notice the way my hands clench.

...

The morning comes and with it a lot of briefings and meetings with various captains and such, confirming positioning and other miscellaneous stuff.

I spent most of that time sitting in the back of the tent, trying my best to look like a cool anime character or something, just sitting there with one leg up on the table as I idly do card tricks with my hands.

Despite that though, I'm not really paying attention to the cards. Instead my mind is constantly cataloguing and absorbing the information being provided by everyone who enters the tent, building a mental map of our forces.

It seems that the Genin corps are being used as canon fodder, not surprising really, career Genin aren't really worth anything to any of the major villages. A Genin is barely more valuable than a bandit in a battle like this.

After the Genin corps take the opening salvo of Jutsu our formations seem to favour the Chunin next and the Jonin after that, so that they can take care of a distracted enemy no doubt. The actual Genins, that is to say, the children, they will be at the back behind the Jonin and their job will be to help out any struggling Chunin.

In a movie this would be around when I speak up and suddenly point out a glaring flaw in our strategy that somehow no one noticed until now.

This isn't a movie. There is nothing to add, the plan is as perfect as could be all things considered, the only thing there is to do now is wait. But you know what they say right? No plan survives first contact with the enemy.

So, naturally everything goes to shit before it even begins.

The commanders and Tsunade and I were all in the command tent, listening to another pair of captains' report, when suddenly a Jonin bursts through the tent flap, panting and looking like the fear of god has been put in him.

"Tsunade-sama! T-the sea!"

He's panting and panicking too much to get anything else out but he said enough, sharing a quick glance, we all rush outside of the tent and are beholden to a scene straight out of the Old Testament.

The only problem is that we don't have an arc.

In front of us is a massive tidal wave, no, it would be more accurate to say it's a tsunami. It seems to stand as tall as any building I've ever seen, maybe even taller, you'd have to strain your neck to see its top were you to stand at it's base.

Idly, I think to myself, it's a good thing we kept away from the shoreline.

I'd say we have less than a minute before it reaches us at the pace it's going, so I don't waste time and use a small earth Jutsu to make a pole for me to stand on, so I can get a better view of the camp.

Then as everyone is freaking out, my voice resounds throughout the camp, thanks to an application of chakra, everyone hears me.

"EVERYONE WHO CAN USE EARTH JUTSU, WORK TOGETHER AND GET THIS CAMP IN THE AIR!"

Suddenly being shouted at is always a good way to get soldiers back into action. So long as they have an order to follow, they don't need to think about anything, even if that thing is their possibly impending doom.

The next minute is a perfect example of what humanity is capable of when we work together.

On one side a group of humans making a tidal wave that could drown cities and on our side, the collective efforts of a couple of thousands of terrified Shinobi almost seem to spontaneously spawn a mountain.

Our camp falls to pieces, the walls being little more than debris, but we rise.

It's uneven and ununiform, but we rise and we don't stop rising until we stand on an uneven platform nearly a hundred feet in the air.

Not a moment later, the wave slams into our platform, the top of the gigantic wave still managing to wash over our feet.

The moment passes and I think everything is going to be fine, but then the ground shakes.

Shit.

Slowly, like in an elevator, we feel as the very earth we stand on begins to break apart and fall to the ground.

Looking down I amend that thought. The ground isn't there anymore, instead where our cam was now stands a flooded wetlands.

Great, we kept away from the sea, so they brought the sea to us, how quaint.

The fall isn't that long, so by the time our hastily erected platform is buried under the water, most of our army is alive and well enough. The only problem is that our formation took some damage and that we are now fighting on open water.

Fuck.

This isn't going to go well for us.

I quickly locate Tsunade and rush to her side, I want to be by the mountain crusher, sue me.

Order is restored quickly enough, and we are back in formation, if only without any of the defences we had before.

Shit. I just realised, but we had the beach covered in buried explosive tags. Safe to say that plan is fucked now.

The commanders all make there way to Tsunade and I, since we are the highest ranking officers right now, even if they are more here for Tsunade than me.

But Tsunade is a medic, not a commander, and I have an idea so I speak up, even if they don't like it, they have to listen to me, worst comes to worst, Tsunade will back me up. Probably.

"We need to poison the water." I say calmly, but not everyone shares my calm as shouts immediately break out.

People calling me a madman and such, but after everyone has shouted a bit, Shikagi speaks up.

"Are you mad! You want to poison the battlefield that we fight on!?" I said he speaks up but it's more accurate to say he gets in my face and shouts at me.

I calmly wipe the spittle from my face and speak with an even tone.

"Our enemy favours the sea, any man who get's dragged beneath it's depths is already dead, unless you think our chunin can fight a Hozuki, or a Hoshigaki under the water? No, anyone who falls under is dead, the only people alive down there will be enemies, so we poison them."

I can see that some of them understand the necessity, even if they don't like it, but I also see how some aren't convinced and will likely still argue, but we don't have the time for this, so I speak more forcefully. My face a severe mask.

"They wanted to fight in a favoured terrain and you will just let them? This is an order, by the authority vested in me by the Hokage himself. Understood, soldier?"

There is a tense silence, as Shikagi turns to look at Tsunade, but she says nothing, standing by my side in a show of support.

With a deep sigh, he accepts his defeat and we finally get to spreading the order through the troops.

Now there is only one rule for the coming battle that must be obeyed by everyone if they want to live.

Don't get wet.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

It took me like 2 hours to finish the last 300 words here cuz've discord distracting me.

Also, Advance chapters available with the link below! It's basically pat:reon. My upload schedule wont be changing.

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works

Feels a little late since the fic is like, mostly done anyway. kinda. ok not really, I'd say I'm about 2/3 of the way done. ish

https://discord.gg/Pj3Dttwses