A Murder Wizards Adventure

After I got back the first thing I did was head to Takeshi and inform him of my return, he then told me that we will have a meeting the next day and that I need to attend it.

So naturally I was late. It's totally not my fault though, I've been training in isolation for nearly five years! I was pent up and there are plenty of very attractive women in Konoha, then I had to grab a Fuinjutsu book I left in my old cave and bumped into Yoshino.

Then I proceeded to bump into her a few more times, for posterities sake.

Anyway, the meeting wasn't much, just relocation orders really, I'm to be fighting Kiri with Tsunade as a counter to their Jinchurriki, a prospect that would have made me think my bosses are all retards, but now I'm a Sage I have what I feel is a rather deserved confidence boost.

Now, however, I am waiting at Konoha's front gate with Tsunade, who is standing a few steps away from me and tapping her foot impatiently.

"Remind me again, why are we not going to Kiri as ordered?"

I roll my eyes at her accusing tone, it's like she can't decide whether to treat me as a friend or a hated enemy and has settled for some passive aggressive middle ground.

"Because Tsunade, I have been all by myself for nearly five years and I have some things I want to say now while I can."

That get's her to quieten down as she probably draws parallels between what I said and all the people she's lost, and how she wished she could have had proper last words. Not that that is something unique to her, every ninja would feel the same.

We've all lost someone.

The depressing atmosphere is lifted when Minato and Kushina drop down in front of us, Kushina surprises me by being the first to act by grabbing me in a big bear hug and bringing me with with her as she spins in a circle.

I'm the taller one here, do you know how stupid it looks to be spun around by someone shorter than you? Tsunade's snort tells me she agrees on the humour of the fact at least.

Why is it that of the four of us here, the two women are the physically strongest?

Do they just want to spit in the face of the accepted differences between men and women?

"It's good to see you too Kushina, but would you please put me down now? I wouldn't want Minato to get the wrong idea."

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say as the next instant I am airborne and the instant after that I feel my back crack against a tree trunk.

As I fall to the ground I only think one word.

Ow.

Meanwhile, Kushina is now hugging the life out of Minato saying how she loves him the most, while he tries and fails to explain to her that he understands and wasn't going to get the wrong idea.

Nice to see that their relationship has progressed well I guess.

Tsunade however has walked up to my prone form and started poking me with her foot as if she's a kid checking if I'm dead or not.

"So, how's this reunion of yours working out?" She says with barely hidden mirth.

Groaning theatrically in only slightly exaggerated pain I turn so my head is on its side and I can peer up to her with one eye.

"Eh, could be worse."

At her raised eyebrow I just nod my head towards the couple and Tsunade turns to see Kushina still apologising profusely while Minato struggles to tell her how he still needs to breathe.

I get back to my feet as Tsunade snots quietly before she goes back to waiting in the background.

"Hey Kushina! I think Minato gets it, maybe you should give him some air now?" I call out, making Kushina realise what she was doing and letting him go, much to his visible relief.

Now that he is finally able to breathe again Minato walks up to me to give a proper greeting, that is to say, he offers up his fist, to which I bump it with my own.

"It's great to see you again man, we've been trying to get in contact with you for a while now, if we'd known you were out becoming a Sage we could have saved the effort!"

In response to Minato's cheer I give him a smile of my own that I find is actually genuine, I'm not sure when I came to consider him an actual friend, maybe my meditation put things into perspective for me, but his enthusiasm is infectious.

"What can I say, I heard you became a Sage yourself and I couldn't let you get it in your head that you're the best or anything, someone has to keep your ego in check after all."

It's a hypocritical thing to say as someone with a massive ego, but it is true that we are both equally egotistical, is it really a surprise though? No one our own age has ever been able to match us, hell even in the older generations only the best can match us now.

Our ego is well earned, the only difference is that Minato's ego makes him hold back, thinking that he doesn't need to use his everything when minimal effort will do and that kind of mindset will get him killed one of these days.

Thankfully, the little genius that he is, he manages to hear the genuine warning behind my joking words and I can see that he's taken it seriously, even as he doesn't outwardly react to it.

"Like you're one to talk about ego, how someone can lose so many spars and still claim to be the better ninja is a mystery." He counters with aa smirk on his face.

"Hey! I resent that! I 𝘢𝘮 the better ninja, you are just a stupid murder wizard, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 a ninja. Anyway, this isn't what I waited up for you for, I just wanted to catch up quickly, see what's up with you guys, I can see at least that your relationship is going well enough."

My statement makes the young couple blush happily and gaze fondly towards each other in a manner that really just goes to show how they were literally made for each other.

But Kushina responds nonetheless.

"Well, not much interesting has been going on with me, but 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰 here, has something he might want to share." She says with a teasing smile directed at Minato who ducks his head ah she nudges him playfully with her elbows a few times.

Minato does not disappoint as he puts on a sheepish smile and scratches the back of his head.

"I want to become the Hokage, Jiraiya-sensei says he thinks I have a chance at it."

Huh, well that's interesting. Obviously I already know he becomes Hokage, but now that I actually know him, well, I think he deserves it, he is certainly strong enough and he is kind enough to be a good dictator.

"Yeah? Well, I think he's right, you'd make a pretty good Hokage, and I'm not just saying that because I fully plan to levy our personal connection to my own benefit."

He laughs but I'm not joking. Nepotism for the win.

Still, we do have to go, so I step forward and wrap Minato in a manly hug and speak quietly enough that the other two can't hear us even as ninja.

"That coat would look great on you, but I think you should focus on rings before you aim for the hat."

Saying so I pat his back and lean away a little so that I can indicate to Kushina with my eyes, thankfully even if he is dense he isn't stupid when something is being pointed out, so he catches on quickly and gives me a wry smile.

"Well, we best get going now, job to do and all that, see you two lovebirds later yeah?"

With that I turn back to Tsunade and we finally start actually heading eastwards, to Kiri.

The silence of the trip is broken by Tsunade.

"I didn't think you of all people would be friends with those two." She says conversationally and I'm not sure if it's supposed to be an insult or not. I decide to be on the safe side and assume she's insulting me.

"What's that supposed to mean, 'you of all people'?"

She rolls her eyes at my faux offended tone but answers dutifully.

"What was it you said? You prefer to avoid people who are loud and brash, Kushina fits both of those categories even more than I did."

Hmm, that's true, also now that she mentions it, she really has mellowed out since we first met, nice to know people can mature even if it takes as long as to be in later stages of their life to do so.

"Oi, you just thought something rude didn't you?"

I completely ignore that woman's intuition moment and reply to her earlier question.

"I'm more Minato's friend to be honest, but Kushina is fine most of the time, she only gets loud and brash when someone embarrasses or annoys her, but with Minato around he usually ends up receiving the brunt of that, so I don't mind, though you seem a lot less annoying than you used to be."

"You need to work on your compliments." Comes her dry response which makes me chuckle lightly.

"I'll have you know, I am the best at giving compliments." I brag, and like clockwork she falls for the bait.

"𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, I find that hard to believe." She snorts in return.

Hook, line and sinker, baby.

"Yeah? Then how about I prove it to you when we get back to the village, we could make a day of it."

It takes her a moment to consider my casual reply before she realises and quickly turns to face me, not needing to look forward as we hop through the trees.

"Did you just ask me on a 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦? Really?" She says, incredulous.

I just laugh lightly and turn to face her as well with a cheeky grin on my lips.

"Well, I don't see why not, we've already visited the end of this road, might as well see the start."

She gets as angry as I expected her to do at me bringing up that time we drunkenly hooked up, but against my expectations, she didn't blow up, instead, actually considering the idea.

"Is this just some joke, or game to you? Or do you actually mean that?"

Uh, what? What is happening here? Obviously it was a joke, but I can't say that 𝘯𝘰𝘸, not when such an interesting plot development is happening.

"What makes you say that? I'm hurt that you would think so lowly of me." I say in a tone that makes it obvious that I am not actually upset.

She just rolls her eyes and responds with surprising solemnity.

"I don't think you are half as subtle as you think you are, there are rumours about you, 'the pink haired playboy', they say. You were in a relationship with the new Lady Nara until you broke up and she married the then Heir, now Lord Nara, after which you were with a new girl every other day. There are plenty of stories about women being seduced by the pink haired playboy, so I know what you're like."

Damn, I knew there were rumours about me, it would be hard for there not to be with the amount I've slept around, but I didn't think there were so many. I probably shouldn't be surprised though.

Still, how to respond, I suppose honesty is the best course of action here. Well, selective honesty.

"What can I say? I am incredibly virile, but just because I like to have a lot of sex doesn't mean I'm incapable of commitment, I was with Yoshino for quite a while after all, and we both know you can keep up with me."

I end my sentence with a wink that disappointingly garners no response whatsoever as she continues to study me intently.

After a moment she looks away, focusing forward once again.

"If you're serious about it, then sure, when we get back we can go on a date, but don't expect me to put out, and if I hear so much as a peep about you sleeping around then I will not give you a second chance, you lost your first chance merely by reputation."

Huh, I did not expect sudden romance, but I won't complain. It's not very often that a woman can actually keep up with me, hence my proclivity to Kunoichi and threesomes, but Tsunade is both capable of that and stunningly sexy, so I would have no problem being with just her.

Hmm, this is interesting enough that I kind of want to see how it plays out. I mean, I've done the whole playboy thing and while it is definitely fun, I want to try out something new. Worst comes, we break up and I go back to being a playboy.

It's not like I lose anything by trying.

Fuck it, I have decided. I will pursue a relationship with Tsunade, at least for awhile.

Resolution made I start making plans for our date, an exciting, interesting date is the way to a woman's heart, just give them a day they will never forget.

Oooh and I just realised how to make it incredibly enjoyable for the both of us with one secret ingredient.

I smile to myself as the thought slots into my head.

Gambling.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Fyi, I don't have plot planned out for me, I just write whatever comes to mind as I'm writing and then post it without editing anything. The thing with Tsunade came out of nowhere to me and I want to thank @THOTSLAYER for helping me decide how to go about it on the discord below because I was conflicted about what direction to take it.

Oh and by the way I no longer have an insta so ignore the previous links lmao, imagine getting hacked less than a week after making an account

Also I have been convinced and so I will now be posting all of my chapters as I write them on my Ko-fi for anyone who donates to see. This won't change my upload schedule for those of you who are like me and can't afford it, anyone who donates will only get 2 or 3 chapters ahead of everyone else most of the time.

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works

https://discord.gg/Pj3Dttwses