A Murder Wizards Adventure

As I head towards Nobushi's office I hear the sound of the castles front gate being exploded.

A decoy, obviously, since everyone who is a part of this assault is a ninja and thus there isn't really a need to break open the front door, not when they can just climb over the wall with complete ease.

Anyway, I ignore the signal and keep walking. A servant scurries past me in a panic but loses his head on the way, I just keep walking.

Eventually I do make it to his office only to find it abandoned, which is fine with me. I start rummaging through the place, throwing anything unimportant to the floor and putting everything else into my tattoos.

It doesn't take me long to find what I'm looking for, which is the incriminating documents that I need to bring back for my mission. I also don't find any money in here, don't know why I felt I should inform you of that, but I definitely did not find 150k Ryo cash in the room. Not at all.

Anyway, before I can leave the office I have to dodge to the side to avoid the kunai that flies past where my head was a moment ago. Before anything else can happen I call out.

"Taiwan number one!"

Which gets the Konoha-nin to stop attacking me. That's right, I was allowed to choose some of the code words, and since 'Konoha number one' would be a bit too on the head, I went with this, not that anyone else understands what I mean.

When I first gave the code everyone was like, 'who the fuck is Taiwan?'.

But that just made me laugh so they didn't get an answer.

With my identity confirmed the Konoha ANBU who I don't recognise nods his head and surveys the room.

"you got everything?"

He asks of me and I respond in kind.

"Yup, though there wasn't any Ryo in here when I searched." I kindly inform him.

"ok?" He responds, clearly grateful for the information.

Heh, even through the ANBU mask monotone I can hear his dubious confusion before he shakes his head lightly and gives me a simple nod before departing.

No words needed, everyone has already been briefed, even if there has likely been changes of plan that I have been unable to hear, the base of things stay the same.

Now I only have one thing left to do, typically this is where I say something along the lines of 'tying up loose ends', but honestly I am like a typical villain, in that I would definitely let the hero go so that he can have a training montage and come back with the power of friendship, purely for the extended entertainment.

But orders are orders and I shouldn't disobey them too much, otherwise someone might find out and then I would get my pay cut or something, or tortured, depending on the order I guess.

So I head out, giving Mantis a passing greeting as he stands over the corpses of three Samurai and head into the forest that lies behind Nobushi's castle.

It only takes a few moments of running before I come across a trail of bloody footprints. Hah! I just realised, but this is like Minato and Kushina's romance story but the reverse horror version.

Anyway, I follow the 'red steps of fate' and eventually I come across a fleeing duo.

There you are.

They are both getting up from the floor, likely having just tripped, Suki has snot and tears all over her face and is generally pathetic looking but Suzu has a look of such focus that I find incredibly attractive.

I cut my way through the ferns and low hanging branches only to stop my approach at the suspicious glare Suzu sends my way, but it just makes me smile even wider.

So you noticed that quickly that something was amiss huh? Impressive.

"Hana, is that really you?" Suzu asks, with her eyes narrowed in such suspicion that I can't help but feel a little bit of pride in her, she is perceptive enough to know something is different about me, but not so fast to jump to conclusions as to assume I am either someone else in disguise or actually a traitor.

It impresses me enough that I decide to give a truly honest answer.

"Of course it's me Suzu, who else could look so dashing with my luscious pink locks?"

Honest as in I won't pretend to be someone else, I never said anything about taking the situation seriously.

"I see," she says, "Is Hana even your real name?"

The sheer hatred her voice contains honestly turns me on a little, but now isn't the time for that, instead, it is the time for honesty.

"Of course it is, well, technically it is only half of my name, I couldn't be bothered to come up with a whole new one, y'know?"

It's all true, but she seems to be even more mad now, I guess honesty isn't the best policy? Women huh, so confusing. That's a joke by the way, in case it wasn't obvious but women aren't all that confusing.

"So, you are a traitor then? Did I mean nothing to you? Was our relationship just another part of the mission!?"

Suzu says, though it turns more into a shout at the end there, and really that is just a mean thing to say, of course It wasn't a part of the mission, it was a part of my fun. Besides, way to make everything about you, that's not an attractive trait y'know.

"That's not very nice to say, but I understand, truthfully, I enjoyed our time together very much, but I have my orders."

I respond while pretending not to be able to hear what Suzu is whispering to Suki. She knows I can hear her too, but Suki is too out of it to notice. I guess Suzu just wants a chance to be able to talk to me without Suki overhearing and this is easier than asking for a moment alone.

"I loved you, Hana, and if any part of you truly felt the same way, then spare me, spare 𝘶𝘴." She says as she leans on me, placing a hand on my chest and going to stoke my cheek with the other.

Only, once we both hear Suki leaving, she steps back as if burned and stares at me for a moment with hatred in her eyes, as well as sadness, loss, betrayal, fear and, is that.. hope?

"I'm pregnant. Surprise. Will you still kill me, even knowing you will be killing your own unborn child?"

Huh.

That is one hell of a trump card to play, isn't it? And she said that with such a dead cold tone too.

I take a step closer to her and put a hand over her womb and push a miniscule amount of chakra inside of her to sense with and I can tell that, yes, she is pregnant.

Huh.

"So?"

My response takes her back and shocks her so much that she falls to the floor, but I'm to busy being lost in thought to pay attention to that.

On one hand, I could just do my job and kill her, I don't particularly care about the kid, all lives are equal, young, old or yet to be born, there is no magical feeling of fatherliness that erupts out of nowhere, telling me to be a better man.

I am who I am and that is not going to change. Still. Saying that, I have thought about having kids.

Idly I catch a knife as Suzu tries to stab me in the liver, but I keep most of my focus on continuing my thoughts.

Not because I want to be a dad, fuck no am I raising any kids, Kizashi was enough thank you. But I do think it would be pretty cool to have just a bunch of kids all over the world, even cooler if they actually make a name for themselves.

I could be like Genghis Khan, but without the conquering, because fuck that noise, I don't have the patience for it.

Also, it would be super funny to run into my kids every now and then while I'm traveling.

Just think of all the plot points it would open up!

Decision made, I raise my sword and stab Suzu in the arm, making her call out in pain and covering my blade with her blood.

"Get up, go and run, run far and hope no one else sees you because I won't save you from them. Good luck!"

I turn away, heading for Suki as Suzu hobbles away as fast as she can. I wonder if she will survive. If she does then does this mean I will have the 'Prodigal son hunts down father for abandoning his mother' plot?

I can't wait.

Suzu doesn't even stop to plead for Suki's life, despite loving her more than herself, probably understanding the irrationality behind the action, at least this way one of them might survive.

I pass through some more trees and swiftly some across Suki, sprawled out on the ground as she is, she didn't get very far. As she sees me she starts crawling backwards in a pointless attempt to get further away from me.

"Hello, Suki, fancy meeting you here, wonderful weather we're having, no?"

It's only polite to greet someone before you murder them after all.

"W-why?" She whimpers to me, looking like an abused stray puppy as she does so.

"Why indeed Suki. Why, why, why, that is the question, unfortunately I don't think you will like the answer."

Since she doesn't ask me to elaborates I do so anyway.

"It's just my job, nothing more, there is no grand reason, nothing like that, I'm simply doing my job."

It's the truth, I'm just doing my job that I love, nothing more. And so, without anything else to add, and with Suki unlikely to be holding any conversation right now, I drive my blade through her heart, ending her life once and for all.

Damn. I just realised but I got blood on my kimono, I will have to get it washed when I get back, it's a good thing I'm rich or I'd have to struggle getting rid of bloodstains all on my own. Thankfully though, Konoha's cleaners are understandably experienced at removing bloodstains, so it won't be an issue.

After that I head back to the castle, burning under the rising sun as it is makes for quite the sight. I unseal my polaroid camera and snap a quick picture or two, for the memory book.

Then I keep going, so I can meet up with the others at the rendezvous point.

Then we al head home, a merry bunch leaving nothing but a broken building and rotting and burning corpses in our wake. Granted it wasn't very subtle, but at least our supply lines can be protected now, and this will serve as something of a message.

Work against Konoha and face annihilation.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Fuck Kishimoto and his bullshit unexplained bullshit. I'm researching sage mode cuz I want to know how long it takes to learn, the following is everything I can find about how long it takes. ahem.

"It took Naruto a week to master sage mode. He was faster than Jiraiya."

Thats it. WTF! Naruto obv has plot bullshite so I can't use his time as a base mark, how long did it take Jiraya? Longer than a week I guess. I'm going to make it a 5-10 years kind of deal to master it. Seems around right.

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works

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