A Murder Wizards Adventure

It was only two months later that Mito died.

The funeral was a truly impressive display as it seemed that the entire village gathered for the procession. As one of her students, I was at the front of the procession with Kushina and Minato next to me, Minato trying to comfort Kushina while Yoshino is by my side, the both of us looking on mournfully as Mito's casket is lowered into the ground.

Really, I just want this whole farce to be over with, last week Swan said I will have my first seduction mission ready for me next session, which is the day after tomorrow, and that it will be something of a trial mission, to see if I'm ready for the real deal and I am excited.

Not only are missions like this fun, especially compared to the internal patrols my squad has been doing, basically spying on our own clans for the Hokage, gotta love politics huh? but missions like this are the whole reason I signed up in the first place, plus, it's literally a mission where I will probably be having sex. How could I say no to such a mission?

Speaking of sex, me and Yoshino are truly in a relationship now, honestly we've been like newlyweds with how often we are at it, which is great because it lets me put into practice everything that Kumiko has been teaching me.

And let me tell you, Kumiko is a monster in the sack, I have never even once been in control of that situation, she is just too good. But I am learning and learning well if Kumiko's compliments are anything to go by, Yoshino has been a great help in improving too, something she is very loudly appreciative of, not that she knows about Kumiko, or even really what I do in ANBU, since when she asked I just had to say it's a secret and since she lives in a ninja village as a part of a clan, she understood that I literally am not allowed to talk about it and didn't push.

Technically I can tell her, it's perfectly fine to tell people your ANBU identity, so long as you don't go overboard and only tell people you trust, but Yoshino is a Nara and she's smart so I don't know if she will come to the right conclusion should she hear I specialise in stealth, infiltration and as of recently, seduction.

Anyway, people eventually start to leave, it's getting late and they have their own lives to attend to. I of course, have to stay, to keep up the lie that I actually care, and Yoshino stays with me, despite not knowing Mito personally, as a show of support for her boyfriend who is grieving.

I'm actually a little bit miffed that our relationship will probably have to end soonish. There have been talks about Shikaku getting married and as the clan Heir he is supposed to marry someone inside of the clan. Unfortunately, the only person around his age that is female and Nara is Yoshino.

It's not like the old farts that call themselves 'Elders', as if living for so long without accomplishing anything is somehow impressive, will care about the fact that Yoshino is in a relationship, especially since I'm just a civilian born with no backing, since my wealth is mostly secret they don't even know about that.

I also don't think Yoshino has even realised it yet, and I do wonder how she will react when she does find out. In fact, I talked to Kumiko about this and she gave me a challenge, to test my manipulative abilities.

I am to somehow manage it that Yoshino and I do split up so she can marry Shikaku, but in a way that she is both not upset with Shikaku and also not upset with me. Basically I've got to keep her happy, even as we break up.

It is a lot harder to make someone happy than sad after all, so it is a challenge, one that I already have a plan for when she inevitably finds out about her Elders' plans.

Eventually enough time passes that I can reasonably leave without upsetting anyone's perception of me, though I have to do one last thing before then. Giving a look to Yoshino she gives me a small understanding smile and lets go to wait for me as I approach Minato and Kushina.

Pretending to hesitate for a moment, just for dramatic effect, I put my hand on Minato's shoulder, as he is currently hugging Kushina to his chest while she quietly sobs. Minato looks to me with a smile that is so easily fake and I just give him a hug, having to hug the both of them due to their positions.

I honestly expected Kushina to push me away or something, but instead she just leaned in on the both of us as Minato put his face on my shoulder so that Kushina wouldn't see his tears. I don't say anything as after a moment he lifts his head back up with a smile on his face, only slightly less fake.

I also don't mention his red eyes, instead I just hold the hug for a while longer before giving one final squeeze and letting go.

"Shino and I were planning on getting some sake and going to Teuchi's place tomorrow night, y'know, pour one out in her honour and all that. Well, feel free to come, if you want, you don't have to but the offer is open."

With those quiet parting words I turn around and head back to Yoshino where we go to my place together for a quiet dinner that she cooks for me, we have sex too, ostensibly to 'get my mind off of the grief' but really just because we've been having sex almost every day for over a month now and I don't want to stop today if I can help it.

The next day we went out to drank and eat at Teuchi's late into the night, Minato and Kushina both came, it was honestly kinda boring, just a lot of somber story telling and solemn silence, but was mostly ueventful and I admit at least part of my boredom came from the fact that Swan was giving me my first mission tomorrow and I was looking forward to it.

Then, the next day came and I was standing face to face with Swan first thing in the morning, well, after walking Yoshino to her place, since she slept over, to be honest, she basically lives in my flat as much as she does her own, not that I'm going to complain about the, ah, /enthusiastic/ mornings.

"Alright, here is your mission, low risk, low difficulty and it shouldn't take more than three months, though obviously, if you can do it faster without compromising the mission, then feel free, with my teachings and your own natural charm, I don't think you should have any difficulty finishing up by the end of the month."

I accept the scroll with my mission brief with trembling hands (metaphorically) and quickly unroll it to see what my mission is exactly.

My mission is to infiltrate some small time business on the edge of Hi no Kuni that is supposedly suspected of supporting foreign powers, so my job is to use the bosses daughter to get close to the boss and basically find out if these suspiciouns are true and if so to rob them blind and burn the business to the ground (metaphorically) there is more to it but that's just details, deatails.

All in all, I'm like the secret black ops agents that schitzophrenic people worry about. Maybe I should start stalking and messing with schitzophrenic people on my days off, just to fuck with them. Wait would that mean I have to fuck with myself? Nah, I'm just the mythical voices in the head type of schitzo, not the government and or aliens are spying on me type of schitzo.

Anyway, since this is a test Swan isn't going to help me out, I have to do this on my own more or less, so I head home to pack, not that I have to do much, since I pretty much always have everything I could ever need in my storage seal tattoos, though they do unfortunately have a storage limit, but it's a pretty big limit so I'm not too bothered by it.

I'm sure Swan will let my squad know that I'm out on a solo mission for a bit, so they will probably be in rotation until I get back, so the only person I need to see before I leave is Yoshino, though I make sure to say bye to Hound before I leave my flat. I know it's unhealthy. I know he's, that he's. I just- I know, okay?

But he was just so much like my brother in the Before. The only person I think I ever genuinley managed to care for. The fact that it was just him just made him even more important to me. I had no one else, everyone else were just cardboard in comparison. And then I come here and I meet Hound and he is just so much like him. Fucks sake, aren't I supposed to be a sociopath? The whole reason I celebrate that fact is so I don't have to deal with emotional bullshit like this.

Anyway, enough of that, I pack a backpack, because you gotta play the part, and I dress in casual clothes, black tight trousers that are basically black skinny jeans, a pale pink shirt with a black vest over the top, then my usual black long cardigan because it's just great, I put on a pair of black sleek boots and head for Yoshino's apartment, it's early enough she will probably still be there, not like I don't have the time to look, no reason to rush.

It's kind of like a holiday, this mission. I should probably take this more seriously but by now Takeshi knows that I'm practically incapable of actually taking something seriously. When I get to the right door I knock and look around, bouncing on my heels as I wait for someone to answer. This place needs a fresh coat of paint. Maybe they should hire some academy graduates? My thoughts are distracted by the sound of the door unlocking, and I am greeted by the face of Himiko, one of Yoshino's flatmates.

Himiko is a smoking hot blonde with a body to die for and she starts giving me bedroom eyes as soon as she recognises who is behind the door, then she shoots a quick glance into the apartment before stepping out and closing the door.

"Hey, Himiko, how you bee-"

I'm cut off by Himiko's lips pressing against mine as she marches us to the opposite wall, attacking my mouth like an animal in heat. When we finally disconect she looks up at me, breathless.

"Hey, Hana, what's up?"

Ok, I admit, I may have cheated on Yoshino a little bit. But she totally came on to me! And it was only the one time! The other times all don't count. And maybe I also spent a night with her other flatmate, but c'mon, she is also super hot. Yes, yes, I'm horrible, but I literally don't love Yoshino, and it's not like we're married anyway.

"Just here to see Shino, gonna be away for a while, thought I'd take her out before I go, y'know, boyfriend stuff."

Himiko just smirks at me and gives me a squeez in a not very child friendly place before walking back into the flat, swaying her hips at me as she goes. Some women huh. I take out a mirror and make sure that Himiko's assault of my person is not noticable before I enter the apartment.

If you're wondering how me and Himiko happened, well it's actually a funny story, see there was a plot to test my loyalty, I have no idea who planned it, but basically Himiko would tempt me and see is I stayed loyal. Obviously I didn't, not like I even have a reason to keep the relationship anyway, beyond the constant sex that is. But then me and Himiko actually went at it and it was apparently so good for her that she wanted more, thus she said I was loyal and we get to keep fucking every now and then.

I made sure to get Swan a nice gift after that, for teaching me so well, even if I still have a lot to learn if her skill is anything to go by.

Anyway, I walk into the flat, not bothering to close the door since I'll be leaving again soon, and I see Himiko already laid out on the sofa, staring at me sensually. I just roll my eyes at the minx, she has become increasingly daring, I think she likes the thrill of maybe being caught, but I'd rather not, since it sounds like it would be a pain in the ass. Looking around I don't see Yoshino so I head to her room and enter withut knocking. As I see Yoshino half naked, midway through changing I can't help but think about how I love boyfriend priviliges as she just puts the bra in her hands down and turns to face me instead.

"Hana? What's up?"

I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her waist, looking into her eyes.

"I got a mission, I'll be away for a bit, a month or three, I figured I'd take you on a little date before I left, so get some clothes on and we can go walk 'round the market."

That said I step back and give her firm ass a smack before leaving as she snorts in humour and goes back to getting dressed.

Five minutes later and we are walking through the market street, looking at all the stalls to see if we can't find anything interesting and a few stalls later I see exactly what I was hoping to find. A jewellery store. Now, if you are ever leaving a lady for a leangth of time and want her to keep thinking about you, what you need to do is get her a gift that she can relate to you, that she would have reason to keep near her at all times. Like jewellery.

So when we get near the stall I speak up to Yoshino who's hanging onto my arm.

"Close your eyes for a minute."

"Sure, why though?"

"You'll see."

"Not right now I won't"

Heh, that was actually kinda funny, this is another reason I'd rather not end the relationship, Yoshino is both interesting and funny and I actually do like her. Though it is important to note the distinction between like and love.

Anyway, we get to the stall and I buy a nice necklace, it has a thin silver thread that holds a single, pinkish crystal, I have no idea what it's called but it is pink and sparkly and that's all that really matters as I turn Yoshino to face me.

"Open your eyes. Here, a going away present."

She beholds the necklace and her face softens as she holds her heart with one hand and takes the necklace with the other to better admire it.

"Quick, put it on me!"

Wryly smiling at her adorable enthisiasm I connect the necklace around her neck, obviously, and step back to admire her, I gotta say, seeing her wearing a pink Jewel kinda turns me on which I didn't expect. Not helping that fact is Yoshino as she jumps into my chest to embrace me with a tight hug.

"I love it!" She exclaims, then, quieter, "And I love you."

"I love you too." I lie as I hug her back with a happy smile on my face as we share a quick kiss before she notices my, ahem, excitement, due to our proximity and she gives me a seductive smile and purrs into my ear.

"Now let me give /you/ a little parting gift."

Well, it's like I said, I'm in no rush.

Now late in the evening with the sun dipping below the horizon I am finally leaving the village. Me and Yoshino went at it for a while, then as Yoshino fell asleep and I was leaving Himiko tempted me over and I ended up having to deal with even more delays, how sad.

Now I just need to get to some village I can't remember the name of right now in the northenmost edge of Fire country, should be fun!

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

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