A Murder Wizards Adventure

It's a new dawn, a new day, and it has been a few months since the fall of sky. (It sounds so much cooler to say it like that.)

R&D has made some decent progress on reverse engineering security cameras, so when that finally happens there will probably be a lot less internal patrol missions, which is nice I suppose, not that I've had many of those.

Then again, we are still at war, even if it is dying down now, everyone is running out or recourses, the war literally cannot keep going for another year or two, but without the cameras there would probably be a lot more internal patrol missions where we'd basically just be stopping drunks and the occasional sex offender.

Which would be boring, so yay for cameras!

Who needs privacy anyway?

If you don't have anything to hide, then you shouldn't have a problem with it!

Do you have something to hide?

Anyway, I have made some progress with my Fuinjutsu, oh and I'm also kinda rich now.

The two are related, you see, I introduced another game to the ANBU that they love even more than Liar's Dice, it's called Joker Poker and I shamelessly stole it from an anime called Joker Game.

The way that it works is that it's just poker, however there are other people standing around the table, say it is a normal square table with one player on each side, there would then be another person standing behind the players around the room by each of the corners. The aim of the game is to just play poker, however the extra's will cheat for you, so you have to convince them to signal you the hands that they can see, and you have to convince the person behind you not to reveal your hand, or even better, to give false information.

It is literally a game designed for cheating so naturally ANBU love it, also the reason it gets its name is because you introduce someone to the game by inviting them to play poker, only because they are the only one out of the loop, they lose horribly and are thus, the Joker.

Well, it became such a hit with ANBU that Gecko actually agreed to pay me a sum of money, since it's not like I can sell card decks it's not really possible to profit from just having the idea, but since it has been such a hit Gecko felt it was only fair to pay me for it, which was nice of him to fuel my Fuinjutsu supplies.

Speaking of, onto how this is related to my Fuinjutsu practice, beyond the money, see, I am now always carrying at least one deck of cards around with me at all times, combined with my superhuman dexterity, I'm really good at card tricks, so I got the idea to inscribe playing cards with Fuinjutsu seals.

It's still a work in progress, but it will probably be cool when I'm done.

Not that I will likely use them normally when I have actual weapons, but if I ever have to play civilian or need to be without weapons for whatever reason, then they would be perfect.

Though it is rather annoying to have a new idea when I haven't even finished my other projects.

This Fuinjutsu shit is complicated, give me a break, thankfully I've had Mito to help me otherwise I would still be way further back on my Fuinjutsu.

Speaking of those lessons, me and Kushina don't really get along, she is very short tempered, a trait I find very unappealing. Though I did find it amusingly ironic when she said she hated me.

After all, Mito confided in me that one of the Uzumaki that made it back was Kushina's dad, and he told her about how it was thanks to Butterfly and the others that he made it back alive, and the fact that Butterfly was the only one to make it back which has made Kushina really want to find this mysterious ANBU to thank him for saving her dad.

I haven't told her it's me for a great many reasons, number one among them is that it's funny, number two is that I don't trust her ability to keep a secret even the slightest bit, plus it would just be a bit scummy.

'Oh? You hate me? If it wasn't for me your dad wouldn't be alive. Now kowtow ten thousand times for your arrogance!'

Yeah, I ain't doing that, I don't know how many times I have to say, but I am happy with the genre I have and want no change.

Well, speaking of genre change, I am being forced into a bit of Slice of Life today, as I have the day off and my mum wants to have a family day, just me, her, dad and Kizashi.

I figure a break from my growing number pf projects would be fine, so I agreed.

Also, Kizashi is two now, which means I he can talk well now. I mean not 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 but he can hold a simple conversation.

"Come on Hana-kun! We will miss Hideo-san's breakfast deal if we don't leave soon!"

Haah, getting up from my bed, I take a moment to check myself in my mirror, black shorts, black coat and a pink dress shirt with short, silky hair and shining blue eyes, not a scar on my face.

Truly I look like just a normal cute kid, no one would expect anything else, especially since I won't even be carrying any weapons. Technically.

The only thing I've figured out with my playing cards trick is to make them sharp and sturdy, since that's relatively simple, and they are surprisingly easy to throw considering their similarity to shuriken, and I still can't throw shuriken, not that I've really practiced.

So, raking my hand through my hair to make sure it looks good, I keep my card deck in my hands as I head down the stairs to join my family, idly shuffling and playing with my deck.

"I'm here."

I announce myself when I reach them at the front door and quickly put on a pair of sandals.

"Alright then! To Hideo-san!"

"Yeahh Hidi-sam!!"

Ok I may have been overestimating my little brother's vocabulary skills a little, but you can understand what he means and that's all you really need anyway.

Speaking of my brother, he is nearly 90cm now (3') which makes him come up to about my stomach, though I am likely going to be going through a growth spurt soon. He has the same pink hair as me, just a little less vibrant and more pale and styled into three spikes that he discovered he could do one time in the bath and has refused to change ever since.

My parents both just look like a stereotypical middle aged couple, only my mum has faded pink hair while my dad's is just a boring brown.

Sorry dad, but brown is a boring hair colour.

The walk there is mostly filled with Kizashi talking non stop and my parents engaging with him as I walk by, occasionally joining in, but I find it difficult to even pretend to care about whether or not that cloud looks like a bunny.

We do reach the restaurant before long, it's a simple place, with a worn down sign and a small sitting area with only three tables, its clearly family owned, and you can tell the food is good by how run down the outside of the building looks.

We entre and my dad is already shouting.

"Hideo you ox of man! We're here for breakfast!"

In case it wasn't obvious, they are friends, my dad isn't just an asshole.

"Shutsuga? Since when are you welcome here!?"

Despite his words, me, mum and Kizashi sit down while the two of them shout insults at each other and Hideo prepares our food.

"Those two never change, they've been like that since we were all kids you know?"

Oh? Do I sense a new lore opportunity?

"You've known each other since you were kids?"

"Of course we did! How did you think your daddy and I met?"

"I just assumed he needed help finding bread in the store, and the two of you clicked when neither of you could find it even working together."

"Such a vivid imagination you have! But we actually knew each other since we were little, along with Hideo and some others, we used to play together in the park that the First made for us!"

Did she even notice the insult to their intelligence that I said, or did she just ignore it? Also, the First?

"Did you ever meet the First?"

"Of course I did! The First would visit the park that he made for the villages kids every now and then! You know the tree in our garden? The First gave that to me as a sapling when I scraped my knee."

Ok what? I was expecting new lore, but I have a tree created by the First's Mokuton?

My parents both knew The First?

I suppose if he made time for the kids of the village, that would explain part of why he was and still is so loved.

Before I can ask what he was like, dad come's back with the food and suddenly I am distracted by smoked fish and miso soup and, 𝘩𝘮𝘮𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥.

"So, what were you guys talking about?"

Kizashi takes up the mantle to respond as I gorge myself on food as fast as I can without breaking etiquette.

"mumma oosed to know teh First and he made a tree and we have the tree and it in are gar-gar-gar-den and Onii-sama said you can't find bread!"

Taking a deep breath after rushing all of those words out Kizashi proceeds to ignore us and starts focusing on his food as if he was never a part of the conversation in the first place.

Kids.

"Do you want to hear more about the First, Hana-kun?"

Looking up from my food to my dad, I nod as I wait to finish my mouthful to talk.

"Yeah, what was he like?"

"Well, we were only young at the time, but he was very fun to be around, constantly being silly and making us laugh, they really are some of my best memories, when the First would visit us in the park, your mummy already said how the tree in our garden was a gift from the First, but he actually gave a few of these out, in fact, almost everyone I know has a tree from the First in their garden. Truly no Hokage could ever compare to the Hashirama-sama."

Damn, seeing the almost worshipping look in his eyes, I realise that Hashirama had a much bigger impact that just what he did with the Biju, even if I still think that was a stupid decision, but maybe there was something going on that I don't know about that made it a good decision, or the best of a bad bunch?

I don't know, and I shouldn't judge someone for a situation of which I do not fully understand.

Though now that I think about it, can't I just ask Mito?

I think we're close enough that she wouldn't mind one personal question.

I suppose if I remember, then I will ask her what Hashirama was thinking.

I'm snapped out of my internal dialog by my mother's sly voice.

"So, are there any girls you've taken a liking to?"

What.

Woman, I'm nine.

"I'm nine, and I don't exactly spend time around many girls."

"Well, are there any girls around your age that you spend time with?"

"I suppose that would just be Kushina-san"

"Kushina-san? How come you've never talked about here? Where do you know her from?"

"Because we aren't really close, I know her from my lessons at the Senju compound, she lives there."

"You're friends with a Senju girl?"

"No and no, she is an Uzumaki."

"Well, if you don't like her then who do you like?"

Now I turn my deadpan face to my dad as he asks that, why do they expect me to be crushing on someone? Can't I just be, I don't know, not interested? Since I'm physically incapable of getting horny right now?

Deciding to fuck with them for annoying me, and mostly because it's fun, I make myself blush and avert my eyes.

"Well, there is one girl, h-her name is Shiori-chan"

My mother's eyes practically shine, and my dad looks proud for some reason.

"What does she look like? What is she like?"

My mother is seriously eager.

"W-well, *cough*, she has brown hair to her shoulders and green eyes and a serious personality, she doesn't talk much and it's impossible to sneak up on her. uhm, she has a scar on her cheek too."

It's Hawk. I'm describing Hawk. Since I've already been trusted by Horse enough to see his face, his squad decided that was enough and now we all hang out sometimes when we're all free, usually drinking and gambling, though I abstain from the drinking due to not wanting to fuck my body over, I'm not sure if chakra would protect me but I don't want to risk it.

Also, I don't have a crush on Hawk, I'm actually almost certain that she's a lesbian or just not interested at all, which I can respect.

Anyway, it is my sincere hope that my parents will come across Hawk some day and accuse her of grooming me.

It's like a double prank, my parents get mortified, and Hawk has to avoid prison.

Really it sounds over the top for a prank to potentially land someone in prison, but let me remind you, we are ninjas, I once witnessed a prank that literally just broke some guy's legs. It was funny as fuck how it happened but still, ninja pranks are a little extreme gone wrong.

I mean you've kind of got to go the extra mile, it's not like you can just throw a cake at a ninja and call it a prank, for one we would dodge, and secondly, we would just eat the free cake.

Do you understand how much weaponry costs?

We may be paid well, but most of our income goes to keeping our equipment ready so none of us are going to turn down free cake.

Anyway, this was a nice breakfast, but apparently the day has just begun.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

Instagram @boredmc_works If you want to see my new flat, i'm probably just going to use that account like an actual insta account.

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works