A Murder Wizards Adventure

My insides are thrumming with excitement as we are led into the Daimyo's palace.

We aren't explicitly checked for weapons, but I can feel a wave wash over me as we walk through the doors, so I assume they have some kind of Fuinjutsu metal detector.

Realistically, it's likely to be more advanced than simply detecting metal, but everything I have is stored inside of my tattoos, which are just regular tattoos as far as anyone who can see them is concerned.

These people however, cannot even see my tattoos, as they would be a pretty obvious give away to keep.

So we are led up a mountain, though since we are nobles we didn't have to walk, instead I got to experience sitting on a chair that is being carried by a pair of 'technically not slaves'.

Soon enough, we are walking across a bridge to enter the palace proper.

I say 'walking across a bridge', but it's more accurate to say we walk through a tunnel inside one of the big red support beams holding up the palace.

The palace itself is incredibly unappealing to the eyes with it's bottom being half a sphere of concrete, upon which stands the middle part of an even bigger sphere of glass, the tops and bottom being replaced, by a giant garden and the concrete respectively.

The garden above the main, glass structure is the widest part of the building, making for a rough reverse triangle shape, and is more of a mini jungle than a garden.

I really hope the next Daimyo has a better sense of décor, but I won't hold my breath.

The number of guards visibly increases as we enter the actual building and there seems to be a pair of highly decorated Samurai every ten steps.

Without Sage modes assistance I am still not the best sensor, but even still I can sense the number of Shinobi hidden around increasing.

As we are walking down corridors, I am making sure to keep playing the part of the politely stoic nobleman and disguise my surveying of the building as simple curiosity in the home of the Daimyo.

In reality, I am memorising details, from the paths and where they lead to potential exits, weak points and guard positioning, even the relative strengths of the guards so I know who would be best to fight should it come down to it.

It shouldn't come down to it, but you never know, this is the most difficult part after all, since everyone who works in the Daimyo's palace was born and raised in the Land of Lightning, so we couldn't get a spy in here if we wanted to.

Not that we need to, all I needed was to get inside, that job is now accomplished.

Everything is in place and I couldn't feel better about it.

I almost panic at that thought, thinking that I just jinxed it, but nothing suddenly goes wrong, which makes me feel strangely disappointed to be honest.

I ignore those feelings as we pass by yet another lavishly decorated hallway and walk towards a set of big double doors with a pair of guards standing before it.

These doors are noticeable different to the rest however, how so? I hear you ask, well, that's quite simple.

Not only do these door almost reach the roof, but they are literally covered top to bottom in gold.

With swirls and pretty patterns, gold decorates the doors like paint on a canvas. It is both very pretty and incredibly over the top gaudy.

Not really my style, but I think it's been covered already how I have aesthetic disagreements with these people.

I mean, even the two Samurai guards are wearing gold armour, at some point you just have to ask yourself, how much is too much?

The Samurai escorting us signal the two guards to open the doors and I am given my answer.

Apparently, no amount of gold is too much gold for a Daimyo.

Seriously, what the fuck.

The sight we are presented with is frankly insulting to my sensibilities regarding wealth.

In the centre of the room, is a long table, easily able to fit dozens of people, the table itself however, is made out of pure gold, with the occasional bit of colour mixed in to offset just how gaudy it is.

Above the table is a pair of chandeliers that are so full of crystals and rare gems that just looking at it makes me feel poor for the first time since I was a literal child.

The ceiling itself is naturally also gold, only most of that is covered by the incredibly detailed paintings making up the majority of the ceiling space, paintings depicting what I can only assume from my knowledge are tales from the founding of the Land.

Where there aren't paintings however, there are beautifully and intricately carved engravings along the golden arches.

The walls are in a similar fashion, in that they are gold everywhere that isn't covered by paintings that are probably worth more than the gold they rest upon, there are also some items serving as decorations as well.

Such as a pair of exquisitely designed katana that just from looking at them I can tell how they are far less practical than the simple standard katana you can get from ANBU inventory.

Then there's the part that I've been ignoring because it's pissing me off a little.

The floor is made out of gold.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘳. Made out of 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥.

I get that you want to show off how rich you are, but come on man, the floor? Really?

It's not even like gold is comfortable to walk on, not to mention gold is actually a pretty shitty metal generally speaking, that was why it was used for currency so much, because it is practically useless for just about everything else.

So it was just used for decorative purposes, and people decided to use this useless metal as a stop gap for trade.

But who cares about that, shiny metal go brrr.

Sitting at the extravagant table, is the Daimyo, with his stupid and unnecessarily large hat, naturally in the centre, to his sides sit his family, his wife on his left and his firstborn son on his right.

To their sides are his other two children, a young son and a teenage daughter respectively.

Then past them, the table is full up on their side with the Daimyo's many, many advisors.

It's my first time actually seeing the Daimyo and he is even less impressive than I thought he would be, not only is he fat but he just has that look about him where you just know that he doesn't have any thoughts going on behind his eyes.

Honestly, I'm going to be doing this Land a favour here.

Our entrance to the hall is noticed and the Daimyo looks up from where he was indulging in the lovely smelling food to look at who has arrived.

The Daimyo's eyes focus on Genkei, and brighten as he raises his arms like a baby asking for 'uppies'.

"Genkei-san! So good to see you again, come! Have a seat, have some food, it is the best in all the Land!" He exclaims, every bit the excitable baby I compared him to.

Well, he is certainly a jovial fellow if nothing else.

"I will humbly accept your offer Lord Denkō-sama." My 'father' says with a bow, as we take a seat on the opposite side of the table as the Daimyo himself, making us the people closest to him, along with his family of course.

Oh yeah, the Daimyo does have a name, it being Denkō Kaminari, which I'm pretty sure translates to Lightning Lightning.

Not that his family is any better with the names.

There is the son Inazuma Kaminari, the daughter Inabikari Kaminari and the other son, Raikō Kaminari, all three of which translate to Lightning Lightning.

I guess someone wasn't very creative, or they just really want to rub in the fact that they are the ruling family of the Land of Lightning.

Even the wife is called Raikō Kaminari, which means Thunder Lightning. Slightly better but not by much.

Still, the fact that Genkei can greet the Daimyo as Denkō is pretty impressive. Most people, including myself, have to use 'Lord Daimyo-sama'.

I then have the pleasure of sitting and listening to Genkei flatter the Daimyo as he pretends this isn't exactly what he wants to hear.

It is incredibly boring, but I am ostensibly only here so I can have the opportunity to witness how meetings like this progress in preparation to me taking over the family, Denji is the heir after all, not that I can see the Danuja house surviving for much longer, but hey, that's not my problem.

I'm ending a war here folks, I'm not just a murderer, I am a hero, a heroic murderer if you will, like the heroes of olde.

After the flatteries are over, Genkei starts speaking about what we came here for, some reform or another in one of the coastal cities that the Danuja house has dominion over.

It's kind of funny how Genkei poses the questions as if he is asking the Daimyo, only for one of the advisors to answer in his place, fully knowing that the Daimyo has no idea what they are talking about.

I am distracted from my thoughts when I feel a leg lightly kick my own, looking up, I see the Daimyo's daughter opposite me looking at me with a sly smile.

Well, fuck.

I know I like women, it is not something I have done a great job of hiding, but the Daimyo's daughter is another matter entirely.

Like, if the daimyo disapproves, he can straight up order me executed and no one will raise a fuss about it. That is not a power dynamic that I enjoy, but I can't just brush her off or else she can order my execution for insulting her or something.

I miss being in Konoha, where the nepotism is on my side.

"My greetings, Lady Kaminari-sama, is there anything I could do for you?" I calmly inquire with a politely distant smile on my face.

"Nothing like that Danuja-san, it's simply not often that I see someone around my own age at these boring, old people meetings." She says, completely ignoring the fact that we are sitting on the same table as those boring old people and that they can all hear her.

To be fair, it's not like any of them are going to call her out on it, but it does put me in a precarious position.

After all, I cannot be too swift in agreeing with her, as that would offend the advisors, nor can I disagree with her, as that would offend her, and the Daimyo by association.

I wonder if she knows what kind of position she is putting me in and is doing it on purpose, or if she is simply ignorant of it.

I decide to ignore the problem entirely and focus on the other half of her comment.

After all, it's not like this is my identity, so I don't really need to care about long term repercussions.

So, appeasing the Daimyo's family is most important.

"Indeed, the few meetings I have had the honour of been a part of have rarely held people of similar age to that of myself."

I hope that acting the simple, typical and most importantly, boring, noble would drive away her interest, but she must really never interact with people her own age, because she doesn't seem deterred in the slightest.

"Do you know a lot of people our age? I don't really know anyone my age who isn't a servant, maybe you have a.. fiancée?" She glanced at my hands during the pause, checking for a ring no doubt.

Normally I would like the direction this is going, but right now I would really rather avoid it.

But I don't think I can just blurt out that I'm a eunuch or something.

"Ah, no, not really, and I am not engaged currently, as I am to take over the family before choosing a wife."

The looks she starts sending me let me know that the difficulty of this mission has just risen many fold.

Seriously, if I do anything with the Daimyo's daughter, then the scrutiny I will be under will increase tenfold...

Or would it?

Is the Daimyo stupid enough that he would order his guards to give his daughter privacy, so they do not see her naked?

Hmmm.

He actually might be, the only question is if the guards are all stupid enough to follow that order.

I suppose, if the opportunity comes, I will not try to push it away, but neither will I push for it.

Then again, I don't think I will need to, Inabikari is a young woman that hasn't had much if any contact with boys her age.

In other words, she is thirsty as all hell.

I suppose it wouldn't be the worst way to go about this, it doesn't change much and it's something I can brag about when Tsunade isn't around.

I know Tatsuya would be jealous, and Shiori would probably roll her eyes and call me a stupid pervert, maybe even try and kick me in the dick again.

She's so mean, what did I ever do to her?

I chuckle in my mind at the memories of lost friends and try my best to ignore the empty feeling welling in my chest.

I miss them.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

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