A life with the Author

Yuito made her better.

And she ruins Yuito.

Now Yuito was angry, he started beating Takaru. The sound reverberated inside the soundproof room.

It sounded like gunshots.

But she could not even be scared at such a violent scene. 

Because the world was crashing, crashing, crashing.

Tears falling, falling, falling until her stomach hurts.

Yuito was in pain. She saw that and she was in agony. It was her fault.

Yuito was doing something bad. She saw that and knew she had done worse. It was her fault.

Yuito was betrayed. She saw that and knew she was the traitor. It was all her fault.

Only hers.

After eternity, he no longer hurts Takaru. He turned around and she saw that the pain in his eyes which was there before had lessened.

She could not look away. The pain he bore reduced. It was because he beat up Takaru. 

He towered over her. She did not move away. She looked him right in the eye, in his pain. He raised his hand.

'Yes, beat me too!!'

Make your pain lessen by beating her, Yuito.

He hesitated so she leans forward.

'Do it.'

But he can`t, he was still so kind to her. He should`ve used her to lessen his pain.

She cried harder.

He walked past her and looked at Takaru`s bag. She didn`t know what he was doing .

The only thing she knew was he returned and he argued with Takaru and he became more and more angry.

"Are you angry? You don`t have the right to be angry when you leave your sext girl all lonely-" she heard Takaru say.

No, No, No ,No NO!!!

It was not Yuito.

Its her, her, her, her. All HER!! All her fault.

He got angry and did horrible things to Takaru before dragging him inside the bathroom.

All she heard was screams of torment and agony. She thought she ruined Yuito. She though she made Yuito a monster.

But those horrible screams were drowned out by the voice inside her. Telling her its her fault, telling her she broke everything, telling her he should`ve never met her.

'You shouldn`t have ever met me Yuito.'

She looked down on the ground. She broke apart due to guilt and self hate.

why? why? why? Why was she such a horrible girl? Why was she such a slut?

Yuito got out from the bathroom. She still hang her head low. As low as she can.

He approached her and stood in front of her.

Then he put his hand on her head and ruffled her hair, like he always do. Only this time it didn`t feel warm.

It felt numbing cold.

It felt like the world was pressing on her. It aches.

Then he spoke, his tone sounded monotonous and cold. But Tsukimi heard the emotions within that layer of ice.

"Why did you do it?"

He hates her so much.

She choked and forced her cries down her throat. Why should she cry infront of him? It was him who got hurt. She had no rights to cry.

She used all her courage and looked up. Her eyes met his eyes. His eyes were firm and strong.

She wanted to say sorry. She wanted to beg. But she didn`t.

She didn`t deserve to say sorry.

"I am a slut." She was honest, she tried to hide it from him before but she didn`t now.

Yes, that`s what she is.

"Would it have been different if we had gotten intimate?" he asked again.

No.

You did everything right.

It was her. She just didn`t deserve you.

"I wouldn`t trust myself to it." she said with a shake of her head.

Yes, he shouldn`t have ever taken a girl like her seriously. She was just a bitch.

"Its over now."

Its.

over.

now.

The words which make the world crash. Her heart broke apart, she fears he might even hear it breaking.

She destroyed everything.

"I understand." she said.

She understands. Leave her.

She didn`t want to cry infront of him. She didn`t want him to feel even the slightest pity for her.

Yet she could not force down her tears anymore so she just stopped.

Styop breathing. Stopped moving. Stopped feeling.

She was just solid now. Like ice.

He walked away but before he leave, he said he hoped to never see her again.

Yes. Don`t worry Yuito, you would never see her again.

Because she would never forgive her. The girl who hurts you Yuito.

Her, her, her, her...

Me, me, me..

'I won't forgive me.'

He left and she erupted. She melts on the bed, she was liquid now.

Nothing but tears.

--------

She was crying now that he left. As hard as she can.

Her heart aches and she was happy it aches. She wants to suffer. She needed to suffer.

She deserved to suffer.

The door opened.

She looked up and met Yuito eyes again. His head awkwardly peeked out from the door.

"Umm...Do you want me to walk you home? It`s dangerous at night." He said.

Did she hear that right?

He asked if she wanted him to walk her home?

'But you hate me Yuito.'

He was still caring for her. Why?

He was still kind after he was betrayed. Why?

She hurts you, she ruins you. So why?

...

...

'Wait.' she paused, then realization struck her.

She laughs.

She laughs at herself because of how high she thought of herself. She also laughs because of joy.

She looked at him again. He was so kind.

'And you betrayed him.' a voice inside her said, pressing on her sore heart.

He was so strong. She didn't think anyone would come back. She was sure any other man would not look back and leave, as they should.

But not him. He was Yuito. 

"I am so glad...you did not change." she whispered.

He was still perfect. He was still so kind. He was still everything.

She was so glad.

Because she didn`t ruin Yuito.

No.

She can`t ruin Yuito.

And to think that she thought someone like her could ruin him.

She must`ve been crazy.

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Author : Double chapter. Thank you for reading.