A Gamer's Guide To Beating The Tutorial

That went a lot better than I expected. Reminder to self: Moleman has eyes on his neck and can sense people looking at him. Magic? A skill? Sheer ability? No clue. But he can do it, even when I’m in the fetal position, which suggests that it’s more than mere instinct. Even crazier, he can sense me through closed and locked doors! All I wanted was to hear what he had to talk to his party about, but I guess I should have understood that it was a private affair.

As for everything else… Yeah. I’m starting to enjoy myself!

Right now, we’re heading to the university hospital. I know the route since I followed him there a few times, but it’s nice to walk on the actual road for once. In view of everyone. No disguise, no crawling and crouching, no shortcuts through people’s houses… It’s exhilarating.

And Moleman is here! He’s walking next to me, the both of us in full view, and he doesn’t seem even slightly ashamed of my company! I’m so happy. I really thought he wouldn’t be okay with me this time. I mean, with what I did… He could’ve punched me and it would’ve been fine by me. Heck, he could have thrown me out the window and still be fully justified. Apparently, his party is cool with it, too. Weird rules, but since they can be followed by just hanging out with Moleman, there’s no issue.

So, now we’re walking in here, in a stretch of relative silence. It hasn’t been more than six hours since we did this exact same song-and-dance, so it’s a bit surreal. I’d like to comment on it to Moleman, but he seems to have enough to think about as is.

Not that I mind a bit of silence. Peace and quiet can be nice, if it’s with a good friend. However, the fact that we aren’t technically alone sours it a bit. Every now and then, I’ll glance up and see a pair of eyes peering down at me from between the shutters of a darkened house. I’m fine with them looking at me like that, but Moleman?

Let’s just say it’s taking a fair bit of effort not to crawl up the side of their walls and, you know… Yeah. Moleman wouldn’t like it.

Our silence persists all the way until we reach the university hospital. The hospital is apparently made up of four buildings, each situated around an open courtyard. Without pausing to let be absorb the fact that one of the buildings looks way more like a gothic church than a hospital, Moleman strides into the less ornamental, more modern building opposite to it. Once inside, he makes me wash my hands, clads himself in a white robe, and off we go. Of course, it’s not like a normal hospital—the walls aren’t WHITE, the floors aren’t WHITE, and the lighting is calm and easy. It’s kind of cozy, though I imagine the people in here might not feel that.

Yeah, on that note… It smells really bad here. I’ve been sneaking around the place for two weeks now, but it’s really different once you’re in here. The lack of modern cleaning methods leaves the place smelling at least slightly like death at all times, though occasionally the alcohol overpowers it. More than all of that, it smells like infection. In the air, in the halls, in the walls… The smell makes me frown.

“Everything alright, Kitty?” Moleman asks.

I meet his gaze. It’s subtle, but since we entered the hospital, he’s walking straighter, and there’s a weary look in his eye. If I asked him, I’m sure he’d deny it, but I really don’t think he likes being in here. Regardless, I smile at him. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good—that’s good,” he says, a hint of worry to his voice. His eyes quickly hop to look down the hallway we’re in. “I’m sorry for not saying this before, but we’re heading to meet with Doctor Benevil, who’ll hopefully give us a list of which patients Jazz decided to visit. That is, assuming he is actually in his office. Where he’s supposed to be right now…”

That last part seems to be more of a general complaint than anything. “Doctor Benevil?” I perk a brow at him. “Is that seriously his name?”

Moleman pauses for a moment, lips pursed. “I think so. It could be a pseudonym, but I wouldn’t know.”

I stop in place. “Wait, for real?”

He looks back at me, makes a difficult face, and waves for me to join him again. I jog up next to him. He sighs. “Alright, so, the deal is…” After only walking for a few steps, suddenly, he’s the one who stops. “Actually, I guess you’ll understand it once you see him yourself. It’s difficult to explain, so all I can say is that he really isn’t as he seems.”

That’s one way to heighten the expectations, I guess.

He turns to a closed door on his left, a small nameplate on it reading ‘Dr. Banevil, A. of Cr.’ Whatever that means. Drawing himself even straighter, Moleman knocks twice on the door. I look between him and the closed door, absently sniffing. We wait for a minute or so. “Um, Moleman?” I say. He glances at me. “Not to kill the mood, but there’s no one in there.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah,” I say. “The chair’s still a little warm, so I’d guess whoever was in there left less than a minute ago.”

“...You can smell that through the door?”

I stare at him. He stares back at me. Eventually, after almost ten seconds, he breaks into a chuckle. “I hope you never stop surprising me, Kitty.” Reaching for the door handle, he pushes it down, somehow surprised when the door actually opens. And, as I knew beforehand, it’s empty. The office is a fairly pleasant room as far as offices go, filled with potted plants and books and other various knick-knacks. The most interesting thing on display would be the caged drake in the corner, sleeping restfully on a little perch. It’s been a while since I saw a living drake, especially one as colorful as this.

Moleman glances briefly at the empty office before sighing and turning his back on it, closing the door halfway before his eyes fall on me. He blinks at me. I imitate the expression. I sense a metaphorical lightbulb above his head being abruptly lit. “Hey, Kitty?” I tilt my head at him. He nods towards the office. “If you smelled his office a little, do you think you could find him?”

“You mean, like a bloodhound?”

He only gets the words out of his throat with great difficulty, “I just… Yeah, but… If you don’t want to, there’s really no reason, I was only…”

I stick my head into the office and take a deep whiff. Flowery. Soap. Sanitizing alcohol. Something sweet—candy? But also something else, some notes I can’t really place…

I move back into the hallway. Sniff sniff sniff. I point down the way we came from. “There.”

He looks at me in mild awe. “You are really good at that stuff.”

“Heh, well, with my skills, I could probably find anyone, if I was really looking for them,” I say, wiping my nose. “Now, shall we find this Benadryl guy?”

“Benevil,” Moleman corrects. “Doctor Benevil. And, yes. Lead the way, Kitty.”

I lead the way. It really wasn’t a long walk, and before long, we’re in front of a door leading into a small ward to the side. This place is like a maze, and without Moleman to guide me, I would probably have led us into a closet or something. Anyway, after a while, we find the guy.

“And what happened then, Doctor?”

The doctor swept a gaze across the bed-bound children around him. “Well! I’m glad you asked, my dear. See, the God of Curiosity—He couldn’t let His darling little planet live in darkness, now could He? Without some light, we wouldn’t be able to dance the summer waltz, and the sundials wouldn’t work, and the whole world would freeze over. So, to let us live in warmth and love, He—”

The floor creaks beneath us and he turns to us. Cooky. His mane is a tangled mess sprouting out in all directions, almost completely WHITE in color and very reminiscent of a bird’s nest. It’s only barely contained within his WHITE coat, though my eyes remain stuck on his face in large part because it seems as though his bright fog-gray eyes can see nothing but me. Recognition flashes across his face and his smile widens to show a pair of distinct buck teeth.

Before either of us can do anything else, he turns back to the kids. “He granted us…” With a dramatic flourish, he pulls a small red bead from his inner pocket. “The sun!” While the children stare with big, excited eyes, he fishes around inside his coat, retrieving a small pouch, into which he places the bead. “Of course, He gave us many more stars than that—the south star, the big blot, the five drakes…” As he speaks, he moves about the room, depositing a single little candy into each child’s outstretched hand, making sure not to miss a single one. “Yes, in His eternal love, He granted us not just light during the day, but at night, too! And all was well, until the very first dragon came to be…!” While the kids were still smiling and wowed, he gave us a quick glance, turning back to them only to wrap things up. “However, that story, alongside the tale of the very first God—the God of Harvest—will have to come tonight. You can wait that long, can’t you?”

“Awww, do you have to go already?”

“You can’t stop there! Please, can’t you tell just a little bit more?”

“Pretty please?”

The doctor chuckles warmly. “I’m sorry darlings, but I have a feeling our good friend Moleman has something he’d like to talk to me about. Now, you be good, and don’t tell Nursula I gave you those candies, okay?”

The children all agree, and he turns to us, striding up with confidence very much befitting his title. Yes, although I really should be looking at his face, my eyes are stuck on the status message hovering above his head.

He grabs my hand and I only have time to look down at him before he shakes it vigorously, smiling broadly. “It’s good to finally meet you! Oh, I have heard so much about you, my brother! Come—come, let’s talk in my office.”

“I—you are—” While I’m still reeling, I catch Moleman’s gaze. He looks tentative, but not fully reluctant, so even though I’m confused, I let him herd us all the way back to his office. Well there, he sits us down in front of his desk, only remaining standing in order to remove his pet drake from its cage, the sleepy creature yawning before slipping around his neck to nestle in his mane.

With that, he sits down in front of us, a smile wrinkling the edges of his eyes. “Oh, I have been so excited to meet you. Now, is it true what He said about this martyr-making skill?”

I slowly turn to look at Moleman. He’s befuddled to the max. Right. I turn back to this… doctor person… and steeple my fingers atop the desk as a show of confidence. “Who told you about what? Who’s been talking about me?”

He blinks at me. “Why, our benefactor, of course.”

“We have a benefactor?”

He laughs with mirth. “Oh, my, forgive me, it seems I’ve failed to introduce myself! As Moleman must have told you, I am Doctor Benevil, Apostle of the God of Cruelty.”

“No you’re not,” I blurt out. Both Moleman and Benevil stare at me. “Be—because… You’re not. The god of cruelty is… He’s cruel and evil, and you’re clearly…”

His smile twitches. “Oh, but I am.” He draws himself up, the dawning sun hiding his face in shadow, the grin he wears twisting into a crooked grimace. “You see, although I may save lives, in truth, I—”

“Doctor, I was wondering if you could tell me today’s schedule?” Moleman asks, completely cutting him off. For a second I expect the doctor to send him to Hades with a look, but there’s nothing of the sort.

He softens back down, his smile shifting only slightly to return to his calm happiness. “Of course! Let’s see here…” He removes a list from one of his drawers. “Yes, Jazz chose path B today, which leaves you with path A. Since you both came in so early, I expect you to finish half of the route before lunch-time, and then the rest afterwards, and…” He pauses, looking up at Moleman with a sympathetic glint in his eye. “Would you be alright with coming in later tonight? Jod Linne is acting up again, and a few of his roommates have raised concern that he might not have much longer. If nothing else, I’d like you to be present in case something were to happen. Of course, if you aren’t available, I can always…”

“No, no, I’ll be there,” Moleman hastily answers. “I’d love to help.” His smile turns wry. “We humans don’t need much sleep, after all.”

“Oh, yes, so I’ve heard,” he says, shooting me a meaningful smirk. I pull at my collar. Eugh, maybe the vest was a bit much… “Yes, to be able to go without sleep is indeed a power to which I attribute much of my happiness.” Without saying anything else, he abruptly stands up. “Now, I shan’t keep you from your duties any longer. Will you be bringing Kitty along, or shall he grace this hospital for a bit longer?”

“He’ll be coming with me,” Moleman says. “We still haven’t fully decided how best to use his abilities, so for now, I’ll keep him nearby.”

“I see, I see. Well, you two take care of yourselves,” the doctor says. His eyes slide to look at me. I feel a patch of goosebumps bloom across my back. “I hope to see you soon, my brother. We have much to talk about.”