A Friendly Voidling

In the audience chamber of the royal palace, the former mayor of Glimmerhome stood before the king.

"...and so that is why we abandoned Glimmerhome."

The king nodded; he probably would have run away too. There was just one problem. "So, what do you intend to do when it follows you?"

"Follows me?"

"You said it was seeking friends. With Glimmerhome empty, it will naturally have to look further afield."

"Oh... Ah... Umm..."

Much to his relief, the former mayor was rescued from his stammering by the entrance of a soldier.

"Sire, we have just received a message from the Rudellians. They are forfeiting the remainder of their offensive season, following our spectacular defence of Glimmerhome, in which their entire army was defeated by the city mayor and a single warrior. They applaud our play and offer their congratulations on us taking the lead."

The king peered at the former mayor. "I would say that congratulations are in order, but I feel that if you'd defeated an entire army on your way out, you would have mentioned it."

"Yes, regrettably, I have no idea what that message is about. But, if there were only one registered citizen remaining in the city, I believe they would become mayor by default. Maybe it successfully found a friend after all?"

The king considered the thought of someone with a Creature of the Void at their beck and call and, after shuddering for the appropriate amount of time, called over to the soldier. "Please take a message back to the Rudellians. We would like to propose an alliance."

Anya stumbled into a bathroom within the Market of Affection. She had, after Jill had explained one or two things about the real purpose of the establishment, taken the effort to create for herself a more accurate faximile of a human body, and let it start doing some of the automatic things that it seemed to want to do. She'd even gone as far as to start using the fleshy brain to think with, which was a profoundly odd experience. It kept trying to go off and do its own thing, despite Anya's efforts to keep it on track, and that was without the whole issue of hormones. Why did a few simple chemicals make her feel so different? At least it had reduced the frequency of accidental tentacles, and it wasn't as if she couldn't give up the body any time she liked. Yes, any time. Probably. Hopefully.

On the downside, that meant she suddenly had to deal with stupid, pointless things like breathing and eating. And poo. How ridiculous was poo? Why did these creatures expel precious mass? Why not just convert it to energy? Instead, they relied on hopelessly inefficient chemical processes. It was such a waste.

On the upside, ohmygosh! How had she lived for so long without ever finding out about sex?! Apparently it was supposed to be done between one male and one female, but Jill had brought out several interesting devices that had happily solved that issue. Very happily. Anya had never been sore before, but it had been so worth it. Actually, that brought back to mind the women whose head she had ripped off... Oops; it hadn't been any sort of two-headed creature after all. Ah well, too late to do anything about it now. She'd just have to apologise if she saw the man again.

She gently lowered herself into the steaming hot bath, the magic that powered it still running smoothly despite the city's abandonment. Jill staggered in shortly afterwards, utterly naked and bow legged. "That... That thing you did... The one with the eels. You have to teach me that."

That amount of speech having exhausted her currently limited mental capacity, Jill slumped into the bath too. She was starting to suspect that, despite previous assumptions, Anya was not actually completely human. She was used to her more perverted magically-blessed clients summoning tentacles, but eels were a new one.

The two lay there in silence, recovering from their exertions. At least until they were distracted by a loud bang, the windows rattling as the shock-wave passed. Jill barely twitched. "Wow, is it Tuesday already? I'd completely lost track of time."

She dipped back in to thoughtful silence, before speaking up again. "You know, I've always wanted to explore, to get out and see the world a bit. With the city abandoned, something important is sure to explode at some point, so we can't stay here forever. We should go on a journey, just the two of us."

Anya pushed herself marginally more upright. "Aren't you this city's ruler? Is it okay for you to just leave?"

"I don't see why not. The last mayor did."

Anya considered that and saw no flaw in the argument. Besides, it would be interesting to wander around this alien world for a bit with her new friend. "Fair enough."

Dragging themselves out of the bath and into their clothes, the two of them started gathering necessities. It was kind of the previous inhabitants to leave them so much stuff, and Anya started filling out her pockets with food, clothing, tools and other gear. She even remembered to pack up Jill's interesting collection of devices, for later enjoyment. Jill watched on with incredulity as thirty centimetres of silicone vanished into a pocket that couldn't have been more than ten centimetres in depth. She lifted up Anya's skirts, but no, there was nothing under there either. Where was it all going?

"How are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"You've just packed an entire store worth of clothing into one pocket."

"Yes?"

The two stared at each other in mutual incomprehension, until Anya realised her mistake. "Oh, is that not normal? Sorry, another thing to add to my list. How do you carry all your belongings with you when you move around then?"

"Umm... Normally, we don't. That's why everyone left so much stuff behind when they ran away."

"Oh... Should I put it all back?"

"Nah, keep it. That's a useful trick."

Anya shrugged, and continued packing away several stores' worth of goods, while Jill watched on. Since she didn't seem to have anything to do, she turned her mind to other matters. It has been said by philosophers that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, which is a rather sweeping generalisation given the many different types of knowledge, but the statement does have at least some truth to it. In this case, Jill possessed the knowledge that she was, however unwilfully, the city's mayor, and that mayors had at least some responsibility. She also knew that there was one more being within the city who, while not strictly a citizen, at least had a good head on his shoulders. She knew that fact well, because she'd helped Anya to put it back after it had, umm... accidentally fallen off. Therefore, rather than just running away, she should carry out her duty properly.

She was also curious about one or two things, so rather than summoning him there and then, she returned to the bathroom, locked the door, then carefully inspected the room. Finding nothing untoward, she stood with her back to the bath. "Servant?"

"Yes, mistress?"

She turned to see the servant standing waist deep in the pool. There hadn't been a splash, nor was it overflowing.

"I would complain that's impossible, but I've just watched Anya pack away a ten-person tent into a pocket of her dress without even bothering to dismantle it first. Anyway, we're leaving the city, so I was planning to appoint a new mayor."

"Mayors aren't permitted to directly appoint their successor, mistress."

"I know, there has to be an election. But I am the only eligible voter, am I not? Therefore, if I declare an election to begin in ten seconds, last another ten, to be conducted orally and with you to adjudicate, that's all perfectly legal, correct?"

The servant considered that and had to agree it was true. "Very well, mistress. I declare this election open."

"Good. I vote for you."

"Umm..."

"Look, with us two gone, you'll be the only one left in the city, citizen or not. You seem sensible and dedicated, so you should do a great job. Thanks."

"Umm..."

Ignoring the golem, Jill turned and left. Of course he was dedicated; he was a golem! But he was definitely not sensible; again, golem! There was no fundamental requirement that a golem had to serve a master, but it was nevertheless a very good idea, and such a master should also be very careful as to what instructions they give. In this case, the vital knowledge that Jill was lacking included such things as the fate of the drowned city of Bonedry, in the centre of the Rainless Desert, where some golems had been instructed to carry as much water as possible into the city. Or the active volcano over to the east, created when someone had told a golem to dig a hole and had forgotten to tell it to stop, getting a mighty surprise once it hit the mantle. Or the fate of the ancient lost continent of Fooh, where the people had decided to make a golem their ruler to avoid all the annoying power struggles and wars and such, and the first thing the golem had done was to decide that the biggest threat to the country was its people. This golem, finally processing what had just happened, resumed his movement and set out to do what was best for the city.

Fortunately, by that point Jill and Anya had already reached a safe distance.

An encirclement of hundreds of the continent's best mages, Rudellian and Politellian alike, surrounded the city of Glimmerhome. No-one was even trying to kill each other, for the most part. There was, of course, still a small amount of background stabbing going on, because there's always a few who think they're above obeying orders, especially among the arrogant upper echelons of mage-hood. Nevertheless, on the whole, things were going well, and the greatest banishment circle the world had ever seen was slowly taking shape around the city. Killing the Creature was well beyond the ability of even this gathering, assuming it could be killed at all. Likewise, any attempt to contain or seal it would be doomed to failure. Banishing it back to the Void, though, should be barely within their power. It was their best and only option. The sigils engraved into the dirt hummed with power, and the entire construction roared to life.

It was a truly impressive piece of magecraft, of a level seen once a century at most, the raw power washing over the whole city being visible even to the naked eye. Anya would have been impressed, had she been around to see it. She wasn't able to witness it, however, on account of already being halfway to the next city over, a fact which the celebrating pair of kings would have greatly preferred to have known beforehand.

On the bright side, the spell wasn't completely wasted. When the following Tuesday came around, all was quiet, without a single explosion disturbing the peace. On the downside, it had caused the city's new new mayor to identify both major powers as enemies.