A Chronometric Defect

*bzzzzz*

Wait, what the heck is this? And why is HIS name in my head? Did he do something to me?

I press the button which says 'accept.'

"Hello, Raiz."

Fuck!

"Ah, hello! Just who I wanted to hear from."

"First time anyone's told me that."

No kidding.

"No, no. It's fine. I'm glad to hear from you."

"Enough kiss-ass. How's Yenim doing?"

"She's recovering splendidly. Turns out, she had a lot of brain swelling, so we had to heal her for a fairly long time."

"That makes sense."

"It does."

"So. You know how she was injured, then?"

How does he do that?

"Yes. Arrow straight through the brain and out the back of the skull. Very fatal. Always fatal."

"Yenim's an exception, I expect?"

"Uhm, yes. How did you pull that off?"

"I can't teach the spells. Each cast costs more Mana than a human's entire Mana pool. But I can teach the concepts. Just teach me healing magic in return."

Excuse me... What?

"You don't know healing magic?"

"None."

"Then how did you—"

"I created new brain matter."

I'd mentally say 'what?' again, but my thoughts are already bogged down by the sheer absurdity.

"You rebuilt her brain instead of healing it?"

"Yes, because I don't know healing magic."

Let me get this straight. He doesn't know how to cast basic healing spells, so he goes straight for remaking her brain from nothing? Is he a dragon or a descended god?

"I... Guess it's good you did? I don't think any level of healing magic can fix such a severe injury. Yenim was lucky the arrow went all the way through, otherwise she would've been beyond saving. Nothing can heal a blocked wound, but taking it out would've killed her for sure."

"It didn't."

"What didn't?"

"The arrow, it didn't go all the way through. She was wearing her helmet; it lodged inside her skull like a support beam."

You know what? Descended god. Definitely.

"May I refer to you as the dragon god?"

"Rhem. Why the sudden change?"

"Her brain was reconstructed perfectly. She's retained all her memories, even the one of the arrow impacting the back of her skull. Now you tell me it didn't LEAVE her skull? It's not possible for a mortal to fix that. You're probably immortal and haven't said anything."

"Well, I didn't tell you."

Oh! But of course.

"You are?"

"Yes. And honestly, after the day I've had? I'd appreciate a little veneration."

Pff, dragons are so easy to please. He can talk but still acts like a dragon.

"Dragon god it is. So, how are we talking, my god?"

"A man called Aitos made this. Brilliant. Dead."

Oof, ouch. Immense anger in that last word.

"I'm sorry for your loss, my god. Then, you wanted to know about Yenim's doings? She's rejoined as the Achiton guard captain. Frankly, I don't understand how she whipped a bunch of rebels into a competent city guard in just one day."

I really don't. We were getting our asses kicked on the western front. She walks out there, then a few hours later the monsters are retreating. The guard was so overjoyed they threw her a party.

"Tactics, Raiz. Your syndicate used extensive strategies during the takeover, but tactics are more useful against brainless monsters. And brainless criminals for that matter."

That makes a surprising amount of sense.

"Is there anything you don't know?"

A pause.

"Healing magic."

...

Is healing magic the ONLY thing?

How much does this freak of a dragon know?

"My beloved god. Healing magic, certainly. Does that mean you're coming back to Achiton?"

"Soon— actually, I've split myself into two. I'm currently busy annexing Tengerii; it's taking much longer than I expected. My other half will meet you in a few hours."

Wow! I sincerely regret asking.

"Youuuuu... Split yourself into two."

"Right. It's still me, though. Don't worry."

Absolutely. Why would I worry that the dragon god is multiplying into more dragon gods? Or... More of the same dragon god?

Now MY brain hurts. I didn't even get shot.

"Uh huh. So, my god. You're taking over Tengerii as well? They're a lot stronger than us."

"Well, I took over Haitos first. It was good practice. I just installed Yvilos, a merchant, as the new leader after purging the corrupt officials. That half of me just finished up in Haitos and is currently flying back to Achiton."

"You now run two cities?"

"Indeed, you're likely disloyal."

Hss... He knew all along, didn't he?

"I was until a few minutes ago. Sorry."

"It's fine. I half-assed it in Haitos and got Aitos killed. So, I figured Achiton wasn't any better. Thanks for being honest. If you said anything else, I was going look for another new leader."

Wait, he keeps saying Aitos is dead. Aitos was the leader of Haitos. And now he says 'look for another new leader.'

Is that... Is that a veiled threat?

...

Geeeeeeh.

I gotta tell Adelia to cancel all Eritromi plans. I really mean it— I'm loyal. Pure Evil's legitimately a god, in my view. Humans don't fight gods. They either submit or get squashed. I don't buy that crap about the godslayer, either.

"My god, have you faced their barrier yet?"

"Is the Tengerii barrier so famous?"

"The Purified Heavens makes a big deal about how they protect their citizens. They show their city barriers being hit with meteor and lightning spells, then spread the news around. I know it's tough, but I figure you can eventually break it."

"Oh, I absolutely did. Things went waaaaay overboard. Almost accidentally annihilated the surrounding hundred or so towns plus the city itself. It might've even destroyed Achiton and Haitos if I'd not kept things under control."

What. The. Fu—

"Why the heck did you do THAT?"

"No, no, no. I roared, which made it explode."

WHAT.

"Pardon me, you roared and almost destroyed the entire region? I know you're strong, but—"

"Sorry, I'm inexperienced controlling two bodies. This is difficult even with my amazing mental abilities. In short, my roar tears apart space. I got a lot stronger since you heard it."

Oh, he got a lot stronger. Of course he did. Why would he stop with just being an actual god? Why not keep getting stronger, yeah?

"Right. Right! Naturally. Makes perrrrrfect sense."

A long pause.

...

Was I too sarcastic?

"Anyway, the wall's inscriptions all exploded simultaneously. I had to cast a spell over the whole wall to prevent it from annihilating everything."

He cast a spell covering Tengerii's entire city wall?! Over four million people live in that city!

Oh, right. He's an immortal god. I keep needing to remind myself.

"So, you saved them."

"Saved them from myself, I guess."

Fair point.

"May I ask why you're conquering human cities, oh glorious dragon god?"

"Mostly because the Emperor is a douche."

Hm.

"That's it?"

"Not entirely, but that's the gist of it. See, I can eat anything to make myself stronger. Land, air, water. Which means, I can do whatever I want, right? I want to kill the Emperor. However, I'm going to annex his cities before I do that."

So logical yet so nonsensical.

"What'd he do to piss you off so bad?"

"He tortures people for kicks."

Uhhhhhhh. Okay then.

"Why capture cities, though?"

"Originally, it was mostly a whim; dragon collects treasure and reverent followers. Then, it was self-preservation. Now? I've decided to clean up all the rot. It'll let me know exactly what he's done and whether he had good reasons."

He really is acting like a god. Dragon or not.

I'd better try to please him.

"Thank you for allowing Achiton to be the first spoils placed upon your hoard, my ineffable dragon god."

"Ragh, now you're overselling it."

Well. Yeah. This conversation keeps getting more terrifying by the... Wait a second. How would he know what the Emperor did? How does he always know what I'm thinking?

"Don't tell me you can read minds, my god?"

"Hrah? How did you figure out I could do that?"

Kkkkkkkhhhhhhh.

MENTAL STATIC.

Kkkkkkkkhhhhhh.

Nah, screw this.

"May I go? I need to lie down."

"Sure. I'll be there shortly."

"Ask for Adelia, then."

"Everything okay?"

"I don't know."

I never will.