A Chronometric Defect

"I can't possibly believe this; you know that right? Even if I could, I won't accept it."

"Hun, I don' give a CRAP what you believe. My time 'as been loooong as an info broker. I know whuz's real an' whuz's nuts. Aight?"

"Putting aside how your syndicate carried out an insurrection with such precision. Putting aside that I screwed up by appointing Maro. Putting aside the mayor's idiotic tendency to do whatever he pleased without any regard for my guards' duties to him. Putting aside the fact Pure Evil somehow saved me from certain death with a crazy technique nobody's ever seen or heard of before. And, the most baffling part, that he appointed me as his 'surrogate.' Whatever THAT is supposed to mean. Put ALL of that nonsense aside for a moment."

"Yea, hun? You just said a whole lotta nothin'."

Yenim scowls at me.

"You want ME to believe, that that THING, that dragon, who calls himself PURE EVIL, was seen by you PERSONALLY... But as a kaizen."

Yea, I know how it looks, hun.

"He stumbl'd into my shop very disorient'd. Didn't seem to know which waaay wuz up. Ask'd me one of the dumbest questions I ever did heard. Meander'd out, while bein' kind and gracious. Duz'zat sound like Pure Evil?"

"No, it doesn't. And why are you agreeing with me? That doesn't help your position at all."

Hah! Naive.

"Think so, hun? What's the number one symptom of 'ssive Mana intake?"

"'ssive?"

I roll my eyes.

"Ex—cessive"

Her eyes brighten up.

"Confusion, but—"

And now, those gears 'er-a-turnin'. I always know how'ta make tha rubes see tha light.

"Then, when Pure Evil appeared in that house minutes later, without anyone having seen..."

C'mon. Yooou c'n do it.

"But that doesn't explain where he came from or how he got excessive Mana intake. Not to mention, I've never heard of excessive Mana intake causing a kaizen to transform into a dragon! Much less one like Pure Evil."

Ah, shit. Well, I can work wi'this.

"My information network is still active, hun. I was able ta figure out where 'e came from. Tha western badlands. Yanno, tha place heroes go ta die? There'r so many monsters out there, we can barely keep a lid on 'em all without yer guards. Sorry, by tha way."

I watch 'er face closely. She's listenin'. Not angry at me fer some reason. I gotta keep goin'.

"An' this random, neon orange kaizen, rare as anythin', yanno, jus' waltzes outta those badlands without so much as PANTS! Marches raght up ta tha army recruiter, an' gets 'emself kick'd raght back out. Sees me an' acts like a fool, goes to the tradin' post an' acts like a bigg'r fool, then runs raght back up to the western slum 'gain."

I take a breath.

I don' wanna say this. This bit is from Leario. But from the look on 'er face, I ain't give'nough.

"Fihnally, an' you ain't gon' spread this aroun', aight? I got intel from a trust'd source tha' the western guard captain was tipped off. Le— someone seen an orange kaizen enterin' tha house and report'd 'n attempt'd break-in."

Her eyes open wide. Got'em. Bett'r strike while tha iron's hot.

"Nothin' 'e did is normal, hun, so I ain't even gonna speculate on yer lahter three questions."

"But, but— HOW?!"

"Ah dunno, hun. I'm 'n info broker, not 'n oracle."

"C— can we do that? An oracle, I mean?"

Oh gods, does this one also hav' 'ssive Mana intake? Concussion? No, maybe it's 'er brain.

I'll check 'er swellin' in a jiff.

"Sweets, oracles 'r myths. They ain't real. Tha bes' one can do is calculate tha future, but that changes tha future soon as ya do anythin' different. Even wit'hat, we can only predict, not 'splain. It's like askin' a cow ta do math."

She looks at me all angry-like.

"Don't you all realize how absurdly dangerous that dragon is? How easily he could kill us all? I wanted him to leave Achiton, originally. Fine. Good. That's how we're trained to deal with dragons. But now? Now I'm afraid he flew off to go conquer another city. He's SMART, Adelia. Far smarter than even I knew, when I talked with him inside that house."

'Nother city, huh?

"Yea, so what? If 'e was gonna raze cities, he'd've razed this one. 'e barely did anything, considering the massacre we all did. Sorry 'gain, by the way."

She waves 'er hand.

"Just, just forget about that. Those people... My guards are all dead. My superiors are all dead. I'd have to fight this whole city, to make it right. But my oath was TO the city; the people of this city, not to its leadership. I'll even work as the guard captain, again, if you'll let me."

Now's my turn ta be surpris'd. I stop walkin'.

"Hun, I'll tell that to Raiz. We're fightin' a losin' battle out on the west front, 'n I'll tell ya— you ran the tightest ship I ever did see. Only somethin' as absurd as Pure Evil was 'nough to poke a singl' hole in yo' guard. I know, 'cause I spent a quarter my life watchin' for holes. Not a one. You were a real thorn in our side, yanno? I'd be real glad to have ya on our side 'stead of in it."

"My experience is exactly why I recognize just how dangerous it is to let Pure Evil roam unfettered. He's not just smart; the things he does, they don't immediately make sense. This whole time, you all thought I was on his side—"

"Ya just offer'd to make yaself guard captain, hun, after ya basically did 'im a huge favor by helpin' 'im remove tha city's 'riginal leadership. The form'r mayor would'a never bow'd ta him, no matter what, and those 'ficials were mostly loyal fools who'da sided with tha mayor too. So, whether ya claim it was 'tentional 'er not... We aaalll think yer on 'is side, me 'ncluded. It's jus'— we don' care. We ain't got the RAGHT to care in fron' of an absolute horror like 'im."

She takes a deep breath.

"Right. I see your point. But, if I am to guard this city, I must first ensure the entire nation doesn't fall around it. He's just that dangerous."

My eyes open wide. Information like thus don' come 'round but once in a lifetime.

"Is tha' yer opinion 'er yer standin' orders?"

She shows me 'nother tee-oh'd look.

"Take it however you want. By your own words, he went from hapless kaizen to defacto lord of Achiton in a single day. We... We need help. And maybe not from the capital. They might already be under his watch."

I smile broadly. Ah, ya think you're sooo clever. Puttin' this woman here so you can use my information network ta cause 'nother revolt. Heh, but some things won' work out like ya 'spect. You wan' an army? Oh, I can get'cha tha'.

I nod at her while still smilin'.

"Yes, ma'am. I gotchu. I gotchu well 'n good."