LIGHTNOVELONLINE Ch1 - A Child Like Me
1.I have something to say
“You just have to say one thing.”
In the suffocating silence, he opened his mouth.
“That child is my child.”
His heavy voice resonated painfully in her chest.
It felt like a helpless sigh was about to escape, but Jeong Oh kept her mouth tightly shut.
Was he certain, or was he just wanting to believe it? She couldn’t tell what was in his heart.
Her heart, which had always raced towards him, now ached. As she focused her eyes, they grew hot with unshed tears.
“Yena is my daughter.”
Jeong Oh noticed that his gaze, fixed on her, trembled faintly. His voice was filled with desperation and longing.
“Say she’s our daughter.”
When she didn’t answer, he repeated the words with urgency.
It was unclear what emotions he was suppressing deep inside, but even in his hushed tone, his voice rose and fell with intensity.
They all spoke the same words.
As if there was only one answer. As if she must never deny it.
If you just answer me, I will give you everything.
What he didn’t say seemed to fill the air, rubbing against her heart.
She was the one who had endured this, so why was his face contorted?
Jeong Oh gently caressed his cheek. Without realizing it, her hand had moved upward.
But his expression didn’t improve. No, he seemed even angrier.
“Say it.”
He grasped the hand that was tickling his cheek and urged her in a louder voice.
“Say it. Please.”
Who had driven this man mad?
Who had made him so desperate?
Whether the truth or a lie, it seemed he no longer cared.
She had to open her mouth for him.
Her eyes, weighing the gravity of her response, wandered like a lost child.
His desire to have her completely for himself might have led him to a wrong judgment. It could be a dangerous impulse to abandon everything just to hold onto her.
But in truth, she longed for it too.
At twenty-three, she had now turned thirty.
Seven whole years. She wanted this pain to end.
She wanted to be someone who didn’t lie to herself and her daughter.
“Yeah. She’s your child.”
Though she spoke calmly, her voice trailed off.
Uncontrollable emotions broke through, clouding her vision.
“Our… our child.”
She stuttered through the truth.
The truth he wanted.
***
Jung Oh, 23 years old.
Something unimaginable happened to her.
Her hand trembled as she held the pregnancy test.
“This can’t be happening.”
It wasn’t faint, blurred lines; it was two distinct lines, as if drawn with a marker.
Outside, the day was sunny, but it felt like a storm was raging inside her home.
Something truly impossible was happening.
“This can’t be true…”
Her voice trembled with tears.
“This can’t happen…”
She had only been slightly concerned that ‘that day’ was late. Just a bit of nausea and increased drowsiness had seemed strange.
To settle her uneasy stomach, she impulsively bought a test at the pharmacy.
When she paid and left the pharmacy, she thought it was just unnecessary worry.
After seeing the result, Jeong Oh found herself groaning in despair and went out again.
She headed to another pharmacy and emptied her wallet to buy three more tests.
“Please, let that last one have been defective!”
But her wishes went unfulfilled. All the tests showed the same result.
Jeong Oh pulled at her hair. She wanted to cry.
She had no idea that she’d been drinking just a couple of days ago!
“No! That’s not the problem right now!”
It felt like her insides were splitting in two, arguing with each other.
Stay calm. I need to stay calm.
Jeong Oh took a slow, deep breath, placing her hand gently on her chest.
They had dated for six months. Both she and he were each other’s first love. Actually, she didn’t really know much about him.
Jeong Ji-heon, twenty-six years old. A senior in the business department at K University. He was about to graduate and was supposed to start working. He hadn’t decided which company he would join yet. His father owned a snack factory. That was about all she knew about him.
Jeong Oh first met him one day while she was in Australia on a working holiday, starving for two days and crying in front of a Korean market. He lent her 20 dollars because she didn’t have money for food. That was how they began to keep in touch and met again after she returned to Korea.
Jeong Oh absolutely trusted him, knowing well that he was a good man. Even if he hesitated to talk about family, she believed there must be a reason for it.
“My dad doesn’t come home often. In 26 years, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve faced him.”
Thinking back, he had said something like that before. Perhaps that was why. After realizing that he, like her, had his own deficiencies, Jeong Oh stopped asking him about his past.
Still, there were no problems in their relationship. Their love was in the present tense, and it was happy.
The past six months had been filled with happiness. There was no room for anything else.
He didn’t express his feelings much with words, but other than that, he was an incredible man. He was handsome, kind, polite, considerate… She could attach every good description to him.
He was also very diligent about contraception. As far as Jeong Oh knew, that was true.
‘…Wasn’t it?’
She felt lost.
Jeong Oh recalled the way he had looked at her, his eyes burning as if trying to bind her. Every time the day approached, it always turned out the way he wanted.
Had all his passion been safe? Was he perfect?
“Then what is this result supposed to mean?”
She wanted to deny the result. But if she denied it, it meant something else was wrong with her body. If it was something other than pregnancy, that would be a big deal too.
‘First, I should go to the hospital. I’ll get it checked accurately, and then I’ll tell oppa.’
But do I have to go alone? I’m scared.
If I say I’m here to check if I’m pregnant without being married, won’t everyone look at me strangely?
How much will the hospital fee be? I’m a student, I don’t have any money.
“Ahhh… what do I do?”
Jeong Oh flopped down on her desk.
What should I say to oppa?
If I ask him to go to the hospital with me, will he come?
What if he gets angry and says, “How could this happen?”
“No, why would he get angry! It’s your mistake! Oppa, it’s your fault!”
Suddenly sitting up straight, Jeong Oh pointed an accusatory finger at the absent oppa.
She hadn’t even told him yet, and he hadn’t gotten angry. Worrying about something that hadn’t happened yet was her long-standing habit.
What should I do going forward? I’m only twenty-three.
“What time is it? Ah!”
Amid her anguish, the time for their appointment was fast approaching. Jeong Oh hurriedly got dressed and left the house again.
The appointment was at 5 PM.
It was an awkward distance to take a taxi to the subway station. She didn’t want to run either. For some reason, she felt like she should take it easy.
Still, she walked quickly and arrived at the subway station at 5:10.
She saw Ji-heon standing blankly in front of the station. Even from a distance, he was easy to recognize. His extraordinary physique made her think he could be a model, subtly attracting the attention of those around him.
That’s my boyfriend!
Honestly, his looks were impressive to the point of being burdensome. There were times when holding hands while walking on the street made her feel the intense stares of onlookers. It didn’t make her feel small, but sometimes, in a joking manner, she would tease him, saying that he was prettier than her. Would it be too much to ask him to be a little less pretty?
He would respond without changing his expression.
“What are you talking about? You’re way prettier.”
As if comparing herself to him was even remotely fair.
She knew he wasn’t just saying nice things to please others; it was pure, 100% sincerity.
Feeling both worried and happy because it seemed like he was under some kind of spell, Jeong Oh smiled. It’s instinctual to want to look pretty for someone you love.
Jeong Oh’s steps slowed as she spotted Ji-heon. As soon as Ji-heon noticed her, he moved toward her.
“Sorry. Did you wait long?”
As Ji-heon approached, Jeong Oh asked him, but he didn’t answer her question. Instead, he quickly buttoned up his coat.
“Why are you dressed like that?”
Without hesitation, he took off his coat and draped it over her shoulders.
The shock of the pregnancy test had made her forget to dress warmly. It was only then that Jeong Oh realized she was wearing a light autumn coat.
With swift movements, Ji-heon slipped her arms into the coat’s sleeves.
His shirt tightened around his broad shoulders and firm chest.
“I have my own style, you know.”
As he dressed her like a snowman in his clothes, Jeong Oh whined a bit. No matter what, Ji-heon continued to fasten the buttons.
Normally, she might have stubbornly refused, but today, for some reason, she wanted to feel warm.
Wearing a coat that was too big for her, she looked as if she had wrapped herself in a blanket. Seeing her like that seemed to satisfy him, as he subtly smiled.
“What is this?”
“You look good in it.”
Though it seemed like he was teasing her, Jeong Oh couldn’t complain any further. When he smiled with an appearance reminiscent of a high school first love, she couldn’t find the words.
But she still needed to say something.
“Shall we go eat?”
“Ah, no!”
Jeong Oh slightly panicked and shook her head at Ji-heon’s first question. The sight of food in front of her made her stomach churn. Seeing the two lines on the test made it feel even heavier.
“You’re not eating?”
“Yeah.”
The smile that had melted her heart faded. Ji-heon furrowed his brows, examining her condition.
Seeing her reject the food she loved clearly indicated something was wrong with her, and his face showed his conclusion.
A large hand, almost covering her entire face, came closer and gently pressed against her forehead.
Judging by her body, which was warm even against the cold early winter wind, Ji-heon immediately changed his plan.
“Let’s go. I’ll take you home.”
He had concluded that she was unwell.
Ji-heon’s fingers interlocked firmly with Jeong Oh’s slender fingers. As their hands touched, they gradually absorbed each other’s warmth.
The comforting sensation of being filled with his warmth began to wash away Jeong Oh’s anxiety.
In the densely packed one-room village, the sun set as they walked home. When they reached her house, Ji-heon let go of her hand.
“Go inside quickly.”
“I’ll go in and come back out.”
“No, you look tired. Hurry and go rest.”
“No! I’m not tired at all. I feel great!”
With her face flushed, Jeong Oh raised her voice, denying her condition.
“I need to go inside because I have something to do.”
He smiled warmly but made another excuse.
“What’s going on?”
“Hey! Jeong Oh!”
The moment she threw the question at him, a guy from a distance called Jeong Oh’s name.
“Sunbae!”
Turning her head, Jeong Oh responded to the man, a senior from her department who lived nearby.
Ji-heon frowned and turned to look as well.
Ji-heon, standing next to Jeong Oh, became invisible as the approaching man ruffled Jeong Oh’s hair.
“Hey, how come you’ve been MIA for almost a month?”
With the man’s annoying behavior, Ji-heon raised his hand. Luckily, the man withdrew his hand before Ji-heon could intervene.
“Been busy?”
“Yeah. I’ve been a bit busy.”
“Busy dating?”
The man teased Jeong Oh lightly. As Ji-heon’s eyes hardened, Jeong Oh felt embarrassed. While she was biting her lip, the man finally noticed Ji-heon’s fierce gaze and quickly stepped back.
“Enjoy your date, and let’s grab a meal sometime later.”
The man nodded at Ji-heon and immediately left.
After the man left, the air became awkward for a moment. Feeling like she needed to explain, Jeong Oh cautiously opened her mouth.
“He’s a senior from my department who lives nearby.”
“Let’s go up.”
He changed his mind again. Just a moment ago, he had said he would just leave. Then he claimed he had something to do.
Even though Jeong Oh wanted to talk quietly with him, she nodded in agreement.
But for some reason, her steps up the stairs felt heavy.
The weighty footsteps following her made her feel as if they were about to engulf her, and Jeong Oh moved slowly.
Eventually, they reached the third floor.
Jeong Oh’s slender fingers unlocked the door, and with a quiet click, the front door opened.
In a cozy space of about four pyeong, it felt like a storm had hit multiple times today.
Without fail, Ji-heon hugged her shoulders from behind.
Even though she knew a storm was coming, Jeong Oh couldn’t help but let out a small gasp.
“I’m cold.”
“……”
“I’ll warm you up.”
As he unbuttoned the coat I had put on, he leaned in close and whispered softly, as if he might nibble my ear. His breath soon traveled to my nape.
When the thick coat I had worn slipped to the floor, he turned my body toward him.
I felt my mind go hazy, captivated by the intensity of his gaze that seemed to erase all my thoughts.
As I moved my head, his sharp jawline became prominent.
The dim light created sharp shadows that imprinted on my eyes. It hurt to look at him.
I tried to step back and create some distance, but he quickly filled the gap. My feet slipped, and before I knew it, I found myself sitting on the bed. It seemed I had inadvertently led him to the bed.
He filled my vision, his face wearing a faint smile as he leaned down toward me.
A determined breath flowed smoothly into my mouth. It was gentle in pace but not devoid of heat. The warmth of his breath made my eyes water, and I lowered my eyelids. Just holding onto my racing heart felt overwhelming.
Neither my body, gaze, nor voice could escape him.
I always fell for him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
What should I do?
Still, I had to say something.
“W-wait…”
I couldn’t overpower him physically. I had never tried to.
“Wait…”
Just as I barely escaped his kiss, I spoke again. My breath, heavy with heat, burst forth in a soft voice.
His eyebrows slightly furrowed as I momentarily halted my attempt.
My wet lips glistened, and his gaze was fixed there.
As if urging me to speak.
I licked my heated lips and slowly voiced my thoughts.
“I… I have something to tell you.”
My heart raced for a different reason now.
What expression will you have now?