With My Profound Love, I Offer to the Years

Chapter 40

Shen Nian and Lu Lingchuan went to the home-style restaurant across the street together. There were quite a few people, but luckily, they found an available table in the corner that had just been cleaned and disinfected after the previous customers left.

Lu Lingchuan scanned the QR code on the table with his phone to order dishes, selecting a few items, then very naturally handed his phone to Shen Nian.

This restaurant had been open for many years. Most people nowadays like spicy food, and some dishes taste better the spicier they are. But Shen Nian didn't like food that's too spicy and couldn't take it. This restaurant specially catered to people like Shen Nian with lighter tastes.

Dishes that don't contain spices usually don't have much flavor, but this restaurant was able to make many tasty non-spicy dishes.

When Shen Nian and Lu Lingchuan were dating, they often came to this restaurant to eat. Shen Nian especially liked their tomato fish soup. No other restaurant could make tomato soup like theirs. Shen Nian liked adding some minced beef and celery to the bowl, then pouring the tomato soup over it. She could drink two to three bowls.

Shen Nian took Lu Lingchuan's phone. Out of habit, she first checked what Lu Lingchuan had ordered after opening the shopping cart.

When she touched the menu, Shen Nian's finger on the screen shook slightly.

Naturally, the first item was their signature tomato fish soup. Below were some side dishes he had ordered - minced celery, minced beef, and an extra portion of bean sprouts.

In recent years, Shen Nian had developed the habit of adding some bean sprouts to the tomato fish soup. Eating the tender fish with crunchy bean sprouts was absolute bliss.

Lu Lingchuan still remembered her preferences and habits...

No.

After just a second, Shen Nian denied her guess, a hint of deep self-deprecation flashing through her eyes.

How...how could it be that he remembers her preferences...

It was just that after eating it for so many years, it had become a habit of his as well.

In the past, Lu Lingchuan often ate with her like this. After such a long time, it became a habit.

Plus, the tomato fish soup was this restaurant's signature dish. Anyone who came to eat here would order this dish. It was nothing.

It was nothing...

Shen Nian tried hard to calm her restless heart and steady herself. Her finger gently slid across the screen to order other dishes.

Actually, Lu Lingchuan had already ordered everything she wanted to eat. But Shen Nian still ordered something else.

Lamb rolls. Lamb...

Actually, Shen Nian didn't like eating lamb at all. Not one bit.

When it came to lamb, she had an extremely sensitive sense of smell. No matter how well the chef prepared it, she could detect a strong mutton smell and flavor from the first bite.

In the past, whenever she saw the character for "lamb," she would avoid it like the plague. But now...

She had changed. He had changed too. Everything had changed, right?

After pressing "submit order," Shen Nian gave the phone back to Lu Lingchuan.

Lu Lingchuan took the phone and glanced at the order. When he saw the lamb rolls, his gaze paused momentarily.

Placing the phone on the table next to them, he stared at her and asked, "You really like that cat."

It was a statement, not a question.

After being together for so many years, Lu Lingchuan knew her as well as he knew himself.

From her expression earlier, it was obvious she really liked that little cat, yet she refused to let him pay for it.

"..." Shen Nian held a glass of water the server had poured when they sat down. Hearing Lu Lingchuan's words, her eyelashes fluttered. She took a small sip of the hot water and responded in a very soft voice, "Mm, it's okay."

"Then why didn't you want it?" He gazed at her, a hint of earnestness and persistence flashing through his eyes. He was determined to get a satisfactory answer.

She clearly liked that little cat a lot, yet was unwilling to buy it and take it home.

Clearly...clearly she still loved him, yet was unwilling to bravely take that one step without regard for anything and...be with him.

"..." Originally, Shen Nian didn't want to answer, but she could clearly feel that intense, scorching gaze fixed upon her.

She took a deep breath, raised her head to meet the man's earnest eyes, and pulled her lips into a smile. "Although it was just a cat, it is still a life. I'm very clear that I cannot provide a good life for it."

Someone like her whose own life was a complete mess, when would she have the time and patience to care for such a vulnerable little life?

"Without me, it can choose a better owner and life." Following her would only lead to a bad life.

"Ah...ah..." The cries of a baby sitting nearby interrupted the rather weighty atmosphere at this table. Lu Lingchuan glanced sideways and spotted a family of three. The young couple seemed to be new parents.

The girl had tied her hair in a ponytail and was heartily tucking into her meal, while her husband sat across from her.

The man was cradling a seven to eight month old baby wearing a panda onesie. Standing on the man's lap, the tiny toddler was excitedly bouncing around ceaselessly, all the while babbling, "Ah ah ah."

As a new dad, the man had placed his hands under the restless little one's armpits, trying hard to keep the hyper tot under control, but to no avail.

And so Lu Lingchuan witnessed this scene -

The baby dribbled while bouncing around energetically. Amusement shone in the new father's helpless eyes, while no impatience could be detected. Sitting opposite them, the new mother watched the comical scene unfold, giggling at her flustered husband's expense.

Such a simple...yet warm and touching scene.

Lu Lingchuan stared at them, a hint of longing appearing in his eyes for the first time.

In the next moment, the abortion certificate he had glimpsed in Shen Nian's bag emerged in his mind. He felt like he'd been dealt a heavy blow, instantly sobering up.

His lips twisted into an extremely pained smile.

In her previous response about why she didn't want the cat, Shen Nian had also answered why she didn't want...the baby.

Because she couldn't provide the life it deserved, so she didn't want it.

The baby...

"..."

This word was taboo to them both. Ever since the day Lu Lingchuan saw Shen Nian's abortion certificate, they had never broached the topic again.

Like a nail embedded in their flesh, it hurt terribly whether pulled out or even just touched.

So they could only try their utmost to ignore that lingering ache.

After finishing her explanation without getting a response from Lu Lingchuan, Shen Nian followed his gaze. Catching just a glimpse, she froze.

A child. A family of three...

Such a simple life was what Shen Nian had been yearning for even in her dreams. She didn't need great wealth or a spectacular, unforgettable saga.

From before, what she had always wished for was this kind of ordinary, tranquil life.

To find a man she loved, have an adorable, well-behaved child, and then...just live out the rest of their lives peacefully like this.

But even such a simple desire felt extravagant to Shen Nian.

She had found a man she loved deeply, yet they couldn't be together.

She and Lu Lingchuan had been pregnant twice, yet were unable to keep the babies due to various reasons...

Lu Lingchuan's stepsister Lu Lingrui's fate binding them was Shen Nian's shackle, and also Lu Lingchuan's shackle.

There's a saying - it's easier to give advice as an outsider than take it as the person involved.

As the parties involved, they could only remain deeply entrenched unable to break free. Nor could they cast it all off...