Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty Nine – Renn – A Warmly Cold Morning
Vim took the cup from me, and handed me the bowl of porridge in return.
It was warm and steaming a little. I took a deep breath of it, and was glad that I could finally smell it. It smelled very good, and reminded me I was starving.
Yet I still didn’t take a bite. Not yet. I waited until Vim returned to sitting next to the bed, holding a now full glass of the berry smoothie.
Smiling at him, I tilted my head at him. “Sorry Vim,” I apologized.
Vim at first seemed to ignore me, and then he reached over. I went still as he brushed my long hair away from the bowl in my hands. Some had almost fallen in.
“For what Renn?” he asked once he got most of my hair behind my back.
“You had wanted to rest here. Sorry I ruined your chance,” I said.
He sighed at me, which told me he didn’t think my apology had any reason to be given. “This is resting, to a point. Plus we’ll be here a while more yet. We’ll wait here for a bit before continuing on, both to make sure you’re okay but also so you’re not contagious when we go to see the weaver,” Vim said.
“Contagious…” I mumbled the word, and my stomach yelled at me. It was tired of waiting and forced my hand to grab the spoon and get to work.
Eating slowly, I chewed the small clumps of meat and vegetables, and wondered why Vim made such nasty stuff if he was able to make normal stuff just as easily. Not that his nasty stuff was… not edible, I guess. It tasted good, but the smell was usually really bad. It made it hard to actually enjoy it.
A rising sun was trying to peer through the shutters. Vim had told me another storm would be reaching us soon, likely before the day was over, but it already smelled as if it was here. The smell of fresh rain and cold wind was strong.
“A week? Really?” I asked as I chewed.
“Really,” Vim said stiffly.
Hm… It honestly didn’t feel as if I’d been sleeping that long. I mean, I felt hungry enough to justify it, but…
Glancing at Vim, I slowed in my eating as I studied his look. He looked upset… not so much at me, but just in general. He looked worried. It reminded me of the look he had back in Lumen, while sitting on that weirdly tiny stool in the hallway. While waiting for Fly and her people to show up.
I didn’t like that look on him. It usually meant something bad was about to happen, or had.
“I feel rested and fine. I could have sworn we were just talking a few minutes ago, though,” I told him. I remembered him feeding me. And me telling him about how much I cherished him, though I couldn’t remember his response.
“That really was four days ago Renn,” Vim said gently.
Huh… maybe fevers always did that. The few times I’d been this sick before, was usually when I was alone. So…
And the one time I had been with someone, with the witch, she had used her magic to heal me. So it hadn’t lasted as long, or in such a way.
“If it’s been that long has anyone grown suspicious?” I asked. I remembered him mentioning something about the humans here. Something about how they might grow upset if they found out if I was sick. And would then do something drastic because of it.
“The innkeepers know. But they’re too afraid to do anything. They don’t even come out of their section of the inn anymore,” Vim said.
“Were you mean to them?” I asked as I continued to eat.
“Only a little,” he admitted.
I sighed at him, but knew better than to be surprised.
At least he hadn’t done something severe…
As I ate I glanced over at the fireplace nearby. Vim had strung up most of my clothes near it, telling me he had recently washed them. I understood why of course, since I felt kind of grimy. I needed a bath… but I could tell I should be feeling a lot worse than I did.
“Did you wipe me down?” I asked.
“Hm? Yes,” Vim nodded without a hint of shame.
Somehow that made me blush. “Really?”
“Yeah? Sweat is a good thing but it’ll just make it worse if you don’t wipe it off eventually when sick. Especially when it’s humid like this. It’ll make it hard for your body to regulate your temperature and…” Vim went quiet after a moment, and smiled at me. “What?” he asked after a moment.
“Thank you,” I said warmly.
Vim’s expression softened and he gestured for me to return to eating. “Eat it before it gets cold Renn. And I thought you’d complain instead.”
Taking a bite I nodded. “It’s upsetting I wasn’t awake for it, I guess,” I said with a mouthful.
“Right? You’ll never know what kind of expression I had when I did it,” he teased me.
Giggling at him, I debated telling him that I likely knew full well what kind of expression had been on his face.
But didn’t, since it would have only ruined the small happy moment we were experiencing.
Bringing up that terrified and worried expression now would only make his smile die. Which would make my own fade.
There was no point in saying aloud what was obvious.
After swallowing another bite, I reached for the glass in his hand. He dutifully handed it over, and I quickly gulped down more than half of it.
With a heavy sigh, I felt the wonderful taste of the berry sludge fill me. “I wish I had a pot full of this instead,” I said.
“In a way you do,” he said.
“Hm…? Is there that much?” I asked. Really?
He frowned at me. “Why wouldn’t there be?” he asked.
“Didn’t you buy this?” I asked as I glanced into the glass. It looked, and tasted, real good. Usually it was sold in wooden cups though not glass ones.
“No? Or well, I guess. I bought the ingredients, yes, but…” he then pointed to the fireplace. To the small table littered with pots and cups, and bowls and plates.
“Oh…? Wait… you made this?” I asked as I turned the glass a little.
“Yeah…? Why? Does it taste bad? It tasted fine to me,” he said worriedly.
I shook my head quickly. “It tastes great…! But… that means you could make these all along? Really?” I asked angrily.
“Well… It’s not like they’re hard to make, Renn,” he said gently.
Quickly drinking the rest, I pushed the glass out to him. He sighed and nodded, taking it and standing away from his chair. He went over to the table, to refill the glass for me.
Smiling at him, I went back to eating my porridge as he poured some more of the delightful drink into my glass.
“Your fever broke last night. I actually expected you to wake up then, honestly. But I think you had nightmares, about halfway through the fever you started really rolling and moving in your sleep. Once you had even almost fallen off the bed,” he said.
“Hm…? I don’t remember any nightmares,” I said as he returned to sitting next to me and the bed.
He nodded. “That’s good.”
“Did you catch me?” I asked him as he handed me the freshly filled glass of my favorite drink.
He smirked at me. “Rather you slapped me. You rolled over and bumped into me, then slapped me as if upset I was in the way,” he said.
Laughing at him, I wondered if that meant…
Then I stopped wondering about it, since it was obvious.
He had sat there. On that chair, next to me this whole time.
For some reason that knowledge really made me feel warm inside. Almost as warm as the things on my lap.
Lifting the bowl, which was now almost empty, I stared at the glowing pink orb.
“Think it helped?” I asked.
“Very likely did, yes. Your fever’s gone, you’re already coherent, and your hunger has hit with a vengeance. Most people, humans and not, would still be too weak to even sit up let alone scarf down a whole bowl,” he said as he offered to take the nearly empty bowl from me.
“It’s about to be a second here in a moment,” I said with a smirk.
He nodded as he went to fill it back up too.
As he did I rolled the heart along my lap a little, rolling it around. “How does a heart help like that… like this? I thought they were dangerous,” I asked.
“They are. Their energy is pure, and it’s toxic to those unable to house it. But by being near such a pure heart, like Miss Beak’s, you’ll benefit a little from the energy they give off. They radiate it… that heat you feel from them isn’t actual warmth, but their energy,” he said as he messed with the pot hanging over the fire.
“Still… how though? Why does this energy help?” I asked as I lifted it, to stare into the orb. It wasn’t easy, since it was so bright inside it.
“The energy is… pure, as I mentioned. It’s the same energy that Saints use to perform their miracles. Their magic, as you call it. Their healing abilities are just them channeling this energy in a way that pinpoints an injury or wound. We can’t do that, since neither you or I are a Saint, and I don’t want you trying to absorb the heart if we can avoid it… so our only way to use it is the way we’re doing so. Its efficiency is very minimal when just near you, but it’s still the energy of a god. So it still has an effect on the world around it,” Vim explained as he returned to sitting next to me.
Handing me the newly filled bowl of food, I nodded as I handed him the glass in return. It was empty again.
Vim didn’t even sigh as he stood back up, to refill it again.
Going to devouring the second bowl, I studied the man who was patiently and happily playing nursemaid.
“Why can’t you use it Vim?” I asked him between mouthfuls.
For a moment he was quiet, and then he shifted a little. I noticed the way his shoulder moved, telling me had done his little rolling of a shoulder thing. The fact I noticed made me smile. He really was a man full of tendencies. His age really had to be a factor for it. So many countless years had reduced him to a man of few actions and words, in a way.
After a few more moments of silence, I decided to ask a different question. It seemed this was one of the ones he wasn’t ready to answer yet. Not even to me, who had almost died, and was still stuck in bed while sick.
“Would it help other people too, Vim? Say… those with scars? Or injuries? What about Tosh? Would it heal missing limbs? What about the young boy that recently died, at Secca? Riz’s brother. Would it have helped him?” I asked.
“It might have. A heart alone, outside, wouldn’t heal a missing limb… but if absorbed properly, then yes. It might re-grow one, similar to what happens to me. Though not anywhere near as quickly,” Vim said as he returned to my side, holding the glass patiently as I continued to eat.
“Why didn’t you bring one to the boy then?” I asked.
“They hadn’t wanted to risk it. I offered to either bring one, or take him somewhere where he could potentially get help. Neither he nor his family permitted it. They felt the risk too great,” Vim said gently.
My spoon lowered, dropping lightly into the bowl that was nearly empty again. “They refused…?” I asked softly.
He nodded. “They did.”
“But… why?”
Vim’s eyes softened as he held my own. “Some people aren’t brave enough, Renn. Some people don’t trust what they don’t understand. Some just… give up,” he said.
“And you… being who you are, didn’t force it,” I whispered.
He nodded.
I gulped, and not because I had anything to swallow. “Vim…” I groaned.
“I’ll not force my will on anyone Renn. Not even if it’ll save their life,” he said.
“I wish you would.”
He smiled at me. “So do I… sometimes.”
“Then why not?”
“We’ve talked of this,” he said.
“Would you let me die, then?” I asked him.
Vim opened his mouth, to say something that would have likely broken my heart… but then he stopped himself. He frowned, and his eyebrows knitted closer as he suddenly went into contemplation.
My heart began to thump quickly, as I realized I had just made this very old and very stoic man realize he had very likely been breaking his own rules.
Woops.
He reached up, cupping his mouth as his eyes narrowed and lowered. Suddenly very deep in thought, I wanted to groan as my tail squirmed beneath the covers covering my legs. My tail curled and coiled near my right foot, suddenly very itchy.
“This is where I give explicit permission to you, huh? Well from now on Vim, please don’t hesitate to ever do anything you need to, okay?” I said gently, trying to not sound too rushed and bothered. Hopefully he didn’t notice how stiff my voice had sounded.
Vim then blinked, and then smiled at me. “I appreciate that… but that’s not how it works, Renn.”
“Says who? I’m giving you permission. Here and now,” I said.
“Says me. But… yes… I’ll admit I thought of it. In fact I had thought of it and had your situation worsened… I would have done something. Without your permission,” he said softly.
“Hm…? What? Wipe my body? Vim please, I’ve been trying to get you to touch me for over a year now and…” I started to tease him, but Vim shook his head… and didn’t even smirk or smile at me.
“I had debated putting the heart inside of you. To save you,” he then said.
Oh… “But Vim, I’d have been okay with that if that was what it would have taken,” I said.
“Yes. I’m sure. But I didn’t have your permission. Not yet.”
“Your rules are very weird Vim,” I said softly.
“I know. And many contradict each other. And more than a few I even try my best to circumvent and use loopholes against all the time, so even I know they’re wrong,” Vim said with a sigh.
Giggling at him, I reached over to pat his thigh. “I forgive you.”
“Hmph.”
“Still… should I try, Vim?” I asked as I glanced at the heart once more.
“No. Especially not right now. You’re still sick Renn, even if you feel a lot better.”
“Yes. But I mean… later?” I asked.
“No.”
I grumbled, and put the idea away. For now. Maybe I could convince him to try another day.
After all… I’d need to, wouldn’t I? Someday?
He had said it granted a longer life. A healthier one. Keeping one younger, for longer.
That meant someday I would need such a thing. If I wanted to stay with him longer than not.
“Do different hearts do different things? Or are they all basically the same?” I asked.
“They do the same thing to those who are near them, or absorb them. But once you absorb them completely, those who fully adapt to them… become a Monarch themselves, basically. It's very rare but they can sometimes also gain their abilities. For instance if Landi perfectly absorbs the heart we just gave her, she’ll be able to use that toxic trait. Or whatever original ability the god which created that Monarch’s bloodline bestowed on them… Though how it’ll manifest…” Vim shook his head and shrugged, “No idea.”
“Wait… you can get their abilities?” I asked.
He nodded. “Under the right circumstances. It’s very rare though.”
“What was hers?” I asked as I lifted the heart.
“Miss Beak, like her parents, had been able to produce intense heat. The kind that could melt even steel,” Vim said.
“Huh… seems like an odd ability for a bird,” I said.
“It was. The salt-flat she lived in was basically made that way. When I fought her parents, they quite literally melted the entire region. Turning what had been a chain of mountains into a giant pool of slag. That all eventually hardened, and the minerals that remained formed the flat layer of earth which you saw,” Vim said.
I gulped at him.
He… had fought that? And survived…?
“Most Monarchs though don’t have such grandiose abilities. The ones who had such things died first. I made certain of it,” Vim then said.
Squeezing the heart in my hand, I wished I could somehow look into Vim’s mind. As if to see his memories, or thoughts.
I could only imagine the things he saw or knew.
“Why’d you hunt Monarchs for anyway, Vim?” I asked.
He blinked, and then frowned at me. “Next question, Renn,” he said gently.
Oh. Right. Okay…
“Uhm… Do you want some porridge too?” I asked, lifting the bowl a little. Even though it was basically empty now.
He smiled at me. “I’m fine. Would you like more?” he asked.
“For now I want more of that,” I said as I reached for the glass in his hands.
We swapped, but this time Vim didn’t get up to refill the bowl. Seemed he knew I wasn’t ready for another bowl just yet.
Taking a drink, I studied the way Vim stared at me. He looked relieved… but also tired. Maybe his relief that I was okay had made his tiredness return to the forefront of his mind.
“Are there baths here Vim?” I asked.
“No. I’ve looked around for a large barrel or bucket, but can’t seem to find one. So I can either just get enough water, and warm it for you, and you can wipe down or I can go make a bathtub for you real quick if you’d like.”
I giggled at him. “You really would make one for me wouldn’t you?”
He frowned. “Yeah…? Want me to?”
Shaking my head, I wondered why he was so… eccentric sometimes. Or maybe to him, making a whole bathtub was not that big a deal. Likely it wasn’t but… still…
It wasn’t like we could take it with us. Which meant he’d make an entire tub just for me. For this singular use.
Such a thing warmed my heart, but made me wish he realized how odd he was sometimes. Normal people wouldn’t think like that.
“I’m sorry that I worried you, Vim,” I said gently.
He blinked at me, and then smiled. “You had. But it’s okay. It reminded me how powerless I really am. I need to be smacked down like that sometimes.”
Chuckling at him, I rolled Beak’s heart lightly. Making it roll off my lap, and in-between my legs. “Powerless. Sure.”
“I am. I fed you some medicine but I doubt it helped much. Your own body, and the heart, is what kept you alive,” he said.
Hm… I wanted to argue with him, but decided not to. “Have you really never been sick, Vim?”
He nodded. “Not like you just were. I get something like a fever sometimes, when I receive a lot of damage and am healing… but it’s from my own body fighting itself as it heals. Not because I’m actually sick,” he said.
“Huh…”
“Probably should have asked before you drank so much of that junk, but mind showing me your tongue again?” Vim then asked.
Tilting my head at him, I had to ponder a moment to remember what he meant. At first it had sounded so weird. He wanted to see my tongue? Vim did? The man who rarely if ever made a saucy comment or joke?
But then I remembered what had happened before I had fallen asleep before, and went ahead and leaned forward and stuck my tongue out for him again.
He leaned forward as well, and went to looking into my mouth… for whatever he was searching for.
After a moment he nodded and leaned back.
“What do you look for?” I asked, and went to take a drink. My mouth felt dry now.
“Signs of infection, or the plague or some kind of pox. Some diseases make these marks, or ulcers, in the mouth. Yours is a little red right now, thanks to that slop, but it looks fine. By the way did you know your wisdom teeth look flat? Did you break them? Do they hurt?” he asked.
“My teeth…? No…?” I ran my tongue along them. Which ones was he talking about?
“Then it’s fine. Might have been from a blow, or just from time. You don’t grind your teeth much in your sleep but over the many years I guess it could happen,” he said, letting it be.
A little worried now, I wondered if maybe my mouth, or teeth, had looked funny. “Do they look weird…? I know they’re a little pointier than normal compared to at least human teeth… but…” I ran my tongue once more along them all.
“They’re fine. They’re sharp yes, but you’re not a human Renn so it’s to be expected. Rather I find them to be adorable. They give your unique smile even more personality,” he said.
Smiling for him, I fluttered my ears. “Unique smile?” I asked.
“That’s the one,” he said and smiled back.
Wonder what made it so unique to him. Hopefully that didn’t mean my smile was weird to everyone else…
“Would you like to eat more Renn? Your stomach hasn’t gurgled lately, but…” Vim then asked.
“Hm… no…” I returned my attention to the glass of berry goodness. There wasn’t much left. I quickly drank the rest, and breathed out a tiny sigh afterward.
For a few moments I sat there, staring at the slowly growing brighter room. The sun was rising, and the world was growing warmer. Usually by now I’d be hearing the beginning of the day. People talking, and walking. Dogs barking. People making noises as they moved stuff, or banged metal.
Yet the world was oddly quiet. Other than a few chirps from birds occasionally… there wasn’t much else.
“If it did this to me Vim… what will it do to our weaker members…?” I asked softly.
“You already know, Renn,” Vim said.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and held it in for a moment.
I did. I did know.
And…
Glancing down at the pink orb, I wondered how much of a difference it had made. If Vim was right… and it really had made a large difference, and kept me from succumbing… then…
Without such help, our weaker members were even less likely to survive.
“Should we have punished Landi?” I asked, doubting all of my choices.
“We should have. But punishing her would not have changed the outcome Renn. We got rid of the source… so the disease won’t be able to continue spreading without recourse. But now it needs to run its course naturally. It’ll spread everywhere, or won’t. Once summer ends and winter comes will be the real test. Winter is when such things become more deadly, usually,” he said.
“Is… is there anything we can do? Can we at least warn them?” I asked.
“Those who can make a difference, like the Chronicler and Brandy, already know about the plague. Though they hadn’t known how bad it was before we left, by now they undoubtedly do. They’ll begin measures to keep our members safe. The Society has gone through many plagues Renn. This isn’t the first. Though… I’ll admit it’s the first one from a Monarch in… well… maybe even the entirety of the Societies existence, at least,” he said.
“Didn’t you say you could make a cure?” I asked. I thought he had said such a thing before, when we had been quarantining outside of Landi’s capital.
“I can, yes. But it requires a risky method, and can’t be done by person but by group. Basically we’d need to infect a large swath of a population with a minor version of the disease, so they can face a weakened type of it. Then once they overcome it, as you have, they’ll be immune to the real one. The problem with this method is we’re likely too late. It’s likely already in the north. Plus this disease is from a Monarch. Who knows if such a method will actually work or not,” he said.
“You’d… make them sick on purpose?” I asked, trying to understand.
He nodded. “Think of it like making calluses. So that you don’t hurt your hands or feet anymore. You build up a resistance to it.”
Ah. That did make sense, then.
Though…
I glanced down to my hands and frowned. “My calluses never stay,” I said. I had gained some while working in Secca, but they were gone already. My palms felt smooth.
“I’ve noticed,” he said.
Smiling, I side-glanced him. “Have you? Here I thought we’d not been holding hands enough for you to,” I teased him.
He huffed, but smiled at me.
Enjoying the sight, I reached over to him. He noticed, and at first ignored my outstretched hand, but reluctantly took it in the end.
Grinning at him, I nodded.
He nodded back, and I noticed the way he glanced at my hand in his.
Was he checking for calluses? He was moving his thumb a little oddly…
“Thank you for getting better Renn,” he then whispered.
My toes curled, and I clenched my jaw as I stared at the man who suddenly looked exhausted. As if mere moments from falling over into a deep sleep.
“Vim…” I whispered.
He nodded. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
Blinking watery eyes, I nodded back at him. What did I say to that? What could be said?
He had spoken so purely. So warmly…
To me it had been mere moments. I had been awake, then asleep, then waking up hungry.
But to him it had been many days.
Likely days of fraught and worry.
I’d known that feeling before. It was torture.
And for him… well… For a man who was usually able to do anything… for him this might have been impossibly upsetting.
Because he was so strong… and so wise, when he encountered things he couldn’t do anything about he broke.
I gulped, and squeezed his hand.
A few long moments passed, and luckily the world didn’t seem willing to ruin them. Time simply dragged on… slowly…
Then he took a small breath and nodded. “Would you like me to fetch water Renn? Or more drink and food?” he asked.
Although I did feel a little grimy… right now I felt the tug of something a little more important. My eyes were starting to get droopy.
“I think I’m going to lay down for a bit first…” I said as he held out the now empty glass.
“Hm. You do seem cold,” he said, as our hands separated.
Cold…? Really? The room felt a little warm still, especially with the now bright sunlight pouring in… plus Beak’s heart was still in-between my legs, warming my thighs. Not to mention my own heart was really warm and happy and…
But after a moment of looking at myself, I realized what he meant… and felt the rush of blood warm me even more.
Vim chuckled at me as I quickly laid down, as to hide my embarrassment. And my naked body.
“You should be nicer to me Vim. I’m still sick,” I complained while burying my face into my pillow.
“So I can be mean when you’re not?” he asked as I felt him grab the blankets.
“Well… no…” I mumbled. “But it’s not fair since you don’t get sick. It means I’ll never get to return the favor.”
He hummed as I reached down to find the heart. It had rolled away a little. Once it was in my hands, I re-adjusted myself to get more comfortable.
“Though in a way Rennalee,” Vim said as he pulled the blanket back up over me.
“Hm…?” it wasn’t often he used my full name. For some reason it made my ears twitch to hear him say it.
“You have spread something to me. A sickness in its own form. You can be proud of that and use that as an excuse, if you’d like,” he teased me.
Smiling at him, I reached out to take his hand. He let me, and I enjoyed the small squeeze he gave me. “Flirting while I’m sick isn’t fair, Vim. I’m not up to task.”
He chuckled at me. “Woe the day you will be.”