The hero is now gone, but I’m still here, now what? (Undergoing editing)

The royal suite we were staying on was located on a tower, around the middle floor or so, it wasn’t so high that we could see everything across the school, only enough that when we stood on the suite’s balcony, we were able to see all of Pledge Academy's field- and that’s what I’m doing currently: staring at the massive field before me while doing my best to avoid speaking out or give out any opinion or else Fafnir would continue our prior conversation.

 

I scanned the vast grassland and one by one, noted all the facilities that were familiar to me, all of them were something that the Player could do ingame to increase their stats and there were five facilities in total- Track Fields for Agility, Mud Pits for Constitution, Dummy Dojos for Defense, Archery Ranges for Dexterity, and Training Grounds for Strength/Damage - ingame, there were only one instances of these facilities across the entirety of Pledge Academy but here? They can be found all across the field, with them numbering in the high hundreds.

 

There were other facilities available too, most I hadn’t seen before like the odd, training-ground-esque facility I could spot in the far distance with actual Dummies instead of simple strawmen, or the pools of water reflecting the moonlight in some areas.

 

The Barracks that the infantry students lived in can be found aplenty too, their square-shaped silhouette casting shadows over the darkened field. Some barracks were more pronounced, their locations obvious to me even from a distance.

 

A few of the barracks still had activity around them, I knew this because there were groups of students (most likely freshmen, I know how harsh and exhausting the infantry course can get,) lurking outside of some of them, acting all energetic and partying while surrounding a blazing bonfire- they reminded me of frat kids… I've only seen on TV since I… never actually got to experience college in my past life but maybe I will here?

 

Will I even survive till then?

 

In the corner of my eye, I spotted Fafnir's eyes scanning me and I decided to focus on the partying students: I didn’t know what they were doing- cooking dinner or something? But it's too late for that right? So maybe they really were just partying around… - but they seemed like they were having fun, and when one of them turned their head in my direction, I raised my arm high in the air and waved at them.

 

It wasn't just that particular person that noticed me wave and my gesture got a massive chain reaction across the field, like ants suddenly being splashed with a bit of water, the infantry students started to frolic around, running excitedly and causing a cascade of movement that waved across their numbers.

 

I giggled, “I didn’t know that this will happen,”

 

Did I regret speaking out? No. Honestly, I wanted Fafnir to notice the various infantry students waving at us- if she hasn’t already, which she would unless she's blind or something. 

 

I giggled again when one guy dragged another into a mud pit and started wrestling them, even the mostly tired, inactive, senior infantry students filled barracks were starting to react, some simply giving me a series of small waves before going back inside their cramped dorms, I returned their listless gesture while eyeing the others who went ahead and started their own bonfires, which after a while I realized they weren't doing to party like the rest of the freshmen but to simply sit down and chill around of.

 

Well, the night is peaceful.

 

And also perfect for love I guess- man, people just go to forests for that huh?

 

Also- they better be thankful that Pledge Academy made it's field authentic!

 

Overall though, it’s a nice scene and one that I knew Fafnir would appreciate, and that's why I called it out to her, even when she'll possibly talk to me about my hesitation with teaching the current hero.

 

“It’s because of you,” she said and I only nodded, already expecting something from her, “you’re ready- we're ready.”

 

“No- no we’re not,” I replied without hesitation, far faster than normal too. Holding back a stressful sigh, I looked up at the starlit sky and ran my hand through my silver hair, “you know we’re not ready. Not right now. Not ever.”

 

“You shouldn’t delay her growth,” Fafnir refuted and I sighed, closed my eyes, and then went silent.

 

“... what if she dies?” I eventually said.

 

How long have I kept my eyes closed? I didn't know- but Fafnir was patient enough to wait me out.

 

“She won’t.” Fafnir sounded confident but I- I wasn’t- something hard wrapped around my hand and I opened my eyes to see Fafnir holding it, “we’re here remember? We can help her- you just need to trust yourself and the Hero,”

 

I didn’t know what my expression looked right now but the bitter feelings aching my heart probably twisted it into something ugly- I looked away, “she’ll die,”

 

Fafnir squeezed my hand, “she won’t.” She said, voice resolute. “You can guide her. Trust her. Trust us.”

 

“I- I don’t know,” I stuttered, what if she does die? What if our second chance disappears? What if-

 

“Stop overthinking it, Neo,” Fafnir leaned close and nuzzled my neck, her black hair intertwining with my silver in a mix of black and white. And if she was looking for a reaction from me, she got it when some of the people on the field below us started to whistle and catcall.

 

Why- Ugh! I tried to push her away but it only resulted in me letting out a self-mocking sigh of resignation, “I’ll try,” I leaned into her nuzzle and whispered- it was barely audible but I knew she heard it, if not for her sharp senses then my rather close proximity to her right now.

 

“But I know she isn't ready,” I added, I looked up at the sky, at the various stars lighting it up, at the dark clouds in the distance that promised rain-

 

At… everything, really, it all seemed so vast and so beautiful that it made me feel free of my worries just from looking at it, like none of them mattered in the grand scheme of things.

 

I looked around, trying to spot the series of stars that the “Astral” in my name is supposed to represent and there, in the far east, was a constellation shaped in a perfect circle, this particular series of stars stood alone and distant from other heavenly bodies, with enough blank space surrounding it to distinguish the circular constellation within a sea of their own kin.

 

I eyed the constellation known as Goddess’ Eye, it was said that when I was born, the Constellation glowed and started blinking- I didn’t know if it was real and I quite frankly didn’t care, I just knew that looking at it gave me comfort and that’s enough. More than enough really. Comfort rarely comes to me these days-

 

The purr on my neck brought me back to the present and I giggled, “you know I just thought of something funny,” I said and Fafnir moved her neck to smile up at me, silently gesturing for me to elaborate, “I just thought of something that only old women can think of,”

 

… like me. I didn’t dare say out loud.

 

“Are you old?” Fafnir asked and I reluctantly nodded, I was thirty now, I had lived 14 years in my past life and 16 in this one, I was very much old- “I don't believe you but fine, tell this younger girl all the things you’ve experienced,” she was clearly teasing me but it still felt like I was being mocked.

 

But Fafnir wouldn't do that- of course not-

 

In the end though, with her remaining silent, I tried to find the words to say and I…

 

“I-”

 

Simply didn’t know what to say and at this exact moment, I quickly realized that despite all my thoughts of being old I… didn't know that I would be speechless when asked about it-

 

I frowned, I’ve never really experienced much of anything during both lives have I? And not to mention I'm currently physically young.

 

I met Fafnir’s gaze, what do I tell her? That I've lived two lives? That I spent most of my current life learning how to fight and be a better fighter to save humanity or that I have decided to spend my last one sitting in front of a computer?

 

“I don’t know,” I mumbled in reply.

 

Am I old?..

 

A squeeze in my hand made me focus back on the present… and Fafnir-

 

“look,” she said, pointing towards a group of girls giggling at one another, we both stared, idly watching as they kissed, and Fafnir, unlike what I expected, didn’t say or do anything and simply watched in silence to my… confused disappointment? I didn’t know why I expected her to suddenly kiss me but I… I don’t know- how- I don’t know how to sort out my feelings right now-

 

“Good for them,” I said with a small smile, finally being honest and not thinking about how I feel about saying things for once, does it have something to do with the fact that we're not talking about killi- helping the hero? Probably, but this is still respite regardless of that fact, “it’s great they feel so free that they can kiss like that,”

 

“It’s all thanks to you, you know?” Fafnir said and… I… didn’t think she’s right but- uhm- I faced her and she looked back; an abyss in the form of two onyx eyes shining white under the light of the stars and glossy lips-

 

I squeezed her hand and turned away from her- she's not just 16, she's also a Dragon, what kind of offender would I be if I'd done what I was thinking of just now?!

 

Panicking inside, I calmly said, “thanks, Fafnir.”

 

“Nir.” I tilted my head to look at her, I met her eyes, she didn’t look away and simply repeated what she said, louder this time, “call me Nir.”

 

“Why?” I was doing everything to hold back the giggles rising up my throat- how the hell could she suddenly act like this?! We were so serious and then she just-

 

“Neo.” She called, voice serious.

 

“... fine, thank you, for everything, Nir.” In response, she nuzzled my neck and we both stood there, watching over the groups of infantry students celebrating for the night- this? This was a nice feeling and it's- that’s something that I’m willing to admit.

 

I would've loved to stay like this for the entire night but sadly, like everything else, our tiny, peaceful moment together came to an end and it happened when Fafnir decided she wanted to sleep and I, well, I told her that I wanted to stay here, watch the stars for a while.

 

I didn’t know for how long I stayed but eventually, everything lulled and I started daydreaming- actually it was more like worrying about the various things that’ll happen in the future and those kinds of thoughts stuck themselves in my head for quite a while, time slowly passed like that and eventually, someone made their way to the balcony and stood right next to me.

 

I turned to see Laceresta, “hi,”

 

“I didn’t know you were staying here,” was the first thing she said, which made me frown and think- what? Was she planning on going here as well? To… think? Or maybe she wanted to find me?

 

Confused about the two possibilities I asked, “then how’d you find me?”

 

“... well Fafnir uh, said that you’d be here,” the Lioness answered after a brief pause, she looked up at the sky, her expression uncharacteristically peaceful instead of the usual aggression.
“The stars,” she started, “my father told me that the stars are angels, the strongest- not the humanoid ones but the Angels. Angels.” She emphasized twice and I assumed that her angel had a capital A at the start, the Seraphim, I think are what she’s describing, “the Goddess’ ultimate weapons, the living Pledges,”

 

“The balls of cleansing fire,” I said with a smile before looking up, “are we protected?”

 

“No.” I knew that the answer would come.

 

I nodded, “we need to fight for our lives,” I said starting something that I only knew of in this life after going to church when I was a kid and to my side, Laceresta added to the prayer-

 

"Because the Seraphim will only come down once the Demons won, to wipe everything out and reset the world anew,”

 

Like janitors, I guess, except these ones can destroy mountains- plural, - with a single “sweep” of their “brooms” of light. Laceresta tapped the railing, making small clink, clink, clink sounds with each tap, meanwhile I… decided to break the re-telling of the Seraphim hymn and said, “they’re not our silent guardians watching us dutifully, that purpose belongs to ourselves- who said that again?”

 

“A past hero, Raphael,” Laceresta answered without missing a beat, “it’s found in an ancient burial,”

 

“Mhmm.” I nodded, humming, “how nice would it be if they were though? The Seraphim I mean.”

 

“Then we’d be complacent,” Laceresta said, speaking out and starting one of the holy quotes of creation, “the Goddess made us with flaws specifically because it’s those flaws that make life interesting- we are cruel, hedonistic, and stupid because if we were perfect, then everyone would do the same thing every time, without mistake and without consequence,”

 

“And life would be boring if that were the case, even if we are safe, do we even know the concept?” I replied.

 

“Unless, of course, our boredom is removed and we accept that safety isn't real unless danger exists,” Laceresta added.

 

“But that would make us less human,” I added.

 

“And then another piece would be taken,” Laceresta chimed.

 

“And another,” I repeated, knowing that we were close to finishing it now.

 

“Until we are no different than the dummies that we make,” Laceresta and I did as well, after a second or so of delay.

 

For a while, we both stayed on the balcony to talk and I learned that for someone who’s supposed to be and looks like a brute, Laceresta is actually smart.

 

She's smarter than a good portion of the students attending our school, than the educated nobles and the well funded citizens of Everlast- and I can say this confidently because the Lioness knew a lot about past heroes, and even more when it comes to their personal philosophies, which people translated and understood over the course of centuries, and knowing a lot about that is pretty impressive, especially if Heroes are at the center of all culture found across the world.

 

“I do it because it’s for me to learn empathy and to be humble,” she said then, I didn’t even ask her, she just mentioned it but I understood, especially after she added, “father said so,”

 

I held back a sad, pained smile when she casually mentioned that the Beast King from 5 generational heroes ago has been training and teaching her basic empathy- I guess that old Lion has finally decided that going on a maddened rampage doesn't always solve everything…

 

And chances are, it's because he was the reason why some of his party members died when they fought against the Demon Lord-

 

Laceresta didn't have this kind of dialogue ingame or anything related to her trying to be empathetic and moving away from her father's past, it made me see her in a new light.

 

“How many do you think will remain?” I asked vaguely, I didn't want to offend Laceresta and I… I- I didn- I didn’t want Laceresta to answer it outright, I wanted her to ask me ‘what do you mean?’ and then I’d deflect it- I knew this was a mistake-

 

“All of us.” I flinched when Laceresta growled up at the sky, “we’re making history, prove that all of the Prophecies can survive the fight against the Demon Lord and that the Hero doesn't have to sacrifice themselves every time.”

 

I nodded followed by letting out a very girly squeak- I expected her to growl at me because I was being insensitive, not at the sky in determination, also, she knew what I was talking about!

 

Laceresta finished her determined words by glaring at the sky, and then… silence, everything was followed by complete and utter silence until eventually, Laceresta left, and I stayed for a while before heading back inside, I took a bath, went to my room and quickly found out that…

 

… I couldn’t sleep.

 

The ceiling was nice to look at at least-

 

“Who am I kidding?” I said to myself, tone sardonic and laced with venomous sarcasm.

 

I was scared- that much is obvious- from not just the future of being mistaken for the Saintess- I- I could become one but I knew- knew that I wasn't fit for that role, not now, not in the future, not ever- but enough about worrying about me being forced to become the Saintess- well I guess the main worry that's keeping me up and unable to sleep is also connected to that but-

 

Shaking away my stressful thoughts, I got up and headed out of my room, as I placed my bare feet onto the polished wooden floor of the hallway, I heard a sound and turned- “Fa- Nir,” I called out to the armored dragonoid standing to my right, “can't sleep too huh?”

 

She nodded, “no,”

 

I gestured for her to follow, we went to the kitchen and I prepared two cups of hot cocoa before grabbing a bag of marshmallows- not invented by me oddly enough, these existed since the game and were even the original Neophyte's favorite food, - and opening the plastic bag, I poured the contents down a bowl.

 

I then grabbed a bar of chocolate, snapped it in half, then dipped and melted them into the two cups of hot cocoa, “I know this isn't tea but this helps me calm down,” I grinned reassuringly at Fafnir, "Zath and I usually did this together when I'm… yeah,” my grin turned into a sad smile, “... but since she's asleep from her own training, we just have to deal with not being able to properly melt the marshmallows into the hot cocoa.

 

I handed her a marshmallow and smiled, “chew it,” I said, “enjoy the softness,”

 

She did, “I-”

 

"Good right?”

 

A subtle nod, “yes,”

 

“You don't sound like it,” I teased as I brought our late-night snack to the living room.

 

“It's good,” Fafnir added a smile to her words as she took a seat.

 

“I'm glad you like it,” I said as I slid on the chair in front of her, “now, try this one,” I pushed the cup of hot cocoa on her side of the table, “you can also-” I reached out to a small shelf on the right of the couch and grabbed a bottle of milk, I slammed it down the coffee table, “- try it with this!”

 

Fafnir poured a bit of milk into her hot cocoa and took a sip, she nodded then placed the steaming cup back down, “amazing,”

 

I did the same as her and poured down a bit of milk on my own cup and took a sip, the steaming cocoa was hot but I was able to enjoy the sweet, smooth taste on account that my tongue didn't get burned from the heat, no pain here, just an oddly warm feeling that made the chocolate, somehow, taste even better.

 

“It's good right?” I said as I put my cup down.

 

“I already said that it was amazing so many times already,” Fafnir retorted, shaking her head, “but yes, it's good.”

 

“Right?!” I grinned.