The Criswell's Curse

Terrel walked away, each step he took, the thinner his figure appeared to be, and yet, I felt the pressuring eyes of all nobles on me. Their judgmental attention relied on me, their spiteful mouths recorded with my name in them.

I could feel it. The trembling on my arms returning, the cold sweat dripping from my pores, gluing the fabric to my skin. All that strength, that pitiful charade, was closing its curtains, causing my genuine fears to lurk out yet again.

Knowing my mind didn’t allow me to stay further in the garden, my soul somehow found the courage to straighten my back and pop a cordial smile. “My dear guests, I hope you are enjoying the party. I will be with you shortly.”

Almost immediately, haste in my feet, I dashed towards the Hillgarden’s mansion. Most of it was empty, as the servants were far too busy serving the guests and keeping everything fully stocked. It was only after a handful of minutes of wandering around that my gaze fell across the waiting room, sitting rather deeply into the hallways. Luckily it was void of life.

Desperately, my body fell on the couch, having no further strength left, no further will to move.

My mind kept on remembering Terrel’s lips pressed on mine, his teeth carved on my skin, his touch on my body, his voice, his glare, his grin. I had eaten little, but my insides twitched, hoping to expel the little nutrients they had received earlier on.

Slut.

Whore.

Useless.

His words kept on rolling in my head, like a sickening sailor’s melody as they hope to attain an illusionary treasure. Instinctively, my arm covered the light flowing into my eyes, causing some runaway tears to drip through my cheeks. As my figure trembled, attempting to conceal the panic flowing through, reason shattered, piece by piece.

Some people said, ‘out of sight, out of mind’, but they were wrong. Being in the darkness didn’t make it go away. I could still remember it all, feel it all, see it all. Every time I closed my eyes, he was there, on top of me, dominating me, abusing me, dirtying me.

I wanted to scream.

I wanted to peel my skin and wash his touch off.

I wanted him to fade from this world, to dissipate from my memory.

I wanted so many things. Yet, none of them were real.

“Master, are you alright?” Jade’s voice.

Promptly, my figure straightened, messily cleaning up the tears still rolling down my cheeks. “Yes, I am fine.”

We both knew it was a lie. We both knew I was far from being fine. Even then, no one dared to pursue the matter further.

In silence, he simply sat next to me. Neither of us said a word, yet we acknowledged each other’s presence. Somehow, it was reassuring to have someone to lean on, someone that maybe, just maybe, my soul could come to trust.

“In my land, there’s a tale mothers tell their children.” Jade leaned his back into the couch, sinking his body alongside mine. “Men cannot move mountains, but God can do anything. At first, I thought that was stupid; God doesn’t exist. But it is true, I’ve seen it. I saw mountains move.”

“Mountains moving by the will of God?” I sighed. “That’s surreal.”

“Haven’t you noticed, Master? Terrains change. Rock becomes sand, nature expands to new horizons... your pain is the same. It will change, disappear.”

He was trying to comfort me. I knew that. And yet, his words sounded ludicrous. My pain wouldn’t heal with time, my scars wouldn’t become scarcer, fading as my body and mind aged. What a stupid, foolish thought.

“I already know how my fate will play out, Jade. Nothing will change, no matter how many lives I live, how much I try.” He gulped, being greeted by a rather cold glare. “Men cannot control time; only God can, and I am nothing but their puppet.”

Even with my harsh words, he still hung his belief on a small strand of hope. “The pain you feel... I cannot understand it, but it can heal. Have some faith, Master!”

“Jade...” As my body rose, so did his and our eyes connected, trading unknown whispers with each other. “You cannot bring someone back from the dead, just like you cannot bring my innocence back.”

“But Master...!” Seeing I was walking towards the door, he grabbed my arm, pulling me.

“Stop meddling and do what I bought you to do!”

He released my arm, a pained expression on his face after hearing my yell, my strange reaction – far more aggressive than it ever was. That was the reality. He was a slave. I was a noble. We weren’t friends, lovers, kin. We were simply two people using each other for our own benefits; beings tainted with greed, with an illusion of a brief camaraderie.

I was alone. During all these years, I’ve always been alone and such truth wouldn’t change, even if God tried to move the mountains the past was something they couldn’t attempt to meddle with. And if the ultimate man couldn’t change this, how could a mere slave try to?

With no hesitation, my hand turned the knob, and I exited the room, leaving many words unsaid.

The back door to the garden was rather close by but as my figure wobbled through the corridor, a maid bumped into me. Her hair was messy, sweat dripping from her forehead, her figure hanging far too low as if she hid from sight.

“I am sorry, milady!” She hanged her torso way too further down, clearly trying to hide her face with her overly gratifying bow.

“It is quite alright.” I commented before seeing her rise.

And, for just a moment, I saw her. Her brown eyes, tanned skin, light brown freckles on the upper part of her face. I knew this maid: Millicia, one of Duke Criswell’s people. Quickly, she lowered her head again and left, cleaning the sweat in her hands on the bright blue attire.

I grinned.

The pieces were finally fitting together, gluing themselves to one another. Gilbert’s failure and silence must’ve put Alvin in a peak of anxiety, forcing him to take drastic measures. I knew that man had only showed his face because he had a plan, yet planting a spy in the Hillgarden’s... who would’ve thought?

A sense of ecstasy ran through my skin as the door opened again, feeling the cool wind press against my blushed cheeks.

Little rabbit, let’s play some hide and seek, shall we? I chuckled while heading towards my dear sister’s table.