The Broken Prince's Love

Cedar had to admit that training felt refreshing when he had one of the lighter swords he favored again. He could finally use a real training square too, so he was able to move around more than when he had hidden in Lucille's house.

But still, it was annoying to be watched by guards the whole time. Right now, he was only attacking a wooden mannequin, so they didn't have to be so careful. Cedar had probably been here for hours, and yet, there always seemed to be people who liked watching him. Despite that, he stayed until the sun came closer to the horizon and only stopped then.

Since Lucille had accompanied the empress for the past two days, Cedar hadn't done anything but train the whole day. Thus, he was sweaty and slightly exhausted, which was great since it proved that he had demanded a bit more of himself yet again. That was enough for today though.

He didn't bother talking to any knights and brought back the sword by himself before leaving. As always, the prince ignored all the people around him and steered toward the third floor. He didn't need to concern himself with the gossip that Lucille and him hugging had caused. He would take a short bath and then go to bed without thinking about anything. After all, he had trained to clear his mind, and worrying about his weakness didn't help right now.

He reached the hallways next to his room and was already focused on walking to the door when he saw another person in the corridor.

It was Lucille, who looked like she was waiting for someone.

It seemed like Cedar wouldn't end up being calm later after all. Seeing Lucille always made him question himself again. He didn't know how to deal with her since his feelings were a mess around her. He was way too happy to see her, even though it had only been a few hours since they had greeted each other. Cedar should avoid spending too much time with her, but he didn't think about avoiding her even once. Instead, his feet immediately moved toward her. “Lucille. Good evening.”

She lifted her head and met his gaze for a second before averting her eyes. “Hello. It's...uhm... How are you doing?” She scanned him while barely daring to look at him for too long. “Did you train? You look like...you might have trained.”

Cedar smiled at her. “I did. I spent a few hours regaining some muscle I lost after my injury. How are you? I didn't see you much today. Did you spend time with Her Majesty?”

Lucille weakly nodded. “Yes. She and her maids are nice. We...did something special. That's why I wanted to come here. I hope that I'm not bothering you right now. If you are tired, I can leave again and come back later and...” She sounded so much quieter and less confident than before. Was she upset with him? He hadn't done anything to anger her, right? Had she finally noticed that he wasn't a good person to be around and wanted to break off contact with him?

The prince wouldn't like that last option at all, even if it would probably be for the best. He scanned her for a moment before deciding to be direct. “Did something happen? You seem so uncertain. I did not mean to make it sound like you disturbed me. I hope that it didn't seem like that.” He braced for an unpleasant reply but already knew that he would apologize if he had made her this uncomfortable. He wasn't the type to be so sensible, but right now, he didn't want to risk sending her away accidentally.

But Lucille quickly shook her head, which calmed him more than it should. “No, no. You didn't make it seem like that. I just thought that you may be tired after training. I won't bother you for long. I only wanted to bring you...something.” She looked to the side before letting her eyes roam across the whole hallways. “But giving it to you here is...unfitting. Could I come in for a moment?”

That wasn't a good idea. There was no one except for the two of them here aside from some guards that stood in the hallways, but that was already enough to spread gossip. Theoretically, letting an unmarried woman enter a man's bedroom was frowned upon. They should avoid this for Lucille's sake. But then again, Cedar had also sat in her room without any maids accompanying them. Since their embrace had already caused many rumors, trying to be distanced now wouldn't do much.

Cedar smiled at her and replied in a quiet voice. “If you are fine with entering a man's bedroom, you may come in.” He opened the door to his room and ignored how the guards' eyes seemed to follow them.

Lucille only understood that this wasn't so good when she followed him inside with reluctant steps. She stopped in the middle of the doorway, and her eyes widened in realization. “Wait! I forgot the most important thing. Please give me a moment.” She spun around and opened the door to her own room, which was directly across from his. Lucille took a few steps inside, picked something up and came out with a big silver tray with a cover. She tried to close the door behind her despite having no free hands, only to fail.

Cedar quickly walked over to help her close the door while scanning the tray. Did she want to give him food? Why? Did he look so malnourished? Certainly not. He had trained as much as always and maintained the same diet. But he didn't voice his questions and just watched how Lucille carried the tray over to his room. He used that chance to make eye contact with the guards to signal them to hold back with their chatting. Then he followed her and entered his room before closing the door. “You seem to have brought something quite heavy if you are struggling to keep it upright.”

Lucille didn't dare to respond until she reached the table and set down the tray with utmost care. “Well, I didn't want it to be like this. But then I had so many leftovers and just thought that it couldn't hurt to...” She cut herself off and scanned her tray skeptically before turning to Cedar. “I am not sure whether this is any good, to be honest. I had help, but I mostly made it myself, and since I'm only a beginner, it obviously won't be perfect. If I'm honest, I took a few attempts, but none were good, so I had to do it over again. I hope that this is acceptable now.” She faintly gestured toward the tray. “I only wished to come to give you this gift. You can also open it by yourself later as well. I mean... I can leave if you want me to.” She actually looked like she would favor leaving to avoid seeing his immediate reaction.

But Cedar could only freeze and stare at her. Lucille was giving him a gift? And it was something self-made too? Why would she do that and put so much effort into it? He was speechless at that. He hadn't done anything special for her, so she didn't have a reason to give him a present at all.

And yet, she stood there while being shy and presented something to him.

Cedar blinked at her before replying. “A gift? That is unexpected. I don't think I did anything to deserve such an honor. But if you insist, I will gladly accept it. The person who gave it to me has to be here while I open it though. Would you perhaps give me a short moment before that? I will quickly take a bath if you don't mind it. I usually wouldn't make you wait, but right now, I am a bit unclean.” He had trained for hours after all.

Lucille scanned him first, and her gaze abruptly snapped away. She stared at the clock rather stiffly before replying. “But that will take a while, won't it? Should I return to my room for the time being?”

He quickly corrected her. “I would say that I usually take five minutes. Of course, you may return to your room if you feel more comfortable with that, but I can promise that I will not make you wait.” He would just wash himself and then get out of the tub instead of staying there to relax like many aristocrats often did. Since he used cold water too, he wouldn't even have the desire to stay there longer. In fact, that icy water was exactly what he needed right now. His head felt as it was spinning slightly, and he was certain that his heart had skipped a beat when he had heard about the gift. Cedar needed to regain his composure a bit before he continued talking to Lucille, so this was a good chance. “Would you be willing to excuse me for five minutes? You can sit down in the meantime if you want to.”

Lucille nodded and took a seat while staring at her tray. She seemed like she was rather nervous about giving this to him.

Cedar couldn't help but be even more nervous than her though. So, he quickly spun around and grabbed some new clothes before rushing into the bathroom. He had already asked a servant to bring water a few minutes ago, and fortunately, it was already there. He stepped into the bathtub and lay down to move his head into the water. It was so cold that his skin began stinging, which was perfect right now.

The prince stayed like this for a moment until he needed air and shot up to get ready. He didn't want to let Lucille wait too long. And maybe he was a bit excited too. He didn't want to admit it, but he was happy to receive a gift from Lucille. He would need to give her something in return, but first, he could enjoy her present to the fullest. Cedar didn't even care what it was. He would like it anyway.

Cedar was good at being polite, so he should have no issue showing Lucille a good reaction. Or would she hate it if he gave her the same smile he had put on in public? Probably. So, he should just be honest. But that was problematic for a completely different reason.

Cedar climbed out of the bathtub after cleaning himself and then quickly got changed. He rubbed his hair dry before burying his face in the towel. This situation wasn't anything special, so he shouldn't be excited at all. But he honestly couldn't help it. So, he made sure that his hair wasn't dripping and left the bathroom immediately. “I hope I didn't take too long. Did I make you wait?”

Lucille, who had seemingly lifted the cover of the tray to check on her creation, closed it with a loud thud. She spun around and opened her mouth before closing it again. “I... Yes.” She paused before quickly shaking her head. “I mean... No. You didn't take too long, and you didn't make me wait.” She almost seemed a bit embarrassed after that and quickly averted her eyes.

Cedar checked whether his hair was still wet again, but it was only a bit damp. His clothes also shouldn't be a problem. He closed the door behind him while walking over to Lucille and taking a seat next to her. “Good. Then I don't think that we need to postpone this any longer. I'm more than curious what you got me. And of course, I'm curious why you gave me something too.”

Lucille lowered her gaze before she slowly gestured to the tray. “I...don't know whether you want to hear that. But I will tell you when you take a look at it. It's...nothing special. But it should be fine. I tried often enough, and it wasn't that bad.” She didn't meet his gaze and didn't say anything else. It seemed like she was even more nervous than before.

Cedar had to admit that his heart was beating a bit quicker too, for which he scolded himself. He shouldn't react so sensitively to a small gift. No matter what it was, it wouldn't be anything life-changing even if she had given it to him not just to pay him back but because of something else. Being so nervous didn't make any sense. “I see. I am sure that it will be wonderful, but let me confirm that.” He reached for the tray and carefully pulled it up.

He revealed a cake, which looked like it had been made with great care. The dough itself was light yellow while a lot of chocolate cream covered up most of it. Small chocolate pieces and cream swirls decorated the top part along with a few strawberries and candles in the center. It was obvious that this wasn't the work of someone who had worked as a confectioner for years, but it was pretty close. Hadn't Lucille said that she had only done this for the first few times?

Cedar stared at the cake for a moment before lifting his gaze to make eye contact with her. “You made this? It looks gorgeous. Are you sure that you didn't secretly hire a baker to make it?” He couldn't see any cracks or unevenness at first glance.

Lucille seemed to shrink in herself. “No... I made it myself. I only let the others pull it out of the furnace for me because I was scared of burning my fingers. But I really did the rest.” She probably didn't notice how adorable she was when she tried to be earnest.

He couldn't help but smile at her expression. “I believe you when you say that. I only wanted to express that it looks far superior to what I would imagine when someone claims to never have baked. Are you a genius?”

Lucille's cheeks were tinted with a slight blush as she looked down to avoid his gaze. “Not really. I didn't do anything special. But I am happy if you like it. The others said that it was good as well, but I wasn't sure. I think it worked out because I have a steady hand. I often did embroidery when I was younger, so decorating it was the easiest part. But I am rather uncertain whether it tastes well. I only tried some of the dough, and...it was fine then.” She was quiet for a moment before leaning forward. Picking up a small box of matches, she pulled out one. She scratched it across the surface of the box until the top flamed up. Then Lucille lit up the candles and looked at Cedar again. She cleared her throat before resuming in a voice that was probably quieter than she had wanted it to be. “My mother always used to do this. If you blow out all candles at once, you should be granted a wish. You can't say it out loud though. You need to do it quietly.” She averted her eyes after that, which made the prince even more curious. She had promised to tell him what this was for, and yet, he hadn't received an answer.

Cedar didn't like fire very much, so he was skeptical at first, but in this situation, it suddenly didn't seem too bad anymore. The illuminated cake was truly a sight to see. Cedar scanned Lucille's expression while she explained what he needed to do before he replied. “I see. Then we will do this in a moment. But let me tell you that the cake looks beautiful first. Receiving something like this is an honor. Especially since you took the time to make this yourself. I can't put my gratitude into words, and I can't wait to taste it as well. But I have one question left. Would you tell me what this is for before we eat? I didn't do anything special for you during the past few days.”

Lucille smiled at his compliment, but her smile quickly faded when he finished. “That's not true. You saved my life and then took care of me for the past month. Besides, I like you. I wouldn't need a reason to give you a gift. But in this case...” She looked to the side and pulled her hands below the table. “Please don't get upset. I heard that you don't like it very much. But I wanted to give this to you as a late birthday present.” She almost seemed like she expected him to yell now.

Cedar could only sit there and stare at her. Theodore had to have told her. Otherwise, she wouldn't have known. The prince's birthday had been a while ago, and yet, Lucille had prepared something as soon as she had heard about it. That was ridiculous. How could someone care so much about such a meaningless day? She had been right about him not liking it. If it had been anyone else, he would have told them that too. But after seeing her expression, he felt like he would worsen her mood if he revealed it. So, he only smiled at her. “It's true that I didn't really see the need to receive gifts during my birthday and that I never celebrated it much. But to accept a gift you put so much effort into is a pleasure. Thank you very much. We can use this chance to make sure that it tastes as good as it looks.”

Lucille gazed at him with round eyes before quickly nodding. She took the knife from the tray and carefully offered it to him. She kept her eyes on him while he cut the cake and could barely hide her grin while doing that. But it only took a moment for her to stop him. “Wait! You need to blow out the candles and make a wish first.”

Cedar stopped himself just in time and lowered the knife. He didn't truly have a wish nor did he believe in such superstitions, but he didn't mind playing along for her. “Alright.” He would need to blow out all of the candles at the same time, wouldn't he? That shouldn't be too hard. He leaned forward and brought his face in the right position while being careful not to get too close to the scorching flames, but his attention was soon directed away. He should probably focus on the candles, but he could only look at Lucille.

The setting sun had caused the room to be a bit darker than usual. The orange flickering of the flames illuminated the table and the people who were sitting directly next to it. Lucille's face was also touched by the soft candlelight, which cast small shadows onto her features. She just sat there in silence and watched him while waiting for him to make his wish. It was so simplistic.

And yet, this might have been the most beautiful scene Cedar had ever seen.

The way that the candles illuminated her soft hair and made her eyes glint shouldn't have been breathtaking, but it was. He had seen that Lucille was a beautiful woman from the very beginning, but right now, he couldn't deny that his heart skipped a beat. This was dangerous. He had been tiptoeing on the border of no return for too long and felt like she pulled him over more with every second that their eyes met.

For a moment, Cedar was so captured by her that he forgot what he needed to do. When he remembered, he hurried to take a deep breath. What should he wish for? He didn't have anything he could ask for. Maybe it would be better for this wish to go to someone who believed in it at least a little. He glanced at Lucille. Wanting her wish to come true wasn't so bad, right? He had thought that he made his decision, but as soon as he blew out the candles, he had another thought. Was wishing to be able to spend more time with her too much to ask? It was already too late, but he still wondered.

Lucille watched how all of the candles were extinguished in a second, and a smile formed on her lips. “Belated happy birthday. I wish you the best for the following years. May you be healthy, happy and successful in your endeavors. And may your wish be granted.”

He had never liked the shallow congratulations the guests had told him years ago. But now Cedar had to smile at her words. “Thank you.”

Lucille sounded so genuine when she said all of that. Should she really wish for him, a well-known traitor, to be successful in what he wanted to do? That wasn't a good idea, but she smiled at him so innocently that it was clear that she trusted him completely.

And he just met her gaze and stared into her soft gray eyes. For a few seconds, he couldn't think about anything else. When he noticed that, he hurried to pick up the knife again. “Then we will eat now.” He was extremely careful while cutting into the cake. Then he picked up two slices with the same care and placed them onto the plates Lucille had brought along as well. He gave her a fork and then took one for himself to begin eating.

Cedar didn't miss how she stared at him while he lifted the first bite and put it in his mouth. He hadn't eaten a cake in a while, so he was happy to have one again.

And this certainly had to be the best one Cedar had ever tasted. He rationally knew that there was no way that this was better than what the royal chefs created and that only the fact that it was Lucille's made it so special. But he refused to admit that since it would inevitably force him to come to peace with what he was feeling.

This wasn't what he should do. He had to get away from her. His brain told him that, but he just threw that thought out of an imaginary window.

Instead of worrying, Cedar focused on Lucille, who looked at him with visible tension and desperately waited for his response. He considered teasing her for a moment, but a grin had already formed on his lips. “It's delicious. You are quite talented. I will have to think about employing you to be my personal chef.”

Lucille's face flushed at that, even though he hadn't said anything special. “Thank you. It's good to hear that. If you are happy, this cake fulfilled its goal.” She still didn't look up at him though. Seemingly, she was a bit too embarrassed for that.

Cedar couldn't stop watching her as he ate a second bite too. She was so happy even though he had been the one to receive a present. It was a bit odd, but at the same time, it was extremely adorable. He would need to compliment her more often if that was the reaction he got. Maybe he should just begin praising her every time he noticed something he liked. That seemed like a good idea. He wasn't sure why he felt this way, but he was sure that voicing what was so great about her might help her confidence a bit too. In that case, it was good for the both of them.

Much like her visit now had been wonderful for both too. Cedar would have to ask her to join him to eat the rest of the cake during the next few days as well. He definitely wouldn't be able to finish this on his own, but giving a piece to someone else was unacceptable as well. So, he would have to find a way to offer it to Lucille while also paying her back for this gift.

While they ate and chatted, he was already thinking about what he should get her while ignoring the voice in the back of his mind that questioned whether he had forgotten what he should do. Being so close to Lucille wasn't good.

And he was close to her. He couldn't deny it much longer. Today had only confirmed that worry once again.

After all, he hated his birthday, and still, he had to admit it. If Lucille was the one to accompany him every year, he might come to like his birthday a little bit more.