The Broken Prince's Love

“I only know that I fell for you more with every day. When you eventually told me that this was not only the feeling of friendship, I got scared. But you were obviously right, and I was already enamored with you then. And since then, there has only been one choice. I always wanted to hold back because I doubted that being with me was a good idea for you. But I couldn't hold back. So, I kissed you, hugged you in public, told you that I would marry you and allowed Blanche to give us a blessing for an engagement that doesn't even exist yet.” Cedar had done it a few times already, but each time he said that he loved her in one way or the other, Lucille's heart skipped a beat.

Hearing him speak about all of this was nice. Not just because she loved hearing his voice but also because she adored hearing how he admitted that he cared. She simply felt euphoric because of a few words, which were so easy to give. So, she wanted to return the favor. She waited for Cedar to finish before she looked into his eyes. “I love you.”

Cedar quickly grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips to press a small kiss onto it. “I adore you too.” That was enough to make both her hand, where he had kissed her, and her stomach tingle.

Lucille wouldn't get enough of hearing those words any time soon. She could sit here and enjoy her lover's presence for hours, but of course, they couldn't just end their conversation here. To her, this much would have been enough, but Cedar wouldn't be satisfied with that. She knew that he would say something else, and after a short pause, he proved her right.

Cedar still wanted to tell her something. He was rather quiet while he asked his question. “Is it really fine if we suddenly...make up like this? Aren't you angry?”

Lucille shook her head. “I'm not. I never was, and now I'm even calmer than before, so I can think clearly and tell you that it's fine. You didn't do anything that hurt anyone on purpose.” Surely, it wasn't nice that she had been involved in such a plot without knowing it, but Cedar had never wanted to endanger her staff or Lucille. The matter of his mother suddenly attacking someone Cedar had talked to was something else entirely. Cedar had already proven that he was sorry for this. And Lucille couldn't really blame him for not caring about her before he had spent any time with her. The fact that he had changed his mind about having a personal connection with her just proved that he had quickly grown to like her.

Cedar still seemed to be skeptical though. Of course, he smiled at her, but he managed to seem uncertain nonetheless. “But I did come to your home with the intention of using you. And I purposefully addressed topics that would make you react sensitively to manipulate you into letting me stay.”

“Maybe. But I liked you then already. Not because of your past but because of who you were when we interacted. Maybe you were kind to fulfill your goal, but aren't you always polite? So, you didn't act too differently from the normal you. Our conversations were fun, so you definitely repaid me already. And since you didn't stop talking to me after we left my home, I can assume that you liked our conversation as well.”

Cedar immediately responded. “Yes. I enjoyed them too much. That was why I talked to you so much without paying attention to the fact that my mother would target you if she found out. I was sure that she wouldn't ever notice, but seemingly, I underestimated how controlling she really was.” He paused for a moment before resuming in a bit quieter volume. “But even if I liked you, I did use you to enter the palace. It wasn't planned, but your wound was what made Theodore allow me inside.” Now he was making himself seem worse than he was already. He had planned to use his own injury to get inside, and Lucille had freely decided to jump in front of him. That hadn't been his fault.

“But you remember how I moved on my own accord to stand in front of you, right? I did it because I wanted to help you and not because you made me do it in any way. And after that, we came to the palace, and I got treated. So, that was good for me too. You really don't need to worry.” She immediately continued when Cedar opened his mouth. “If you feel bad, just be aware that I used you in some way too when you came to us. I saw you as a reflection of me, and knowing that you managed to break free from your mother's chains gave me the illusion that I could be strong too. I wanted to help you because I felt like it was a way for me to do what I wanted for the first time instead of blindly following my father's wishes. I began liking you after just a few conversations, and from then on, I wished to protect you for personal reasons, but before that, I had an ulterior motive. But that didn't cause trouble for you either, right? Because we both like each other and can be happy now.”

Cedar hesitated for a moment and just inspected her expression. When he could be sure that she was honest, he relaxed a bit in her hug. “That's...calming.” He didn't say anything for a few seconds and only continued when she had thought that he wouldn't speak anymore. “I'm glad that you aren't upset. But I can make it up to you anyway.” Normally, those words wouldn't be bad after a fight, but to Cedar, this probably meant something much more serious than to her.

Lucille quickly replied. “You don't have to. I'm just happy that we talked about this now. We can move past it and just conclude that we were happy that we met.” She was already prepared to say something else but stopped herself at that moment. There was one question she still had. She might as well ask it now. “Cedar. I don't know if I understood it correctly, but it sounded like you were aware that my father and mother were similar to yours in a way. That makes sense if you were acquainted with them and were aware of how they acted. But you certainly didn't spend much time with the Valerian family before. How did you know about my parents? They aren't so important that you would have seen the need to research something about us.”

“I didn't need to research much. I'm good at reading people, you know that. I saw how you and your father interact, and that gave me enough hints of what I could expect. And of course...” He paused for a moment and scanned her eyes as if he expected her to dislike what he would say. “Everyone in noble society heard about Lady Valerian, who divorced her husband and whose current location is unknown.” That made sense too. Cedar would be able to spot people that were power-hungry quickly.

Lucille was already fine with that response. If she knew that the prince had used his pre-existent knowledge to determine that her parents had a similar relationship with her, she could be sure that Cedar had observed everyone around him. Most likely, he had searched for someone for his plan and had picked the best option of everyone. It seemed like her naivete and her lack of confidence truly had made her an easy target.

And for the first time in her life, these traits had actually helped her because she had met her lover because of that. She probably wouldn't have gotten closer to him in any other scenario.

“I see. That is logical.” Lucille smiled at her lover, and still, he didn't seem to be fully convinced.

Cedar opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. He was quiet for a few seconds and thought about what he wanted to say once more. “And this means that...”

Lucille finished the sentence for him. “That I'm completely fine with this. I want to be with you, and I don't want you to blame yourself in any way. I'm not mad, so you don't have to be upset either. I just want to be with you again.” Now that she paid attention to it, her cheeks might feel a bit warm since she had to say such daring things, but she didn't care. “For the past few days, I missed you. I don't want us to be like that again.”

“I missed you too.” Cedar leaned down and gave her a little kiss before he resumed. “It wasn't long, but it felt like an eternity. I wanted to give you some time to process this before I would come to apologize, but that might have been a stupid idea.” Indeed.

She had been uncertain about his wishes when he had avoided her for so long. Now they were together again, and she didn't even want to think about having that freezing atmosphere between them again. Lucille quickly leaned her head against him. “I was worried. But since we made up, it's fine now.” She paused for a moment while thinking back to how unhappy she had been without Cedar. It was ridiculous how much his absence had influenced her in a negative sense. She hadn't even been able to sleep properly because she had kept thinking about their fight. So, she might need to catch up on that today. And this time, her lover would hopefully be right next to her again. She lifted her head again to look up at him. “Will you sleep in my room today again?”

Cedar let out a little chuckle, and she finally saw that smug grin again. “You do know that you should say stuff like that in private. If someone overheard us, this certainly wouldn't have ended in your favor. You're always so shy, but then you say stuff like this.”

Lucille couldn't care less even if other people heard, not that anyone was here. She felt safe and warm in Cedar's embrace, which made up for everything. She got lost in thoughts when both of them didn't say anything for a while, and all of a sudden, her mind came up with another thought. She didn't want to spend the night alone again, so she assumed that Cedar would be with her for the next few weeks at least. Then they might as well move in together to avoid having to bring over his clothes each day. Right? That made sense, didn't it? Maybe it was just Lucille's own wish to ensure that she could be with her lover for as long as possible after this unpleasant pause, and her idea would work best for this. She didn't care. She just wanted to propose it. “Can we share a room from now on?”

Cedar probably hadn't expected her to address this so quickly, but he didn't take long to reply. “If you want to. I believe that my brother won't mind giving us the room he already prepared for us.” She had almost forgotten that. Theodore had said that the couple could have a room close to the emperor and the empress' chambers.

Lucille wouldn't mind that at all. It would indicate that she and Cedar would stay here longer, especially since the empress had already given them her blessing for their engagement. Lucille didn't have the intention to go against such an important decree, so she might end up living here anyway.

For a moment, they were silent, and only the slight rustling of the wind in the bushes around them sounded. It was peaceful, there was no other way to describe it. Both of them were truly happy at that moment even without saying anything. They sat there for an eternity without any intention of leaving any time soon and kept each other in their hug. They only moved again when some time had passed.

Cedar scanned their surroundings for a moment before he spoke. “If the empress sees us here, she will kill us. This spot is her favorite. She will probably accuse us of dirtying it now.”

Lucille doubted that. Blanche liked Cedar, even if he seemed to insist that she had to hate him. The empress often talked about him with fondness and knew a lot about what he was thinking despite claiming to never have spent much time with him. Lucille didn't care for the reason. If someone else became Cedar's friend, it was wonderful. He needed pleasant people in his life. “I think she wouldn't mind. She might pout a bit, but she wouldn't throw us out.”

Cedar shrugged as much as he could while hugging his lover. “Maybe. I won't insist on finding out. We have to leave anyway. The sun is slowly getting closer to the horizon, and it cooled down quite a bit. Maybe we should go inside now. We don't want to risk you getting a cold.”

Lucille was happy to follow him inside if that meant that they could cuddle in bed again. “Then let's go.”

She stood up, and Cedar did the same a moment later. He still didn't let go of her, which Lucille was fond of. It seemed like both of them needed the intimacy now after having gone without even a little hug for a while. The two of them walked toward the palace. The garden was almost empty except for the guards that patrolled the area, so they shouldn't have been stopped on the way, but they managed to run into a person who addressed them anyway.

It was Harris, who had seemingly been waiting by the staircase. It would have been rather odd if he truly had been there the whole time, but Lucille didn't point that out.

Cedar did. “Are you still here? By the gods, you truly must be bored. Should I give you some work to do?”

Harris crossed his arms and grinned at the couple. “Oh, don't worry about me. I went to see my beloved person and had him busy me, as you might call it. I just returned to inform you that the royal couple requests your presence. If you aren't busy doing something else, that is.” He glanced at Lucille.

She wasn't sure what to say about that, but they couldn't just ignore the royal couple. So, she replied. “Thank you. We will go see them then. Where are they?”

Harris just smiled back at her. “It's nice to finally hear your voice, Lady Valerian. You are usually so quiet when we meet that I wasn't sure whether I was too scary.” He already continued before she could refute that. “But maybe you just seemed quiet to me because you are always around someone who can't stop chattering.” He glanced at Cedar but didn't stop to give him a chance to speak this time either. “The royal couple is in their room, and they are in the middle of admiring the princess again. You can go see them, but they will probably gush about how cute their child is for half an hour before paying attention to you.” That was to be expected.

But Lucille didn't mind. She just nodded.

Cedar replied after glancing at her to confirm that she didn't want to speak. “As usual. Well, it's not like we can ignore it when His and Her Majesty summon us. Let us go visit them.”

Most likely, this wouldn't just be about them coming to look at Aurora. Most likely, Theodore wanted to confirm whether Lucille had actually spoken to her lover. If so, she was happy to pass the good news on. “Yes. Let's go. I want them to see that we are fine again. Your brother told me to go talk to you a while ago.”

Cedar already moved forward again. “Really? Somehow, it isn't surprising that he would get involved again.” While they walked past Harris, the prince quickly turned his head to the servant. “Good evening. Have a nice night.” With that, he focused his attention on Lucille, who waved the other man for a moment. “The empress came to lecture me about needing to go talk to you too. It seems like the royal couple discussed this and planned for us to talk to one another today.”

If so, Lucille wouldn't be surprised either. But she would have to thank the royal couple then. Reconciling with Cedar had been needed very much. Maybe Cedar felt the same since he didn't complain too much about his brother chiming in. He also didn't point out that asking someone to visit in the evening like that was a bit impolite and just brought his lover to their destination.

They knocked on the door and were let inside quickly.

Both Blanche's and Theodore's face lit up when they saw the couple. The empress was the first one to speak as she gestured to the empty sofa on the other side of the table. “Please take a seat. Are both of you fine now?”

Lucille nodded in return. “Yes. Thank you very much.”

Theodore replied before she could even finish. “There is no need to thank us. We didn't do anything but speed up the process a bit. We couldn't watch that much misery, so I hope that you aren't too upset.” How could anyone be upset with receiving help?

Even Cedar didn't seem like he was too annoyed despite his brother getting involved in his life. “It truly does seem like the master negotiator that wrapped every influential noble around his finger can even impress with his skills when the topic isn't politics. In any case, we have to voice our sincerest gratitude.”

Theodore scanned his brother with skepticism. “Don't speak so formally. If you do that, I always worry about you suddenly wanting to talk about politics in our free time. Let's not do that now. Let us focus on something pleasant instead.”

As if she had waited for her cue, Aurora let out a quiet noise so that everyone looked at her. The princess sat on a mountain of pillows that rested on her father's lap so that she could lean her back against him. She didn't do much but stare at the arriving people with an opened mouth before she focused her attention on the toy in her hand again. She moved around the rattle with so much seriousness that it looked like she might be planning to analyze what sounds she could make. It was adorable.

That little motion was enough to make Blanche's heart melt. She let out a small noise of admiration and leaned down to kiss her baby's head.

In an instant, Aurora's serious expression lit up with a smile. She babbled to herself a little before she returned to shaking the rattle. Only after receiving some head pats from her mother, of course.

A few seconds passed before the royal couple managed to focus on something aside from their daughter again. Theodore smiled at his wife and daughter before he lifted his head and greeted the visitors again. “You don't have to stand there. Come sit down.”

Cedar looked like he might discuss for a moment, but he didn't do that. “We can join you for a few minutes.” He led his lover to the sofa and sat down.

Lucille followed him quickly and cuddled against him, which made him hug her. So, she leaned her head onto his shoulder and relished in their embrace again.

Apparently, that was enough to make Blanche beam. “How cute the two of you are. I can't wait until the wedding. You two will be so wonderful together.” As always, she seemed to be a bit quicker in her planning than the concerned couple.

Theodore chimed in before Cedar, who had already opened his mouth, spoke. “Don't tell me you already planned a date for your wedding. That would be a bit quick, but I wouldn't be surprised. You did things like this indirectly proposing all of a sudden too.” That was something completely different.

Lucille merely shook her head. “We're not...even engaged yet.”

Blanche replied immediately. “Well, in some way you are. I did bless your engagement. So, if anyone else married one of you, they would go against the will of the royal family. Doing that would be a horrible idea, so few would dare. And since the two of you are obviously enamored with each other, you would never allow someone else to marry your partner too. Maybe it would be helpful if you admitted that to yourselves.”

Cedar scanned the empress for a moment as if he expected something else to follow before he responded. “You already made it public in some way. That makes it rather hard to even consider changing this anymore. After all, you found it necessary to...” He paused for a moment. “Oh, right.” He turned to his lover and gave her a bright smile. “Blanche went ahead and showed my mother the blessing she wrote. Which means that Mother is fuming at the moment.” His expression made it look like he wasn't too happy about that.

Lucille could imagine how Camille would react. If the dowager empress ordered assassins to slaughter the inhabitants of a mansion just because her son talked to a woman a few times, she wouldn't hesitate to get much worse now. If Cedar got engaged, Camille would probably lose her mind and become much more unstable than she already was.

Lucille couldn't care less about that woman's opinion. She just worried about any dangerous situations. “It will be fine. We're in the palace, so we are safe.” As countless incidents in the past had proven, this wasn't completely accurate, but she didn't want her lover to worry. Most likely, he was already concerned enough because he knew what kinds of games his mother could play.

Theodore was quick to reply. “I can calm you in that regard. I have people keeping a close eye on her now. She lost her title, so she has fewer chances of doing anything. Many who would have supported her under the right circumstances will turn their backs on her because they realized that she will lose. That can only be good for us. She won't harm either of you.”

Cedar waited for a short moment before he responded, which showed that he was a bit skeptical. “If you say so. Well, then please grant us one request. We would like to accept your offer regarding the shared room.”

He had barely said that before Blanche already grinned at them. “Of course. Everything is already prepared. You could move in tomorrow.” That might be a bit quick after all.

Even if Lucille didn't doubt that the servants would be able to move all of her items in such a short time, she didn't want to overwhelm them. “We will be fine with doing it in a week or so.” That was still pretty soon, but at least that would allow the servants to split their work a bit.

Cedar let out a small chuckle at that and whispered into her ear. “Someone is impatient.” He probably hadn't done it on purpose, but the way he leaned close to her and said things like that so closely next to her ear made Lucille's breath hitch. He could truly enchant her with just a small gesture.

And Lucille was more than happy with that. She was happy with every single thing he gave her. She loved every side of Cedar, and she adored it no matter how he acted. Whether he was teasing her or whether he was soft like today, she always enjoyed it as long as he was holding her in his arms at the end of the day.