The Broken Prince's Love

As always, Blanche acted like she knew exactly what was going on inside the prince's head. But sometimes, she made strange assumptions anyway. She had just explained how important it was for him to talk to Lucille and ended her speech with something odd. “You need to discuss what worries you since that plot itself surely wasn't what bothered you most. You both are upset about something completely different, which, in fact, is just based on a misunderstanding.”

Cedar wasn't certain what she was referring to, but he had planned on talking to Lucille anyway. He just wouldn't do it now. “I will go apologize to her. In a few days when she had time to think about this. I don't want to overwhelm her by suddenly appearing now.”

Blanched clicked her tongue before replying. “That's not the real reason, is it? You are scared of her response and want to delay the conversation.” Maybe that was it.

If Lucille told Cedar that she didn't want to be with him anymore, it would crush him emotionally. So, he obviously couldn't just go to her when he wasn't sure what his reaction would be. He was affected by that small conversation a few days ago even now, and doubt burned into his heart like acid. So, Cedar had hoped to get a few days to recover from this so that he could put on his perfect mask again before seeing Lucille.

But he wasn't sure whether he would ever get better when he was this miserable without her. Maybe waiting wouldn't do much for him, but he wanted his lover to calm down a bit too. The less upset she was, the higher the odds of him being able to convince her to listen to him first were. And if Cedar talked enough, he might be able to explain enough for her to understand that he wanted another chance. Opening up his heart would be difficult too, so maybe he was a bit afraid of that as well.

It was silent for a moment when Cedar wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to affirm Blanche's guess, even if she was right. So, he glanced to the side to scan the flowers with disinterest and replied as calmly as possible. “I wish for Lucille to have some time to process this before I speak to her. Is that an issue?”

Blanche let out a low sigh. She tapped her fingers onto the table while scanning the prince. “You are as stubborn as ever. But you don't have to do that. This only hurts Lucille as much as it hurts you. I've never seen her as dejected as during the past days, and you aren't any better. So, get yourself together, and go talk to her. If you don't do that soon, Theo and I will have to plot to bring both of you into a room together.” That didn't sound too bad.

After all, Cedar could blame the timing on the royal couple then. And surely, he wasn't keen on explaining all of his feelings to Lucille when he couldn't be sure what she would say, but he did want to see his lover as soon as possible, and if the emperor forced him, he couldn't continue to be so cowardly. But as always, he didn't admit that. “It seems like the royal couple has a lot of free time to get involved in such matters.”

Blanche wasn't even surprised by that statement. She replied without skipping a beat. “Of course, we have time to deal with our family. That much should be obvious. And we will have to get involved if you are too stubborn to finally put down that damned indifferent mask. It's frustrating to all of us if you keep hiding your feelings.”

Cedar already opened his mouth to give a response that was a mix of denial and a snarky comment.

But the empress continued without waiting. “You don't hide yourself because you want to. You do it because you are scared, and that is painful for us to watch. Because we see how much you worry about letting that perfectly composed facade crack, even if it's obvious that you won't lose your temper. I think you are more scared of that than anyone else because we all saw that your self-control is flawless. You are much calmer than most other people around us. You have the right to get upset and angry too, you know?”

Cedar wasn't sure what to do with that information. He knew that he worried about losing control because he hadn't kept his guard up just once, but no one should know that. He scanned the empress while grinning at her. It annoyed him that this woman seemed to know what was going on inside his head. She wasn't fully right, but she wasn't wrong either. “I thought that making assumptions about other people's emotions wasn't good. How come you keep trying to guess what I am thinking?”

Blanche completely ignored that and just continued what she had been talking about. “But there is another reason why you hide what you are feeling.” She narrowed her eyes, and anger overcame her features. “It's because that witch used every one of your weaknesses against you when she had the chance. But now that damned woman won't touch you anymore.” Her expression softened, and she did the one thing that made this even more confusing. She reached over to him. She put her hand onto his and gently patted the backside of his hand.

Cedar stared at her and was rather unsure of what she was doing, but he didn't move nor did he speak.

Blanche already continued anyway. “I know that it won't help if I just tell you this, but it's important for you to know. You can be vulnerable once in a while too. No one here will use that against you. The people who care about you will only support you and make you stronger, so you don't need to hide your emotions. That applies to Lucille but also to everyone else. You will probably still show us your smile very often, but you don't have to worry about us catching you without one. Alright? You have to keep in mind that you aren't alone. We are with you.”

Cedar tried to read Blanche's expression and find some traces of mockery or hidden ill intentions, but there was nothing. She just seemed to be sincere. That finally tipped over the full barrel, and he needed to ask. “Please do not feel personally attacked if I say this. But why do you care about this? By that, I am referring to my situation with Lucille and you trying to read my mood the whole time.”

Blanche just showed him a little smile. “I know what thinking that your fate is predetermined feels like. I know how depressing and suffocating it is if you believe that there is no way that you can have a future with the person you love. But there is always a chance, and I want you to grasp it so that you can have your happy end too.” Her smile became a bit brighter as she patted his hand. “And more than that, I care about both you and Lucille. I want both of you to be happy, and I am sure that being together is best for you. I want to see your honest smile soon again.” That reasoning made no sense. How could a person who had previously had no sympathy for the prince suddenly act like she wanted to help him at all times?

Cedar was taken aback by that, but he didn't even know what to say anymore. “I see.” He didn't really understand anything here. He doubted that Blanche was honest, so not being able to find a trace of insincerity on her face upset him a bit. He pulled his hand away and straightened his posture again. “So, you assume that Lucille and me being together would make the two of us the happiest, and for that, I should go talk to her?” If that was true, he would be thankful. After all, he truly did want to be with Lucille, but he needed her to be happy with that too.

Blanche still smiled at him as she responded. “Indeed. I want you to talk to Lucille as soon as possible. You can see that as a royal order too if it helps. Just go see her. She misses you, and you miss her. I can't stand seeing so much misery when both of you just long for each other.”

Cedar's heart clenched at that thought. There was no way that Lucille actually missed him as much as he missed her, right? That would be extremely unfavorable when he had only held back to give her space. Blanche had seen her a few times, so she knew more than him. And if the empress insisted on him needing to speak to Lucille, he couldn't decline. A few seconds passed in silence before he came to a conclusion.

He would really see this as an order. Then no one could blame him for following it. He knew that the real reason was that he had missed Lucille too much and couldn't wait anymore before seeing her, but he wouldn't admit that.

Cedar remained seated for another minute or so in hopes of Blanche leaving before he did, but she stayed with him. So, he spoke up as soon as she opened her mouth. “It seems that you wish to use the winter garden. I will take my leave now to not disturb you.” He stood up.

Blanche rose to her feet as well and showed him a little smile. “Before you leave, remember that she really does love you. You don't have to worry about that. She isn't too upset with you, and she won't be angry if you meet her now either. Just allow me to do one more thing before you go there.”

Cedar probably wouldn't like it, but he just smiled. “Since you are the empress, I cannot stop you, can I?” He stayed at the same spot behind his chair while waiting for Blanche's move. He wasn't sure what she would need him to be here for, so she probably wanted to say something oddly accurate about his state of mind again. At least he thought that, but Blanche didn't speak.

She just rounded the table to stand next to him. Then she suddenly raised her arms and put them around him.

Cedar completely froze. He was pretty certain that his smile had disappeared for just a moment, and he was actually speechless. He stared down at the top of Blanche's head and blinked a few times. “What are you doing?”

Blanche didn't move away and just patted his back once. “I'm hugging you.” Obviously. That wasn't what he had asked about.

Cedar was seconds away from pushing her away from him simply because his initial thought had been that she wished to attack him. But Blanche didn't suddenly stab him or anything similar, which made this even stranger. Hadn't she shuddered because of a hinted hand kiss in the past? Why was she hugging him now? The tumult in his head confused him quite a bit, so he barely managed to speak. “Theodore will kill me if he sees that. Are you trying to get me executed?”

Blanche still didn't release him and just let out a low sigh. “I'm trying to cheer you up, you idiot. Theo won't get mad either.”

“I see. I am pretty sure that he changed in that regard.” In the past, Cedar would have lost his hands or his head if Blanche had come so close to him. Now he might not be at risk of being killed, but he was still stiff and uncertain about what to do. He wasn't good with touch from other people unless he needed to do it to gain someone's trust. Normally, he was the one initiating it if he wanted to gain something from it. But now that someone had hugged him without a reason, he was completely unsure of what to do and just awkwardly kept his hands away from Blanche so that no one could accuse him of doing anything.

A few seconds passed before Blanche slowly let go of him to take a step back. She had a strange expression on her face, as if she was melancholic. “It's calming to know that you react in the exact same manner again. You don't have to be so stiff, you know? I wasn't going to stab you.”

Cedar did his best to hide his growing confusion and uncertainty with a bright smile. He shrugged at her. “It wouldn't have surprised me. Such an attack might even have worked despite your lacking arm strength.”

For some reason, his response made Blanche laugh. She beamed at him before replying. “So, it's the same response to that too.” She stayed silent and watched Cedar, who got a bit uncomfortable, for a moment. She took a few seconds before she replied. “I'm glad that you are here in a much more peaceful setting this time. I'm sorry for catching you off guard. You are free to leave now. Go see Lucille.”

Cedar didn't need to be asked twice. He hinted a small bow to the empress. “As you wish. May you have a wonderful afternoon.” He chose not to address the hug and just spun around to leave. He stepped outside the winter garden and quickly closed the door behind him. Cedar tried to ignore how the empress' maids, who had definitely watched that interaction just now from outside, looked at him with differing expressions He just approached the palace without stopping to turn around once.

The prince wouldn't admit it, but he was actually rather shaken by that embrace just now. Others touching him had always been weird, mostly because the people around him certainly had ulterior motives. Then he usually hated them coming close. With those people, he felt a shiver run down his spine and needed to double his efforts to act like he was unaffected.

But Blanche hadn't seemed so cold. In fact, her embrace had been warm and calming. It was completely different from Lucille's hug, but it had something familiar to it as well. It hadn't necessarily been bad. At least she hadn't tried to stab him.

But what Cedar needed to focus on was Lucille and not the empress, who seemed to lose her mind more with each day. And with that, the main question took over his mind entirely.

How would he approach Lucille? He couldn't just walk to her room after three days of silence and grin at her as if nothing had happened. But asking her to meet him by writing a letter would be odd too. Cedar walked toward the terrace while trying to come up with a way to begin a conversation with Lucille that wouldn't confuse or upset her. In the end, he found nothing, which meant that he would have to rely on his talking once again. He only had to go to her and address the topic directly. Then what should he tell her?

Lucille probably wouldn't want to hear him beg for forgiveness like he had done it for his mother, right? Surely, Cedar could grovel and plead if necessary, but he doubted that Lucille would be happy about that. She might just assume that he was trying to manipulate her if he did that. So, Cedar would have to apologize differently.

He pondered that with a hundred thoughts flying around in his head. But none of the ideas he had were good. It was rare that he was unsure what to say, but he was emotionally invested here. If he made a mistake, he couldn't just cover it up with politeness and a fake smile.

Cedar was so focused on his thoughts that he didn't even see what was going on around him. He reached the staircase that led to the grand balcony and walked up without paying attention to his surroundings. He only looked up when he heard someone say his name.

“Cedar!” That voice made the blood in his veins freeze.

Cedar lifted his head and stopped in his tracks when he caught a glimpse of the most beautiful person in this whole world.

There, on top of the staircase, Lucille was. She looked down at him with a serious expression, and that was all he needed to fall right into her hands. He hadn't seen her for three days, and just gazing at her face again made him feel like he was in paradise.

Despite that, his stomach churned, and the air around him seemed to have become thinner.

Cedar was scared. Scared of being rejected now. But that fear quickly disappeared when he needed to focus on his lover, who suddenly began moving toward him at a speed that might have been a bit too quick for her legs.