A Shade In An Endless Sun
There she said it.
She laid bare all her frustrations, all her emotions, all the sadness and anger she had accumulated over the countless long years of her existence.
All her pain, all her insecurities, the dark past she tried to hide from her children ever so desperately, she laid them all bare.
But she didn't regret it, not even one bit.
She didn't regret killing the bastard with her own two hands, she didn't regret selling her soul in exchange for power to achieve her goals and lastly, she didn't regret telling her precious daughter about her past.
Because that's what made her what she is today, that's the unquestionable truth of the matter, the hard to swallow past that haunts her to this day.
She didn't question the actions she took in the past, fretting over spilt milk wasn't ever something she considered or had the leisure to do so.
And whether she likes it or not, her children will eventually know her past, more so now that the demons have returned to this world.
So she decided it's best that they know from herself…even if it means risking their respect and admiration in the process.
So she watched her daughter in silence, preparing herself internally for the look of disdain and disgust that she knew would eventually come.
That look of horror that she saw on the bastard when she killed him, the look of disdain that he gave her when he knew the source of her power, it's still vivid in her mind to this day
At the time she didn't care, he can wallow in his miseries all he wants, she even took preverse pleasure in his fear as she tore him from limb to limb ever so slowly.
But…now it's different, and instead of the person she hated the most, it was one of the three people she most cared for.
She wouldn't blame her daughter for any distaste or disgust, for she knows the most how much of a vile and repulsive woman she truly was.
But deep inside her long dead heart, she hoped.
Hoped to at least find solace in the fact that she had raised her daughter well, hoped to feel proud when eventually seeing her daughter making the obviously correct descision.
Despite being broken herself.
So she stood there in silence, waiting for the eventual judgment to come and pass, silently wondering to herself if she could even continue living when eventually faced with her children's scorn.
…But, it never came.
The look she expected never came, she didn't understand at first, wondering to herself if she had truly started slipping away from reality.
She realised that she had been looking at the ground for a while, probably too afraid to see hatred and fear into her daughter's eyes.
She slowly looked back upwards, her still blood red eyes silently peering into her daughter's own.
But instead of either of those emotions, the mother goddess saw love and pity in her daughter's golden eyes.
“...Mother”
The sun goddess rose from her seat and rushed towards her mother, she hugged her so tightly as if afraid to ever let go, her body trembled as she brought her mother further into her embrace.
“Mother…there exists nothing in this world that could drive me, or any of my siblings to hate you”
The divinty of the sun acted out its holder's emotions, warmth and comfort poured out from the god queen and washed over the dark and oppressive aura that radiated from her mother.
“You raised us with care, poured every ounce of your being to ensure our happiness”
Two opposite divinities faced one another—one dark and lifeless, full of hatred and scorn; the other bright and vibrant, radiating warmth and compassion.
“You tolerated our mistakes, celebrated our achievements, helped us become the person each one of us became today”
But instead of clashing in search of individual supremacy, the two auras intertwined in perfect harmony, enveloping one another in their combined presence and transforming the harsh atmosphere in a comfortable and soothing one.
“So tell me mother, how can I judge you for pursuing a revenge you deserved?”
The mother goddess remained stiff in her daughter's embrace at first, her mind not properly processing the outcome just yet.
Slowly however, she came to realise what had happened, her daughter's divinty brought her out of her stupor as it intertwined with her own.
And that was the trigger, she reciprocated her daughter's embrace as tears threatened to fall out of her eyes.
“Amaterasu, my darling daughter, my guiding light and ray of sunshine”
She hugged her daughter tighter, her heart finally finding the solace that it was so desperately looking for all her life.
Funny how her fear had denied her the comfort she yearned for so long, how a fleeting chance of garnering her children's hatred ended up being her greatest of nightmares.
She buried her insecurities deep inside her heart in fear of appearing weak, she refused to say anything in fear of being met with disdain.
She hoped to live the rest of life in isolation, hoping that her children continue to live without having to know the past of the disgusting being they call mother.
But fate was anything but kind to her it seems, and the man she both dreaded and was thankful for had come back.
And with him came the reminder of what she had done, the threads of her past deeds and the events that she wanted to to take with her to the grave.
She knew it was but a matter of time before her children knew of her past, they'll know that their mother was no noble goddess, no ideal and flawless deity who made her way to the top with her own power.
What she’s truly is the complete opposite, a powerless, vengeful and cheap woman, who after being taken against her will and used like some worthless rag.
Her only hope of ever achieving revenge was to sell herself.
She never regretted it to this day, if time came back once more, she'll undoubtedly take the deal and claw the bastard's face off every single time.
But…that wasn't something her children deserved to know, they may be an accidental product of her greatest humiliation, but the fact that they were her children still remained.
And from the moment she gave birth to the triplet deities, she swore to protect them with all her borrowed might, she'll provide them the happiness she had always wanted for herself.
What does she have to live for after all?
So the years slowly came to pass, and she spent all of them attending and caring for the sun goddess and her two brothers.
Demons were long out of the world, those who knew of her past had been personally disposed off or had perished a long time ago.
Her childern grew up to be capable gods of their own right, they took reigns and inherited the pantheon she had rebuilt to be their home, and for the first time in a while, fate seemed kind towards the mother goddess for the first time in a long time.
But it all ended when ‘he’ came back, the promise that haunted her dreams to this day, an undeniable truth that threatened to collapse all she had built and cherished with the greatest of difficulties.
Her master came back to the world, demons will undoubtedly follow their king and drown the world in chaos and madness, it was a certainty, a universal law that equates the existence of demons.
But that didn't matter, what mattered to her was her children, her long forgetten past the will undoubtedly rear its ugly head the moment she expected it the least.
Did she eliminate everyone who knew? How can she be sure that all who knew won't lay her secrets bare, how can she guarantee that her secret remains hidden when she doesn't even know who holds it?
The answer is she can't, so she tried to prevent it with her all, even attempting to drive the demon lord into ending the world in its entirety.
After all, when faced with the threat of annihilation, nobody will have the time to dig up her past, correct? Her secrets won't ever come to light if everything were to go up in flames, right?
But sadly she failed, the demon king dismissed her obvious attempt at trickery with a cruel smirk on his face, and she was faced with the reality of the situation once again.
She dreaded this moment for basically her entire life, fearing for something she knew with all her heart would undoubtedly come.
But…as she lay now in her daughter's embrace, after having been forced to spill the secret she hid so desperately.
When her daughter accepted her for who she is, shown her care and comfort despite being the vile and disgusting woman she always was.
She felt strangely at peace.
…….
The two goddesses embraced each other in silence.
It was a wholesome scene where a pair of mother and daughter clung to each other in search of comfort.
A pity it was somewhat ruined by the screams of the countless damned souls rotting away in the deepest pits here in ‘Yomi’, far away in the distance.
But neither one of them seemed particularly caring about the environment that surrounded them as the minutes continued to pass in blissful silence.
After what seemed like half an hour or so, the mother goddess gently separated from her daughter's hug.
Amaterasu also let go of her mother and looked back upwards, but unlike her mother, she cried quite a bit, evident by the tears spilling down her face even now.
“Why are you crying so much, Amaterasu? you aren't a child anymore”
The mother Goddess gave a chuckle as she smiled kindly while gently wiping her daughter's tear stained face.
There was no evidence of the bloodthirsty woman from earlier, as if the vengeful goddess that desired the world to burn was nothing but an illusion.
Her now returned sky blue eyes looked down at her daughter with immense kindness and maternal love, just like it always has been.
Amaterasu gave a small self deprecating chuckle as she looked up to her mother's kind smile.
Her heart ached as the past her mother had recounted to her moments ago resurfaced back into her mind, but she didn't let it cloud the smile she had on her face.
She always knew that her mother cared for nothing other than her children, the fact was practically common sense among those who knew the goddess of creation and death with no exceptions.
But it was only today did she finally understand the full truth.
They weren't just the source of her happiness, Izanami's children were her reason to continue living, losing them in any way, beit physical or emotional would amount to her death.
Amaterasu now understood, and after looking deep into the eyes of her mother, she silently swore to herself.
'Mother, I swear I'll find a way to give back the happiness you lost along the way, I'll search for a reason for you to continue living for, even if it took my entire life to do so’
But before doing that, she had to understand more, know more about her mother's past, how she was before the unfortunate accident that robbed her of her innocence, literally and figuratively.
But she couldn't just ask her mother, the sheer hatred demonstrated at the mere mention of her past was something that the god queen wanted to avoid subjugating her mother to anymore.
So, she has no choice but to ask the only other being she knew to have known her mother in the distant past.
“Mother, would you please allow me to make a request”
Amaterasu straightened back up and looked at her mother with a serious expression that was abruptly changed in place of her previous lax one.
The change appeared quite sudden, it even slightly startled the mother goddess slightly.
But upon seeing the glint in her daughter's eyes, that look of determination and perseverance that the god queen of the Shinto Pantheon usually had.
She returned to her usual calm and collected demeanor, the smile on her face diminishing until it vanished, replaced by a silent stare as she awaited to hear the matter that her daughter wished to discuss.
Amaterasu closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and with a determined look and a steady voice, she spoke again.
“I would like to meet the demon king, mother”
The words cut through the silence like a hot knife through hot butter, the sun goddess watched her mother flinch as she registered the words her daughter had just said.
Her face immediately confronted into a deep frown, she looked her daughter straight into the eyes with a particularly disapproving look, a look laced with a not so slight amount of annoyance visible in it.
But…contrary to what Amaterasu would have expected, her mother didn't immediately lash out at her, at least not yet.
“...How did you know that he was here, in this world?”
Izanami's voice was flat and quiet, her expression spoke nothing of her inner thoughts, at least excluding her annoyance and dislike to her daughter's request.
Which Amaterasu heard loud and clear, but despite her mother's apparent disapproval.
She had to do this.
“The demon king didn't put any effort in hiding himself, mother. His appearance in the devils’ most recent rating game immediately resulted in chaos ensuing across the divine realm”
“...Devils?”
“It was a rating game between two high class devils, he was introduced as a guest and an ‘honorary high-class devil’ to the audience”
“I heard that the Norse and Greek Pantheons have each suddenly shut off their realms, it was only due to my spies that I was able to gather enough information to actually know what was currently happening”
Her words were followed by silence that stretched tensely, as the god queen awaited the words of her mother.
Izanami silently contemplated the words of her daughter, she hadn't gotten out of this realm since her master had called her, so the things that her daughter spoke of were news to her.
She tried to guess the reasons behind her master's seemingly incoherent actions, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't justify him going to the underworld for something as insignificant as a mere game between two devil children.
Then came her daughter's request, for what reason did her daughter ask to meet the demon lord exactly? Was it ignorance that drove her to ask for something she had no way of even comprehending? Was it arrogance that made her feel comfortable asking to meet someone she didn't even have the capacity to understand, let alone be able to face without consequence.
She knew her daughter to be smart, she knew her daughter to be mature and level headed enough to understand the threat of someone who literally gave power to a Primordial deity.
Which made her even more perplexed, she didn't understand what reason could've made her daughter act with such recklessness.
So, she assumed it to be ignorance, she guessed that her daughter didn't truly understand the severity of such a request.
“My daughter, no matter what reason you have in mind, it isn't worth throwing yourself into the demon lord's clutches for”
She knew that the demon king wouldn't actively harm her children, because unlike all others of his kind, he didn't just move with the sole purpose of destruction on his mind.
But that didn't in any way diminish the threat of his existence, in fact it made it even higher.
Because predicting the action of a being with no known motives, especially someone as powerful as the demon king, was simply nigh impossible.
Izanami knew this, so she wanted her daughter to understand as well, she wanted her daughter to be as far away from potential danger as possible.
But what she didn't know was that Amaterasu understood, she may not have been present back when the demons first invaded, but the combination of her mother's words along with what she had heard and witnessed in the past few days made her understand the severity of the matter to an extent.
But she still had to do it, not for her people like she would likely claim to, not for herself, not for her fellow gods, not for the safety of the entire world.
But for her mother, she wanted her mother to feel happiness, genuine happiness, not the scraps she had barely clung onto during basically her entire life.
So she stared at her mother with conviction, conveying as much of her seriousness as possible, in hopes of convincing her mother of the words she's about to say.
And as much as she hated doing so, she had to lie to her.
“Demons are killing my people mother”
She spoke with a grave voice as she clutched her mother's hands tightly while staring at her eyes.
“I can't allow my people to be slaughtered at the hands of demons, help me so I could help my people”
The graveness in her voice grew as she stared at her mother's eyes, her turmoil pressuring the mother goddess more and more, forcing her to actually consider such a foolish action.
Until the dam finally broke, and against all better judgment, the mother goddess reluctantly agreed.
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