LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 147: Loser
That's right, folks, it's that time of the day! Ardio here, back at it again with the SCMNTTWSRGAPNF™ Radio Thingy, also known as Ardio Gaga. Thanks for introducing me to Earth music, Ava, but the previous song was not from that other world. It was today's Shadow Clone original, made by shadow clone number 53, as a tribute to her flying train. Speaking of 53, her train has been successfully cleaned, so the shadow clones who assisted with that shall be rewarded. Feel free to discuss what you will receive with either 53 or the Goddess of Life, both of whom can be found in 53's flying train.
In other news, no new names, somehow. Most of you sentient shadow clones have named yourselves, so we're waiting for the very few who seem to never return to the Shadowrealm, such as 300. So yeah, the new name portion of the announcements is very short, however, we do have a lot of announcements, particularly a lot related to some missing shadow clones and stuff related to the general chaos that Mendass seems to be going through.
Let's address that chaos, as most of you barely go out. So, the situation in Trogen, last we heard from both Deja and Kine, is that there was a hole in the sky and a giant rock lobster, so it is advised no one goes to Trogen. If you do not know which shadow clones are in Trogen and thus which ones to avoid, they are Deja, Kine, and Madine. It should be noted that that is what they last reported, as we have not heard from the three since two days ago. Number 118 has theorised that they may be in the Abyss because one of the last Sacred Powers seen by Physical Madeleine before they suddenly disappeared was Abyssal Magic, however, we cannot confirm that.
Aside from Trogen, you are advised not to approach Garwet Kingdom, Sacre Pla, and especially Cyst City. The Garwet Kingdom is currently being assimilated with Hell due to the actions of the Demon Lord that was with Chloe Darrow, that was supposedly assassinated. Sacre Pla is unsafe due to it bordering Garwet and also because Carte has been recently keeping watch on us shadow clones, and we would like to lose her eyes.
As for Cyst City, the Gods and Demons are having a war there, and more importantly, Light and Ava are there. They are kind of enemies, but recent events have muddled that, but what's important to note is that the Gods and Demons fighting there are very capable of permanently killing us, so please, do not enter Cyst City for your safety. There is happy news to be had from Light and Ava, as they plan to host a Shadow Clone family dinner at some point in the future, so for those with partners, you are free to bring them along.
The last three things to announce are as follows: Firstly, Darky will announce something soon, so be prepared for literally anything. She says it'll change how the world is going, and we all know that she can easily live up to her words. Secondly, be careful while traversing the Shadowrealm. For reasons unknown, there is a huge crack in the middle that is very deep. We have already lost three non-sentient shadow clones. It would be bad if we lost more.
The last announcement is that we have a bunch of missing shadow clones. The first is number 67, who was somehow convinced by her physical version to let her free, and now both are roaming about in the Shadowrealm. If you ever find Norika, please escort her immediately to the Sacred Power Holders Cells, then disperse the Shadow Clone of her using Umbrakinesis. The second missing is Cookie, who number 22 lost track of when they returned to Mendass. As per usual, be wary of her. The last missing shadow clone is 9, the one with the detective girlfriend. We… have no information other than that her partner, Shay, is also missing. It might be connected.
Now, it's everyone's favourite part of the show, where we guess the Sacred Power. I've explained it before, but I will not explain it again. I'm skipping right to the bets. It's a pretty big crowd today, especially since many of you shadow clones who spend time up above have retreated to the Shadowrealm to escape the chaos, but I don't blame y'all. Number 27 is betting her collection of juice bottles on "Fire Breath". You couldn't have picked a lamer Sacred Power. Number 12, like always, is betting a pet rat, but this time on "Zodiac". She says she's feeling lucky this time, but she has said that the other five times she lost a pet rat to Ark.
Speaking of Ark, we heard all of your complaints, and he is no longer allowed to bet in this game, so rejoice, fellow shadow clones, for you will not lose your bets. Although, this game still has a Sacred Power Holder participant since Pam has put a bet of seven obsidian blocks on the Sacred Power "Loser". He also said that he hadn't read the list and instead flipped through his dictionary, stopping at a random word. Like number 12, he said he was feeling lucky, but he probably isn't.
Since Ark was out, I decided to join the bets again. I know I swore off doing this after losing my favourite sceptre, my favourite music disc, and my favourite cup, but this time is different since Ark isn't participating. I'm betting my pair of Yeezys on "Orange". Don't ask how I got them, and don't ask about how I feel about Kanye right now. There are many more bets, which can be read on a list on the community noticeboard.
Anyways, the random Sacred Power Holder that was kidnapped was kidnapped by yours truly, so you better thank me for continuing this, especially since our usual providers, Deja and Rio, are gone. Now then, 3… 2… 1… I'm looking into his eyes.
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Loser You are a loser. Side Note: L. |
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Character profile: Derrick
Sacred power: Loser
Place on the Mendass leaderboard: 12,435,963rd
Description: What a fucking loser.
Chapter namesake: Loser by Grateful Dead
