Object of Obsession

"How's the pizza?" Myst asked between bites of her own slice.

"It's good. Kind of surprised we're having this for lunch though, most pizzerias don't open before noon..."

"One of the hazards of the job is that I kind of eat out a lot, so I know more than I probably should about the fast food joints in this town. I decided to go with pizza because it can be any meal and everyone loves it."

"...you had a craving."

"...I had a craving."

She smiled sheepishly at me and we continued to eat in companionable silence. I was still building myself up to be able to speak about my abduction, but for her part Myst just seemed content to be in my company, casting me small, happy glances every minute or so and making no effort to push the subject at all. I began to idly wonder about her. She wasn't that much older than me, so she couldn't have been the most experienced private investigator for hire. Why had dad decided to ask her of all people to take the case? Maybe there was more to her than meets the eye...

I was starting to slow down after my second piece, politely dabbing at my mouth with a napkin and getting up to wash my hands. Myst realized I was finished with lunch and clumsily put her fifth piece back in the box, following my example after I was finished with the sink. We returned to the futon, sitting half a cushion apart.

"Alright, Norma. I'm going to begin the recording again if that's okay."

"Yes, that's fine."

"This is your story to tell, so I'm going to let you tell it however you want. If you get stuck or need a push, I'll ask a question to guide you. And I'll reiterate that we can end the session at any time, so please don't force yourself to share anything if you don't want to."

"...okay. I think... I think I'm ready."

"Then go right ahead."

"Well... Quin made her move the first night I invited her over. We had gone shopping together that day along with my dad's girlfriend's kids I had just met, and Quin was kind of strong-armed into taking them along with us. Then while we were looking around, I ran into another friend of mine who was going through a really rough time, and I invited her over for supper as well."

"...I take it Quin didn't like you dividing your attention."

"She did not. My other friend and I, we, umm... My dad won't hear any of this, right?"

"Definitely not. It's for my use only. Unless my office were to be suddenly broken into or a lawyer somehow secures the audio file as evidence for some incredibly unlikely reason, there's no chance of anyone else ever hearing this conversation."

"Right, okay... well, my friend and I were working out some issues. One thing led to another, and I guess we ended up getting... intimate. W-we were trying to be quiet at first! But... I guess there's a pretty good chance Quin heard us, since the guest room was right next door."

If Myst had any opinions on the matter of my sexual escapade, they didn't show on her face. She merely waited for me to continue with the same patient smile.

"Anyway, that same night Quin must have snuck into my room and drugged me. I guess I forgot to lock the door... pretty stupid of me, huh?"

"I doubt a lock would have stopped her, what with all the aggravating factors at play. Don't worry about that."

"I guess you're right. Either way, I didn't wake up at all until she was already on the road. She had me strapped into this makeshift bed in the back of her van. It hadn't been there earlier in the night. I actually ended up vomiting all over it."

Myst wrote something rather lengthy into her notepad, and I waited patiently for her to finish.

"And this friend of yours... she wasn't hurt at all, was she?"

Her tone made it sound like a conclusion she'd already reached rather than a question.

"I don't think so. Not by Quin, anyway. She definitely has her own demons to deal with, but that's another issue entirely."

I was noticing that when it came to Quin, Myst already seemed to know a lot about her thought processes. Was this psychological profiling at work? Whatever it was, the PI was probably a lot sharper than I had first given her credit for.

"I went in and out of consciousness after that. Probably a combination of not actually getting any meaningful sleep and whatever drugs she used on me-"

"Chloroform, probably. Takes a surprisingly long time to knock someone out but that's not an issue with someone who's already asleep. Dangerous, but she would have known that. Considering her obsession with you, she probably limited herself to a very small dose just to extract you without the possibility of you waking up and screaming."

"Umm... probably..."

Myst's eyes widened as she realized what she had said.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I tend to lose myself to the details of the case and forget all about the human element. I didn't mean to sound so clinical."

"No, that's fine. Knowing Quin, I think you're probably right. They did a toxicology report on me after I was rescued, but that stuff was long out of my system by then, so it's actually kind of interesting to know."

"...you're too gracious, but thank you for understanding. Please, continue."

"Well, I barely remember much about the trip. I think she was using my phone to track who was trying to get into contact with me following my disappearance. My next tangible memory took place inside the house itself."

"She hadn't used any more drugs at that point, had she? But you were restrained."

"You're right about me waking up sober, though I felt dehydrated and nauseous. But believe it or not, I actually woke up entirely free to move around, and what's more, Quin was sleeping naked and defenseless beside me."

Myst seemed caught off-guard for the first time. Maybe she had underestimated Quin's devotion to me, but to be fair, within the next few hours things would proceed the way she had been expecting.

"Hmm, that's... unexpected. From the way you've spoken about her so far, I take it you didn't try to brain her and escape. So how did things end up the way they did?"

"You mean how did I go from nearly free to basically brainwashed? Well, I think in her mind, I was going to be overjoyed with what she had done. And to my credit, I did manage to keep my composure. My mistake was trying to make her see reason too quickly. I immediately asked if she realized she had overdone it with the whole kidnapping thing, and I think you know how well that turned out. She panicked, tasered me, and that's when the restraints, the drugs, and the suggestion training started."

Myst looked on with a tight smile, trying to be sympathetic while still remaining professional.

"This seems like a good place to take a break-"

"No. I want to- I need to talk about this. Please."

Myst brushed the hair out of her face and gave me a lopsided smile, briefly holding one of my hands in an encouraging gesture before quickly letting go.

"...if you're sure."

I smiled gratefully at her, and took a deep breath.

"When she started giving me the drugs I felt different immediately, but I was more conscious and aware of what was happening than I let on. So when the suggestion training started, I don't think it was my intoxication that was to blame for my eagerness. What she had done, the lengths she had gone to secure my love, the way nobody in this world but me meant a goddamn thing to her... I liked it. All of it. And I wanted more."

Myst could no longer maintain her professional facade. She shifted slightly uncomfortably, less out of disgust for what I had said and more because she had no idea how to properly react to it.

But god, it felt good to finally admit it.

"I'm not going to lie, even if she hadn't taken steps to prevent it, I'm not sure I would have ever left, not without convincing her to come with me, first. She had always been there for me when we were kids, and here she was wanting only to continue to be with me now. In the end, the brainwashing only ever served to reinforce the feelings I already had for her."

"...you're sure about that, Norma? There have been countless studies of hostage situations and the like showing that even without externally altering brain chemistry, people's minds will warp to think of their captors as gods. When your survival depends on the whims of a single person, that person will naturally become everything to you."

"...that's the thing, Myst. I never actually felt like I was in danger... not with her. I know how that sounds - yes, she tased me. But I'd bet my very life that Quin would sooner slit her own throat than even consider hurting me for real. I understand that she put me into trances to make her suggestions more effective, but I don't think there was a single one that I wouldn't have-"

I suddenly frowned, finally remembering that pleading, desperate request of hers that for some reason I had stubbornly refused to fulfill...

"...Norma?"

I realized there were tears rolling down my cheeks. I had been crying silently, too focused on trying to understand my thoughts back then to even notice.

"...I'm sorry. I just need a few seconds."

"Please, take your time."

Myst gave my shoulder a squeeze and went to grab me another water bottle. When she handed it over, she gave me a look asking if I wanted to quit, and I shook my head. She nodded and sat back down beside me.

"Anyway... what I'm getting at is, I missed my other friends and my family, but I ended up being perfectly happy with being able to make Quin happy. Just like old times, we were playing games together. I ended up being too clumsy to play Raid Fantasy partway through my captivity due to the drugs, but we just ended up playing simpler games. We even got an emulator of Sanic 2-"

"Hold on. She let you play a game with online communication capabilities?"

"Huh? Yeah, I guess."

"And you never thought to use it to reach out for help?"

"I didn't want to. Like I've been saying... I was happy. Especially when my mind started getting hazier and hazier. It was like Quin was my entire reason for living. I felt so close to her, like... This is it. This must be how she feels about me. It was incredibly intimate. And I won't go into too much detail, but... before long, she and I were. Very much so. Having sex became as natural as eating and sleeping for us."

An unreadable, complex expression passed through Myst, almost like curiosity and disdain had a lovechild that wasn't sure if it should have ever been born.

"Are you sure you're comfortable talking about this? I don't mean to discourage you, but most victims are not so eager to discuss their experiences with sexual assault."

"It didn't feel that way to me. I was eager for it, and luckily for me, Quin was good at it."

Myst sighed, looking uncertain for several seconds before turning her recording off.

"If you're sure, then... W-what kind of a lover was Quin?"

I had been pretty brazen about my experiences so far, but this question definitely caught me by surprise. I cocked my head and looked at Myst as if seeing her for the first time. That said, I knew I was unlikely to get another opportunity to share these saucy memories with anyone else, so I just pressed on.

"U-umm... well she was a giver, that's for sure."

Myst nodded sagely, as if she could continue acting professionally in this situation.

"I see. And, what did she..."

The blossoming of her scarlet blush as she failed to complete her sentence was extremely endearing. I couldn't help but finish it for her.

"What did she do to me? She made me feel good, whatever it took. I learned a lot about myself in those weeks, that's for sure. I can't deny the possibility that she had experience prior to our time together, but it's hard to imagine she'd have done those things with anyone but me. Regardless, she had a box full of sex toys in the closet of our bedroom, and we tried them all together. Once she narrowed down my favourites, she used them on me with extreme prejudice."

Myst seemed to be breathing ever so slightly harder than before.

"Uh, please tell me if I'm going into too much detail," I asked timidly.

Myst shook her head quickly.

"No, you're good! I mean, you can share as much as you're comfortable with, really..."

I had to keep my smirk to myself. Could Myst possibly still be... a virgin? That was kind of cute. I pushed through my embarrassment and continued.

"We had this routine, eventually. She would use a bullet vibrator and a strapon, and there was this certain rhythm she found that made me go crazy... she would bring me to the edge every time, then beg me to-"

I stopped reminiscing immediately. I was still uncertain about the reason for my actions back then, but I decided if I had told Myst this much, I may as well tell her everything.

"Umm... she would beg me to tell her I loved her. Desperately."

Myst turned serious on a dime.

"...I see. And did you?"

"...no, I didn't. Not that I can remember, anyway. It really hurt her, but I didn't really understand that at the time. I'd say I regret it, but... I'm still processing the whole thing."

Myst seemed almost relieved, but covered it up quickly.

"Right, then. Was there... anything else on the subject you wanted to share with me?"

"Ha ha... no, I'm good, I think. Honestly, I don't know what came over me! Sharing... that was really unprofessional, wasn't it?" I asked, deeply ashamed.

"Please don't ever feel bad for sharing your experience. Whether good or bad, however you decide to internalize those memories is valid."

She flipped the recorder back on.

"Is there anything else you wanted to share about your time with Quin?"

"No... I think I've got most of what I wanted to say off my chest."

"Okay then, I'm glad I was here to listen. I just have one question of my own, if I may."

"Oh? Go ahead, then."

"Did Quin have any interest in poems?"

"Poems? What do you mean?"

"Umm, how can I ask this... did she write poetry? Or possibly even speak in rhyme from time to time?"

"If that pun was intentional it was bad, but... no, not that I know of. Why do you ask?"

Myst seemed disappointed, but perked right back up.

"Ah, just a psychological profiling quirk I thought might apply here, but I may have been mistaken."

With that she turned the recorder back off and smiled brightly at me.

"Thank you so much for your time, Norma. Would you like me to give you a ride home?"

"Yes, please. Thank you for listening, Myst. I know it got off the rails there near the end, but I feel much better after having shared my experience with someone. I appreciate you taking this case for my dad, as well. I really hope you end up finding her."

"Me too, Norma. Me too..."

---

Once again, Myst found herself struggling to sleep. There was something about her conversation with Norma that had been... off. Myst was always very professional - her whole life was devoted to this work, after all. But despite her best efforts, she had found her focus drifting towards Norma without even being aware of it at first. With the right meditative techniques, however, she had been able to shrug off... whatever it was and continue as normal. She definitely hadn't expected Norma to be so candid about her intimacy with Quin, though. That had thrown her better judgement off yet again, reducing her to a mere gossip, excited to talk about sex with a high school girl. It was extremely unlike her, and Myst couldn't shake the feeling that there was something strange at play where Norma was concerned.

In the late hours of the morning, however, it wasn't Norma who kept her mind occupied... it was Quin, that small girl with an impossible amount of love to give. Friendless but for Norma, alone but for her nearly absent parents until their recent death, able to connect to the world only through technology, wanting nothing more than to be loved herself... she and Myst weren't so different, really. She had actually found herself growing jealous of Norma as she described being bathed in Quin's love, knowing full well how fucked up it was to want to take the place of the victim of a kidnapping. But Myst couldn't help but admire the fugitive's ingenuity, her intensity... in fact, the more she learned, the more fascinated she became.

Lack of solid leads be damned, Quin. I'm going to find you one way or the other, and when I do, I'll make you see that I am more than worthy of your attention...