My Refrigerator Turned Into A Dungeon

Dungeon Stampede 2.0 Commencement

Susanoo-no-Mikoto.

A god born from the nose of the great deity Izanagi-no-Mikoto, who created the Japanese archipelago by stirring the sea with the heavenly spear Ama-no-Nuboko.

Yes, Susanoo was born when Izanagi-no-Mikoto returned from the underworld and purified himself with a ritual cleansing, which included washing his mouth and hands. In the process, Susanoo just sort of popped out. Therefore, Susanoo was a rough god, even his name was given carelessly.

Born at the same time as the extraordinarily competent gods Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi, Susanoo was immediately regarded as ‘not a big deal', a name that evokes great sorrow for being easily dismissed.

Raised almost neglectfully by Izanagi-no-Mikoto, a DQN parent, it was unlikely that Susanoo to grow up properly.

Born with Izanagi's DQN DNA and the defiled power of the underworld, Susanoo was different from the other two gods who were born from the eyes. Born from the nose meant he carried multiple times the impurity power. Thus, his supernatural powers were expressed wastefully, drying rivers and withering vegetation with his tears of longing for his mother. This led to him being swiftly disowned by his father, who favored Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi.

However, after Izanagi-no-Mikoto returned to the heavens, Susanoo began to see his sister Amaterasu as a mother figure and clung to her, causing trouble with his childish antics to get her attention.

Susanoo was the first in the history of world mythology to develop and implement the ‘throwing poop attack'. This drove his sister Amaterasu into extreme neurosis, making her a recluse.

If it ended there, it would just be the tale of ‘the DQN child was indeed DQN', but the story doesn’t end there.

When the sun goddess Amaterasu secluded herself, the world was enveloped in darkness, and many evil things emerged. Enraged, the gods of heaven subjected Susanoo to purification rituals that were essentially torturous grooming procedures, promising never to return to the heavens, and banished him to the lower world.

This was Susanoo's second exile.

In the lower world, Susanoo encountered Kushinada-hime, who was about to be sacrificed to the eight-headed, eight-tailed serpent Yamata-no-Orochi. He decided to save her by confronting the monster.

In short, it was a manly ‘rather than letting the monster eat her, I’ll take her as my bride!' move.

Susanoo confronted Yamata-no-Orochi, not fighting fairly, but rather focusing solely on victory.

Upon learning from Kushinada-hime's parents that the serpent loved alcohol, he ordered them to welcome the serpent with plenty of sake. He had Kushinada-hime's parents prepare everything, exhibiting his domineering nature.

When the unsuspecting Yamata-no-Orochi got drunk on the welcoming sake and fell asleep, Susanoo leaped out and decapitated the serpent's heads one by one.

This was a refreshing yet deceptive ambush.

After defeating Yamata-no-Orochi, Kushinada-hime fell for the strong and kind Susanoo, and they married and lived happily.

"Hmm, that's the story…"

[Push, clack, gurgle…]

Serai-san, showing little interest in my story, pours canned coffee into the mouth of a giant cricket.

"Don't say that. Coach explained it so clearly…"

[Push, clack, gurgle…]

While speaking supportively, Nina also pours canned coffee into the mouth of a giant cricket.

"No, it's fine, Nina-san. I know I'm not a good storyteller…"

[Push, clack, gurgle…]

"No, your story was very informative, Coach!"

[Push, clack, gurgle…]

While Ruu supports me, she pours canned coffee into the mouth of a giant cricket.

"…Gah! Cough!?"

"Oh? It looks like the first one is done. Let's prepare the next one…"

We set aside the coffee-stuffed giant cricket bound by slime and prepare a new one.

Yes, what we're preparing is not the Eightfold Sake for Yamata-no-Orochi, but giant crickets stuffed with coffee to get the giant black spider drunk.

Yes, this is a vile act of sacrificing others to save ourselves. Even so, I instruct them to make the giant crickets drink coffee. I'll bear this sin. I swore to protect them.

Therefore, anything else is trivial to me.

If this were a zombie movie, I would be repulsed by those who sacrifice others to save themselves. But recently, we were blamed by refugees multiple times for avoiding such monsters.

Yet, there are times when you must act differently despite your thoughts.

Nietzsche said, ‘What is evil? It is all that springs from weakness.' If using such methods is necessary to defeat the giant black spider, we are evil, and the giant crickets used by us, the weaker ones, are also evil.

I dislike this way of thinking, but in an absolute survival situation, this is probably correct. However, this is not a story I'd want to hear in a school lesson.

…..

"Alright! Let's commence Operation Susanoo!"

"Yes! Deploying the first coffee cricket!"

At my command, the three of them advance with crickets under their arms, not bombs, throwing the giant crickets out through the broken supermarket window. Despite bearing the name of a god, it's an evil plan.

The giant cricket lands on the road and bounces and rolls slightly before some of the slime binding is released by magic.

[Wriggle… Squish, squish…]

The giant cricket, regaining its posture, tries to hop away. However, it can't jump well. Only one of its hind legs is freed.

Live bait must show liveliness to attract the prey.

"(I wonder if it will work…)"

"(If Coach thought of it, it'll work, Machi!)"

"(…But it seems to lack movement…)"

From the shadow of a tilted display shelf, the three beautiful college girls in suits, fully masked for battle, watch the scene outside. From behind, their sneaky behavior looks a bit comical.

[Squish, squish…]

On the road, 12-13 meters away, the giant cricket hops. Knowing the danger of open spaces, it tries to move away on one leg.

"(…It's not biting)"

"(Hmm, what did we do wrong?)"

"(There's no reaction, it's a failure… Ah!!)"

[Shhhhh!]

Just when it seemed the giant black spider would ignore the cricket and it would escape, the spider descended at tremendous speed.

It didn't just descend; it instantly grabbed the cricket and bit off its head. It happened in the blink of an eye.

[(Chomp, chomp… squish, squish…)]

"(What is it doing?)"

"(Oh, it's injecting digestive fluid to dissolve the insides. Spiders eat by sucking out the insides, Ruu.)"

The giant black spider, starting its meal immediately, showed no need to move to a safer location.

"…It looks like eating a split ice pop."

"Yeah, and it's holding it carefully with both front legs… Surprisingly well-mannered, isn't it?"

Serai-san and Nina-san, watching the giant black spider, are impressed by its behavior.

Indeed, the spider, carefully holding its meal, seems to embody the spirit of ‘itadakimasu'. Unlike the giant locusts, which ate messily, it looks very polite.

"Coach, should we sneak out now?"

Ruu, noticing the giant black spider is focused on eating, stops whispering.

"Hmm… It seems like a chance. With hornets, once they start eating, they lose focus, so it might work… Alright, let's throw the second coffee cricket and observe."

"Yes! Deploying the second coffee cricket!"

Ah, Ruu is so obedient. She does exactly as instructed…

To protect her and everyone else, we should proceed with caution.