Learning to Love Time Loops Without Going Insane

“Hey there, we’ve got a repair order for the condenser unit,” Harold said to the secretary. This was his plan A: a couple of HVAC technician outfits, a pair of sunglasses, and a hat for Twonger. If it weren’t for the distraction of the ongoing invasion, he doubted this would have had any chance of working, but the secretary barely looked up at them.

“Oh good I guess, not sure it matters with the aliens, but these guest badges will get you through the doors,” she said, not looking up as she passed two laminated cards across the counter to them.

“Thanks,” Harold said, ushering Twonger past the desk towards the elevators.

“Huh, I was really expecting a fight, kinda hoping for it too. I hate the sneaky shit. It’s so boring,” Twonger said the moment the elevator door closed.

“You may hate it, but there are only two of us, so we need to use every resource at our disposal, and my skillset is strongly in favor of stealth, not combat, but yes, if it comes to fighting, we will do what is needed,” Harold said.

“Hey, I’m here too!” a small voice called from a bag Twonger was carrying.

“Sorry, Trashcat, the three of us,” Harold replied.

“Thank y…” Trashcat’s attempt at gratitude was interrupted by a rocking explosion that killed the lights in the elevator for a moment before the emergency lighting kicked on.

“What the fuck was that?” Twonger asked.

“I assume the battle has reached us, so you are likely about to get your wish. Can you pull these doors apart? Whatever hit the building stopped the elevator,” Harold explained. Hopefully, the damage was superficial, and they weren’t about to find a side of the building missing.

A shining silver blade appeared in Twonger’s hand, and he forced it into the crack between the doors. The sword’s color shifted from silver to bright red as he began to twist it, slowly forcing the doors apart. Sizzling energy flowed from the blade into the metal of the doors and was soon followed by a popping sound somewhere inside the elevator’s internal mechanisms. Twonger then reached forward and quickly pulled the doors the rest of the way open. “Looks like I can,” he said as he stepped through, careful not to trip on the ledge that had been created due to the elevator not stopping perfectly on a floor.

As they entered the stairwell, the sound of a fight became obvious far below. “So, is it the Agency after me or the Gryalth after you?” Harold asked as they climbed as fast as they could.

“Why not both?” Twonger turned around and dropped two of the grenades down the center of the open stairwell. Their fall ended in an explosion a few seconds later. Either way, that should slow them down a bit.”

“Are there any side effects to this injection? Not that it fully matters, I suppose, but are you going to have to fight our way out of here without my help?” Harold asked.

“Nah, I didn’t really feel any different,” Twonger answered.

“I did! It was strange; suddenly, I just seemed to understand things. It’s hard to explain, though,” Trashcat said from her bag.

“Those are two very different answers. Has anyone actually tried this on a human yet, or is it just aliens and animals?” Harold asked. The answer didn’t really matter to him, but he was trying to distract himself from whatever was happening below.

“Well, so far, there was me, Many Eyes, Twonger, and uh, huh, nope, I think it’s just you next. Don’t worry, uncle Andrew is pretty good at science. Everything should be fine,” Trashcat said.

“She ain’t kidding, for a planet full of idiots, Andrew seems to understand what’s going on,” Twonger added.

“Well, this is our floor. Let’s go find the lab and get this over with then,” Harold said, reaching for the door handle. But before he could open it, it was pulled open from the other side, revealing the faces of several armed guards and a teenager.

“You must be Harold, and I believe your name is Twonger. Nice to meet you both,” said the teen.

“And who the hell are you?” Twonger asked.

“Isn’t it obvious, Twonger? This is one of the Agency members in the loop. Apparently, he decided he wanted to meet us face to face, but why?” Harold asked.

“I know the meeting you had with Clark went poorly, so I wanted to extend another offer. Especially now that you’ve seen the threat we are facing. It’s probably too late for this loop, but maybe not. So, in the next loop, why not join us? Help us save the world,” The kid said.

“Look, it’s tempting, it really is. That whole saving the world part seems like something I want, but do you understand the problem here?” Harold asked.

“No, why don’t you explain it,” the kid answered.

“How can I ever trust an organization that would kidnap my granddaughter?” Harold signaled to Twonger as he said this.

“A pity, really. Kill them both,” The kid ordered the guards.

“Yeah, ain’t gonna happen,” Twonger said, swinging the blade wide in front of them. Energy rippled off it, forming a barrier. The guards still tried to fire their weapons, with each shot ricocheting off the barrier and finding a home in the corridor walls.

“Dammit, I need ogres now!” the kid yelled into a radio as he ran down the corridor away from them. He wasn’t nearly fast enough to escape the blade Twonger pulled from his pack and launched after him. With a loud thud, the blade found its mark, pinning the now-dead kid to the wall.

“Here, take this and go find what ya need. I’ll handle this,” Twonger said, passing the pack and carrier that held Trashcat to Harold. He charged forward into the guards the moment he had done so, slashing out with his strange sword at the nearest one of them.

Wasting no time, Harold used the distraction to run through the brawl and down the corridor himself, stopping only briefly to memorize the face of the kid and check his pockets for anything to identify him. As he expected, there was nothing. The kid would have been a terrible agent if he had been that easily identifiable.

“Bart says the item is en route,” Trashcat yelled from the carrier as they pushed open the door to where it should be entering their universe, just in time to see a small oblong egg fall out of a crack that vanished the milliseconds later.

From one of the monitors in the room, Harold heard a news reporter say something about several cities being decimated as the nuclear strikes had failed. That likely meant there was no time to spare as he grabbed the egg, cracked it open, and shoved the needle into his neck. Twonger had been right. Other than the usual pain, he didn’t feel any different.

Moments later, the building rocked again, this time much harder, and Harold felt himself start to fall. Then he felt a hard pain in his head, and everything went black.