Lament of the Fallen

Dee and Noyala had arrived at their meeting place with Razark a little early. This was despite wasting some time trying to shake the pursuit of the soldiers Dee had been distracting during Noyala’s fight. Normally they should have been able to escape much easier, but Noyala had suffered from a backlash due to utilizing her totem during the fight, and as such was moving much slower and was suffering from cramping muscles that refused to work right. She had not explained the reason she got injured, but Dee wasn’t stupid. She had not listened in on what Noyala and the commander had talked about, but she had seen what had happened and could guess the rough reason. Neither chose to speak about it.

Once they had shaken off the pursuit, Dee had created a portal back to the meeting place. After arriving safely, she had spent some time applying healing to Noyala. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the healing wasn’t all that effective due to the reason Noyala got hurt. What was effective however, or at least pleasant, was when Dee promised to give Noyala a proper massage to relieve the muscle cramps. Dee had learned many of the tricks used by Nessera, and used them liberally but very carefully while performing the massage. She shamelessly used the succubus trick of letting out a lot of pheromones while making her massage a bit more pleasurable than was strictly necessary. All in the name of helping Noyala deal with the pain of course.

Noyala had noticed the little tricks as she felt almost drunk during Dee’s ministrations, but decided to allow Dee to continue with her shenanigans since they were working. She also needed a distraction from the fact that she had just avenged her friend. Once her own condition improved, she wanted to return the favor as another form of distraction. Though she wasn’t offering a massage exactly. That was also the time Razark decided to show up. He was also a little early for the meeting.

He couldn’t help but look on questioningly as Noyala was using a brush to go through Dee’s fur and tails while Dee was in her full kitsune form. The image was more than a little amusing. A rather slim Sidhe woman brushing the tails of a monster larger than a bear, while said monster’s feet were twitching involuntarily from the pleasure of it. All in all, Dee looked a little like a sleeping puppy chasing something in her sleep. “I’m not even going to ask.” He said simply as he walked closer to the duo.

“Good, because I wouldn’t answer.” Dee replied languidly, with her eyes still closed. “So how did it go? Did you find out what’s going on?”

Razark grimaced a bit. “Yes and no. I figured out that it likely isn’t a member of the four courts that is holding something over the grandmaster. I get the feeling that this has something to do with the forest itself. There are several groves all over the forest, closely guarded by the four courts and the more wild denizens of the forest. I was given the impression that those are involved somehow, but I can’t be sure since no one I talked to is able to give straight answers. That or they just plain don’t know. Even I can’t sneak into the groves to see what’s inside, and I don’t think I should try to force my way in just yet. Not before we can find out more.”

“Noyala, are you sure you can’t tell us more?” Dee pressured a bit, emphasizing her words by wagging her tails at the woman still holding the brush.

The Sidhe woman sighed deeply, before giving in a little. “I can reveal a bit, but realize that there are consequences if I try to say anything more. I may not be prevented from talking like your grandmaster is, but if word got out that I told you, then I’d be in even deeper trouble than I already am. We are approaching what are considered almost racial secrets and anyone revealing them would be considered a traitor to the race as a whole. Razark is on the right path, and he is also correct in assuming that trying to force entry into the groves is a bad idea.” She considered for a short moment before continuing. “That’s partly how I got cursed.”

This got their attention. Razark narrowed his eyes and took a deeper look at Noyala. As an immortal himself he could feel the faint presence of a totem inside her, as well as something blocking Noyala’s access to it. “I see.  Something powerful enough to go against immortals. I assume my fate would be similar?”

“That slightly depends.” Noyala hedged her words. “Just entering the groves is not enough, and the groves are not all the same. Depends on which grove you’d pick and what you would do once you got there. Still, it would not be healthy in the best of cases.”

Dee suddenly voiced another matter from the side. “I’ve been thinking this for a bit now. The rumors said that the heir apparent for the position of a Winter Queen is immortal. That wouldn’t have anything to do with you, now would it?”

Noyala put the brush down with another sigh, knowing she had to explain some things she had kept a secret so far. “I can’t say it has nothing to do with me, but you might be confusing things a bit. I’ve heard some of the rumors and information your order has gathered. It’s not wrong exactly, but they have some things and people confused because they don’t have the correct information. So depending on which rumors you’re referring to, it might or might not have something to do with me.”

“Explain.” Razark demanded. Just this tidbit was not helping.

“Well, from what I can see the rumors have several people mixed into a single heir apparent, though I can partially see why. The whole thing is so mired in plots that even the elves of the Spring and Autumn court aren’t fully clear on the current situation, and they are the most likely source of all your information. Rumors tend to get twisted in re-telling after all. There’s an heir apparent supported by the oldest noble houses, but she’s not an immortal and she never will be without the Authority. She could in normal circumstances take the position and the current Queen likes her as well, but she can’t do it currently for various reasons. This is where things get mixed up. The overwhelming favorite for the kingship, the Smiling Prince, doesn’t want that heir apparent as queen. He wants my sister. Or at least he thinks he does. My parents are trying to get my sister on the throne and she is immortal just like I used to be. She would take the position but doesn’t want the Authority for the same reasons I wouldn’t take it. She’s also not that keen on marrying the prince, but that’s more on principle than any personal distaste.” Noyala gave a quick version of the situation.

There were several gaps in what she said that the other two noticed. “You said, he thinks he wants your sister. But not really?” Razark was doing the questioning, while Dee was satisfied with whatever Noyala chose to share.

“Well, the Prince fell in love at first sight. The only problem is, he has never met my sister.” Noyala was thoroughly ashamed when saying this.

“What? How?” Razark couldn’t figure it out.

Dee however could. “You wouldn’t happen to be twins, now would you?”

Noyala pointed at Dee. “You got it in one. We are an example of something that extremely rarely happens to Sidhe, which is partially why the prince can’t even imagine the possibility. The prince saw me once when I was on a mission. Officially though, my family doesn’t even have a daughter like me, as I’m meant to just be a shadow that helps my sister to the throne. A knife in the dark that clears her path. They didn’t bother asking my opinion about that. Instead they simply trained her for the position, and threw me into the shadow training, just because my sister was born first. That’s another thing that is making things hard. In theory, the Queen doesn’t mind my sister taking the throne either. The problem is my presence. Just like they can’t just make the first heir I mentioned the Queen because my sister is too powerful and has my parent’s backing, they can’t make my sister the Queen either because I’m too strong. I don’t have my parent’s support, but the nobles that are against my sister would use me as a standard against my will instead.”

“You were supposed to be a shadow, but you became too strong. Thus your presence became a hindrance instead of being helpful like a shadow should be.” Razark pointed out. He also couldn’t quite get over the fact that two sisters from the same family had both become immortal when the empire as a whole didn’t have any besides the king and the queen. Though with the two being twins it made a bit more sense. They both had the same talent.

“Right. Now I’m a semi-legitimate competitor for the throne, even though I really shouldn’t even exist. At least in the minds of those aware of my existence, which isn’t too many fortunately or unfortunately. Or at least that’s how things were until I got cursed. That’s not even considering either the prince’s opinion if he finds out, or my sister’s unwillingness to take the Authority or the prince’s hand in marriage. Add on top the internal struggles over the politics of each candidate, and you have a real mess. The current heir is a status quo candidate, which is why the old houses like her. My sister is for the empire taking a more hostile and active stance against our surroundings, which makes her popular with many others besides the nobility as well as the Autumn court. Dee knows my thoughts, but no one else cares about those.” Noyala explained with a sigh.

“Well, that really is a real mess.” Razark pointed out the obvious.

“What does whatever is inside the groves think?” Dee suddenly asked, realizing the implications that might have.

“I can’t say. I’m cursed though, so that says something.” Noyala replied.

They were all quiet for a long time, thinking about what to do next. Finally, Razark shook his head and decided to move on for now. “So how did things go on your end? The forest wasn’t burnt down yet, so it couldn’t have been all bad.”

“Yet. There’s still tomorrow.” Dee joked. “We achieved the first part of Noyala’s goals. There’s still more to do, but we took the first step.” She didn’t explain any specifics, leaving that option open to Noyala, who in turn decided not to elaborate.

“We’ll need to rest for a while.” Noyala pointed out instead. “Things went our way, but not easily. We need to recover a bit. Then we’ll need to aim for the court, I think. We won’t be able to progress things simply lurking on the fringes from this point on.”

Razark suddenly remembered something. “Speaking of rest, I had the strangest visit from the god I serve last night.”

Dee suddenly looked up. They had never spoken of Razark serving a deity before. As a member of the order, he must serve one though. “You never told me which god you serve.” She pointed out.

“Ah, right, I didn’t. Probably because it rarely matters. I serve an Alpyran god of war and hunt called Wurrukatte. He is a minor deity only worshipped by our race, so my blessing is rather minor as well.” Razark explained. He barely qualified as having holy power, which is why it never came up.

“Wait, the Alpyrans have their own god of war?” Dee realized she had always assumed there would be a god of war that oversaw all the war gods like Lumen was the premier light deity. Now that she thought about it further, she had never heard of a war deity being in the top ten most powerful gods, and there really should be if there was such a premier war god.

Razark gave a small laugh. “Seeing your blessings, I can see why you would be confused. The war deities are a little special because all races, nations, and clans tend to have their own war deity. Unlike with many other areas, there is no one unified war deity, because everyone has their own idea of such a deity. One common idea between all of them though is that such deity should only bless them and no one else. The ideas of different races and nations conflict too much. Such deity would also have too much power, so the other gods prevent the birth of a unified god of war.”

“That sounds stupid and cowardly.” Dee said rather bluntly. “Anyway, you were about to tell about the visit from your god.”

“Right, so apparently Wurrukatte has been delegated into becoming a messenger. Your deities want to have a word with you. So tonight you’re supposed to give a prayer before going to bed so that they can pull you to them in your dreams.” Razark replied, a little amused at the whole thing.

“Goddesses damn it. What do they want now?” Dee cursed.

---------

Dee found herself once again in the normal looking temple with the statue of Lumen, with the goddess herself sitting on a shrine of another deity, bouncing her legs against the side of the shrine like a child. This little temple was similar to the one where she had received the blessing in the first place, so the place was fairly logical for such a meeting. The goddess looked very amused, and Dee could guess why.

“Really? That counted as a proper prayer in your mind?” Lumen asked with amusement. “Yadda yadda, Lumen, Umbra, old man and Death, yadda yadda. That’s a direct quote by the way.”

“I think that conveyed the essential parts.” Dee replied with a shrug. “You’re the one who asked me to come so…”

“Well, at least you put my name before my sister’s.” Lumen pointed out with a slight bit of victorious smile.

The voice of another goddess sounded from the surrounding air. “That was just because your name comes first alphabetically. That doesn’t count.”

“Hush now, it’s my turn first.” Lumen shot back. “Just because we’re not meeting in my domain doesn’t mean you get to butt in.” It was clear she ignored Umbra’s point and decided to count the small victory.

Dee cleared her throat to draw the attention back to her. “So why am I here?”

“Ah right, that. Well, it seems you are determined not to explore our blessings properly and it would be kind of bad if you didn’t learn to use at least a significant part of them before becoming immortal. So the old man has given us a special dispensation to give you a little push in the right direction. That and it would actually be helpful to you in your current predicament. Also, our meddling is kind of messing with your natural abilities and the blessings are supposed to be beneficial after all.” Lumen explained.

Umbra once again interjected with just her voice. “What she means is that her blessing is becoming a problem and the old man is allowing her to fix the problem. To maintain the balance, I’m also allowed to help you understand my blessing a little better.”

Dee turned to look at light goddess meaningfully. Lumen just gave a small cough and proceeded to ignore the look while explaining. “So you might have wondered what’s going on with your shapeshifting abilities, considering that kitsune are supposed to be extremely good at that. Well, you remember how the high priest gave you hints about our blessings and told you part of mine was ‘Body and Mind of Light’? Well, the problem is that my blessing partially deals with changing your body and it’s powerful enough that the kitsune racial ability was absorbed by it. You’ve been trying to change shape as a kitsune, and have succeeded to an extent, but what you should have done instead was to try and empower the change with the holy power you got from me.”

Dee’s eye twitched in annoyance. “So what’s the difference?”

“Well you might have noted that your more angel-y bits try to resist change, and that’s because you aren’t using my power. When you do that the resistance will go away. You should also find it much easier to change shapes. The normal limitations still apply in general, but less stringently and you can maintain a more drastic change with my power. There are limits as the building pressure to return to your normal form will increase the drain on your holy power, but with the amount you have access to you shouldn’t have too much trouble unless you try something silly like changing your body entirely to something foreign or try to retain another shape almost permanently.” The goddess looked almost proud, so Dee decided not to deflate her mood and just sighed in resignation.

“I’m assuming this is happening now because of me having to enter the court with Noyala and need to change shape? Anything I should know?” Dee asked instead.

“No, this little quest of yours is not something we have seen in your future. We only know that whatever happens will change you in a profound way. That’s why we decided to help now, so hopefully, the change is positive. Also, like I said, it would be a little problematic if you didn’t learn to use the blessings better before becoming immortal. You’re being torn in so many directions that you haven’t had time, we realize that. Still, the blessings might become your most important assets if you let them.” Lumen explained. “Also I felt a little bad my blessing was becoming a problem instead of help.”

“Ok, my turn.” Umbra’s voice suddenly sounded and Dee found herself in the palace of darkness where she had met Umbra before. The beauty of the surrounding darkness was still surprising and enticing to her.

“Why thank you. Darkness is supposed to be enticing if a little scary. That’s partially the point.” Umbra said, sitting on a small and delicate looking chair made of sheer dark void.

“So, you get to tell me something.” Dee decided to ignore the fact her mind was being read again and moved on.

“Right. Thanks to my sister’s blunder. It’s a bit of a shame that you’ve only decided to use the shadows for hiding and enhancing your weapons. I was hopeful that you were on the right track when you started storing your weapons and armor inside, but you didn’t follow that thought further. What I can tell you is this. The shadows are alive. Command them. You’re the Queen and Lance of the Dark after all.” Umbra mentioned the title revealed by the priestess before. The goddess continued. “While the shadows can hold or enhance your weapons, they can also become your weapon and not just one you hold in your hand. Also, remember that the shadows are connected and deep.”

“That’s a bit vague.” Dee pointed out.

“Yeah, the old man gave us some constraints. We were given a choice. We can be vague and tell you more, or we can be more direct but narrow in focus. My sister chose the latter while I chose the former. I have faith in your intelligence, so I’m just pushing you in the right direction, while my sister had to be content with fixing her blunder. Although she did try to cheat a little. I’d pay attention to what she said once you wake up.”

Dee found herself being pushed out of the dream. Once again the deities just did what they wanted, and then threw her out. That was starting to wear on her patience.