Lament of the Fallen

Dee was staring wistfully at the portal gate. Noyala had just left to face her own battle in the Winter court, and it might be a very long time before they saw each other again, if they ever did. Dee had grown a little since the last time she had faced loss in the romantic sense. She knew that the time she and Noyala had spent together had been short. Too short for genuine and deep feelings to form. She had grown enough to understand that what she was feeling now wasn’t the pain of losing what she currently had with Noyala, which was a vague relationship between a friend and something more. More a fascination and desire than true love. What she was feeling was the pain of losing what could have been.

She shook her head to chase away those thoughts. After all, she had her own fight to go to. She had promised to delay Noyala’s sister and as the most likely candidate to take the crown, she probably wouldn’t be alone. This was further shown by how she and Noyala’s parents had chosen to stay in the same fort outside the city of Ordos Dee had broken into earlier. There would be an escort. Luckily Dee didn’t have to fight to win because that would be too much to ask. All she had to do was delay them.

As she was about to utilize the portal gate, she heard a voice call her from behind. “How about we come along dummy disciple.” Dee could see the old man leading the other three immortals towards the gate as she turned.

“I thought you guys didn’t really care for the internal politics of the Winter court and wanted to stay out of this one? The involvement of four immortals, three formerly from the order, being bad and so forth? ” Dee asked a little surprised. The group of four immortals had silently indicated as much earlier. They had not actually mentioned the last part, but it was implied.

“Well, let’s just say I changed my mind a bit. Strictly speaking, we aren’t going there to meddle in the internal struggle of the courts, but to protect you. The empire is a bit dangerous for all of us, but especially for you at the moment. Besides, weren’t you going there to just delay a person? Our presence might stop things from turning into a fight, which both sides might prefer.” The old man suggested. What he didn’t mention was that he had a hunch, and that hunch might lead to bad things for Dee if it came true.

Dee shrugged. “Well, I certainly won’t turn down the help of this magnitude. I was a little worried about successfully delaying an immortal and her likely guards by myself.”

“Well let’s get to it. The quicker we get this done, the quicker we can put the whole affair with the empire behind us.” The old man said, pushing her towards the portal. They would use that to get closer to the forest and then use Dee’s portals to get to where they wanted to go. With the aura of the Tree of Life on them, they couldn’t use any of the portals within the empire anyway.

“You sure you wouldn’t prefer just using one of Dee’s portals the whole way?” Razark asked with an amused expression. He was teasing the old man.

“Shut it idiot disciple. You know damn well the things make me feel nauseous.” The old man shot back. That was one of the reasons they would only use Dee’s portals for shorter hops. The old man quickly found out that the weightless space combined with a lack of footholds inside Dee’s portals made him sick.

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Dee lounged on the road between the fort and the city of Ordos in her kitsune form. This was the form the elves and Sidhe had seen her in while they escaped after the death of the Tree of Life. ‘Well, the charred version of this form anyway.’ Dee thought idly. With the heavy aura from the Tree announcing her identity anyway, there was no point in having her other forms revealed. The inhabitants of the forest would find out later anyway as they could connect her kitsune form with her normal form through some elven members of the Order of the Radiant Sun. That said there was no need to volunteer information and make things easy. She expected that there would be a bounty on her head soon enough, and while the elves of the forest could sense her presence, a random bounty hunter wouldn’t be able to do the same.

A formation of Sidhe cavalry rounded the nearby bend at walking speed. In the middle of the formation was a carriage with ornate decorations. This was also a test of sorts. Dee wanted to see how close she would need to be before the Sidhe could sense the power from the Tree of Life. Apparently rather close since the Sidhe saw her first after rounding the corner that was about a hundred mel away. She had been monitoring them with her senses and they had made no indication of sensing her before they saw her.

The front soldiers moved towards her rather aggressively but stopped almost as soon as they did. There was a weird look of recognition in their eyes. ‘So about hundred mel for people of their level at least.’ Dee thought to herself. That was actually further than she had assumed.

The soldiers that had moved towards her backpedaled to report what they had felt to their officers who seemed to be ready to lead a charge against Dee. A voice from the carriage stopped them however and a person stepped out. Dee had to shake her head a bit to clear her mind once she saw the person who had revealed herself. The likeness with Noyala was stunning. Dee had seen twins before, but to see the twin of someone she had at least a certain level of feelings towards was a little different.

The woman approached Dee alone, against the protestations of her guards. As she got closer Dee started to see some differences between the woman and Noyala. It was an interesting contrast. While Noyala felt every bit the shadow that she was trained to become, this woman had an air of grace and nobility about her. Not the haughty type of nobility, but the type that made it clear she knew her power and position and had earned it. It was also amusing to see that while Noyala preferred dark and purple clothing, her sister seemed to be partial to white. She also seemed a smidgen taller than Noyala, most likely due to environmental reasons.

“Do excuse my guards. Unlike me, they can’t feel the presence of your companions. They can’t feel your power either, so they are under the erroneous belief that they might be able to win and avenge the Tree of Life. A rather silly notion if you pause to give it any real thought. How could they fight something capable of destroying the tree?” The woman said with a rather pleasant smile.

“An understandable reaction. Besides, it allowed me to test some things, so it was actually useful.” Dee replied in an amiable tone. If her counterpart was going to be civilized about this, then she could return the favor. Talking was much easier to do as a delaying tactic than fighting and achieved the same result.

“Judging by the fact that we were not ambushed and that your friends are staying out of sight, your purpose here is not to kill me. Would that be a fair assessment? Yes, I thought as much. So you’re here most likely to delay me, correct? My sister must be making her play at the court as we speak.” The woman seemed rather unperturbed by the whole situation.

The plan Noyala had made relied on a quirk of the Winter court. The more power one had and the more important one was to the proceedings of the day, the later they arrived to official gatherings. It was a show of force. If they could force the others to wait even when they were late, then that proved their importance. The others could not make a decision without their presence. It might not have been a smart habit as a whole, but it was something the members of the court abided by. Since Noyala’s sister was crucial to today’s proceedings, she would arrive very late. And in the meantime Noyala gave them an alternative, making it clear that her sister was not as important and was grossly misjudging her relevance. The court loved to strike back at those that overestimated their importance.

“We might as well make ourselves comfortable. We will be here for a while.” Dee’s response was not a direct answer, but it implied that the other woman was right.

Noyala’s sister signaled her entourage who pulled a chair and a table out of nowhere and placed them near the spot where Dee was laying down patiently. It seemed the woman was not in a rush. She was even sipping some tea brewed by a servant that had also exited the carriage and was now standing by ready to serve. “Ah, I just realized. We haven’t even been introduced yet. If we are to spend this bit of time together, we might as well know who we are spending time with. My name is Eilian Ruadháin.” Noyala’s sister introduced herself.

Dee made a wolfish grin. “As your informants have no doubt already told you, my name is Haydee.”

Eilian gave a small smile of acknowledgment. “I’m curious. What name did my sister introduce herself with? Knowing her, I’m guessing she didn’t use her real one and I wouldn’t want there to be any confusion.”

“Noyala.” Dee replied with a small shrug. A movement that looked a little disconcerting when performed by a creature of her size and shape. Her wings were hidden as there was no need to reveal them, but she was still huge.

The name brought a gale of laughter from Eilian, and a small smile even from the stoic servant. “Something funny?” Dee asked a little confused.

“Oh, it would be a little difficult to fully explain the full nuance why that is so amusing. As you probably guessed by now, that’s not her real name. It’s mine actually.” Eilian explained with a smile that was difficult to describe. Dee could sense amusement, but also many other emotions hidden behind it. Among those emotions was regret.

“That’s not the name you gave just before.” Dee pointed out, a little thrown off by the information. She had expected that Noyala was a fake name, but the other part was unexpected.

“That would be because it’s my childhood name. We Sidhe are given a name once we are born. We shed that name when we step into adulthood and are ready to assume our proper identity, at which point we take a new name. It’s something to help us leave the mistakes and vagaries of childhood behind. We all make mistakes when we are young and don’t know any better. The new name symbolizes that we are no longer the foolish person that made those mistakes. I find it a little amusing that my sister decided to assume my childhood name when dealing with you, though considering how harsh her childhood must have been that might be understandable.” Eilian explained and was quiet for a while.

“I really do feel bad for her, you know? My sister I mean. We might as well call her Noyala since she chose to be called that.” She continued with a sigh. “Truth be told I would have preferred to have a real sister instead of…whatever she became. It was not my choice to make, however. By the time I was old enough to understand and have any say in things, it was already too late. She already resented me, and the damage had already been done.”

“Is that why you don’t seem fazed to be stalled here? Or are you so certain that she will fail?” Dee asked, not really sure how to feel about what she had been told.

“Yes and no. I’m fairly certain she can sway the court. Especially since you killed off some of my most important supporters.” Eilian fingered the earring and chain that all Sidhe wore. “Are you aware of the dedicated paths we Sidhe usually take?”

“Somewhat. You dedicate yourself to pursuing perfection in one area for hundreds, maybe even thousands of years until you feel you have reached your limits.” Dee replied.

“This path to royalty or even power was never truly my choice. I dedicated myself to the path and excelled at it despite my wishes. If I start something I want to do it to perfection, as is the habit of our people. But the path was chosen for me by my parents. Can you guess what path I would have chosen if I was given the choice? I would have dedicated myself to become a painter. So you see, it’s not that I can’t win against my sister, though that is also true as things stand, but that I don’t want to win. Why would I stake my life to challenge you and your friends for something I don’t truly desire? It’s ironic, isn’t it? My sister is so determined to take something from me that I don’t even want myself. Our parents? They will deal with it. They just wanted their daughter to become the Winter Queen. Does it truly matter to them which one? I doubt it.” Eilian was looking at the horizon but not really seeing it as she explained.

“Is that why you kept turning down the prince that now became the new Summer King? The reason this whole succession thing became such a mess in the first place?” Dee asked.

Eilian gave a sideways glance at Dee. “I see, you might have not even realized it. Do you think it was an accident that the prince fell for my sister and then transferred that affection to me? My sister caused that situation quite on purpose, knowing full well I would never accept his affections and what that would lead to. I don’t think you quite understand to which extent the events were manipulated by her. You do realize she was using you this whole time, right? She probably told you a very moving story about being the target of so much evil to get you to help.”

Dee didn’t dignify that question with an answer. Why was it that people assumed she was just a hapless tool that didn’t know she was being used? Yes, Noyala had told her a story which might or might not be entirely accurate about her childhood and the ambush. That wasn’t why Dee helped her though. Dee had helped Noyala for many reasons, because it coincided with the mission of the grandmaster, because that was what the Threads of Fate asked, because she knew she would become stronger doing it and most importantly because she could. She wasn’t some knight in shining armor to be manipulated by a vixen masquerading as a damsel in distress.

Eilian slightly misunderstood Dee’s silence. “You don’t believe me? You killed the Tree of Life to help her remove the curse, making yourself the enemy of our people despite any wrongs the tree might have been involved in. No maybe even more because of those wrongs that the courts want to forget. Did she tell you how she got cursed in the first place? She told you about a mission gone wrong, didn’t she? But you’re forgetting something. She was friends with a seer. Do you really think the seer would not have been able to predict something so important? That same seer helped her manipulate things just right to turn the succession into a civil war.”

“I’m pretty sure things in the empire were headed that way anyway.” Dee pointed out. The whole mess was not just about the succession.

“Oh, of course there’s a lot more involved. But there has been discontent between the courts for several generations of monarchs. There has always been trouble bubbling beneath the surface. The whole mess needed things to fall just right for things to become as convoluted as they have become. I’m not paranoid enough to think my sister is the cause of the civil war and the paladins and mercenaries getting involved. She simply gave a slight nudge here and a small push there so that things fell just right for her. The other communities would still have gotten involved without her, but would things have come to such an explosive conclusion if she didn’t put you on the path that led you to destroy the tree? She might not have made the whole system crumble down, but she made sure it fell down just right. That’s the kind of thing you can accomplish with the help of a really skilled seer.” Eilian’s words struck a chord inside Dee, but in the end, what did it matter?

“A seer whom you still managed to kill, despite her ability to tell the future.” Dee pointed out.

“In an ambush that also put Noyala on your path, did it not?” Eilian immediately countered. “A rather important detail wouldn’t you say? I’d like to point out that I had nothing to do with that, as I wish no harm to my sister. Still. Things are as they are. The reasons leading up to the current situation are irrelevant. I just wanted you to be aware that you were being used, but judging by your expression it was somewhat mutual.”

They were quiet for a while and Eilian got a refill on her tea that had grown cold. They had spent more than an hour here. Noyala had not told Dee how long she would need to delay Eilian, probably because it was impossible to know how long it would take to convince the court. But since the other party was so willing to go along with things, there was little harm in delaying longer.

“You do realize that it will be dangerous to stay here once your sister becomes the queen?” Dee pointed out. For some reason, she bore no ill will towards Noyala’s sister, and Eilian had actually tried to warn her that Noyala might be using her. A warning out of concern and not to drive a wedge between them, as the woman’s genuine worry was clear.

“I know. I’m also aware of my sister’s plans to lead our people out of the forest. I suppose I will simply be the first one to leave.” Eilian replied while suddenly looking at her ring that was pulsing with power. Dee realized it was some kind of message.

“Calling for help?” Dee asked slightly amused.

“No. In fact, you could say this is the exact opposite. It seems my sister has succeeded in her endeavor.” She looked up at Dee in thought, before seemingly reaching a decision. “How about we make a bargain?”

Dee looked at the woman with some interest and amusement. This was getting interesting. “What did you have in mind?”

“You and your friends will help me leave the forest, and in exchange, I will tell you something that you might find useful.” Her expression made it clear that Eilian knew the information would most likely upset Dee.

This wiped away Dee’s amusement. “Deal. Though if I don’t find your information useful, I might decide to pull back my help.”

“Fair enough. A question first. Did my sister know your friends would be coming with you to delay me?” Eilian’s question threw Dee for a loop.

She considered for a moment and realized that Noyala had every reason to think the four immortals would not come along. She had been under that impression just before setting off as well. “No.” She replied honestly. She wasn’t sure she liked where this was going.

“Bear with me for two more questions. I’m not sure how strong you are, but would it be fair to assume that fighting an immortal like myself and my entourage for an extended period of time would make you susceptible to being captured by…say two dozen rank eight and nine Sidhe aiming to capture you?” Eilian asked another question that made Dee realize where this might be headed. She also knew something Eilian had no way of knowing.

While fighting that many opponents when she was already tired was probably beyond even the current Dee, normally she would be able to use more stealthy methods to get away. Except when she was being hunted by people capable of sensing the energy of the Tree of Life inside her. “That would be a fair assumption, yes.”

As she answered the question she could feel a field blocking spatial magic used for portals suddenly extend over the city and the area. The field was the type that could also block Dee’s portals from forming.

“Final question then. Did my sister happen to give you one of these?” Eilian showed the same kind of bauble Noyala had given to Dee to facilitate magical communications.

Dee didn’t reply but pulled out an item exactly alike. Eilian gave a small chuckle. “There’s a less known feature with these. The maker can use a spell to locate them. Incidentally, the message that I received with my ring was a call to action by the new queen. All the most powerful members of our race have a ring like that and it’s used in case of emergencies. The call to action was for all of the powerful Sidhe to head to the provided location with the orders to capture or kill the being that slew the Tree of Life, as well as capture the new queen’s sister who is colluding with the aforementioned being.”

This time it was Dee’s turn to explode in laughter. She wasn’t even sure herself which part of the situation was so amusing, but she couldn’t help it. It was possible that Noyala had the whole thing planned. She certainly had the foresight to do it, that much Dee had learned during their time together. Or this might be part of the original plan Noyala had told her and she simply had faith in Dee’s ability to escape. This might just be her taking advantage of the situation to smear her sister and maybe even something forced by the situation at court. At least this way the court could see that she had seriously done her best to capture the being responsible for the death of the Tree of Life. It might even be that Noyala had predicted the presence of the four immortals helping Dee. Or she might have planned to betray Dee from the start.

Either way, this was a clear message to cut any ties between the two. “I think it’s about time we left. You earned your way out. In a way, you are now guilty of that collusion your sister just charged you with.” This brought a chuckle for both of them.

There was another realization that hit Dee in a very profound way as they were leaving. Even though she also gained a lot from it, she was getting a little tired of following the wishes of others. Perhaps it was time for her to become the one giving orders. She was reminded of the words of a song she had read once, which she decided to recite to vocalize the feelings inside her.

“You can throw me to the wolves

but tomorrow I will come back

leader of the whole pack.

You can send your minions to hunt me

but every fight will shape me,

every skull will build my Throne.”

Something inside her just clicked. She had found her answer to the fear that haunted her. She now knew what the totem inside her soul space was building.