Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

「Still, you're talking a bit too much! You know what I mean, right!? RIGHT!?」

「Yes ma'am, my sincerest apologies!」

「I mean seriously, don't rile them up, dammit! Who do you think is gonna wipe your a*se later!?」

「I'm sorry! I'm sorry!」

「Don't give me that cr*p. I wouldn't be this troubled if only you’d settle things in a more peaceful way! Make some medicine for my stomach, NOW!」

「O-Oi, Class Rep, calm down! Seriously, calm down, please!」

Unable to see Class Rep's outburst anymore, Souma-kun finally intervened.

Souma-kun grabbed Class Rep, who was making a mess of my hair, by her wrist to stop her.

「Yuuto, do you really think that you're in the position to say that, haaah! The main reason for all of my trouble is YOU!」

「WHO ELSE!? YOU HAREM PROTAGONIST BA*TARD!」

「Wa-wait a minute, Class Rep, I'm no――」

「DON'T SPEAK ANYMORE YOU DAMN HERO!」

Good, now that her target move toward Souma-kun, I shall use this chance to e――

「Stop right there, Momokawa!」

Dammit, I am caught!

I was caught by the nape of my neck, unable to resist.

Dammit, this drunk Class Rep is bad news.

「Natsukawa-san, hurry up and call Sakura-chan and Tendou-kun!」

「HAH!?」

I shouted at Natsukawa-san who was flustered by the sudden change in her best friend's attitude.

「Make it fast! Only those two can stop this drunk Class Rep!」

「Ah, you're right!」

Natsukawa-san dashed out of the room like a certain blue hedgehog as soon as she snapped from her confusion.

The current me was too powerless to stop Class Rep. That's why I should at least stop the rampaging Class Rep along with Souma-kun.

When I glanced at Souma-kun, he nodded in agreement. I had never expected that we would come to understand each other in this way.

「I understand, I wronged you, Class Rep.」

「Sorry for always causing nothing but trouble for you, Class Rep.」

「Oh shut up already, you hypocrite!」

Cra-Crap, we might not be able to hold her back for too long, please Natsukawa-san, be quick!

「Gimme another cup!」

「Okay, here you go.」

Mei-chan NO! Seriously, please stop giving her liquor! We're toast!

「Oioi, who in the hell is making this ruckus?」

Right at this moment, Tendou-kun appeared with his usual listless face.

Hell yeah, our meat shield has arrived! Victory is ours!

「Momokawa! It's you again!」

Following right behind him was Sakura-chan.

The way she was complaining to me as soon as she saw this situation might make anyone think that she was into me. But the last thing I wanted was to get entangled with this landmine of a woman.

「Souma-kun, Tendou-kun, I'll leave Class Rep in your care!」

「Ryuuichi, quickly!」

「Good grief, what in the hell are you guys doing…」

Tendou-kun looked dumbfounded, it was his response to our SOS call. I mean seriously, this isn't the time to be dumbfounded, help us quickly.

「Sakura-chan, use detoxify now!」

「Ha-Hah? Why should I do what Momokawa's sa――」

「Sakura, just do as Momokawa says now!」

「Oh right, almost forgot about this bitch, honestly, I'm fed up with you, hysterical woman who always screams like a mad woman!」

「WA!?」

The unexpected insult that came from the most unexpected person left Sakura at a loss for words.

「Always being so petty while we're fighting for our life! Stop making trouble for us with your hysterics, dammit! Especially when Momokawa is right!」

「Wha-What are you talking about, Ryo-」

「Calm down Sakura. Class Rep is just drunk!」

Well, I think she just spat out her bottled-up frustration, right? I think it is normal for someone to vent their frustration when they are drunk.

「I know already Momokawa, don't say anything anymore.」

「Saying that means that Souma-kun also understands the situation.」

「Ryuuichi, Sakura, quickly! You two are the only ones who can save Class Rep!」

Ah, that sounds a bit like a heroic remark.

Though it sounds like the act of trying to save the heroine in a pinch, the heroine was the one who was rampaging around herself.

「Haah, yeah, it's hard to see her like this.」

「This situation is really unavoidable…」

And yet, those two looked rather reluctant, or felt that this situation was unavoidable.

「Uooi, Ryuuichi, pour some liquor for me for all the trouble you’ve caused me before.」

「Be quiet, Ryouko, else, you're going to regret it later.」

Tendou-kun caught Class Rep's arm while looking at her as if he felt sorry for her. Souma-kun had also caught the other arm.

「Sakura-chan, now!」

「القضاءعلىالفرزالصحيح――『Collect Remove(Detoxification)』」

The invoked detoxification spell hit Class Rep right on the face.

Class Rep's body was glowing with a pale, halo-like glow.

Good job Sakura-chan. Now that you're done with your job, go away from this place.

「U-U~h…」

Amidst everyone's attentive look, Class Rep was looking around with a flushed face.

Both her arms had already been released by Tendou-kun and Souma-kun.

「Eh, I… I feel like I drank something like liquor just now.」

「Ryouko, it's time to go back to your room and sleep.」

「Eh, Ryuuichi? When did you… Or rather, did I ju–」

「Just come already.」

「Eh, wait, what are you doing!」

Despite her complaints, her voice was tinged with happiness. The reason being, Tendou-kun forcefully lifted her into a princess-carry.

Yeah, it was truly picturesque. Not that I could afford to do something like that.

「Let me down, Ryuuichi!」

「Just shut up and let me carry you.」

Thus, Tendou-kun brought Class Rep to leave the clandestine room while having a lover’s spat with her.

「Momokawa… You better explain to me what in the world was happening just then.」

Said Sakura-chan while glaring at me after the disturbance had settled.

I looked right back into the fierce eyes of the saint that I'd already gotten used to and said…

「Thanks, Sakura-chan. As expected of 『Saint』.」

My gratitude to her.

Honestly, it was truly dangerous this time. That's just how much I got cornered.

「Yeah Sakura, you really saved our skin just now, thanks a lot.」

「Thanks Sakura-chan! Thank you for saving Kyouko-chan!」

「Thanks Souma-san.」

Said Natsukawa-san right after Souma-kun who had also barely crossed the dangerous bridge along with us. And Mei-chan followed after me.

「Thanks.」

「Thanks.」

「Tha~nks!」

The Totem Pole Trio also thanked her in turn.

Everyone in this place was now raising praise for the saint. Everyone was surrounding Sakura-chan, clapping their hands together like a prayer as they thanked her.

「Wha-What is happening here…」

As for me, I was looking at Sakura-chan who was troubled by the strange air around her.

In the end, liquor got banned on the surface. Thus, I only offered it to those we deemed needy.

I mean, some of us were light drinkers, after all. This failure somehow made me feel like I had grown into an adult.