Chapter 119: If I Embrace You Now (3)
I lifted Sien into my arms and mounted the horse.
My heart kept pounding against her slumped body.
I placed my sword back into its black sheath.
Holding Sien, I felt uneasy to continue the fight.
One hand on her back, the other around her waist.
I held her tight to prevent her from falling from my grasp.
It was a sensation I hadnt felt in far too long.
I could almost feel our heartbeats synchronizing.
...Vice-captain.
One of the members approached me, blinking in disbelief.
It was Todd.
Among the soldiers, only Baran, Shawn, and Jackson had more experience than him.
Without words, his expression inquired about the current situation.
Perhaps hed never seen me hold a woman in such a manner before.
...Protect her.
That was my request to him.
Todd didnt hesitate.
With a confident nod, he agreed.
I spurred the horse forward.
We dashed through the breached encirclement.
Soldiers, heroes, and the members of the head hunter unit followed us.
As the soldiers escaped through the broken encirclement, their formation shattered and transformed.
Outside the encirclement, Shawn and Baran, who were assisting us, noticed our movement and acted.
-Booooom...! Booooom...!
Far away, Baran blew the horn.
Realizing my intention, he began to issue retreat orders.
The soldiers unified under his command and followed us.
Mounting their horses to join us.
I led the vanguard toward the Jackson familys fortress.
****
From atop the hill, Ner watched the dreadful scene unfold.
The ground was littered with countless monsters and corpses.
Death lay everywhere she looked.
The thought that Berg was in there made her breath catch.
It was a recurring thought... but so terrifying.
She had always detested Berg being a mercenary.
Hated the idea of him living life on the edge.
The fear of something going wrong was always there.
Even if rescuing the hero party was a noble deed, it didnt sit well with her.
What if something happened to him in there?
The battlefield was unfamiliar territory for her.
Its brutality furrowed her brow.
It was hard to believe that Berg had survived in such a place.
How he remained kind after enduring such fierce battles was beyond her understanding.
Please... be safe...
Ner muttered to herself.
-Booooom...! Booooom...!
Just then, the blaring sound of a horn shook the battlefield.
Burns, who was guarding her and Arwin, spoke.
...Thats Baran-nims horn.
Everyones gaze shifted at those words.
They spotted a man blowing a horn in the vast battlefield.
Cavalry divided into three columns were advancing towards the fortress.
It seemed the operation was over; everyone was joining and retreating.
Ah...!
Ner soon spotted in the center of the converging columns, a man leading at the front.
Even from this distance, she could immediately recognize Berg.
...Huh?
Her heart skipped a beat.
...Berg was galloping with someone in his arms.
A woman, seemingly unconscious, not moving.
Berg held her as if she were a treasure.
Rescuing someone amid war was an honorable deed.
...But for Berg to be the one doing it, Ner found it puzzling.
He was known for keeping women at bay. Berg, who wouldnt let anyone approach or touch him.
Now, seeing him holding a woman so preciously, the disparity filled her with strange thoughts.
Even considering the emergency, she couldnt help but question it.
...Who...
Ner wasnt the only one perplexed.
Arwin, standing beside her, whispered in confusion.
In her hand, she held a familiar leaf of the World Tree.
It likely belonged to Berg.
For a moment, Arwin and Ner locked eyes.
During this exchange, Burns spoke.
Ladies, lets go. We should join the column now...!
Ner, pushing aside her bewilderment, nodded.
It seemed right to follow Berg for now.
****
I watched from the corner of my eye as my wives, escorted, joined the column.
I felt more at ease.
Baran, focus on protecting my wives!
I instructed Baran beside me.
The injured Baran nodded at my words.
There was still work to be done before I could converse with my wives.
Holding Sien, I entered the fortress.
With Prince Prin of the Jackson family present, it wasnt too difficult.
However, the real problem arose once inside the fortress.
Was the succession battle I had seen on the battlefield the cause?
The interior was in utter chaos.
There were more than a few people screaming and running in panic.
Bodies were scattered here and there.
It seemed there had been a fight inside as well.
...
As Gale froze at the sight, I continued to drive the horse forward.
No matter the chaos that ensued, my objective remained unchanged.
I carried Sien, seeking a place of safety.
Over here!
Prin led us, responding to my actions.
But soon, someone obstructed our path.
A figure resembling a captain of the guards, with a few soldiers, drew their swords in hostility.
How did you get here...!
Their expressions were full of confusion.
It was as if they had seen a ghost come back to life, so shocked were they.
Prin stopped in his tracks, drawing his sword, and the hero and his companions halted as well.
Prin shouted.
So youve betrayed me too-
-Slash!
I didnt hesitate.
Supporting Siens back with one hand, I swiftly drew my sword with the other and cut down the figure blocking our path.
The guard captain fell with a solitary scream, and his followers descended into disarray.
Drop your swords.
I commanded.
...This warning is your only one.
At my words, the soldiers began to lower their swords one by one.
They seemed to have been cowed by the example made.
I snapped Prin out of his daze with a stern look.
...Lead the way!
Prin nodded.
After a momentary glance at the fallen captain, he took the lead once more.
.
.
.
....Haa... Haa...
Only after laying Sien on a soft bed did my mind relax.
The anxiety I had felt before was now gone.
She was breathing comfortably.
....
Her body hadnt lost its warmth.
Although still covered in blood and mud from not being able to wash... seeing her soundly asleep eased my mind.
The Jackson family mansion, which we had occupied, was guarded by our mercenary group and Prins soldiers.
For the moment, no one could attack us.
Gale spoke to me in this state.
...Before leaving the dwarves village, I sent a letter to His Majesty the King and Adam... We just need to hold out here for a little while.
...
Get some rest, Berg. Weve done all we can for now.
I couldnt take my eyes off Sien.
Her face, after not seeing her for years, didnt feel real.
It all seemed like an illusion to me.
...You should get your wounds treated too.
But I closed my eyes and turned away.
Facing the sleeping Sien now wouldnt change anything.
I felt the need to wash off the blood and fluids of the monsters from my body.
The other heroes had also arrived here, seemingly exhausted and collapsed.
I wasnt ready to talk to them yet.
Honestly, I had no intention of having a conversation with them.
The way they had acted on the battlefield flickered before my eyes, and I doubted any kind words would come from me.
...Truthfully, I had no right to speak ill of them.
Sien and I were nothing to each other now.
Perhaps it was my fault for getting angry after seeing just a fragment of the situation.
They were Siens comrades, having fought alongside her for seven years, just like Adam Hyung and I had.
It would be overstepping to criticize them for not breaking through and helping, like true comrades.
...Hah.
As I was about to go clean myself... thoughts of Ner and Arwin flickered in my mind.
In front of the fortress, in a fleeting moment, our eyes had met.
My wives, who hadnt said a word, looked confused seeing Sien in my arms.
I turned my steps toward them.
Guided by the soldiers, I reached the room where my wives were staying.
-Knock knock knock.
The door opened as soon as I knocked.
-Bang!
Ner and Arwin stood there with worried expressions.
I opened my mouth to speak about Sien, pondering how to explain.
It was a story they would soon learn anyway... but if possible, I wanted to keep it hidden a little longer.
If things went well, maybe I could keep it hidden to the end.
In a situation where I hadnt fully won my wives hearts, I didnt want to add more confusion.
...About earlier-
-Berg, are you hurt?
But Ner was more concerned about my well-being.
Taken aback, I blinked.
Her hand hastily touched my face.
Her eyes scanned me, finding the wounds.
She wiped the wet blood with her white hand.
Her expression twisted as if she herself were injured.
Her tail drooping, sweeping the floor.
Why... so many wounds again...
-Whump!
Suddenly, someone embraced me.
Surprisingly, it was Arwin.
Arwin?
...Im relieved youre safe.
Her voice quivered as she whispered.
Perhaps she was still troubled by the moment she had persuaded me to save Sylphrien.
That seemed to provoke an even more intense reaction.
...
The heaviness in my heart lightened with their presence.
Unknowingly, the breath that had been stuck in my throat gently escaped.
My racing heart calmed down.
The tension in my body eased.
Thoughts of Sien became somewhat dulled.
...
Did they know how much strength their presence gave me?
...And with this, their words of not being able to love me felt even more poignant.
It seems I could no longer be content with just friendship.
Yet, feeling somewhat at ease, I spoke to Arwin.
...Youre getting dirty, Arwin.
Then I gently pushed her away.
Ah...
Arwin then noticed her soiled clothes.
Stained with the grime that had transferred from me.
But she quickly glanced at me, seemingly unconcerned.
...Its okay, really.
I said to them.
...Im going to wash up. I know youre worried, but rest here for today.
Ner raised a question.
What about you?
....I...
I hesitated, then spoke, masking the truth.
...I still have things to do. I need to hold this place until Adam Hyung arrives.
Ner pressed on.
Berg. But your injuries...
I can handle this much on my own. Its fine, you both rest. Its been a long day. You must be tired from the journey here.
Arwin chimed in.
...Youre tired too, Berg...
...
I smiled at their kind concern.
Yet, why did I feel a sense of guilt?
Maybe it was because of the tasks I had to attend to after this.
Thanks for worrying. Lets... talk about it later.
I forcibly ended the conversation.
I didnt want to talk with them in this state of mind.
I wanted to have a calm heart first.
With that thought, I turned away.
My wives said nothing more.
I closed the door behind me and left the room.
I asked the soldiers guarding the door.
...Please keep watch.
They nodded.
I left to wash myself.
****
I sat in Siens room.
Darkness had settled in.
She showed no signs of waking up.
Lying there untidily, merely breathing softly in her sleep.
I watched her quietly.
Numerous memories vividly returned as I gazed at her face.
How she looked when she was very young.
How she played, how she grew up.
The dreams we shared, the future we envisioned.
...And with each recalled memory, a suffocating anger rose within me.
It seemed to stem from the fact that she was safe now.
After all the hardships, all the difficulties... why.
Why...
Despite my desperate pleas for her not to go.
Even though it was all in the past, I still found myself angered by her foolish choice.
Memories of the day she said she would leave me came flooding back.
How trivial our hurtful moments seemed.
...
I closed my eyes tightly.
I tried to reorganize my emotions.
I didnt want to suffer anymore from the happy memories we once shared.
If she could push me away once more, the next step seemed easier.
Being glad that she seemed to be living well.
Just that phrase seemed enough for me to tie up loose ends.
After all, she was the one who said she wouldnt come back to me.
It shouldnt be a difficult task.
.......Of course, that was a story for when she woke up.
-Rustle.
...
A sudden movement was heard.
The sound of fabric brushing against the bed.
I couldnt lift my head.
My heart started racing faster.
I just stared at the floor.
Still unsure how to converse with her.
But perhaps, I was just overreacting to what might have been her sleep movements.
-Rustle!
At that moment, Sien seemed to stir awake.
I closed my eyes tightly.
She had woken up.
The moment was approaching.
Why did this moment feel more nerve-wracking than a battle?
...Why am I here...
Sien murmured in confusion.
Her voice, after seven years, was painfully familiar.
I remained silent, motionless.
It seemed she hadnt noticed me yet.
From the direction of her voice, I could tell where she was looking.
Then suddenly, Sien gasped in surprise.
Huh...!
This time, the sound was directed at me.
...It seemed she had finally seen me.
Even her startled gasp was the same as before.
The unchanged aspects of her made my heart ache even more.
Yes, that was Sien.
She was startled like that, emitting such a sound.
It seemed that even after numerous wars, some things never change.
...Who... are you?
Siens sweet voice echoes toward me.
In the dimly lit room, with my head bowed, it was natural she couldnt recognize me.
Probably even Adam Hyung wouldnt recognize me in this setting.
I couldnt respond, just slowly blinked.
A serene silence filled the room.
I still couldnt lift my head.
Similarly, Sien didnt realize who I was.
She probably never imagined Id be here.
She wouldnt have thought shed face me like this.
.......
Maybe she had forgotten me.
As she left, hoping I would become a mere memory she could smile at and move on from.
Now a radiant saint, she might wish to forget our humble past together.
The past of mingling with a rat from the slums... might not suit her anymore.
Should I stand and leave the room?
I seriously considered it.
....................Bell...?
...Then came Siens trembling voice.
A voice choked with suppressed tears.
The same voice she had when she left me.
.....
At that affectionate nickname, I too clenched my lips.
Just a single word made it difficult to breathe.
The End of The Chapter
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