I Will Save the Villain

There’s no such thing as magic or magicians. People can’t actually cast spells; all they do is use artifacts.

― Jens R. Pedersen, “A History of Adventure”

Asteria

It happened even faster than I thought it would.

I woke up to a loud booming, crashing sound. I jumped up from my bed, fully dressed since I was expecting something to happen, and ran to Sariel and Uriel’s room.

Lightning had struck Sariel who was inside a hotel room. Apparently, the lightning bolt had traveled horizontally and shattered the window before hitting Sariel.

“Careful! There’s glass all over the floor,” said Seraphiel. He was stark naked.

In more normal times, I’d have screamed “exhibitionist” at him and covered my eyes, but right now I had more to worry about.

The smoke coming from Sariel’s burned skin and clothes made me sneeze. He was in bad shape.

“Heal.”

It took more than one try and almost an hour to completely heal Sariel. Hotel management came to see what was going on, so Uriel went to talk to them.

Seraphiel helped me undress Sariel and put him in the hotel bathtub where I did the final round of healing. Damaged, nonviable tissue sloughed off as I magically debrided his skin before healing him. It was gruesome work, but Sariel should be fine by tomorrow.

“It’s done,” I said. Exhaustion made my head swim. “Seraph, please put him on your bed for now. I’ll rest in my room. Sariel, just pray, okay?”

Sariel mumbled something which I took to be agreement. I left to get some sleep.

He was extremely lucky. A regular human would probably have died from the lighting bolt sent by the Hero System.

The System, also called a Sacred Mystery, was established by the twin goddesses Elyon and Iah at the dawn of time. The two goddesses were polar opposites whose attributes repelled each other. Like fire and water, their powers didn’t mix. One extinguishes the other. That was why I had a bad reaction to the Iah virus.

Yet, the goddesses were able to create Verden together. Perhaps it was the energy unleashed from their warring powers that created the world. It was a paradox that I couldn’t quite understand.

Anyway, seeing as their clashing powers could destroy the world, the goddesses couldn’t directly intervene in Verden. They relied on the Hero System and special divine messengers like me.

That was also why only regular humans like the hero and his companions could kill the Iah spawn. I could mop up the remnants of the virus, but the goddess needed a hero to do the main job of defeating the three Iah monsters.

***

We were supposed to leave at dawn, but the others let me sleep until noon. Healing was tiring work, both for the healer and the person being healed. We had lunch together in Seraph’s room.

“I think we should pack some sandwiches for the road,” I said. “Can you guys order that? I’ll go to the bakery across the road and get bread and pastries.”

“What about me? You said something about punishment,” said Sariel. He looked half-dead. There were dark rings around his sunken eyes, and his complexion was sallow.

I wanted to click my tongue and say, “I told you so,” but I refrained since Sariel looked like he’d been to hell and back.

“Do you remember this?” I unsheathed the Goddess’ Embrace and showed him the blade’s magically starry edge. “Lucky for you, we won’t be needing it.”

Sariel breathed a sigh of relief.

I took out the hair clippers from my handbag. I’d bought them yesterday. “Use this to shave your head. You’ll need to fast for three days and nights. Pray for forgiveness each night.”

“My hair, my beautiful hair!” Sariel took the hair clippers and headed to the bathroom.

“Is he going to be okay? What about side effects?” asked Uriel.

I shrugged. “He looks fine to me. Keep an eye on him for the next few days.”

“Are you okay? If you’re tired we can stay here for another day,” said Seraphiel.

Uriel nodded in agreement.

“I’d like to leave today if Sariel feels up to it,” I said.

We continued drinking our coffee until Sariel finished shaving and joined us at the table. He said, “I’m fine.”

Baldness accentuated his slightly ferret-like features, making him seem even more like a lean and dangerous animal.

“Oh my goodness, you look like a thug!” I said. “All you need are prison tattoos and gold teeth.”

“I’m killing it with this new look,” said Sariel. “I bet you a thousand credits that next week all my men will also be bald.”

“...Because he’s gonna make them shave their heads, right?” I mock-whispered to Seraphiel and Uriel.

“They will all volunteer to do it. Or else I’ll make them volunteer,” said Sariel.

“Good to see you’ve recovered your spirits,” I said.

“You’re sure I won’t be struck by lightning again?” asked Sariel.

“Probably. Don’t do something foolish again.” I drank some coffee. “Oh, by the way, why haven’t you asked me how much I’m charging you for the healing?”

I thought Sariel would complain, but to my surprise he just said, “Whatever.”

He must have been more shaken up by the lightning strike than I thought. Then again, he would have been badly hurt if I hadn’t been there to heal him.

“I have plenty of money if you need it,” said Seraphiel.

“Sariel, you’ll pay me by organizing my coming of age party,” I said. “I’ll tell you the details later.”

“Alright,” said Sariel.

With the important business done, we packed up, settled our hotel bills, and left. Once we were out of sight of the town, we started traveling together again.

“Listen, guys, I’m gonna need all of you to help,” I said.

Phase One of my plan, befriending Oren and Katja, had been completed. All I had to do now was to not lose their trust. Phase Two, seeding important sites with equips, artifacts, and credits, was now in full swing.

“Sure, whatever you need,'' said Uriel.

Seraphiel and Sariel nodded in agreement.

“Please take helicopter lessons. Dyr are great but I would like to have a means of getting to places faster,” I said.

“Good idea,” said Seraphiel.

“We’ll do it,” said Sariel.

“When you’ve been licensed to fly, please look into whether we ought to lease or buy a helicopter,” I said.

“I know a guy,” was all Sariel said. He always knew a guy.

“Next month, let’s go to Bornholm Pass.”

“That place is too dangerous for you,” said Uriel.

“Astral Authority will keep all the monsters away,” I said.

“You said that only works on low-level monsters,” said Seraphiel.

We hashed out the details while we rode the dyr. I thought I had plenty of time left since the hero only started his quest two years after joining the army in “Tales of Vesterland,” but I was wrong.

I had very little time left.