LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 69
“Seriously, is it that important to distinguish between true and false?”
Those words from Id had pierced deep into Yurph’s heart. She had been mulling over them for days, reflecting on what they meant.
It was a thought she had never entertained before. She wanted to consider Id’s answer, hoping it could provide any insight into her own situation.
“You see, whether it’s true or false doesn’t really matter.”
Was that really true?
Was it meaningless to differentiate between what is real and what is not? After all, she was nothing but a foreign substance created to replace an innocent country girl.
“What’s important is who you are.”
She had never thought about who she was before.
Since she had realized her identity, Yurph had been burdened with guilt towards Lan Ai.
Even after becoming a priest thanks to the help of a priest she had randomly encountered, that guilt never disappeared.
Could the goddess truly forgive her sins?
That thought endlessly occupied her mind, lingering even after she became a Saint Candidate.
Despite it not being her original intention, Yurph had deeply haunted herself with guilt.
She was fundamentally different from those who could seek the meaning of their existence in this world. The meaning of her being born into the world was painfully clear.
To live in place of the girl named ‘Yurph.’
Maybe that was why she was so fixated on what was true and false. Blinded by illusions, she endlessly scraped at her own wounds.
“Who are you?”
It was a question she struggled to answer. So, she tried to think it over alone. Yet, even after days of contemplation, a solid answer still eluded her.
Until then, she had only thought about the girl ‘Yurph,’ never reflecting on who she really was.
So she asked her comrades who had been with her all this time. What kind of person am I to you?
Startled by her sudden question, they hesitated, but eventually answered her.
“You’re a diligent kid. You’ve never missed a service since joining the Church of the Goddess, right?”
“Someone who really suits the title of Saint! That’s why I like you, Sister Yurph!”
“Why do you ask me… I doubt anyone would oppose the fact that you’re a Saint Candidate!”
“High-ranking folks might think differently, but I believe there’s no better fit than you.”
Diligent kid, suitable for a saint, the right candidate for a saint…
There was a tremendous gap between how they perceived her and how she perceived herself. It was only after hearing those words that she could grasp the true meaning of Id’s remark.
“Haha… what was I so afraid of?”
The wind tousled her black hair, her thin arms still underdeveloped even with flesh on them, delicate fingers.
Lying on the grasslands, Yurph could finally face her true self. She looked up at the star-filled sky once more.
The night sky still didn’t reveal the constellation that pointed to her destiny. Yet, that fact no longer frightened her.
Instead, she felt a sense of liberation as if she had broken free from fate and become a free person.
‘..Id, I still don’t really know who I am.’
So, from now on, I want to find out.
The meaning of my existence in this world was no longer important. That was given to her by the Emperor; it had never belonged to her from the start.
Woosh…
The brand on the back of her neck flared up red. In the past, she couldn’t resist the pain and obeyed the Emperor’s command, but now it felt different.
Now, she was not a baby elephant resigned and bound by chains, but a determined elephant seeking freedom, ready to break the ropes.
Soon, the Emperor’s commands began to crystallize in her mind into a few succinct words.
[Tomorrow, Forgetting Whale, Id, Ambush, Keep Your Distance.]
It was a simple command.
No, to be precise, it was more like a warning. Did he realize she had grown closer to Id during that time? At this point, that didn’t matter.
Whatever the Emperor wanted, it no longer concerned her.
In fact, she could possibly use that command to her advantage.
‘Tomorrow, I would ambush Sister Id.’
Forgetting Whale.
An ancient nemesis of the Holy Kingdom Numen, a target of many priests seeking revenge. A monster residing in the Forest of Forgetting, it had mercilessly taken countless lives and memories.
If that monster was her opponent, then the decision she had to make was straightforward.
This would be her first decision as the false saint, no longer ‘Yurph.’
§
A gap to the third dimension was discovered. A massive crack opening on the hillside, almost like a cliff.
They mentioned that the further inside, the larger the gap would become, and the monsters would grow stronger.
At this point, the size of the crack was nearly bigger than the walls of an average fortress. People started to murmur as it had grown more than twice the size of the previous gap.
“Isn’t it bigger than last year?”
“Back then, it wasn’t even close to this size…”
“Ugh, damn. What’s going to happen next?”
“Is it going to grow even bigger next year?”
Most voices emanated from anxiety.
The dimensional gap had been steadily growing over the past few years, and the monsters were becoming increasingly powerful. It was definitely a situation worth worrying about.
Just when the Holy Knight Order and the Black Raven Knights were feeling uneasy, Abel stepped forward slowly.
The knights standing in his way, including the holy knights, parted for him.
Abel moved to the front and scanned the crowd.
“Are you all afraid?”
“Ah, no!”
A knight stuttered, yet answered with confidence. Abel smiled coldly at his boldness in response to the duke’s question.
“If that’s the case, then why is your voice trembling?”
“No, it’s not!”
In contrast, multiple knights shouted back together. Although it was a somewhat loud response, he seemed unsatisfied, crossing his arms.
“Why is your voice so small?”
“No, it’s not!”
Now, most of the knights raised their voices in answer. It was a well-coordinated big voice, yet Abel’s expression remained unchanged.
Some knights still hesitated to speak up, causing him to frown.
“Can I assume those who don’t answer are afraid of something so trivial?”
“No, it’s not!!”
Not a single one was left out as they shouted back. Only then did Abel smile, seemingly satisfied.
“The Black Raven Knights won’t be frightened by something like this. Got it?”
“Yes!!”
Thanks to Abel’s question, the already raised voices boosted the morale of the knights. As the anxiety and fear hidden in their eyes washed away, he smiled.
His rare smile elevated the knights’ spirits even more. Who would have thought such a few questions could uplift morale?
Truly, he was not in the duke’s position for nothing.
[Impressive.]
‘Right?’
[..Why is the Contractor feeling proud?]
Silphy shook her head, probably baffled by my expression. Hearing that, I chuckled and refocused on Abel.
Noticing my stare, Abel glanced over at me and moved his lips silently. I frowned involuntarily at his gesture.
Did he finish speaking? His last smile was mysterious, leaving me puzzled.
Silphy, floating next to me, seemed to read my thoughts and kindly translated Abel’s words.
[‘I’ll punish those who didn’t answer later.’]
‘Huh? Oh, really?’
Thinking about it, I realized I was still somewhat a member of the Black Raven Knights. Could it be that he intended to punish me for not responding?
I thought it was impressive, but suddenly his pettiness made my respect for him wane.
[That’s the Contractor’s fault.]
‘What are you talking about?’
As I bickered with Silphy, the lingering anxiety in my mind seemed to decay away.
Feeling much lighter, I relaxed my body when the Pope approached Abel.
“Heh. Youth is wonderful! Isn’t that right, Holy Knights?”
“That’s right!”
“You don’t need to raise your voices unnecessarily. This old man hasn’t lost his hearing yet.”
With a hearty laugh, the Pope spoke, causing laughter to ripple through the Holy Knights. Observing them, he smiled slyly.
“Those who laughed, let’s meet again in the Holy Kingdom.”
“Ugh…”
Those who dared laughed amongst the Holy Knights awkwardly scratched their heads, trying to avoid the Pope’s gaze.
“Anyway, you wouldn’t think of losing to them, would you?”
“Absolutely not!”
“Then show your strength! Show them the might of our Holy Knights!”
“Understood!”
The Holy Knights answered with a roar much larger than our Knights. Whether it was a collaboration of the Pope and Abel, their morale had surely risen.
Their earlier anxious demeanor vanished without a trace. What remained were the determined gazes of warriors steeling themselves.
While smiling at that sight, I turned to the hand tugging at my sleeve.
It was Yurph, radiating a smile. It was not the awkward grin from a few days ago but rather a refreshingly cheerful one.
“Id, sister.”
“Huh? What is it?”
“I understand now what you said back then.”
As she said this, she stretched her arms wide, feeling free. Yurph took a deep breath, then continued.
“Thank you for letting me know.”
“Not at all. I’m glad it helped.”
Yet, for some reason, there was an ominous feeling lurking in that smile. Yurph nodded vigorously, as if she had made up her mind, and slapped her cheeks.
“I’ll do my best now.”
“Okay. I’ll cheer you on too.”
“Hehe.”
There was something beautifully radiant about her smile.