Chapter 113: The Link (2)
TL/Editor: raei
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After the meal, Han Yoo-jung sat blankly in her room.
She looked at the gauze Jung-gyeom had applied.
"..."
She had always been certain... Inside his heart, lay a compassionate heart.
The wound he treated was proof of that.
And yet, he was turning himself in.
Despite Han Yoo-jung's unprecedented efforts to dissuade him, raising her voice in protest, Jung-gyeom remained unyielding.
He had many reasons.
Not wanting to disrupt order as he did before. Unable to return to Solace's side with a smile... among others.
In the end, it was a reason Han Yoo-jung couldn't accept.
She was merely engulfed in a maddening sense of guilt.
Had she not taken action, perhaps Jung-gyeom would still be living with a smile.
She wouldn't have inflicted such wounds and a future upon him.
Han Yoo-jung shook her head slowly.
"....Hoo."
There was no time to wallow in sadness.
She needed to devise a plan.
Otherwise, Jung-gyeom would indeed end up turning himself in.
Such a future was unbearable.
If it meant going to prison herself, she wouldn't mind, no matter the number of years.
But she could not stand the thought of Jung-gyeom being imprisoned because of her.
She didn't want to ruin his happiness.
...Though she had already ruined it, she didn't want to cause further damage.
---
---
-Swish swish.
Song Soo-yeon swept the floor, finishing up the cleaning of Jung-gyeom's apartment.
She had arranged for the broken window to be fixed and had removed the rotting cake from the floor.
All the shattered pieces of furniture were thrown out, and likewise, she had ordered new ones.
Everything was prepared for Jung-gyeom's return, so he could enter smiling.
"..."
Of course, he had said he would not be coming back.
He hated her, would no longer see her.
Jung-gyeom had declared firmly that she should live on her own from now on.
Their kiss over the sea would be the the last.
Yet, Song Soo-yeon refused to believe it.
Did he truly hate her?
If that was the reality, Song Soo-yeon didn't want to live anymore.
Believing it wasn't reality allowed her to clean and refurbish Jung-gyeom's room like this.
-Swish swish.
Song Soo-yeon wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand.
Lately, tears flowed frequently.
Thinking of Jung-gyeom, tears would well up without her noticing.
It wasn't something she could control.
In just a few weeks, she had cried more tears than in the last 20 years.
When emotions became too overwhelming, Song Soo-yeon would close her eyes and recall their kiss.
The chill that ran through her body.
His lips, soft and warm.
The sensation of his moist tongue and the warmth felt at that moment.
She had wished time would stop, so immense was her happiness.
Dreaming of experiencing that happiness again someday, she kept moving forward.
---
---
Song Soo-yeon, wearing a mask, set out for volunteer work.
She hadn't forgotten the promise she made to Jung-gyeom.
'I won't be greedy anymore...I'll be a good person...'
And the only good thing she could think of was to volunteer like this.
It was all she had learned and seen.
Since Jung-gyeom also frequently volunteered...
No, it was precisely because her connection with him began through his unique volunteering that Song Soo-yeon sought to follow in his footsteps.
Maybe through this, she could see the world through Jung-gyeom's eyes.
"...Ah- Here you go."
Song Soo-yeon carefully brought the spoon towards the mouth of an elderly lady in a nursing home.
Her approach was still clumsy and her tone bland.
"..."
-Thwack!
The elderly lady, frowning, knocked Song Soo-yeon's spoon away.
Food splattered onto Song Soo-yeon.
"I won't eat!"
Then, like a preschooler, the elderly lady turned her head away, refusing to eat.
Surprised, another caregiver rushed over, but Song Soo-yeon waved them off, indicating she was fine.
She wiped herself down with some nearby tissues and lifted the spoon again for the elderly lady.
After all, this was nothing to her.
Compared to the bullying she had endured.
Or the stress she felt recently with Jung-gyeom's absence.
Likewise, Jung-gyeom must have felt the same way.
He calmed her when she pushed him away, stormed into the Association for her, and even took care of bullies.
Yet, she never said thank you, never softened her tone, missing every chance to become closer.
Back then, she thought Jung-gyeom loved her.
She assumed he was just another man smitten by her looks.
"....Ha."
Song Soo-yeon eventually laughed at herself. How foolish she had been.
Thinking of Jung-gyeom, she tried to give the warmest smile she could muster.
"...Please eat, Grandma."
And she extended the spoon towards the elderly lady once more.
The lady cautiously eyed Song Soo-yeon, then opened her mouth.
Thus, Song Soo-yeon was able to continue volunteering.
"Breaking news. The current time is 14:52. In the vicinity of Yeongtong-gu, Suwon City, a battle between Dice and Solace has erupted. The reason for Dice's appearance is still unknown-"
Suddenly, the sound from the TV caught Song Soo-yeon's attention, and her head turned towards the direction of the TV.
A video of the battle, taken by a witness, was being broadcast repeatedly.
And in it, Jung-gyeom was seen fighting fiercely.
"......Ah...."
Song Soo-yeon's eyes quivered.
Her sins kept coming back to her like this.
She had wished countless times for her guilt to disappear as if by magic, but such a thing was impossible.
Jung-gyeom was avoiding the fight with Solace, fleeing.
Now, more than ever, things became clear.
As Dice, Jung-gyeom did not want to fight Solace...
It was evident even through the screen.
What kind of feeling could that be?
She knew all too well that he held Solace dearly.
It was she who had driven him to this point.
She couldn't help but feel terribly sorry.
"...."
Song Soo-yeon wiped her tears with her palm again.
She didn't know how to atone for the sins she had committed.
She felt an indescribable guilt.
---
---
After volunteering, Song Soo-yeon fiddled with her phone.
Her finger hovered over Stella's number again, twitching slightly.
She had resisted the urge to call dozens of times.
Afraid that it might just make Jung-gyeom hate her more.
...But at the same time, jealousy bubbled up.
Why was it okay for Stella, but not for her?
It was an unsolvable dilemma for her.
Song Soo-yeon stared blankly at her phone.
She ended up seeing the last text she sent to Stella.
[Help me, please.]
Following this message, Jung-gyeom began searching for her.
It was shameless to think...but she leaned towards believing that he didn't hate her.
Song Soo-yeon fidgeted with her lips, took a deep breath, and pressed the green call button.
-Drrrrring...Drrrrring...
The battle between Dice and Solace had ended 2 hours ago.
She just wanted to know if he was okay, at least.
...And how she might further their relationship.
-Drrrrring...Drrrrring...
The ringing continued for a long time.
And the longer it stretched, the more anxious Song Soo-yeon became.
She knew opportunities like this to call were rare.
She had to call within the range that wouldn't make Jung-gyeom uncomfortable.
If she called too often... she might get blocked.
That would be the last link between them severed.
So, she understood that today's chance was her only one.
If this call went unanswered... then it would be days before she could try again.
-Click.
The call connected.
Song Soo-yeon's heart sank rapidly.
With a trembling voice, she spoke.
"...He-hello?"
"...It's been a while, Luna."
However, the one who answered was Stella.
Song Soo-yeon moistened her lips for a moment, then asked her.
"...Is he there?"
"...No. He hasn't come back yet."
"...Ah...is that so?"
Disappointment and distrust bloomed within Song Soo-yeon at the same time.
Stella provocatively called Jung-gyeom by his nickname, 'Gyeom'.
There must have been a reason to provoke her like this.
"...."
Then, Song Soo-yeon shook her head.
What was she even doing right now?
She had called because she was worried about Jung-gyeom.
Other emotions shouldn't interfere.
As Song Soo-yeon was about to end the call, Stella spoke.
"....Luna."
"....Yes?"
And then, a long silence followed.
Despite waiting and waiting, no voice came back, prompting Song Soo-yeon to check her phone several times.
The call was still connected.
".....Hoo."
As she waited, Stella sighed.
"...Stella?"
She said.
"....I'm jealous of you, Luna."
---
---
When Luna called, Han Yoo-jung was forced into deep contemplation.
Should she answer the call or pretend not to know?
Jung-gyeom didn't welcome calls from Luna.
She knew he was distancing himself from Luna.
Probably because he was surrendering himself.
This was also for Song Soo-yeon's sake, to detach emotionally.
So she shouldn't have answered the call, but...
"..."
Han Yoo-jung knew.
What one must do and what one wants to do are different.
If it were Jung-gyeom, he would want to talk to Song Soo-yeon. He would want to be with her.
But he chose not to be with Song Soo-yeon. He judged that it was necessary.
So, Han Yoo-jung answered the call.
She wanted to do what Jung-gyeom would have wanted.
Following this was a brief conversation.
Luna was looking for Jung-gyeom.
And in that moment, Han Yoo-jung felt an inexplicable jealousy.
Unlike Luna and Dice, they weren't close.
They had just met, their relationship filled only with resentment.
She wasn't even in a position to be jealous.
But she felt jealous nonetheless.
She envied this woman whom Jung-gyeom protected with his life.
She wanted to be in her place.
Han Yoo-jung also wanted to be desired by Dice, like Luna.
"....I'm jealous of you, Luna."
Her words of jealousy were impulsive.
In a way, it was blatantly setting ablaze malice.
She was supposed to act for Jung-gyeom's sake, yet here she was, unable to control her emotions.
But it was unavoidable.
For nearly 10 years, she dreamt of being by Jung-gyeom's side.
Though the result was disastrously miserable...that didn't mean the dream had faded.
"...You're jealous of me?"
Luna's voice sharpened as she asked.
She wouldn't know anything...so, in a way, it was expected.
"Yes. I am jealous."
"Why?"
"...Because you're so close to Gyeom."
Luna didn't respond for a long time.
After waiting, Luna's trembling voice finally replied.
"I don't know what your relationship with him is...but aren't you the one by his side right now?"
"..."
"...I'm the one who's jealous. Why is it okay for you...but not for me...?"
Luna was suppressing her anger.
Since neither had the right to be angry, no one raised their voice needlessly.
But at Luna's words, Stella couldn't help but snort.
"....You really don't know anything, Luna."
"....What?"
Does she know that Jung-gyeom is fighting for her?
Does she know that he wasn't lashing out, but sacrificing himself?
Does she know that for her future, he was turning himself in?
Han Yoo-jung felt a bitterness as she spoke.
Scratching at Luna like this brings nothing.
Provoking her wouldn't change anything.
Except maybe make her feel slightly better.
"..."
She composed herself.
As she always did.
She decided to think only of Jung-gyeom, wholeheartedly.
She had to atone, even just a little, for the sins she had committed against him.
Suppressing her jealousy, she said,
"........I'm sorry, Luna. I was too emotional, wasn't I?"
"..."
"...Actually, I didn't mean to say that. Originally..."
She tried to continue but then stopped.
Emotions interfered again. Jealousy flared up again.
Han Yoo-jung took a breath.
She thought of the expression Jung-gyeom made when talking about Luna or Solace.
The smile she couldn't bring to his face. The pained expressions she remembered.
Clearing her mind, she managed to put aside her petty emotions.
She spoke again.
"Originally...I wanted to say that I'll help you."
This was for Jung-gyeom.