HP: The Crazy One

Pinky Omninsanis.

While walking towards Professor Flitwick’s office, I thought of a name for my new “grimoire.” Which led me to think of what a grimoire is. Loosely speaking, it’s a book that has spells in it and can guide you into casting the spells. Which would mean all the books in the library that teach you what a spell is and how to cast it can be called a Grimoire.

I think there is special meaning in writing your own “Grimoire.” It’s essentially a book that grows with you and your magical journey. Eventually, your book could be more valuable than the spell books you copied from since it contains your own insights into casting the spell.

*Thud*

I was knocked out of my thoughts, as I had walked into a group of people who were now staring at me. They seemed to be mad but took one look at who walked into them before quickly running away. It was strange, since no words were exchanged, and I didn’t even threaten them.

“Th- thanks for the help…”

I heard someone stutter next to me. Turning my head to the source, I see someone who is up against the wall where the group of three was. However, he was furiously sweating and seemed a bit scared of me as well.

“Ok? Why are you scared?” I asked hoping to get an answer.

“I’m sorry!” The strange boy apologized before running away.

 “How strange…” I muttered, genuinely confused.

I looked to where the boy ran off too, before choosing to ignore what just happened. It’s not my problem he is scared of me. Luckily, Professor Flitwick’s office was right around the corner. I knocked on the Professors door but didn’t receive any response, indicating that he was either asleep or not in the office.

“Is Professor Flitwick in?” I asked the painting hanging next to his door.

“No, he has gone to teach his class, young Ravenclaw,” The painting responded.

I have always found paintings specifically interesting, as they display different levels of awareness. I have noticed afew paintings that just follow you with their eyes, some paintings that appear to be stuck in a loop and some paintings that can display some level of self-awareness. The paintings that display self-awareness are rare, and I have only found the Fat Lady so far.

“Do you have a fast way to reach his class?” I asked the painting.

Instead of an answer, a painting on the opposite wall flung open, showing a dark crawlspace.

“…Alright,” I climbed into the crawlspace and made my way forwards, before the floor started to smooth out, turning into a slide.

“AHHHHHHHH!” I screamed my way through the slide, rapidly gaining speed. After what felt like an eternity, I saw a light at the end of the slide.

“Uh oh…” The light was rapidly approaching.

I braced for impact, as I flew through the opening.

 

[Crash- Clang]

 

I open my eyes to see that I had landed on a suit of armor, which is now in pieces around me. I check my body to see if I had broken anything, which I had lucked out on. Just some minor bruises.

“Mr. Zane, mind telling me what just happened?” I heard a stern voice speaking to me.

“Err… Nothing. Can you check my rune work?” I held Pinky up to Professor Flitwick, who audibly gasped when I showed him the book.

“Where did you get this book?” He asked in a grave tone. I heard some shocked murmuring behind him, and realized he was in the middle of his class.

“I made Pinky, just now, can you take a look to see if it will explode on me?”

He takes Pinky out of my hands, and uses his wand to put it in a magical bubble. He then turns towards me.

“Follow me, Mr Zane.” He walks me to the back of the classroom and sits me down.

“Stay here until the class is over,” 

I just nod, eager to see if the book will explode or not.

“Zane! Just what did you make!” I heard a hissing whisper next to me. It seems I had landed, literally, in a second-year class. The person who asked me this question is predictably, Hermione.

 “Pinky Omninsanis, my own grimoire, of sorts. By the way, have you seen a black cat around?” I asked. It has been a long time since I had seen Meowser.

 “No, I haven’t, but what is wrong with your book?” Hermione asked.

Since she hadn’t, I didn’t feel like responding to her questions. She is very exhausting for me to talk to, and I had been up all night. Thankfully, my tiredness was soon dispelled, with Professor Flitwick’s class becoming increasingly interesting.

“As I was saying… There is a spell that will become increasingly useful throughout your wizarding journey. While it is taught in the second year, do not underestimate its importance. Does anyone have any guesses as to what the spell is?”

Out the corner of my eye, I see Hermione’s hand shoot up. I looked around the class and saw most of the Gryffindor students were disinterested in the lesson, while the Hufflepuffs seemed mildly annoyed.

“Ms. Granger, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but give other students a chance to engage with the lesson.” Professor Flitwick spoke to Hermione in a delicate tone. However, none of the other students put their hand up, and actively avoided the Professors gaze.

To be honest, I can guess what spell it is just from the degree of usefulness that Professor Flitwick described. I put my hand up and decided to take a guess at what spell he was referring to.

“Ah, Mr. Zane, would you like to tell us what spell it is?” Professor Flitwick seemed surprised that I had raised my hand.

“There are afew spells that can be considered ‘incredibly useful while being easy to learn,’ with the foremost being the cleaning spell, fire-making spell and finally the general counter spell.” I spoke with confidence. I was certain of the order due to the practicality of each of the spells.

“Oh? And why in that order?” Professor Flitwick seemed interested with my logic, as well as the rest of the class.

“Well…” I hesitated to explain why the cleaning spell was first.

“The cleaning spell, Scrougify, is first from a usefulness perspective, because I hate cleaning up after myself and other people. Since there is magic to handle it why not let magic do it. Afterwards is the fire-making spell. If you were stranded in the wilderness, where making a fire is infeasible or you need light in a dark cave, this is absolutely worth learning. Finally is the general counter spell due to its wide application.” I spoke in one long breath, now breathing deeply to calm down.

I have noticed my increased passion when talking about magic, and even thinking about how versatile some magic is gets me agitated. Professor Flitwick stood there, mouth agape as if he couldn’t believe my logic. This is why I hesitated to explain it to begin with.

He simply nodded and continued with his lesson. I was wrong about the charm he was going to teach though.

“The spell you will be learning today is the general counter curse,” he continued.

The lesson itself was rather interesting, with random bits of knowledge thrown into his explanation, as well as his unique insight of casting the spell itself, focusing more on feeling rather than understanding.

 

[After Class]

 

“Mr. Zane, please come with me,” Professor Flitwick ended his class and guided me to his office.

“Firstly, congratulations on successfully making an enchanted item!” He pulled out Pinky and examined it closer. “I really can not believe this is something you made, simply wonderful.” He admired the book more than I thought.

“Is it… safe?” I asked with some hesitation, after all, what happened last time gave me scars I can still feel.

“Rest assured, your linework is stable, and I can not feel any significant magical fluctuations from the book, aside from the book itself. You have made quite a powerful artifact. You can liken it to something that will grow with you over time, very impressive for your first attempt.

For future reference, you can find Professor Bathsheda Babbling if you have more specific questions regarding Runes. After all, I am a charms teacher, and only have the most basic understanding.”

“Thanks Professor!” I was too happy for words.

Something actually worked out, first try, didn’t explode. Cant ask for much else. However, I feel like I have jinxed my future self by thinking that this worked first try. Regardless, I can now get back to exploring Hogwarts, and documenting everything that I find.

“Secondly,” A now stern Professor Flitwick broke my daydreaming.

“You, Mr. Zane, have accrued a lot of detention skipping classes. I won’t scold you too much since you still seem to be learning at your own pace. But do not disregard other teachers’ classes simply because you think you can teach yourself.”

Actually, he didn’t need to tell me this, as I had realized it during his class on charms. It turns out they are called teachers for a reason.

“You don’t seem that angry, Mr. Zane,” Professor Flitwick caught my attention again.

“Nope,” It was a simple answer, but it encapsulated how I felt about getting detention.

“Very Well, here is all the homework you also missed,” Saying that, he dropped a thick stack of parchment on his desk. “Use the desk in the corner, for the duration of your detention you will be completing all your homework. Due to the fact that you also skipped these classes, the teachers have doubled your requirements.”

“Damn,” I muttered out one word in defeat.

 

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[Author Corner]

Hi, many thing want say, no time to say, am sad.

A big thank you for Maple and Samot for giving Pinky Omninsanis its name.

Pinky is also a jet black book because it heavily amused me.

I am sorry chapter took ages, I am in a pressure cooker with no release mechanism.

Thanks for always reading my book, it genuinely makes me happy when I read all the comments. Even if you drop my book, I still appreciate you coming this far with me.

To be honest, when I started writing this book I didn’t think it would become as “popular” as it is. 1.5M views on webnovel, 30k views on the other platform ;). I am shocked I managed to write something so popular, even if it is using the framework of a successful franchise. Just because it’s a fanfic doesn’t mean its good, I have read my fair share of shit HP novels just because I couldn’t find anything I like. That is what spawned this book to begin with, I wanted to write something I would read with a fascinated smile.

I got sidetracked, thanks for all your support, even if you are silent warrior.

Cya next time.