HP: The Crazy One

I walk to the library, going through its wide doors and passing by the receptionist, who is giving me a long stare. In fact, most of the student body gives me similar stares. I guess nearly exploding myself isn’t great for my reputation.

I make a beeline straight towards the Runology books, hoping to gain a better understanding of why my experiment went so wrong and how to properly avoid it in the future, perhaps even designing runes to mimic safety precautions such as explosion proof glass and maybe a fire extinguishing system. Who knows.

Of course, due to my notoriety, this didn’t go unnoticed. Most of the students seeing that I was going towards the rune section decided to evacuate the library, some even screaming. I have no idea what’s being said behind my back, but this is ridiculous. However, thinking about it, this means I won’t be disturbed whilst I am reading.

Walking through the library, I grab all the books I could find that relate to Runes. As well as some miscellaneous books that captured my interest. Among these books is how to make music with magic. I place the books I had gathered on the nearest desk I found and sat down. I flipped open the first book and got reading.

 

--- 5 hours later ---

 

“It’s truly impressive how clueless I actually am…” I muttered out aloud.

I look around at my scattered notes all over the desk and books stacked up in a formation that mimics the Great Wall of China. I needed Dororthy, like immediately. I collect my notes that are completely out of order and stuff them into my robes, before walking up to the Librarian.

“Yo,” I say aloud.

She turns around, shocked at what I said and gives me a bewildered stare.

“How do I put the books back that I collected?”

She continues to look at me bewildered for what feels like a lifetime, before giving me an answer.

“Just ask the books to go back onto the shelves,” She muttered, before turning her attention back to what she was doing.

“Ask the books…”

That sounds stupid enough to almost work.

I walk up to the mess I made, pick up one of the books and ask in a very polite tone.

“I don’t suppose you could go back to your bookshelf?”

Just like that, the book forced its cover open and started to “fly” away out of my hands. I turn my attention to the rest of the books.

“And the rest of you?”

They all start shaking, as if responding to my question, before flying away in a similar matter. I stare at the scene of them joining the fray of the flying books above the library that I never noticed before. Sometimes the books seem to get lost, and hit each other before falling out of the “sky” and onto a desk, usually scaring the shit out the student sitting there.

I give off a light chuckle and walk out of the library towards my next destination. It doesn’t take long for me to get lost as I stare at the ceiling while walking.

“How come I never noticed the ceilings are all completely different?” I muttered.

“So you noticed too,” Someone said behind me.

“Fuc-!“ I jumped out of fright when I heard the voice.

 “Hi Zane,” Luna said, shoeless as ever and this time, hatless.

I clutch my chest, calming myself down before replying.

“Nargle ate your shoes?”

She gives a chuckle.

“The ceilings are all different, do you want to find out why?” She asked.

I stop and think.

“Well, to be honest its not that much of a surprise, this castle is old, even if magic was around back then, standardized material processing would be a pipe dream. Transfiguring stone blocks was impractical as well, when you could just use random rocks or pay the non-magical people for materials and just use that,” I started analyzing.

“On top of that, there were only 4 founders at the time, even with their magic capacity being the, Hogwarts is huge. 4 People working with materials from a quarry is a lot more feasible than 4 people transfiguring stone bricks for a year or two.”

“What about house elves?” She asked.

“They are a variable, did house elves exist back then? Where did they come from? Who knows, probably not them. We can go ask them in the future,” I replied.

She gives me a faint smile before walking away.  

 “What a wonderful theory, Mr. Zouglas,”

“FUC-!” I yelled out of shock.

“Watch your language, young man!” Professor McGonagall reprimanded.

“What is it with everyone sneaking up on me?!” I asked, frustrated.

She seemed to ignore my frustrations and continued with what she had to say.

“You should submit a paper with your theories, they are very interesting to listen to,”

What? That sounds like a pain.

“I’d rather not professor,” I say, before running away.

 

--- At the Ravenclaw Tower  ---

 

I reach the Riddler, my nickname for the door, and wait for the question to let me in.

The bronze knocker comes alive, and asks a question.

“What is 1+1?”

I feel my mind lag.

“Uh, like, 2?” I stumble over my words.

“Well Reasoned.” The knocker opens the door.

I walk in dumbfounded, as the other Ravenclaw students briefly look at me before returning their attention to their books.

“Whatever,” I beeline straight to my room.

I let out a sigh while staring at my bed, how tempting it is to take a quick nap. I check the sun, which seems to still be up, and consider it.

“I should wake up before Dinner atleast…” I mutter, before dolphin diving into my bed.

I slowly melt both physically and mentally, falling asleep.

 

--- 6 Hours Later ---

*Poke Poke*

I grab the hand poking me.

“I need to invent a poke shield or something,” I grumbled.

“How am I going to poke you then?” A voice asked.

“Good point,” I grumbled back and let go of the hand.

*Poke Poke*

Oh, wait.

I open my eyes to see Luna poking me again.

“Do I ask how you got in, what your doing or what time it is first?”

“It’s 10pm,” Luna replied.

 “I guess that’s one out of three,” I get out of bed and do an inventory check.

Wand, Check.

Dororthy, Check.

Random rocks I’ve collected for later experiments, Check.

“Doesn’t it hurt to sleep with rocks in your pocket?” Luna asked.

“You know what, not really,”

I walk out of the dorm rooms, making my way towards the kitchen. I completely missed dinner and am now going to annoy the house elves, with Luna hot on my heels.

We get about halfway there before I run into a somewhat annoying reoccurring character in my life, one that I would like to limit my contact with given that his life will never be “normal.”

“Hey… Harry. And others.” I said, staring right at the trio who seem to be shocked at my greeting.

“Oh, are you pretending to be invisible again?” I asked.

The three don’t reply, simply staring at me and Luna. I let out a sigh and continue towards the kitchen, with the three now following me.

“Who were you talking too?” Luna asked.

“You can’t see them?”

“Nope,”

“Weird,”

The conversation stops there, as we arrive at the portrait of the kitchen. No tickling required as the door swings open, where Julis is waiting for us.

“Table for two?” Julis joked.

“For 5 actually,” I joked back.

Julis’s eyes widened abit, before responding.

“Of course, here you go Sirs,” Julis leads us towards the table where he then snaps his fingers, causing 5 plates of food to pop out of thin air. Me and Luna take one side, the other side has 3 plates but no people.

However, I saw the trio sit down, before they took of their cloak.

“How do you keep doing it?” Ron asked.

I shrug, mouth full of food.

“How do you keep seeing us under the cloak? It’s an invisible cloak! You’re not even wearing glasses and you’re not crazy enough to enchant your eyeballs!” Hermione asked.

I give her a thousand yard stare, and swallow my food.

“That’s… not a bad idea actually…” I muttered, trying to get a reaction.

“YOU-!” She started.

(AN1)

“Hermione, calm down,” Harry started.

“Zane, please don’t tell anyone we have this.”

“Ok,” I said, getting back to my food.

They start to put the cloak back on, but I started speaking again.

“It’s rude to leave unfinished food, you know,” I said.

Source? I made it up, but I wanted to see what they would do. Harry looked conflicted, while Ron seemed apathetic, Hermione is just staring, squinting her eyes at me to see if I am lying or something.

Such a range of characters.

The trio ended up finishing their food, even though they probably had dinner and left in a hurry.

“Hehehe,” I chuckle quietly.

“I see them now,” Luna said.

“Yep, help me hide from them in the future,” I say.

“Why?”

“They are going to be very troublesome in the future,”

“How do you know?”

“At this point, it’s a gut feeling,”

The conversation ends there, as we walk out of the Kitchen.

“I am going to the library, what are you going to do?” I asked.

 “Be around,” she replied.

Ok…

I nod and walk off, setting course for the library.

 

--- Hogwarts Library ---

 

The door is locked; however, I learnt the unlocking charm today specifically for this.

I wave my wand, and utter the incantation.

“Alohamora”

*Click*

I open the door and felt no resistance. The mix of fresh and old books hit my nostrils, causing me to take a deep breathe in. Interestingly enough, the books are still flapping when there are no students around. Do some just enjoy flying?

I sit down at a desk and try to call out to one.

“Hey! You! Yes, dark brown leather, no not you, the other one, golden locket, no no, why are there so many golden lockets? Yes, you. Can I read you?” I somewhat shouted in the library.

It should be fine considering there is no one else here.

The book slowly flapped towards me, and grew in size. Before I knew it a half a meter tall book was heading straight towards me on a war path.

“Oh… shit,”

*Thud*

The book hit me squarely in the chest, knocking me over and winding my lungs. I gasp for air whilst laying on the ground recovering.

“… Wont… Be doing that again…”

I get up, still wheezing and place the book on the desk. This time I have Dororthy and Time, as long as I’m in bed before the sun rises, I’ll be fine.

 

---------------

Author Corner:

Hi. I died. But I lived, so here I am. Life, gets in the way of things you like to do. Sometimes you just gotta do them though.

AN1: I was going to do something kind of morbid here but found out Harry doesn’t even know what the fuck cloak he has until like 1998 so fuck me, I guess.

Ill try and update this weekly, mainly towards the end of the week. It has been awhile since I have written something so everything past --- 5 hours later --- is recent. Let me know if my writing style has unconsciously changed.

Cya next time.