Homestar Saga

"I saved your entire goddamned station!" Mims shouted at the comms. The Captain had been... irritable. The calm surety he'd displayed in one crisis after another had disappeared shortly after leaving Xill space. In its place was a murderous fury, barely contained.

 

"And you got paid for that," An annoyed trelg growled in response. "But Trelg National only sells to tier 2 customers and higher. We don't do business with likes of you."

 

"The likes of me!?" The Captain waved his arms as he screamed at the sales rep. "The likes of me could buy your entire fucking country! I've done shit you can't even imagine. There is no the likes of me!"

 

"No one cares what you've done, human." The rep told him. "We don't want your money. Argva the Progenitor forsakes all who are not trelg, but he hates humans most of all. Nothing you do will change that. You are lower than the lowest of us, and your soul will burn in the lowest circle of Han-sen, thrice cursed three times over."

 

"Fuck you," hissed Mims. "I should have left you to the pirates. Next time I will." He ended the transmission, then spent several seconds cursing to himself, body rigid, fists clenched.

 

"Well," Yvian tried for casual. The sheer intensity of the Captain's rage intimidated her, but she would cast her self into The Crunch before she'd admit it out loud. "You said it was a longshot..."

 

"If I want your..." Mims started, then clenched his teeth. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He uncontorted his face and toned the anger down a notch. "I mean, longshot. Yeah. The trelg weren't likely to work with us. Looking down on other species is part of their religion. Which is stupid, considering how little they've accomplished." He glared at his console. "But if they weren't so shitty they wouldn't need to be self righteous fuckheads. The more pathetic you are, the more important it is to have someone to look down on."

 

"We're not like that," Yvian mused. "Pixens, I mean."

 

"Of course not," Lissa told her. "We're not pathetic."

 

"We're an entire species of mostly exploited sex workers." Yvian pointed out. "That's pretty downtrodden."

 

"But it's not pathetic." Lissa countered. "We're a proud people with a vibrant history."

 

"We're the ones everyone else looks down on." Yvian gave Mims a sidelong glance. He glowered straight ahead not looking at anything in particular. Yvian wasn't sure if he was still listening.

"We're barely better than humans."

 

Mims didn't take the bait. He continued to glare at nothing. The three of them fell into an awkward silence.

 

It had been three days since they escorted the human delegation to the Xill hub. When the SDF Dresden arrived Mims had initiated his jumpdrive before he'd even finished introducing the humans to Exodus. He barely finished his sentence before the Jump effect took hold.

 

Once again, Yvian found herself in the sector containing the Lucendian crystal mother. Its computer suppression field was still active. The Captain had to find his way to the Recompense's bridge to bring the ship to a stop. On his way back to the hangar bay, he started to shake.

 

It was small at first. Yvian didn't know how long it had been going before she noticed. A twitch in the legs. A tremor in the shoulders. His steady, even breathing grew lengthier as he took slow, big lungfuls of air, trying to center himself.

 

The shaking intensified as they boarded the Random Encounter. Yvian felt a brief moment of panic as she wondered if he'd been poisoned. His breath grew ragged. He leaned a hand against the bulkhead, head bowed.

 

"Mims?" she'd asked.

 

"I'm alright," he'd gasped through clenched teeth. "I just need... We don't have time. Take over. Get the ship."

 

"What's..." But as she reached for him, saw his face, Yvian understood. The return to Aldara. The fear and the memories. He'd held it all in. Kept himself together. Until now. The worst of the danger was behind them. The pressure it had provided was gone. In its absence, the Captain had lost control. He was having a panic attack.

 

"There's...no time," he insisted. His body spasmed and shook. "I'm... a liability... Get... the ship..." He sank to his knees. "Hurry... we've only... got three... days..."

 

"Mims..." If he was in this condition, maybe this wasn't a good idea. They could leave. Come back later. It's not like the Crystal Mother was going anywhere. "Maybe we should-"

 

"We can't." Mims shook his head as he guessed what she was thinking. "It'll be swarming...with humans... in a week... It's now or...never." He glared up at her. "Go."

 

She didn't want to leave him there, but she did. When she told her sister what had happened, Lissa rushed to check on him. She found he'd locked himself in his quarters along with the contents of their entire liquor cabinet. He refused to let her in.

 

Locating the planet was easier this time. Since they'd been this way before, Yvian knew there was nothing dangerous in their way. She poured on the speed, accelerating much more then on the previous trip. They reached the Vore infested world in less then a day, but without instruments Yvian had misjudged how soon they needed to decelerate. They overshot, and it took a few extra hours to reverse course and make their way back.

 

Finding the Crystal Mother took several hours more. Even knowing what to look for, it was not easy to locate without sensors. Yvian was mindful to fire the Encounter's weapons continuously at the large ship as they approached, offering what energy they could to let the Crystal Mother maintain it's suppression field.

 

They docked without incident, and spent a solid half hour showering one of the smaller crystal ships with plasma. This was what they had come for. Yvian lugged a portable generator to their new prize. She wanted to name it Shiny, but Lissa convinced her to wait on the Captain before christening the crystal ship.

 

Once again, a crystal ship welcomed her touch. She felt its mind coo in pleasure as the generator pumped electricity directly into its hull. Yvian felt her senses expand as the ship searched its surroundings. She left the Crystal Mother and made for the Recompense at the best speed her new ship could manage. The Random Encounter followed behind.

 

Thanks to her ship's odd crystal mind interface, Yvian knew the return trip took eighteen hours and eleven minutes. She was able to start deceleration at exactly the right time to avoid overshooting the Recompense. The Terran built cruiser had not been brought to a complete stop as they had believed, and was over a hundred kilometers from where she thought they'd left it.

 

It was only after they'd left the sector that Captain Mims shambled out of his quarters. Bleary eyed and still a little drunk, he shambled onto the bridge of the Recompense as Yvian commed the Xill that they were just passing through.

 

"We got the ship," Yvian told him. "You want to go to Krog Prime?"

 

"Not yet," the Captain told her. "That ship's a piece of tech no one's seen before. We need to stash it somewhere safe. Preferably without anyone knowing we've got it. He shuffled over to a station and activated a nav console. "I've got a place. Activating Jumpdrive."

 

The Jump took them to an unclaimed sector. Yvian saw several planets, but none that could support life. A pair of large asteroid belts stretched around the system. Mims plotted a course for the farther belt and engaged the autopilot. Then he shambled off the bridge, heading for the med bay.

 

Two hours later they reconvened on the bridge of the Random Encounter, and Mims started making comms.

 

The awkward silence stretched. Mims had been contacting shipyards and equipment docks for three hours. Trelg National had been more abrasive than the others, but they all gave the same reply. Even the Krog shipyards had refused him. Licensed privateer Mims may be, but no one wanted to sell weapons to a human.

 

"You know..." Yvian knew this wouldn't go over well, but she decided to make the suggestion anyway. "Migo could arm the Recompense."

 

"Fuck Migo."

 

"I know you're pissed at him," she continued. "And you're right. But he's got what we need to arm the Recompense, and he'd be willing to take the job."

 

"Fuck Migo."

 

"Yeah, fuck Migo," Lissa chimed in. "There's got to be another independent shipyard that can do what we need," Mims looked at her, brows furrowed. "Right?"

 

Mims swore. "Not really. The ones that don't belong to a corporation belong to pirate clans. Migo deals with pirates, but he's not owned by them. And he's got the connections to get what we need. There are a couple other independents, but they're smaller and they won't be able to provide heavy ordinance."

 

"So..." Lissa hesitated, then asked, "Does that mean we're stuck with Migo, then?"

 

"God damn it." Mims sighed. "Probably."

 

"Should we give him a comm?" Yvian asked.

 

"Not yet." The Captain shook his head. "I'm not up to dealing with that level of aggravation. Let's make dinner and get some sleep." He grimaced as he stood. Yvian guessed enough time had passed for a hangover to set in. "I'll comm you when the burgers are ready." He shuffled towards the kitchen, one hand massaging his forehead.

 

"Will there be beer with our burgers?" Lissa asked. The girls had refrained from imbibing while they retrieved the crystal ship. Yvian's eyes lit up at the thought of partaking again.

 

The Captain paused on his way through the hatch. "There fucking better be."